Zedman

Thanks. Ill take that as a motivation. Been putting this off for too long.

Lets take an example. I used to think my addictions and self deceptions were the ego. Then I realized my desire to get rid of those behaviors is also ego. Are they both ego? Can we determine what ego is NOT?

@Leo Gura Is it because everything is happening at once? As in this dream happening simultaneously with ''your'' dream.

Always fun to do a mental masturbation on absolute infinity. Let me set you up before we proceed. Think and imagine deeply what IS absolute infinity and what could we find in it? If i got it correctly it has EVERYTHING, right? So whenever I let my imagination loose I can be sure it has/is/will happen? 1)So it must mean there is a place where I am in my current ego state and at the same time in creator mode (basically paradise). I would summon and experience whatever I want while doing it from this body and through being this human I currently am. Nice. 2)So it also must mean there is a place where I am experiencing 10 thousand years or non-stop torture (basically hell)? Not nice. 3)Now with this logic you can be absolutely sure that there is an anthropomorphic entity watching every second of your life on its TV. Why would it not be in the infinity? Wave your hand and say hi 4)Do you think things repeat themselves in infinity? In other words is every moment unique? I have a sense there is no need for something exactly the same to be created twice but at the same time its infinity it has to have everything, even infinite amount of the same thing. I call in this thread to contemplate, share Ideas or just entertain each other with more ridiculous examples of what could we find inside infinity.

Decade of self development, almost a year of spirituality. Still no results. I am in a state of degeneracy(for a lack of a better word) and it blocks my attempts of self improvement. Big thanks to Leo for spirituality. Now at least I am not depressed about it. I have compressed this issue like this: Self improvement requires action but action requires some level of self development. I feel that I have gotten very good at introspection and I know how and why, but I still can do nothing about it. Every attempt is like hitting a wall with a pea. Feels like there is another being doing what it wants. The same when i started my journey. Am I doing something wrong or is it mental condition? During psychodelic meditations I saw that trying to be in charge of subconscious mind is like walking through a wall. That suggests I can do nothing about it and should just surrender to my body. After all maybe god wants to just chill and drink beer every day this time around and it is my ego that wants something more.

@Leo Gura If commitment is the centerpiece puzzle, then what IS commitment? More importantly how to make it real? Every one has it. But not in its true form. How to make it true?

@Gesundheit2 This supports my other theory. Surrendering Ego means not giving up degeneracy. It means giving up desire to give up degeneracy. Who knows this meme will understand:

Joining the club. How about instead of this you just feel a ''NO'' from somewhere. You still think positively, you are still uplifted, motivated and what disgusts you instead is this ''NO''. And if you become really stubborn it just uses distraction and you forgot about this all thing entirely and now procrastinating in peace.

@Rigel I started this journey because of a dream but I think you hit the spot with mental masturbation part. But what if its the only thing I have control of? @Gesundheit2 I am not able to just detox. Or at least it seems that way. I want to but the body just snaps every time. The same with other actions. They require will that I am not in control of. When I ask how to stop degradation your advice sounds like ''duh just stop degradation''. Brings me back to mental disorder theory. @lxlichael This is something similar to what I am developing. Except I don't have such vivid visual imagination. So now you see a better picture. If i can rephrase my question it would be this: When you are out of will. When ego has you by the balls. How do you get the ball rolling? How do you start the fire? All I have is belief that I should do it. All I have is theoretical foundation and higher values that I consider True in a stubborn and bitter manner . And even then I feel its being undermined during prolonged egoic phases. And then when I do get the ball rolling how to not snap? It just takes over without asking. It just turns ''me'' off. Thanks everyone for bringing ideas. This may help a lot of people. Testing some stuff right now will keep you posted.

Analogy to mandatory vax. What sacrifices in terms of freedom are we willing to make to save lives? In other words why lose lives in a war for example? Just surrender. This way battles and deaths will be avoided.

I can see how egotistic society and those in power notice the rise of spirituality one day and start censoring it. Are we going to change our views on censorship then?

Since when are we afraid of death? Arent there more important things in life? Lets say a country gets invaded in the 21st century. Why fight the invaders and lose lives if you can surrender? No one will genocide you you will just have to work harder. This raises some big questions and conscious discussions. Especially in this forum. Why silence people? Could there be long term implications of mandatory vax and lockdowns more severe than the virus itself? What cost more to the economy covid deaths or government mandated lockdown? Imagine a world where keeping everyone alive at all costs is no1 value. How many tradeoffs would we have to make? Lets say anti vax side is evil. How conscious would we be without the flip side of the coin?

Dear God, It's been 8 months since my awakening. This is when i knew. This is when spirituality became a fact. A lot of work has been done but the kickback... I cant! I am sure I am not the only one. Give me advise. What to DO if i am stuck in between? Leo, many like me need advise. You are running too far ahead. In particular I need to know how to combine self-development with spirituality. So far its been farce dealing with both at once! TLDR; Ego kickback so bad I am getting bad ideas... No not suicide, instead its zen-devilry...is it the fate of this body? Respecfully, You