Applegarden8

Hahahahaha

I met one woman I really like yesterday. I have met her before and I acctually would like to help her with her life and I feel I resonate with her. We had a good chat for 2 and a half hours, we hugged, she hinted to have another date and that's that. I see that she wanted me to escalate, or kiss her or whatever, but, me being me, I haven't done this. My inner game is pretty strong because she resonates with me, but I know that she wanted me to escalate and that wasn't the first time. Any ideas guys? If there is a next time and it's OK if there isn't, you suggest going for it? I am not even like hook-up of sex savy, I was not expecting it from her but she was receptive to me and I liked her company, we both had each other's attention I don't think I would have with many people. Sincerely, Applegarden.

Thanks, all the best, man!

@NoSelfSelf Sorry, man, I do not understand what you are trying to say at this point. Anyway, there is no point in continuing this. Enjoy your rest of the day. Peace.

So you are doubling down. I am not interacting with this. I disagree. This is still disturbing for reasons I don't care to explain, for example that a human being is more than a piece of meat to get "intimate with". I am not here to manipulate anybody or sell myself. Your whole argument is weather I am something or I am not something. Doesn't address my specific problem whatsoever, which @Raze did. The irony is that on self-development forum you don't get advice but you get put down because you are not something and then you get insecure about your identity and actuality destroy your life trying to catch a ghost.

Well, you were there so you would know I assume. I highlighted where I come from in the OP so it indicates that I am growing and I always will have a room to grow. I wouldn't believe just a few years ago I could be so content with myself and that is in fact inner game and law of state transference works really well for me meaning I did not feel insecure, worried, or too attached of the outcome, I felt really good, even if I didn't escalate and I could tell she resonated. I am not so insecure so I will not take your BS. If you are criticizing me technically, yes I failed to escalate (due to lack of outer game or whatever) and I have a room to grow to read women's clues and to figure out what I want from a relationship to figure what kind of people I would like to attract in my life, that's why I am looking for the insights @Raze provided and the encouragement @Yimpa provided. Anyway I feel I provided some value to her life and I also learned something out of this interaction, and I am glad I did it. By the way, for a moderator of an self-development forum your feedback provides nothing but criticism coming out from insecurity and nothing of value. You didn't highlight where specifically I am lying with self-deception examples from your observation or your life. Your lame and half-asses insult doesn't help anybody. I think you need to be evaluated so that you don't further demoralize people on the important journey of getting their desires fullfilled. @Leo Gura what do you think on @NoSelfSelf reply to my initial post? Did you think he provided any value with his comment or maybe he causes more harm and can't be taken seriously like, at all? Have a nice day.

@Raze thanks. Looks like with what I know is not enough. I need to learn some basic on information like basic pickup theory you highlighted to read a woman's signals and have the same pace as her and know what to do. Never tought of learning that, although, it would be a bit unfortunate to not date her as I strongly resonate with her. But I am learning this for all of the other encounters of women, although I am interested in a certain type of women and for some reason her doing music is a big green flag, that means she has some qualities she uses that I like. I have come a long way though, I did have very low degree of social anxiety and my meditation practices made my inner game very strong. Also due to no-fap I didn't have the fear that I will lose her and that I have to have her. Even now, i get it that she is a free person and can do whatever she wants. And after all, I did not have a scarcity mindset of getting her to do something for me or whatever, I genuinely enjoyed her company and sharing and giving perspective to her problems. Yes, I was not playful enough, but, the dude who I authentically am I am starting to like, but I almost never express it.

But he's potentially 7.4 k posts closer to where he should be, don’t you think? If he uses that time of course.

Desire to change, projecting what I want consistently and regularly and self-reflection in general. I want to put the accent that it's the combination of both. Something pushed me due to more space of resolved past trauma and pulled me due to established direction and organized action.

Men on average give less fuck, take more risks, make bold moves and are more autistic than to care about ordinary things. I have never met such weird interesting women as I have met totally different men imbalanced in different ways with their own coping mechanisms.

I just want to add the context here. Almost nobody I have met has asked me what do I want and that it's important. That tells me almost nobody does what they want to do. And that is super sad. And that's why you get so much hate when you do pursue what you want. Is that idea of you contemplating on what you want to do is too much to ask really? I would like to ask all of those smug people that who are drown in their ideologies. Do you really not love yourself at least that much? You do not even consider it's possible. And knowing that this has happened to a fellow actualizer it is very sad indeed. Now it's just mainly coping, reflecting, meditating, getting healthier and all that mainly to wait for next lifetime and trying to do bits of pieces of what you actually wanted to do, if you have found a direction.

People say to me, ohh just do this and that. Buy some pets, get married, get a car, get a house, just get an apartment and renovate it, let's s go and travel to some bullshit location every week, let's eat shit and play games today and that today happens too often, yeah. Why don't you have children. Why don't you do X with your life? All of these things take massive amount of time and care. I want to figure what I want to do and spend my time doing it. But a lot of these suggestions sound like, bro I have nothing to do with life, let's fill your free time with all of that too. I feel you bro.

I always start making something just to delete it. This time I started making a map that I will work on once in a while like 2 hours per week, but i will not delete it no matter what, even if i will not finish it and quit making. Great. The idea is simple, you have a regular RTS map with modified Human race with upgrades to scale later in the game and it's like a 8 player defence aginst creeps like 100 of them spawning in different combinations and they get stronger and have more abilities as the game progresses. The cool thing is that their abilities force the player to respond and it's not just who has the most attack damage or hitpoints. These creeps can steal your creeps. Turn them to their side or just nuke them or make them all fall asleep or keep healing themselves so you have to think how to counter them. I want to put an end to the whole computer game saga of my life and just keep going more music and putting more energy into getting healthy and meditation. But I wanted to challenge myself to make a map since most of the custom maps are garbage on wc3 and people like witii (a wc3 streamer plays those shitty maps which blows my mind). And reforged sucks. Blizzard sucks. The end. BTW there is something very funny with giving wc3 AI abilities like wind walk and watching him use them. But yeah I am very clear, what I am doing is what I shouldn't be doing. But I underestand that I can't quit to just transition to having a purposeful life or whatever, it has been my coping strategy for life for like 18 years. But I have had periods where I haven't played at all. But! When I "quit" or change it for a different activity, it goes into the next delusion like over eating, watching the internet, social media and stalking, gossiping, sexuality or the disease of taking life too seriously and being afraid about everything. So my computer game addiction primarily was one of these manifestations of a bigger problem.

Yeah, I feel there is something inherently wrong that I feel emotionally after working 10 hours on Warcraft III editor. It just boring and depressing somehow. But I don't have this feeling when I practice or compose music for extended periods, just more frustration as it is harder mentally somehow. And I feel internally I am wired to do music, but I know it's not the ultimate thing in life to do.

I see potency in my practice, and this happened about a year ago but it's a gradual phebomenon for me. This potency expresses as an invitation to sit longer when I choose to do it which is not often. But I can see myself sitting longer because there is bliss available and it's like the experience pulls you in into more and more intense sielence. I can see myself becoming amphibious meaning that I can act and I am slowly learning how to not act. Will see how it goes, meanwhile I will keep meditating and some form of yoga and contemplation going for myself. You can say it's a breakthrough or asset I have earned just by doing these practices or maybe there are some other past life influences which are expressing now.

Death

Yeah, the most intermediate helpful was doing something like yoga namaskar, sambhavi mahamudra and naddi shuddi daily, since it takes about 20-30 minutes to complete. That gives good lubrication. There are other things I can share privately. The problem is that different things will help at different times. Burnout happens due to lack of bliss and sense of overall health it think. If you manage to nail that, then I think you can change any other area of your life more or less sensibly.

It doesn't matter. This my last lifetime.

Yes, people will have AI chat bots for their entertainment, planning and self-reflection device.

I think you will not get as low as Sadhguru numbers. You really need a lot of things cleaned up in your lifestyle to do that.

If you can't or don't want to put the effort into getting laid, spiritual practice has helped me to the point that I think wether having sex is even worth it. With spiritual practice I mean some form of yoga, tantra, dharana, dhyana paired with vegetarian lifestyle. Dude I quit jerking off like 6 months ago and some aspects of my life really have improved. I care MUCH less about my social value and seeking validation. I will of course sometimes wander in that, however it's not affecting me as much.

Yes, you are right. Unlike the gear youtubers and top musicians trying to sell you Abasi guitar, Horizon Devices distortion and GGD drum vst and bunch of other crap. It's their business that they convince you to buy from them. That's how they do music while you buy their gear and not manage to do music.

Wow, this video is very important for me. Mental health is important, don't take it for granted. I am blessed to know what is meditation to the point I don't need any medication. The average person is having a moment of psychosis once in a while. And will have it more frequently, at least that's what the trends show. I feel like I have to start talking. I have to start talking about musicianship and importance of it. In a million years I didn't know that he has this problem. He was like the most positive guy on the net.

Peer pressure is everywhere. Everywhere. To the point it can kill you (and me) if you are in a wrong place and time. Peer pressure and resisting it makes me question what is real freedom. It's scary.

We are in a time where your mental health is very very valuable to you and it will be more with the AI. Besides, you are in a sea of people who are not mentally well and can't or won't guide you because they are not competent enough or "it's not their problem", but every unwell person on this earth really is your and everyone else's problem because it will affect your well-being. And especially when you are becoming a parent, you should have some serious self-reflection under your belt otherwise if you can't cope, do you trust that your children will or the significant other will cope? I feel i am not even qualified yet for that. I don't want to do all of that damage (and I mean that not all was not necessary, but most mental turmoil) I received growing up to another human being. My mother once replied me "somehow you will manage to take care of your children". I understand what this somehow means, and I can't imagine how bad it was for other people.