Applegarden8

Well, then I just don't care enough to care or know. I will just wait till my instincts die and do my practices. I have a very strong artistic desire and I don't want to compromise on that. I don't value any statement by anybody on the fear on missing out. Never scales well with reality. Life has not shown it to me that this is worth it, I have discovered worth somewhere else I guess. By the way I haven't seen a lot of balanced people including myself. We all have very obvious fears and flaws and are very predictable and fragile in many ways, just like any other animal in that sense. Even if I admit, I will not change a single thing about this aspect probably. I just don't care. Life has gotten to me. I just want to fulfill some of my artistic desires, renounce everything and just wait for death. We are going to disagree about this endlessly. No point. I accept that I will not have it, period. Not because I feel unattractive or incapable. I guess it's my choice not to. I will embrace my loneliness if it comes and when it comes. It's OK, this form is very temporary.

I cannot say I am objectively right, but my worldview is as valid as yours. I don't need to be a man. I need to survive, find the truth on the way and to have some fun. There are limited resources to your desires. If I have a relationship, I will have to give up something like time, focus and my very valuable time to think about my life and sit in sielence. So this giving up something maybe is potent time for solitude and inner growth, maybe creativity, maybe that extra time to check myself twice at work to make sure I don't make a disaster. Maybe I want a partner, but I also want many other things, therefore I don't know what I really want and my survival determines what I want. So I want what is approachable and in a sense comfortable yet what I authentically desire sometimes and I really break some fears with this desire. About this old, lonely ghost I disagree. I can die tomorrow or even today. I understand I am not the body, this is somewhat a reality for me, and I can go only deeper in it. I may crave a lot of things, but even if I crave, the Truth shines trough either in self-reflection or more suffering. I think the older the better in this situation. Yes, relationships are a problem for me. So I just avoid them in general, keep only a few. Yes, I can't really authentically engage with people, I can't be honest. I don't feel like I can be me, because I will say something too direct that you maybe not be ready to hear. People usually come to me to vent, not to look for a solution for example. But my deepest worries, fears, existential problems I can't really talk with anyone I know, and I guess there is no need to, I just keep using the tools to reflect them in solitude, but I will gather another layer of insights I can't share. Yes, I am unexperienced with women, sex bla, bla. But I don't care, really. My mom and dad had sex made me and then... divorced. My grandfather and grandmother also did the same, did not divorce, but lived a terrible life together, insulting each other every day, for both, mother and father sides, one just ended quicker. My family is like an anti-family. Very neutral, but I like it. I need to make my living anyway, need to find out what I need to find out anyway. OK, I will not have a woman's touch for the rest of my life but I have a chance to experience that my body is not me as a living experience, so then, why do I need that?

Be careful what you wish for. You might be doing all right and existential problems will happen. Don't wish for it, don't actively seek it out. Good that you don't have it and have good circumstances. Most people so not have what they want, don't wish misfortune upon yourself, I think you do not want it. Terrible war, breakup, deterioration of health, losing a loved one, losing purpose without reason and not knowing the reason why, being jelous of somebody, being oppressed by somebody, not having enough time for your vision and more is all that could and probably will happen to you, me and everyone. You don't need to wish it for the sake of fantasy. I may have misunderstood you, but please, don't destroy what you have.

I can resonate a bit. There have been women that I would like to have dated and they would like that I would have dated, but it was just not my priority. Deep down I feel that I need to work on my life and work on my general ignorance about life as it was an issue since I remember myself. The instincts of the body are pretty strong though. As much as I like women, I think I will not date. I don't know why I am born, and it bothers me.

Distraction, distraction and distraction.

Wow, so much creativity went into this.

Well, if the myths are true, beings like Shiva didn't have these problems.

I hate reaction and commentary vids but this guy has so much charisma, hahahaha.

Again, fucking men, am I right.

Yes, I do nadi shuddi, namaskar practice and ajna chakra dharana daily and I want to expand this concept into my diet.

Well every truth expressed in words is a lie. But some lies are better than others. Opening people's mind to the Possibility is great, nonetheless. In this work you will shed layers and layers of skin to refine your models to the Truth.

You too man, here is some vapourwave by yours truly.

50/50 gamble, you can have amazing results or have a situation where you want to quit. I personally would not, because I would like to think about my work just as a social obligation for which I gladly take responsibility, and nothing more. The rest of my life is as valuable as that and I don't want to mix them anymore than I already have. The problem is that your coworkers ideas and suggestions about how you should live (and but the majority does something like this, why don't you) start to bleed in your life, but it's your sacred responsibility to find out how you want to live your life, you need to cultivate your own ideas.

But that's not nothing, I think you agree. To convince somebody of something in this work is nothing but great at every step.

I am not a musician, I try to grind it on my free time, believe it or not. I work in a STEM field. I know online game and content addiction is real, I used to be addicted to video games, and I am trying to find ways to quit other forms of media for a long time, actually deleted my fb some time ago. Peace man!

Well sometimes I like to listen to my music I make too for entertainment, you know. By the way, I was not talking about me only, but about you too, so what about being on useless forums arguing about things in entertainment section? You could be doing what you are saying I should do. You could be going to Mars right now, you know. I don't know why, I just do! IDK it's kinda fun and I am not the only one! People make content for this game even. So, I am interested in leaving the internet, I have thought about it etc. cause it will improve the quality of my life, but maybe let's quit together? Could you?

You are correct, the less time spent on here, the better, but maybe for different reasons like this completely useless content here which I enjoy watching. But you have to come with me to quit the internet since your post count is alarming.

Dates maybe but I know some marathon runners and sports guys in general that ate dried apricots days before competition to help with their exit so to say, and they would not have to go to toilet at the event.

But why would you assume I am he's my idol. OK, you are trying to expose me to this information and disillution me or whatever, but disillusion from what; what is my problem here that needs a solution? Then you also say I am triggered, but I am just very curious about how do you have such a strong assumption that he's my idol? I am maybe a bit confused that you are poking at me, but I don't understand why, that's all.

maybe try looking into eating more of raw fruits and vegetables (around 70 % of your diet) and reducing meats and dry foods (potatoes, pasta, flour based foods) and see if you are relieved. Do you drink coffee or eat cocholate? Do you get moderate amount of sleep? Maybe try to stop it for a while and see if it works. Maybe try foods that promote more of a wet exit like dried aprichots? Also read the instructions on mendilex to check info about side reactions, consult some pharmacists maybe and see what gives you this side reaction if it's the active ingredient.

Ok, please disprove my observation that I think that Penguinz0 is entertaining, good story teller and knowing how to handle being famous. Do I have to write a confirmation letter to you so you can review so I don't describe people in a fanboy way? Why do I have to look in his negative to tell you that he is entertaining? Him, or anyone whatsoever? I don't have to look into his negatives, it's not my job, i am not an investigator or his supervisor, what meaningful information will I gain if I look into his negatives? I really don't understand you conclusion that I might be a fanboy.

No I am not a hardcore fan of him. I am not a fanatic of anyone, actually. Why would you think I am?

I am sorry, I am not familiar with this abbreviation. I just occasionally watch those guy to relax and find him somewhat entertaining.

I like how he tells his stories and jokes, doesn't have to be anything important whatsoever.