Applegarden8

It is a spectrum where some "events" happen without the other end. In this phenomenon I have noticed that different levels of development for taste of purification happens which correlates with waves of desire and desirelesness, fear and fearlessness and lack of any other feelings other than bliss and Sielence. Some small events come and go spontaneously mostly during meditation like some quantum leap or change of the seat of the soul where your vision becomes infinite and your sense of self expands temporarily, it's like you can't tell where your experience of life is located. Lack of dreams is a good sign. Bliss in the vishuddi, anja, sahasrara is a good sign, that a positive change towards that is gradually happening. Sometimes lack of neuroticism will also tell you you are getting closer or that neuroticism is sometimes a vehicle for a big experience (but don't push it if you can't sit trougn it). I have learned to reduce pain in the body and sit for longer periods of time, which kinda correlates with feeling of a less of a boundary between the whole and that which is the delusion. However, it is very gradual for most people. Just fighting with the same patterns of fears and greeds and over decades of practice some of them finally subside, and you can build momentum for sense of freedom and acceptance of life as an entire phenomenon which is 99.9% unknown to us opposed to the dream we call life. I want to make this clear, I have not had any extraordinary experience than anyone here and I am not claiming I am enlightened. But I have to know something that is working for me with it's benefits. There are some things indeed that a materially oriented person has not experienced or noticed while being completely sober. Something regarding life and death has been solved. Just a matter of deepening that. I always feel energetically bad for sharing this stuff for some reason. So don't take my word for it. Look for authentic scriptures and words from enlightened masters. If I will tell you something false and you will waste your life by doing what I said, it will be very unfortunate for you.

Sometimes you gotta figure how to wipe it, you know? Or why to wipe it for so long or to shit consciously or whatever. 😀

This happens only to people who are top 1 % of gamers and make money with it and how they play something is acctually very entertaining to watch because they are so good at it. Weed... well, I never trust and plan things with people that smoke weed, they will just find a reason not to do something and will lack focus.

Start singing. People who sing have very interesting and expressive quirks in their speech and intonation. I find it really attractive and I will instantly know if I hear it.

There are two things in life I have to avoid. One is female jazz vocalists and this demon.

I am not into chess. I rather play heroes of might and magic 5.5, pick necropolis, win everyone on impossible difficulty and the last opponent is a demon lord who gates his army and kills all my units with few losses.

I have heard multiple sources people like sadhguru and other kriya/hatga yogis and tantrics that it is not nonsense.

I like being submissive, because I am naturally very introverted and passive and I had a very authoritative figure in my childhood which resolved in a lot of trauma. But then I don't talk to women that much.

There was one metal concert I went to. I saw some guys in headphones trying to protect their hearing. These guys also told that one of the performers is a very good audio engineer. But acctually the sound of the performance objectively sucked because the speakers were fucked by the venue already. Meanwhile some of the most experienced musicians I saw (that i recognized locally that attended the event) they had no hearing protection. Strange, isn't it.

I will live for three things. Meditation, health and music.

I did not get what you meant, however I can expand a little bit further. About relationship, although I haven't had one, I tend to think this way. You will live with another human being for a long period of time. Neither of you are perfect. I feel that it has to be somewhat informed decision based on some things and of course you may not find the perfect one and have to choose from whatever options you have if any (for some men). You will be able to see what people value not from what they say but from subtle hints when they are interacting with different people and from watching their consistency of character in some moderate period of time. Since any relationship is transactional, you would have to think, well is it worth it for you? How it will affect your life? Based on their character, how would you estimate that, in what ways? If she is drinking for example, there are following consequences for that. She will endlessly try to convince you to drink and get mad/have arguments because of that. This habit will spiral some other issues from lack of awareness such as neglecting their finances, health, probably lying some more (because she has a destructive coping strategy and can't think in a bit bigger picture), drinking creates inferiority complex and she will always project that guilt on you with her other trauma which she is probably not going to resolve, because of her habit. She will think that she cannot change and cannot grow and ask you to change and make you feel guilty about being you instead of her. Also shaming you for not drinking means that she genuinely does not care about you. You are a vehicle in her life to feel secure about something I would assume, because that is the ancient story "I want to have everything other people seem to have which is the status of being with the other half". Also how do you feel yourself about her? Do you really like her or you are just being needy or she only triggers sexual desire? I once had a classmate that had a very big and fit round ass. She was genuinely a good candidate for relationship because she did not have a lot of bad habits and she was into sports, but I only had a sexual desire for her. Later on she hit on me even when she had a boyfriend. But instantly my logic turned on and I understood, even if I try to become her boyfriend, there would be so much drama and she left him after all, she can leave me too like that. And if I did date her, I would not become as of a musician I am l today and that is what I am most passionate about right now. Is living alone better or do you really need that companionship? I am not saying you don't, although I am biased towards being single, but it's up to you. Are there any different quality women in your circles? Are they better candidates for a sustainable relationship, raising children or living together with your ambitions, goals and desires?

I only really care about creating beautiful music, staying healthy and meditating. Maybe I will find such a crazy woman to be with, but from what I see around me it's a big investment of time, effort, arguments, sacrifices etc.

Bad quality person to hang around with. Leave her. She will not have enough awareness to be a decent person, to care about herself and to care about you and she has to resolve her trauma for which she has an alcohol problem and is arrogant about it "how can you not drink, how it is possible?" 1000x better to live alone or find someone else.

Heroes of might and magic 5.5. I think I am good enough to play for money, but it will be very long game, like a week.

I am starting to dislike tech death...

@ivankiss

Because what hurts most than to kill a father or mother image.

I am assuming you really found what is working for you, very good. And I love you dude, but I will forever disagree if you are undermining other techniques for other people with different quirks and attachments to the senses. The techniques you are trying to discredit are as valid and as potent as the ones you seem to have results with. Even some gurus say that past life regression and attaining to some siddhis or trying to stop the mind is a waste of time. Everything that makes you feel bigger than the body, mind, emotions, concepts etc. is meaningful, valid, because you are Mahadeva after all. There is an increased chance of getting lost in those powers and experiences or to abuse it. But we are so weak, we don't even possess those and do not know how a human can be. It would be so tremendously beautiful to see such people. If we can't hold on the necessary focus or have the necessary intensity, organization of our being, subtlety or intelligence to see what is what and stick to it, then attaining Enlightenment is even harder than all of this while you are in the body. It seems that most people awaken in the moment of death, because 99.9 % of their energy is spent on predictable, repetitive, survival based action. We don't even have the problems of confident, powerful, organized human beings who are capable of extraordinary things. Our problems are that we are suffering our chaos and weaknesses, and ofc exploiting others.

I think the rich eat more fresh and they generally eat very little in a bigger gap between meals.

Statistically, you will not succeed, you will probably not be able to withstand some of your desires and will spiral into dark night of the soul experience. I couldn't kill my desire for being artistic. I also tought the same. I couldn't find a good enough method, but I also didn't search enough. Kalabhairaba (god of destruction) and some hindu scriptures recommend that you only live for truth and find it while you are in this birth, if you can of course.

People these days mostly eat too much and eat too much refined carbs, fats, processed foods and eat too frequently. Acctually if you don't drink alcohol, coffee, tea, don't cosume any drugs and refined carbs, red meat, you will be just fine in stuff like groundnut and banana for a very long period of time. Similar would go for oatmeal, but maybe less, maybe you need more supplement if especially if you are very physically active.