Applegarden8

Are you sure? Like, for real? Really? This is your conclusion? Wow, I find it fascinating that you would say that.

Disagree. I was raised without a father figure. Then I was made to feel guilty about my desire for sex for different reasons. Either the social stigma around it in general (nobody wants to disclose who they are sleeping it and the double standards and hypocrisy, including my own for their mating choices), some extra baggage of things you need to comply with to have sex and to have somebody to have sex with as a man. Either being tought of being a pedophile or rapist in a social setting, just because you are there as a man or to chase endlessly, get laughed at, taunted at and not get responses and then learn game (which is a pretty hardcore thing to learn for most men) just to get in somebody's pants and masking it as something else or how certain industries just terribly exploit human sexuality (human trafficking for pornography or endless streaming of sexual content to people trough advertising or social media, showing their body on social media because they have nothing else to show) to the point it is not sexy at all and make it a barter, even in marriages this happens. And it feeds in explpiting human vulnerability and endless gossip. I really hate touching this subject because of society. I feel I am unhealthy in this aspect. What I learned is that I listened to some yogis that you don't need this aspect to even have a fulfilling life. And I practice that and to a large extent it works. And acctually there are different aspects of life other than sex if 95 % of the energy was not wasted in that, including myself. I find it amazing that you can just sit in one posture for a period of time or practice some kriya which acctually changes your life or get rid of a habit which poisons your life once for all. That you can be extremely productive, attentive or creative. I find this sexy. When interesting people just meet and talk, that is infinitely sexier than most of what is labeled sex. That is just desperate fantasy. And I have wasted time in that.

In the field of art it makes all the difference fiscally. You can get a place and gear by yourself and practice endlessly, you have money to organize events and tours etc. In the field of music you take an instrument practice for 4 years with no knowledge prior and practice somewhat full-time with a private teacher and you will play professionally, congratulations. But you will have problems. You will have problems though. Mentally.

Yes, at least one person got into spirituality because of me telling him about it. But it was easy, because I saw that it was his destiny and he was weird in a sense, similarly like me. Wait, I remember another person, a lady significantly older than me, I also showed her some practices and I think it helped her.

Could be vitamin D, B or Ferritin. Maybe thyroid related issue or who knows whatever else. When you get tested you get specifications on your report where it tells where your levels should be. In case of anemia, honey is also what you could try to consume more often. Have your tried supplements and vitamin complexes? What about macro/micronutrients? Have you tested them? There is no big difference between meat and fish I think unless you get to eat liver. Once in a while like a month would be fine I think. Maybe you lack something from dairy products. EDIT: once I get back to meat, I know and feel I have eaten meat. I personally don't like that feeling. I feel more agitated and I feel that my digestive system is under more friction and there is additional agitation when I am doing some kriya practices.

Morale of the story; if I would be in a relationship, having a dom is something I would like to have.

I was on a documentary film marathon and it find it interesting what kind of problems our societies have. They are many of course like this video and other ones I references. Regarding Zombies of Nairobi I have the following thought that I have received many criticisms about me not being a man and not doing "anything", (not having a family obviously), I am very curious at the same time why the can't verbalize this criticism in my face, but this it not the topic. The topic is, is making children always a good thing? In this place (Nairobi), for example? Or as quickly as you get 16 or 18 or 22 or whatever, but you have some habits and signs of immaturity and inability to handle having children which you find later. Either having some kind of personal ambition, addiction, emotional problem, systemic problem in a society, should you have them? I feel like it's some kind of perversion to make children for the status of having children and to project this to other people "why you don't have children". Maybe it would be fine if we have less people on the planet, since we need education and fight with industries and shadow governments to bring up healthy adults. Otherwise you are rising potential drug addicts, gambling addicts, NPCs that kill for their national identity and some ideology, and that one severely unhealthy adult comes to power and feeds people into catastrophies.

Two things helped me to the point nothing else has came close. 1) Death oriented life. Meaning that you contemplate death every day by reminding yourself that your clocks are running out no matter what you do. You will inevitably die alone and there is nothing you can take to the grave with you. Lack of self-importance really helped me. Or alternatively re-live your fears until you feel peaceful (there is an elaborate techniques of how which i can tell you personally). 2) Due to spirituality, i feel and understand that there is a possibility, if you REALLY want to life a purposeful life, fulfill that ONE desire, you have as many births as you need to take to fulfill that. Just see that you have infinite amount of time actually and harness, visualize that desire daily. It will relax you and actually motivate you to live no matter the obstacles. Rather interact with the completing feeling of raw energy of desire than projection of the mind. That helped to live more intuitively. Both are related to each other. Don't kill yourself, again you will spawn here with suicidal toughts.

Asking them about hard problems and their life problems. Being blatantly arrogant. Feeling insecure and afraid. Waiting for then to initiate something. Saying yes to everything they say, being too agreeable. Being needy and asking them to be around you constantly and to reply you instantly. Showing off your possessions and achievements turns a lot of women off. Having a lack of social circle or hobbies. Ect.ect.

I share your desires. I do music when I can and try to focus on truth and of course work to get some income. But nothing else, if you want to have some reasonable success. I still have to strive and figure out a lot of things like how to eat the cheapest and healthiest, how to live the most minimalistic, how to integrate yoga practice in my life like after work for example, how to deal with other people which constantly say that you should do this and that and why you don't have what others have and project the insecurities they have. Then I have to figure how to buy an apt and where could get an apartment where I could practice my instrument also. How to organize music related things like finishing my ep which I am going to perform live, rehearsing that, organizing and finding the event, figuring technical aspects and much more. Yeah... it's is a lot of pressure. Fear to lose it all. Fear of constantly standing out. It would be socially easier and "be a man" and "do something" like only work, buy something, renovate it, have a wife, make children, drink occasionally etc. Then you would be more "accepted". And then there is the truth question. How much truth to seek? To stay healthy? To keep your Fear of death minimum? To keep pure of values people project to you every day? It's a lot of pressure and very little amount of people practically will resonate with you. But at the end of it you will have this authentic smile which screams "i went trough it and it was worth it." And you will gain a lot of valuable insights in this path also trough music. Question how to make it sustainable.

My DMs are empty anyways, but let it be so.

A woman singing jazz tunes, if she knows how to sing. If only they knew how effective it is aginst me...

But not for chimps right?

I am a pretty feminine guy. My friends tell me that my body posture is that of a woman. I like to sit with my legs crossed like always for example.

I just checked what he is up to on yt and, well... I don't think that's what an awake person would do. Because he acts as orange as it gets.

To be honest, I can tell you my dating strategy if I ever had one. I am not a PUA or anything like that. And it is to become a human being you would want to be around with. You can become sweet, blissfull yet you can be ferocious. And generally the best characteristic is that you don't need things from people. But how would you have to feel to be like that? If I had a wife for example, I would like it to be in such a way that sex for example is not even needed. I have been contemplating this and I understood that 10 years of jerking off is not what I want to do because I feel that I am altering my proportions of desires of what I have come to do here. And it constitutes doing the same thing and it puts more boundaries that you have to live trough your dick and emotional need for somebody and you become more mentally unstable. And I have power to change that just to not have those artificial peaks in my hormones and it will sit in it's place naturally and I will have more freedom to live. From there I would like to live. I think her touch, voice or just presence is enough for me. I can't relate with red pillers and PUAs that you have to fuck constantly and always and the more partners the better. I think it's stupid and there has to be a way for those who do not want to handle sexuality it this way and want to adjust their very life for something else.

If people would develop whatever of these powers that ancient scriptures talk about, I don't think they will be sitting in this forum.

Ahh, the question why to do spirituality: "Meditation is a waste of time" "There are studies that meditation calms the mind and body" "Hmm I had an instersting experience that I i didn't feel I was breathing" "Huh, i started to feel happy for no reason" "Meditation helps with my depression" "I felt such an intense existential crisis, but I am happy" "I underestand that I may be nothing and life has no meaning" "Maybe death is not bad after all" "Society has their values completely wrong" "Maybe human kind has a different history" "Maybe aliens exist?" "Maybe life is a dream" "I don't feel like I have to be guilty for who I am" "Maybe I don't need what the other has? And they get very mad about it." "Maybe my life is completely about something else" "Maybe yoga is not just about stretching" "Some guy is conscetrating lingas somewhere in India, while your life is mostly thinking about sexual desire" "Maybe it's time to give, not only to take" My values have completely changed in 10 years of somewhat moderate amount spiritual practice. I have no idea what I will be like... "What for" is like Ramana Maharishi projecting to you: "Who am I", but you are supposed to find out for yourself. Hahahaha.

Be careful what you wish for, here you go. And the actual technique (i can find at least 2 more techniques, but I am lazy today)

You're fine. I have free days when I do nothing. I have days where I have breakthroughs. Work influences me. Society influences me. My bad habits influence me. I can act only on a free day and I have to go to a different location to play my instrument. I haven't lost my ability etc., it has gone a bit better acctually. There are times I envy everyone who is living a more traditional life, but I yet I fail to see a reason why and acctually I don't want to live like them. I just need to calm down and continue. Still have to figure a lot of stuff to have a sustainable lifestyle and a good foundation for the future. And then work on my life purpose. You are fine, if you don't want to do anything today, sit and visualize what you wanted prior, write on paper. Remind yourself of your core values. Just sit and relax. You can't fault yourself that you feel bad, so many things are influencing you. You feeling guilty about it leads to suicide. I sometimes envy people who have time to play their instruments more too, but I have what I have. So no reason to feel bad and just relax. Also, me and people I envy and I am envied by all have this fear of losing the ability to do the things we love. Remember that. Sustainable lifestyle is also very important. Don't kill by yourself overstressing and overworking too.

I see people who use their potential versus people who don't use their potential and repeat the same mistakes. I see people who think about others versus people who think only about themselves. I see people who are focused on their life and I see people who don't know what to do and how it manifests. I think there are many ways to look at it.

I have this ratio for taking criticism. 90 % of the case I think criticism you get is just a projection of the insecurity of the projector. It maybe contains some truth. You will passively-agressively hear it, just ignore it. I would call this criticism "let me give yoh advice you didn't ask for and I haven't even reflected on or purposely avoid reflecting on it, hence i am projecting to all of you" 9 % of the criticism is somewhat constructive and the person criticizing has some insight about the topic they are criticizing you. You can acctually engage back and forth. 1 % of criticism I take, and reflect. This is good news. I am criticized by somebody who cares about me and is smarter than me. Why I know he is smarter? He lives the lifestyle I want and is far more competent in the field. You can reason with him and he wants to help you. How to acctually deal with it emotionally, there are techniques, but you can direct message me and I will tell you.

Lack of addictive and unhealthy behavior that you know it's bad for you when you do it.

Here's my two cents. Never really got laid, never really tried also. Could have tried harder, few relationships almost fell in my lap, just had to be more physical. I am 27. I still really don't care about it. If I had a habit of drinking, would probably be a father right now. At around 19 discovered spirituality and I was pretty on the idea of enlightenment and it really resonated and forgot that I could live a normal life or whatever it means. Also in a sense my idea of loneliness kinda faded away since I understood that I will die alone. Yes, I feel lonely sometimes, I crave sex and all that. But I can't imagine that being as my dream life. My dream life would be (within my possibilities) is to live healthier, have a practice room near me or live in it, and play instruments after work and otherwise be as minimalistic as I can be. I don't rely on somebody's presence, I don't really share how I am, I just sit quietly to reflect and assume that nobody gives a shit about me. The most happiness I have found this way. There are still some women in my friends group or even work that I could make things work. But they are not interesting enough to what I could make my life than with plans and action that I do already, I guess. And that relationship takes time, effort and energy. She will also want pets, children, to renovate the house, to travel etc. but I am acctully pretty clear in my mind and I want none of that. All I want to do is in my free time is to be creative or to sit quietly (when i feel healthy mentally and physically and then I am out of addictive and procrastinating patterns which I am working on, then I just sit quietly at my lowest points usually). I guess my standards are high, and yet I am not willing to sacrifice a lot. If I will meet somebody then probably trough music.

I am being sarcastic, but in this century, what can't you replace? good luck, hope it works out!