Applegarden8

That is the case even when you don't have severe health problems. I am organizing some nutrition facts and how a really good diet acctually looks like. It's just so different than people eat. + Now I have to spend a lot of energy implementing that. All of that takes a lot of time.

Thank you for this post. All I want to say is that I despise Hasan Piker.

Then we have a MUCH bigger problem and a world ending war to witness.

Yeah, the screaming dilemma. So much to do!

Yes. I am weird. And I love it.

Hahahahaha

Desire to change, projecting what I want consistently and regularly and self-reflection in general. I want to put the accent that it's the combination of both. Something pushed me due to more space of resolved past trauma and pulled me due to established direction and organized action.

Men on average give less fuck, take more risks, make bold moves and are more autistic than to care about ordinary things. I have never met such weird interesting women as I have met totally different men imbalanced in different ways with their own coping mechanisms.

I just want to add the context here. Almost nobody I have met has asked me what do I want and that it's important. That tells me almost nobody does what they want to do. And that is super sad. And that's why you get so much hate when you do pursue what you want. Is that idea of you contemplating on what you want to do is too much to ask really? I would like to ask all of those smug people that who are drown in their ideologies. Do you really not love yourself at least that much? You do not even consider it's possible. And knowing that this has happened to a fellow actualizer it is very sad indeed. Now it's just mainly coping, reflecting, meditating, getting healthier and all that mainly to wait for next lifetime and trying to do bits of pieces of what you actually wanted to do, if you have found a direction.

People say to me, ohh just do this and that. Buy some pets, get married, get a car, get a house, just get an apartment and renovate it, let's s go and travel to some bullshit location every week, let's eat shit and play games today and that today happens too often, yeah. Why don't you have children. Why don't you do X with your life? All of these things take massive amount of time and care. I want to figure what I want to do and spend my time doing it. But a lot of these suggestions sound like, bro I have nothing to do with life, let's fill your free time with all of that too. I feel you bro.

I always start making something just to delete it. This time I started making a map that I will work on once in a while like 2 hours per week, but i will not delete it no matter what, even if i will not finish it and quit making. Great. The idea is simple, you have a regular RTS map with modified Human race with upgrades to scale later in the game and it's like a 8 player defence aginst creeps like 100 of them spawning in different combinations and they get stronger and have more abilities as the game progresses. The cool thing is that their abilities force the player to respond and it's not just who has the most attack damage or hitpoints. These creeps can steal your creeps. Turn them to their side or just nuke them or make them all fall asleep or keep healing themselves so you have to think how to counter them. I want to put an end to the whole computer game saga of my life and just keep going more music and putting more energy into getting healthy and meditation. But I wanted to challenge myself to make a map since most of the custom maps are garbage on wc3 and people like witii (a wc3 streamer plays those shitty maps which blows my mind). And reforged sucks. Blizzard sucks. The end. BTW there is something very funny with giving wc3 AI abilities like wind walk and watching him use them. But yeah I am very clear, what I am doing is what I shouldn't be doing. But I underestand that I can't quit to just transition to having a purposeful life or whatever, it has been my coping strategy for life for like 18 years. But I have had periods where I haven't played at all. But! When I "quit" or change it for a different activity, it goes into the next delusion like over eating, watching the internet, social media and stalking, gossiping, sexuality or the disease of taking life too seriously and being afraid about everything. So my computer game addiction primarily was one of these manifestations of a bigger problem.

Yeah, I feel there is something inherently wrong that I feel emotionally after working 10 hours on Warcraft III editor. It just boring and depressing somehow. But I don't have this feeling when I practice or compose music for extended periods, just more frustration as it is harder mentally somehow. And I feel internally I am wired to do music, but I know it's not the ultimate thing in life to do.

I see potency in my practice, and this happened about a year ago but it's a gradual phebomenon for me. This potency expresses as an invitation to sit longer when I choose to do it which is not often. But I can see myself sitting longer because there is bliss available and it's like the experience pulls you in into more and more intense sielence. I can see myself becoming amphibious meaning that I can act and I am slowly learning how to not act. Will see how it goes, meanwhile I will keep meditating and some form of yoga and contemplation going for myself. You can say it's a breakthrough or asset I have earned just by doing these practices or maybe there are some other past life influences which are expressing now.

Death

Yeah, the most intermediate helpful was doing something like yoga namaskar, sambhavi mahamudra and naddi shuddi daily, since it takes about 20-30 minutes to complete. That gives good lubrication. There are other things I can share privately. The problem is that different things will help at different times. Burnout happens due to lack of bliss and sense of overall health it think. If you manage to nail that, then I think you can change any other area of your life more or less sensibly.

It doesn't matter. This my last lifetime.

Yes, people will have AI chat bots for their entertainment, planning and self-reflection device.

I think you will not get as low as Sadhguru numbers. You really need a lot of things cleaned up in your lifestyle to do that.

If you can't or don't want to put the effort into getting laid, spiritual practice has helped me to the point that I think wether having sex is even worth it. With spiritual practice I mean some form of yoga, tantra, dharana, dhyana paired with vegetarian lifestyle. Dude I quit jerking off like 6 months ago and some aspects of my life really have improved. I care MUCH less about my social value and seeking validation. I will of course sometimes wander in that, however it's not affecting me as much.

Yes, you are right. Unlike the gear youtubers and top musicians trying to sell you Abasi guitar, Horizon Devices distortion and GGD drum vst and bunch of other crap. It's their business that they convince you to buy from them. That's how they do music while you buy their gear and not manage to do music.

Peer pressure is everywhere. Everywhere. To the point it can kill you (and me) if you are in a wrong place and time. Peer pressure and resisting it makes me question what is real freedom. It's scary.

We are in a time where your mental health is very very valuable to you and it will be more with the AI. Besides, you are in a sea of people who are not mentally well and can't or won't guide you because they are not competent enough or "it's not their problem", but every unwell person on this earth really is your and everyone else's problem because it will affect your well-being. And especially when you are becoming a parent, you should have some serious self-reflection under your belt otherwise if you can't cope, do you trust that your children will or the significant other will cope? I feel i am not even qualified yet for that. I don't want to do all of that damage (and I mean that not all was not necessary, but most mental turmoil) I received growing up to another human being. My mother once replied me "somehow you will manage to take care of your children". I understand what this somehow means, and I can't imagine how bad it was for other people.

Hey man, wishing the strength! I am on vacation and I have a lot I would like to do musically. The only problem really what I had was computer games. I have spent a lot of time in there. Even now sometimes I can spent 12 hours without eating to script a warcraft III custom map, but somehow I have to teak breaks or cheese doing music and I only somehow do it while being frustrated. And all of the work I have done in the past 3 years is to get in place to do music. I can't forget that. Music is what I want to do, otherwise I am just always coping after a working day. And about judgemental people. I have a few neighbohrs who judge me for not having what they have or not doing anything. I don't want to have children for example. Somehow their brain just freezes and they can't self reflect, but end up projecting to others. Well, at least I have ability to self-reflect and you have too! It maybe not seem like it but it's all you need to live a wonderful life. You have ability for self-alignment. Otherwise you will be like those judgemental people where it's their routine and entertainment to care and expose whatever gossip to you like a hyena. They have the brain rot not you. You have the ability to enjoy life without anything acctually. Meanwhile they have all these things they supposedly wanted (somebody else told that they should have it) and yet they are sitting and thinking about me who doesn't have it. Strange, isn't it, what does freedom mean then. The most popular insult they will give is that you are idiot/stupid. And my response is why is it bad to be an idiot or stupid? It's not illegal and it's not even. Ad, because you are self-honest. They are just high on ideology which makes them guilty in the entirety of their life. Sorry for my pep talk. Good luck!

Yeah, it was my tranquilizer for a long time to cope with what was happening at the time. BUT! It promotes pretty intense levels of creativity and problem solving, especially in creating games with good mechanics, good stories and way of telling them. There are still good games versus bad games. The problem is they are a coping mechanism. But so is making kids, running a business or whatever the most "purposeful" thing you can think of in the realm of doing and having. It's just that some delusions seem to be better than others or just more popular and accepted in society? Huh...

Up to you, it's just pros and cons at the end of the day. I assume You can embrace and master either, but it requires different approaches and skills.