Applegarden8

I can give you my subjective opinion. But it really really works for me. Frequently I am reflecting and meditating on death and on the fear of death. I underestand that my body is designed to die. I undereatand that death happens to everybody not just somebody else. I underestand I have been afraid of death and I have been re-experiencing various fears including fear of death by journaling it, recalling those fears and other strong emotions associated with it and experiencing them in the same intensity as they happened or just dealing with the feeling of fear you may feel right now is also OK. I would spend like 2 hours per day for that if not the whole day if I would have cancer. Also I would strongly suggest doing shadow work/completion process where you journal traumatic incidents and re-live those emotions. There could be some patterns that make you hate your reproductive organ and think it is not a part of your body of past abuse for example and shame, anger it could create. I am just guessing, but if it triggers you, there has to be some memories and trauma you can relieve yourself and possibly reduce the chances of cancer activity happening in that area. This is not my idea. Even if you don't do this, you have to spend time with death embracing death and coming to terms with it, as we all do, acctually. If you remind yourself that you will die regularly and go trough the emotions and fears created by it, there will be deep peace, acceptance and embrace of the unknown and completion with life. The same effect you can develop by meditating or doing yoga in it's various forms. If you want more info and sources, feel free to DM me.

It's neither right or wrong. It will not solve your internal restlessness and neuroticisms. And I mean by that: the pattern to want something better endlessly; Avoidance of self reflection by relentlessly changing something external; Pattern of jelousy, guilt, dissatisfaction and lethargy created by society parents and spouse and how it manifests in different forms in your life. Sometimes it can help tho, if the partner is abusive, nagging, inducing guilt, cheating, weponizing children or denies you doing something you really want like a hobby or pursuing some form of spirituality. I would divorce such person. But that's me. It's easier for me than to wait for next lifetimes.

Just want to genuinely test your idea in the current political landscape in Russia. (applicable to Tier 2 thinking things and not english) Will you not get penalized, detained for teaching such things as they are not the current narrative and it's actually diametrically opposite to that. Will you have an audience for that? Who would be willing to pay, knowing that Russians will not be able to afford it in mass? Will you not have to teach propaganda (whatever the government requires) also? Will it be safe for you, now and in the long term as the government embraces the idea of "drop everything western" then why would they need English? I know they are two faced etc. and maybe they need it regardless of what they say.

Ok, I will give this a search. Thank you. @integral sure. There are many many more traps to fall into. That is why I think investing in self-reflection, journaling, making the reason why more robust, experiential and clear is vital to not fall in such traps.

Damn, I don't have a very good quality product. I have types of product that I think are good, however nothing that really stands out. And I feel whatever products I have there is something better, so nothing amazing.

Thank you, I want to be smart about it and set up a good foundation, so I have a lot of work to do even to begin.

@Emerald @Leo Gura @Yimpa @puporing Thank you for giving your valuable ideas and insights. Right now as I am refining the content I am going to share, I have some time to think about these topics.

I am making this post since I couldn't find a good source of advice and I have literally nobody to ask, so I became back to this place. I have decided to become a public person. That means I will share pretty vulnerable stuff, mostly musicianship/"how and why to be an artist" related, in a format of video essays that I have contemplated and fermented over a period of time and can be a subject to anybody self-reflection, meaning anything I share has weight to impact somebody listening. And I feel I have something to say, but I am always quiet about it. That means becoming vulnerable to anybody I know personally and on the internet. What is your advice on being a public person, who has some audience who trusts you, how do you deal with attachment to fame and haters and so on? Do you have any good sources on it? I feel that this decision will ultimately benefit me as I see there are people around me that want to enter my life and hear what I have to say. People recognize me in where I live that I live differently and that I do music and they start singing for some reason when they see me. I have received hate for being truly who I am when I show it. I feel I already have that polarizing effect that some people with orders of magnitude larger audience and recognition have, so why not just to open up and really expand. I feel responsibility to share rather to criticize somebody else. I feel the values I hold and my way of explaining or even merely sharing my empirical experience will greatly benefit a handful of people at least. Thank you.

Hello, @Candle. I want to share my testimony. I started to self-arouse when I was almost 18 and stopped at 27. I tried to quit for many years. I have quit watching regular pornography although it never arose me that much. I stopped self-arousing for 11 months now. What are the issues now? When I am asleep I sometimes get wet dreams. When I am half-asleep I find myself thinking about sexual fantasies. The benefits: I find myself not thinking about sex alot, however I still get the triggers a man has when looking at a woman. I have much more freedom from the habitual pattern of thinking about sex randomly. I don't feel guilty about my sexuality, guilty that I fap, guilty that I watched porn, guilty that I had fetishes and so on. I feel my energies are more organized, even if I don't do anything all day. I am more life-positive and I feel good and indifferent around women. Previously I felt immense shame and anxiety for who I am. I feel more confident, spontaneous, spiritual. I find it easier to attempt and change other behaviours in life, since I have changed this aspect of my life. I am more receptive to all the other things a woman can offer and radiate to me and sex is somehow not so important if I would be in a relationship. I underestand and appreciate monkhood more. I feel less desireful for other desires that emerge from quick gratification. There are more benefits from spiritual practice and I tend to want to do more spiritual practice. My life feels more connected in day to day and I can see larger vision instead of it being fragmented. There may be more. But I want to inspire you guys to really persist (not with the aim to control it but to reduce it's meaning) and see the difference. I couldn't give it up with regular meditation practice and my experience with meditation really helped.

Nonono, we didn't guess the correct advice he wants to hear. My bad. Our bad. Doesn't matter if it's rooted in reality or not.

Why did I even come back to this forum... I gave you not just this suggestion. I gave you something that I would my self do, because maybe that's the only best thing IN A WHILE i will get. If you are scared of dying then move to heaven. You may or may not know why the guy got his spleen removed. You didn't see his diagnosis or didn't live his life. That could be one of the options why he got. Are you ready to receive and implement any advice that you are asking? Sounds like being homeless is no big deal to you and you could waste time arguing here at the cost of you being homeless. Then leave the forum, what's the problem? Why to ask at all? "My gut hurts, it must be cancer. It's toxic because I believe it and project it into the rest of my life." Bro you don't know if I will or you will live tomorrow. And a fucking invisible virus can kill you or invisible toxins in your tap water. What are you arguing about? Are you trolling? Ok, search for other things instead of that kiosk, stop wasting time here.

Once again. Please, evaluate the following. Being homeless will ruin your life anyway. Due to lack of hygiene, rodents where you sleep, bad habits like alcohol and drugs if you start coping with them. Bad people on the street who can rob and stab you, policeman and property guards who beat you if you sleep in the wrong public place or property like a store or a bench can ruin your life. No funds for your own personal healthcare and lack of work guarantees for health will ruin your health and definitely mental health. Irregular meals and no choice of your food habits will ruin your life. What if you start smoking yourself because you just give up. Think about this in the contrast of having some kind of autonomy by having your own income, space to reflect and implement something even while working in a "fucked up" environment. I was exposed to a lot of passive smoking, so what, it's really not that bad. Can you get cancer from that, probably, but whataboutism is a waste of time when you need to make choices that can fundementally save you from a lifetime of complete poverty and misery. These are the few bucks you might really need. If you have those bucks, why are you not renting. I can only help you if you are open to be helped. I am again sorry for your situation. Peace. Applegarden.

I have tought quite a bit about getting homeless. Do you have a red cross in your country? You can stay there for some time or for a very low payment, can you? You should look for such options Do you have friends that you can couch surf? Don't be afraid to ask, what do you have to lose, you will find out who your actual friends are. You will have internet access to look for job and some time to look for it. The jobs you found may be toxic, but please, consider taking them. Pollution is not an excuse for gettingva 6 month stable income and finding a apartment to rent. You can survive that. What is the alternative I may ask you? You can substitute that work for something better you may find. But after probation period do you get some health guarantees and stuff? Also I would disown and cut all contact with my family if they did this to you. I would treat them as a stranger if I came out of this situation well. But it's up to you. Also doing bottle deposits and stuff like that is an option to generate some income. Church staff can also guide you. Are there unemployed courses or guarantees people can recieve? I don't wish anybody to have this situation and I have been very fortunate in this regard, however that may change on the second part of my life as I will have literally nobody, but by that time I hope I will be reflecting enough that I don't care wether I am alive or not.

Thanks Leo for the amazing content, you have literally enriched my life in a significant way. Some of the forum members very cool and very helpful. Thank you, guys! @Keryo Koffa @Michael569 @Schizophonia @Zigzag Idiot @Myioko @modmyth @Vipassana @ivankiss And a few more I have known... But... I can't stand a banned user being on the forum wasting their life here and calling it self-development. This user is right. Someone has to stop visiting this place. Let it be me. I found it undemocratic and super annoying, so... This place has it's limits. After that it's just facebook and a lot of words saying nothing. This should not become standard for newcomers of the forum seeing the content of their posts calling Sadhguru stage blue and stuff. Would even Leo agree with that!? What does that sentence even mean? It's not even related to Sadhguru or spiral dynamics, but it just doesn't make sense. Anyway, I don't want to see myself saying what I don't mean and don't meaning what I say. It triggers me and I have to go. I am not that active anymore anyway. BTW, journaling should be a private tool at your disposal. If you want public journaling, read Leo's blog. At least he has some wisdom... Otherwise there is not much substance to what is happening in the journaling section. No point reading anything there. Yes, I care (about the content of the forum new users experience), I am triggered knowing what I know and nobody doing anything about it and the user saying admin/mods know and calling it democratic and its just BS because it devalues your forum Leo. Yes, I am triggered. Because I think we can do better. I will try to do better and treat self-dev and spirituality more seriously and gracefully. Because it's worth not just talking about it but practicing. Peace. Applegarden.

Then leave once for all. All this SD bullshit discussion is about nothing. We are just throwing poop at each other. There is nothing of substance going on...