Applegarden8

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About Applegarden8

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  • Birthday 03/31/1996

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  1. Completion process / shadow work / Nirbaya dhyana / Samskara daghana kriya. Look into any of there. Journal your negative incidents, get to the root of feeling. Feel these emotions as you are in that incident, with that think at the time of incident. Feel those strong emotions until they start to untangle. Helps very much aginst society's conditioning as they will literally never let you feel not guilty for who you are.
  2. Does this involve music also?
  3. I feel you. When it comes to attracting a woman, that's just not how it works with most people. You kinda have to say what they want you to hear, stimulate her lows and highs, touch or kiss her if she is receptive literally ASAP, otherwise she will ignore you. You can be as conscious or as positive as you want. If you have a relationship with her, you still have to guess or know and provide some things that will stimulate her, even denial. And then you can have some of that consciousness or positivity, depending upon a person of course. If the person whom you are with does not believe they can literally be happy without something, how can you convince them if it takes literally years to evolve from that mindset in our current social landscape. All you can do is to accept and adjust if you want. Maybe you will get a bit of returns, or maybe get some more if you are lucky. Wait, that is not all. Of course to attract a woman there is proximity effect, meaning that she might choose the best partner from the people she meets the most like in work or social group. Then you can get away with much more since she is kinda there to get to know you from time to time, maybe running out of options also, so she could be reducing her standards also.
  4. 3 days. Take 3 days and literally do nothing, but eat sleep and contemplate. Then after those 3 days see what sticks to you.
  5. Celibacy is a very technical support system for an individual, if you use it. I feel that it resonates with me. I still am a virgin and I am almost 30. I really don't care about that. I kinda chose that to pursue music and learn to meditate. But it was not an easy choice. Now I have gained momentum and I can always meditate or focus on my life and that desire will come and go. I have some boomer haters who think I am a failed man and that's just not true. What is failed there is their inability to accept themselves and other people as they are bound to induce and project all of that whenever they think of me. I think that is hell. And these people have "so called" everything or are on the way, but somehow they find time to think about me. Maybe I will have relationship, I don't know though. I may still decide that. But either I will get the person I want meaning that there is some quality that I really like about her or I will be alone. I am not willing to compromise.
  6. Life seems to be unfair. While that may be good to teach, they also need a solution to be taught with that. I have found that only spirituality remedies this kind of stuff. The deeper your experience of life the less you will feel that life is unfair, despite your circumstances.
  7. Greetings, people. I want to start with. "Crap! CRAP! I got rejected. What now, I feel pretty terrible." Of course there are different kinds of rejection, however, I will write about rejection from a potential spouse, mostly from a man's perspective. Either you got ghosted or denied in your face. You feel unlikable and the people who you want to associated do not want to be associated with you. There might be good reasons for that, both individualistic and social. I think it's important to consider that woman are usually asked this from men, especially attractive women. But you have to underestand, to help you to not take rejection personally, you have to reflect on this - deciding to invite somebody in your life just by them asking you is not a small thing. Wether you are popular or unpopular or whatever, it's still not a small thing. So the truth is that we are asking for a big thing. That doesn't mean you should feel guilty for asking or feel unworthy. No. But you can get rejected for any reason you will never find, related to you or not related to you even. Underestand that you may be liked or disliked by somebody by the silliest and most trivial or even most counter intuitive or even "bad" things. Just like you deciding to eat healthy and eating junk. So, even if you are on the path of self-actualization and improving your life, even if you have made incredible strides and you literally radiate peace and bliss. You can still be rather undesirable, because you don't have the specific qualities that attract women that you want or women in general. There looks like to be a down-payment or a skill set as man that you have to possess in order to attract a woman. If you don't have it, nobody (almost and I mean women who you want to date won't, but will expect it as a common sense thing from you) really will tell you that there is something wrong with you and what is wrong with you. So here you are, rejected, hopeless, feeling guilty for who you are time and again. What are your options practically? Pick up seems to be the most robust one I have seen. Trying to learn this skill trough hardship, trial and error. The problem with this seems to be, well, how many do I really need? I just need one. But I need to choose wisely. She has to be a specific type. Could you settle for what you can get? How will it affect the rest of your life? What characteristics are critical for having a partner? The logistics and organizing of that is pretty terrible, I get it. And maybe you will never get the thing you want in another person. Another perspective is the last sentence of previous paragraph. We all have this "american dream syndrome". Meaning, I will have this and that and that and then my life will be great. Will it be though? There are a lot of people in the world, who don't even have the basics. If these people are not near, we don't care about them. If these people are near, we pretend they don't exist or we act sympathetic. But somehow in our brain it doesn't connect that this is a human being also with their dreams and desires. And what they have might be very limited. And I am not only talking about beggars. I am talking about the people who don't have what I have or you have. And that could be a lot of things. Then we see that they seem to live differently or their life is compromised or they really need support from others to change something in their life, but our attitude is quite the opposite. We treat these people like trash almost. I have seen this over and over again. I can be that insensitive also, but at least I don’t deny it. Life of an individual is usually a very tight bubble where we assume most people live like us, but I see that it's not true. The life that we live with all it's disfunction, as boring, as tiresome, as lonely, as miserable, with some addictions, things we can't change, and so many things is the life we are living. Life is not a projection of material, social and even personal wellbeing as a social reality to others. It's simply not the truth now. But in that condition you have to seek your happiness. So in this situation I encourage you, the reader, if you can't get laid, if you have the victim mentality, if you didn't get that pleasure and affection from your person, if you constantly feel like somebody is putting in your face that you don't have something or somebody, if you feel displaced, I really underestand and empathize with you. So the solution is to: 1) Find an activity and develop it for a long time, like doing a hobby seriously to increase your involvement and perception of life; 2) Engage in regular spiritual practice. Underestand that you are not just a rat in the rat race of having and not having something. Meditate, do yoga, do the work which may be the most important kind of work you can do. Let it transform your life and dissolve these conditions society puts on you. If you want. I really wish you to find it. I for sure know what's possible already and I will forever practice some form of spirituality as it's that good. 3) Maybe you even consider being a celibate, face the loneliness, shackles of society, face the deep existential crisis now that those other people will anyway have to face later? How would it feel to lose one of your instinct and what will that vacuum be filled with? How could it transform you? Interesting to consider.
  8. Thanks, from my CT scan it's written that a 0.9 cm (fatty type density) lump needs to be taken out from there, but magnetic resonance will show exactly what it is, i suspect it's cholasteoma as it's very popular. I found a reddit group, so I have the support I need. Thank you!
  9. Have you done computer tomography with this problem? Because NOW I do have minor tinnitus. And I also have something in my left ear.
  10. Hello! I will have a surgery in couple of months. Have you had head/behind the skull surgery, ear surgery or mastoidectomy? How the surgery felt? How did you fell asleep, how did you wake up, what was your recovery time? What happened after that? How did it affect other aspects of your health and life overall? Thank you for responses. I don't know what I have yet, magnetic resonance will show me. But that thing needs to be taken out from my middle ear. Peace.
  11. Thanks, went to the doc, she said I need surgery, haha. I have moved, but I have a bad rep in my neighborhood, because I am not a robot and don't have the values they have. So I will always get some of that treatment from some stage blue guy or Karen. In my generation there are significant amount of childless people. The previous generation hates it. I just want to make music until I die, haha. I am glad your quality of life has improved in ways some people can only dream of. Of course I wish that for everyone, but people who have the ability to reflect really can own their own happiness to a great extent, even in crisis.
  12. what Leo could do, most of the people couldn't do, which is why he got so good results. He took some time from working, as I underestood. If I could take time off from working and could practice my instrument daily, granted that I live a healthy lifestyle I would be at least 10x the musician I am now. So it goes for his ability to pick up.
  13. No, it inhibits your awareness. And destroys your health. I have heard in somewhat distant past in India there were a sage who made devi pujas (offerings to grant them siddhis or mystical powers) and this yogi just drink alcohol constantly like water had no effect on his body.
  14. Thank you. However i even got confession from this user, yes, they could have been lying also. Ok I will stop policing others.