Isle of View

You don't see that it is actually us playing you, do you?

@Socrates Hey my friend. What have you just written there? Could you pay some attention to punctuation?

Yes, you are my new destination. In three days you will be enlightened my friend.

Good observation.

You sound like you too attached to this. You should not be giving false advices while you getting upset over these things. Dude Hey my egoless friend. I have no time for your trolling musings. If you have something to say that is of any worth, drop me a PM. At the moment you are just craving for attention, but my time is well spent on people who actually are interested in growth, instead of insulting others to compensate their lack of a meaningful life purpose. Cheers, Chris

Ahahaha... Amen. (Sorry, won't feed your ego any longer. I know how much you enjoy it, but I have no time feeding trolls.)

As I said before, I see what you're doing. But this is the false approach for a forum. Nobody asked you to be their guru. Play your childish game elsewhere. Some people here are seriously interested in genuine exchange. Some want advice. Some want to share insights. All you do is criticising people under the disguise of "support". Whos ego is sick, dude? Get a life.

Hahaha Please, give me more of that. Can you please give me the dirstribution rights for this piece? It's marvelous.

That's actually very visible in your behaviour right now. Sorry to say...

@Socrates Now I see what you are doing. But you're totally on the wrong path my "egoless" friend. Get a life.

@Socrates Hey mate, what happened? Are we being a little bit confrontational today? And what does this mean: Kind regards, Chris

@Extreme Z7 "How Do You Find True Satisfaction In Life?" Very interesting question. I see your struggle. For satisfaction, by definition, it is important that you look on the outside. Satisfaction is object/result/outcome oriented. One of the basics in spirituality is: do not attach to the outcomes. This means, don't make your state of being dependent on the outside, apparent circumstances. Or: don't regard outside cues as a dictate for your attitude. This is not to say that you shouldn't work in the direction of mastery. (With this I mean mastering your craft, your art, your life.) It just means, that when you "grow" spiritually, you will find a "place" or "state" from where it is obvious to you, that no matter what you do, how masterful you become, you can always take it higher. That's the moment where you realize that the ultimate freedom is not inherent in the mastery of the outside, but that what you do on the outside is only the catalyst for your inner work and growth. There is no perfection in this realm (physical world). You can always take it a little bit higher. And there is nothing bad about it. Take it as high as you can. Put your heart and your mind into your craft and the outcomes. Master it. But don't make your inner well being dependent on the appearance of your results. Be the rider, not the horse. Master the horse. Build a relationship with it. Keep it calm, train it, teach it some tricks. Go for a race. And another one. You're the rider. Your spiritual work is to go trough several stages of development or emergence. Your craft, and its development, is another work alltogether. ~Chris

Well actually I think I want to be kind, not to appear kind. Because it just feels good to me to be kind and to help people. Thank you. Here some good definitions of being kind. Be kind. Don't try to be kind to get approval. They'll spot it and will think you are in the need to compensate something or other. Still contemplate on the above questions. What is it that you're after? If kindness is realized, would you still care what people will think? I mean if it's part of your beingness, not something that you "need/want to be". :-) ~Chris

First of all, why do you want to appear kind? How does it help you? How do you think to help others when you are kind? Or: Why do you want that people actually see you as a kind person? How would it help you? And, to really unlock your belief system: What does kindness represent to you? Is there a connotation of weakness in your definition of kindness? Don't answer right away. Take your time. Contemplate on the above questions. Kind regards, Chris

@foninja One more thing. Do it in a place where you are undisturbed and where you won't disturb another. It's good to use sheets of paper, so you will write down what you run. In a session more then one urge or phrase can come up, so it's good to have it all written down, so you can follow them up as you go. ~Chris

Foninja, there is a very good way to deal with these urges, IF you have a specific urge, phrase or attitude that comes up without your invitation (involuntary). When you become aware of an out-of-control, involuntary urge, find a place where you are undisturbed. Repeat the urge over and over again. You will have some insights when you do it long enough. Maybe you will start laughing at yourself. But the important thing here is, you will bring the thing that was out-of-control before unto your volitional control, no more the effect of it. Repeat over and over long enough. Try in different moods. It's important that you come as near to the original urge as possible while you repeat it voluntarily. If you run the process with a phrase, like "You're all stupid *whatevers*", repeat it over and over again in different moods. You will feel relief very soon. Maybe now a slightly different phrasing of the urge pops into your mind. Take this new phrase and repeat it over and over again. Take time. Don't stop until you feel relieved and in control over the urge. Different past situations can flash in your mind. Great. Keep on repeating, but not as a mantra, really repeat it or utter it in approximatly the same way you do when it comes up without your invitation. Earlier times where you used the utterance will come to view, maybe other persons will come to view who uttered it will come to view. Just keep on going. You will have some realizations and finally you will feel relief and you will know that you're done. Sometimes a part of the urge is your body language and facial expression. Don't just utter the words, come as close as possible to "how it actually is when it is used". So use body language and facial expression when you repeat the phrase. Have fun. Let me know of results when you run it. ~Chris

@foninja can stem from malnutrition. Check your diet. ~Chris

Yes, of course. But also, you can have such a screwd up operating definition of ego that everything will amount to suffering. I see it frequently coming up on this forum. In the physical realm, playing the game of life, there is no way around the "ego". There is nothing bad about the ego as long as you know that it is a part of this realm. ~Chris

@Hardik jain You can use this process. But use it exactly as described for a period of time. http://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/1222-my-problem-when-doing-contemplation/#comment-12454 (starting by 0. "Decide that you want to release some accumulated resistance.") It's a simple process, but you will need to initially force yourself to start it. Kind regards, Chris

I see, that's why I said. I understand that. But there is one thing I would like to share with you: as lots of your attention is locked in this relationship, finding ways to actually relieve the situation will help you progress personally. A different way to say that, in this situation you are far more than only "you". You are the whole situation and you don't like that your attention is pulled in there. Is that right? Here is a simple process you can run yourself to regain lots of insight into the situation. Ask: "What part of this situation with my brother am I willing to be responsible for?" "What part of this situation with my brother would I rather not be responsible for?" Use sheets of paper and ask both questions repetetivly, over and over again. You will find new insights and will see your position in it and also to what lenghts you are willing to go. Maybe also insights come up how you have added to the situation as it is today. No worries, just keep on running the process until you really have good insight and feel reliefed. After that you could also use another process I shared some time ago here: http://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/2199-maslows-pyramid-feels-lonely/#comment-21298 You can let me know about progress here or via PN if you like. Kind regards, Chris

@Philip I had some good laughs about your honesty in this thread!

Good, important thread. Thanks @Philip. If the advice is too high to the recipient, he can't grasp it. That's plain simple. Differnece in frequency. We all know this friend who gives advice only to look wise instead of really being of any help. Is it enlightened? Cheers, Chris

@Will I do empathise, of course i want the best for them. but i also realise its there own path.. Is that what you mean?? You wrote initially: That's what my post, or a large part of it, was based on. ?? Not sure what you mean here.. In your OP (opening post) you asked for our perspective. This shows me that you are not really satisfied with that wich emerged (came about) between you and the family member you talked to. (i.e. their bewilderment et al.) ~Chris

@Will regarding your OP. When we grow spiritually all kinds of disharmonies and non-necessities will become obvious to us. You need to learn to accept and deal accordingly with the craziness of what you encounter from the realm of your newly found clarity. Clarity without empathy can be a very deadly mix, as you have seen when your family members got bewildered by your suggestions. Realize (or keep in mind) that they don't see what you see from the position from where they look at things. Of course it's your good right to act like that -- if you're willing to face up to and experience the consequences of your expression. But the fact that you're asking here for perspectives shows me that you really are not that comfortable with what has just emerged between you and the other family member. I hope this is of some use... ~Chris

@Leo Gura Agree, and also happiness is a part of our native state as beings. When we grow up we get programmed and indoctrinated into the concept of lack. That's where the struggle for happiness begins. Whereas all we would need to do is unveil the programming and indoctrination (or transcend it) in order to reclaim our natural ability to be happy, as well as to emanate love and understanding. There is really no way to happiness. The only thing that needs to be "done" is seeing through the veils of indoctrination and obstructive agreement. It can be quite a process. For some it can take a very long time. Some are so dependend on outside confirmation and validation that they'll not even start, let alone reclaim what is truly theirs. ~Chris