RMQualtrough

You will find I personally backtrack nowhere. I think Idealism is the most logical guess. I would never say it is proven, it is really crazy to take a theory as absolute fact. It is impossible to prove Idealism for the same reason Materialism is unproveable. If it was proveable that the idea was right, there would be no debates at all. All scientists would agree with it and it would just be accepted by everyone. In either case I also do not think objective truth matters much... Just ask someone who hammers that subjective experience is irrelevant to go stick their hand in a hornet's nest. After all pain isn't real right?! They won't. Why? Because it fkn hurts! But then for some reason, when it comes to things other than physical pain, everyone suddenly dismisses subjective experience.

It is insane to be 100% certain in the idea, since it is a theory. I happen to think it's correct and I absolutely do not believe in objective morals or meaning. I am content with subjective ones. But I wouldn't kill myself for the main reason that this is literally a theory. It is not proven and it actually never COULD be for various reasons. I also wouldn't jump to my death because of many other things... But first and foremost it is clearly just a theory. A belief. If you have to sort of pull your punches then you are not really communicating what you think and might as well say nothing at all. Talk would have to be confined to secret covens or something where a few gather. I think in nonduality people make too big of a deal about there being no such things as X or Y or Z. There is objective reality and subjective reality. Leo replied to me recently describing the subjective feeling on a deep trip. That subjective feeling is different from what he would say is the objective truth. So you can see there is two sides of the coin. There is the subjective reality of being "myself" and the objective one of "being God". This is why I like Kashmir Shaivism. Identical idea but presents subjective things as real. Or Dzogchen.

@Display_Name Why would a person want that beyond a brief experience or realization? Does that mean they are in the ego death type state all the time?

Then what would be the point of it if you have to just lie or skirt around the truth? The first truth is that the philosophy does mean that nothing objectively matters if it's true. The other truth is that this is JUST A THEORY. It is insane to just leap to your death on the back of a theory. It makes no sense at all to be 100% certain. Lack of objective meaning or morals is a view a lot of people have, even completely irrespective of any spiritual belief, but people generally are not killing people or themselves because of it, largely. Not being able to die is the only novel one.

The toad is my prophet and I seek the words of its messengers. I legit think it contains the answers to reality... Bufo is God's only prophet. If only it could speak.

There aren't really good enough words in the English language, but I am using awareness to mean literally JUST awareness. And consciousness to mean how we experience it as humans. That would be anything on top like a thought or feeling or even self awareness. Awareness by literal dictionary definition, is not a thing but more like a state of being. Thing A either has knowledge of thing B (in which case it is AWARE of it) or it doesn't. There is no in between. If something is not absolutely 100% unaware of a something else, then it has to be "aware" to some degree. Really there is no "degree" because to give a degree is always defining awareness PLUS something-else. E.g. to humans when people are seriously injured and out of it, we might call them "semi conscious" because we are using the strength of the human faculties which are still online to determine how conscious someone is. But it does not mean the actual awareness in and of itself is altered. Consciousness is. Not that. Awareness NEVER EVER EVER changes. EVER. Only what appears TO it. An insect has awareness, the only difference between us and an insect is that different things are appearing to the "I". To the insect that might be very simple consciousness that can determine where food is and reproduce. For us it is much more complex. But the awareness in both must be 100% identical in nature. Because awareness when conscious experience is taken away is irreducible. Indivisible. You can't break it down into something smaller. It either IS aware or isn't.

Wtf. Sad to hear... There is a strange logic which could take hold if a person 100% believes in this idea. Sort of like how you might expect a Christian to kill themselves because they believe a paradise infinitely better than this awaits. Some followers of Islam in fact DO do that. The thing is that we cannot know definitively that we are right. I can prove nonduality is more logical than materialism, but not that it is right. There is also no reason to die: In nonduality it is an inescapable infinite existence. So dying would do nothing at all. A person cannot experience a conscious death as that would require their self to still exist and be around. Consciousness may be infinite and eternal but a person will not have an "experience" of death. The self will only experience the final moment of its life. It ought to be made clear to prevent anything more like this. All we all have is a belief, at the end of the day.

@Vynce You will probably like my playlist. I have N'to and WorakIs on it. Lyricless electronic music really is perfect for acid. And Elrow's tracks are perfect for MDMA (they perform in Ibiza).

I STRONGLY recommend not using DMT with music. But for more recreational psychedelics like LSD, the following is my own personal playlist that I always used. You will find almost no lyrics https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4mmymcSbsDRpsB4iTs62ob?si=7dvTFY4uQD2hgwhXGUWgbw&utm_source=copy-link

@Breakingthewall My thoughts also. I think the God of the Bible type afterlife is much easier argued against by someone who has had mystical experiences, as opposed to an Atheist materialist type. Frankly I consider the idea of my self going to heaven to live eternally with loved ones DISPROVEN. I legit consider it disproven. Absolutely implausible and nonsensical. When I was much younger, when I'd read the DMT Nexus, I was always shocked that the people there were Atheists and stating there is no afterlife etc. To me it sounded crazy that someone could go through such things and come out feeling there is no God. I felt it must mean the drug trips are obviously false to them. Many years later when I used these substances I finally understood why that is, and more importantly WHY they are completely okay with it.

That is a thing which shows human nature very well! And how we automatically war with anyone on the "other team". If it was nondualists vs materialists, we would suddenly all feel a strong brotherhood and work together. If it was humans vs aliens, worldwide racism would go extinct immediately. That is a random musing that I often think of. Sibling vs sibling, household vs household, street vs street, city vs city, country vs country, species vs species, Earth vs the planet Xenon.

Have no fear! Upon death the "self" will automatically skip to enlightenment WELL BEYOND any living thing including Buddha, or contemporary teachers like Leo, has or could ever achieve. It is awaiting us all! In fact we have no say in the matter! In life we will always exist with ego else we could not function at all. It would be literally impossible to survive.

If every single person realized what was up, the cosmic game would end. Y'know, with those who actually believe in Eastern religious fables it surprises me when the followers of that faith wish for everyone to wake up. For example, I think in some Hindu traditions, God (us) had "Maya" built because he was lonely. If they believe that then to destroy Maya is to destroy the very purpose of the thing! I think it is just that us humans have developed an ego to an UNHEALTHY level. That does not bother me personally as idc about spiritual growth etc. but it is probably more so that humans ought to have an ego no bigger than a cat or dog. But I'm glad the practical joke of separation exists! "I know! They actually don't know they're us!"

@Dazgwny On LSD I had a similar sensation but I envisioned honeycombs for some reason. It didn't make sense of why, but I was picturing the structure growing out with more honeycombs. One of the things I recall from that trip was that I was very interested in memories then. I remembered a scenario from high school, and it interested me greatly that this memory was MY memory. The room and characters like movie props I am using to reconstruct this particular event. And then I considered that the other characters in that moment likely have their OWN memories of that moment where I am one of those set pieces. Then I considered how every single interaction with a person will permanently add to the honeycomb. Saying hello to a person 10 years ago, now you have created a point in their life where your structures collided and that will ALWAYS be there in time somewhere. It's not insightful or nondual but I found that very fascinating.

I am done with my drug use but when I was exploring these things, I documented this experience on 5 hits of acid and DMT. This trip is the sole reason I changed my philosophical views from a normal Agnostic Materialist type viewpoint to Advaita Vedanta. I now know the LSD dose was 460ug not 410ug (EC test on Reddit). http://www.thepsychedelicexperience.org/2020/05/16/410ug-lsd-nn-dmt-breakthrough-visited-heaven-full-spiritual-religious-experience/ This is still the strongest experience I have ever had in my entire life full stop. I have not wrote many of my experiences there and have not updated the site in a very long time. I was addicted to psychedelics for a time so in the span of a year I probably have well over 50 DMT trips and over 100 in total with any psych. This was the most intense.

These trips were less frightening to me than solo DMT, despite the increased intensity, because LSD dissociates me. I am more ballsy on LSD than when stone sober. The second time I did this combo was on 5 hits of acid and I had a strong experience of what I called Nirvana, after which I cried. I also cried on the following days when remembering the headspace etc. I remember on that go, it occurred to me afterwards that a murderer and lifelong monk are 100% equivalent when they reach "there". It seemed absurd to me to spend a lifetime meditating and such because a random criminal junkie will be equal to you upon total ego death. The "monkness" of the monk is completely evaporated. The "murdererness" of the murderer is completely evaporated. And what is left it is all the same... Spirituality is useful for LIFE but will not mean anything upon death whatsoever. Nothing AT ALL. Upon death we are all 1000000% identical. Hitler and the Pope are identical upon death. At the time I wrote that trip here: http://www.thepsychedelicexperience.org/2020/05/16/410ug-lsd-nn-dmt-breakthrough-visited-heaven-full-spiritual-religious-experience/ This trip turned me """religious""" in the Eastern sense, I discovered Advaita Vedanta through this. I had no spiritual belief prior... A lot is missing from that writeup. I have a more intricate one somewhere. And this was the 4 tab experience: http://www.thepsychedelicexperience.org/2020/05/01/328ug-lsd-30mg-nn-dmt-definite-breakthrough/ I now know each tab was 10ug higher than I thought (EC tested on Reddit), so it's actually 460 and 368ug LSD respectively.

In my experience, DMT when smoked has intense amnesia properties. It is nearly impossible to come back and really remember anything but a few key moments. I found that when using DMT on top of high doses of acid, the experiences were extremely sensical. One tab has little impact but 4, 5 or 6 seems to. I remember both of my trips with DMT on acid from beginning to end. All of it. In precise detail. They have also been my most profound trips. I will not be using drugs anymore but when I did I found this to combat the typical "1000mph mindrape" n,n-DMT trip. Instead I would have an intense experience but be fully alert throughout. There were no entities on these trips beyond perceived ones (and one with eyes open). The shift was starkly different and the trips were much more metaphysical as the main theme. The increased recall might be due to LSD increasing brain activity.

@Consilience A shame that the English language never bothered to create enough words for I and self etc. There are many I's, which do I mean? The ego I, the awareness I? Who knows... Which self? The external physical body self, the mind self? This causes immense issues when trying to explain anything regarding these sorts of matters.

Language is the best tool if your goal is to explain yourself to the majority populace. Even a 2 year old is curious about the universe, but only a tiny % of the world gives a f*** about spirituality or self improvement. The only issue I have with language is that it becomes semantic wars. Zen Buddhism, Advaita Vedanta, Dzogchen, Western Idealism, Kashmir Shaivism... These are all the same ideas arguing eternally over the use of words and technicalities. What is the point? There is one core truth. How person A conceptualizes it vs person B, why does it even really matter? And when people do use words, those obsessed with talking in only nondual terminology just confuse normal people. The best method to convey your belief to a normal average Joe at the pub, is to use dualistic terms alllll the way to the end zone, and then once you get them there pull the rug away. I just call myself Idealist to avoid the confines of any specific philosophy's dogmas.

What is love, is it in da skies? No it's a feeling deep inside. Because I'm hungry.- No you're lonely! I can see it in your eyes. ... But really what is meant by love. When I asked Leo if he meant the emotion he said certainly not. So what is meant by it?

In our reality-bubble I don't think so. In some other reality-bubble I am sure of it. But in those reality bubbles it would not be seen as supernatural. Our conscious is supernatural but people are willing to just accept it as natural, that you shock some matter with electric and magically it appears, because we know 100% it exists. The same would surely happen if a reality bubble allowed ghosts to exist. It'd just be like "well duh it's not supernatural it's just ___". Ghosts here are not plausible to me. A ghost is an ego with form. The direct "mystical experience" destroys your ego and form. They're incompatible with each other... Same with the afterlife as people generally imagine it being in paradise with the egos of their relatives for eternity.

Almost all Eastern religions are Atheist philosophies. The Abrahamic God is not impossible in them but irrelevant, so not even really considered. I do not believe at all that sins matter or anything like that. In fact I am almost certain the typical "heaven forever with relatives" afterlife is basically impossible. It seems easier for people with Eastern type beliefs to disprove it than it is for materialst Atheists, because the direct experience of ego death etc. is completely contrary to Abrahamic promises... How does the form-having ego me exist forever in paradise when it cannot even survive a drug trip? I think what we all are, which you can call "God" (and I have myself) if you want, is a "True Neutral". On death, you or I are equal to Hitler. This I can basically prove to you I think, because awareness itself is a binary. Some Buddhists etc. set a point in the Bardo which a person cannot come back from. So beyond that the other parts of the Bardo are just Abrahamic type feel-good guesswork.

ALL experience exists. Love exists, fear exists, anxiety exists; even emotions possessed by no human being which only exist in other creatures, exist. Leo exists, France exists, Johnny Bravo exists. "I" experiences "being Leo". That is an experience. Whether it is imaginary does not matter. The person who types to you now, although "I" experiences both of us, it is impossible for you to see from my eyes and write a response back to me here describing my bedroom in detail. It's impossible. Because the experience of you exists, and "I" is experiencing it.

There are two things that can mean me/you. If it is referring to what we both truly and actually are at our very core, then that thing is 100% identical proveably... If you put my awareness and yours side by side, when all elements of human consciousness are removed, there would be NO difference. I think they are literally one thing and thus not even separated. So it's like, do you think it is "YOUR" awareness or do you think you belong to IT. I think it is the latter. I see us all as puppets "I" is playing with. All of the things we feel like emotions, thoughts, a sense of self, that is because we "are" the puppet. So when we converse it is puppet to puppet. We are different puppets. Sort of like how two leaves on a tree are different and unique and yet both literally ARE the tree and hence one thing. But if we were to converse "true self to true self" it is a conversation to nobody but our own self.

Here is what I am curious of... The subjective side of the experience of death. From the subjective PoV is it basically Atheism? I imagine it like when a character disappears in a dream... Where do they go, or return to, or reincarnate as? You see that is sounds silly because there is no reason they return to anything. They just cease to be. Because they never existed. At the exact point of death, I don't expect myself to, for example, feel myself return to the source then come back out as another creature or w.e... I expect it will be exactly like my experience of you right now, that is, I cannot subjectively as this self magically look through your eyes and then write here what you are looking at. This would not be a possible feat. If the "I" continues but little-I never knows it and experiences only oblivion, does it matter? Hm...