RMQualtrough

Just send them to the suicide subreddit. Sometimes people in that condition will not go to see a professional, and the Samaritans etc you know are BSing you with a script. Do you know who was one of the most successful suicide hotline workers of all time. No joke... Ted Bundy. Lmao. People aren't stupid. They don't want to know someone is just saying empty words that aren't actually true because the script tells them to. Sometimes online communities like on Reddit are more accessible to people in trouble.

No it is quite untrue. I am a Narcissist but am the opposite of manipulating and hurting people for personal gain. And evidently as you see I am aware of being this way. It obv varies person to person. I would be an unfit parent though.

Have you read up on Kashmir Shaivism? I find this the most accessible. It is more obscure than Advaita Vedanta. All nondual philosophies are essentially identical except in how they present things... In Shaivism they will say not that everything is illusion, but that everything is real, just that it is all "that". So in dream logic they'd say all the characters in the dream are real. Nothing is imaginary. Just it is all made of the dreamer inside of the dreamer exactly like a dream. Different semantics same meaning. Certainly it is hard to draw any distinction or line between what is real and what is not. We can agree on what is ULTIMATELY real, that is "the Source", Brahman, God, I, many such terms... How you define the appeaeances to it is down to semantics. I personally freely flip between them as it suits understanding. If explaining it to an outsider I will use full dualistic terminology with metaphors until the very end then rug pull to nonduality. I've explained it to average Joe friends this way.

What you have mentioned here is the element of nonduality which interests me most. The fact of subjective individuation. Leo in the past I saw theorized that this was because in infinity it must include these perspectives. I found that very clever. I wonder if he has changed his theory on that since then? I've theorised on it a lot myself. I came to a conclusion that it might not be our selves locked into this being that exists, but rather an """experience of me""". I used a metaphor of electricity running through two hard drives where the electricity represents awareness. The hard drives when the electricity experiences them, is experienced as separate "selves" because the hard drives are only recording information relating to their own self. Hard drive 1 cannot read hard drive 2'a data, even though awareness (electricity) is experiencing both simultaneously... Then from there switch to dream logic: The experiencer is the dreamer and the hard drives are the characters. But same function. That is my current theory.

I am of the opinion that a person who does this is already struggling. And as you know people drawn to these sorts of things are probably more likely to be struggling mentally, hence seeking an escape. If I wanted to shortcut to liberation and didn't care about death at all I'd do a fat dose of 5-MeO-DMT. Maybe every day even if I was THAT serious that I'd kill myself. Leaping to my death makes no sense to me. It seems to defeat the purpose otherwise... You get into self development to improve your life. Suicide is the opposite way lol. I don't think it is right when Buddhists just label existence suffering. I am under no illusion that a great deal of people find some contentment in their lives. I really think this is likely a person who found a way to feel okay and fine about a decision that they probably wanted to make before finding such communities to begin with.

There is actually a tribe who DOGMATICALLY believe that when they die they go to another plane of existence that is far greater. Sounds like normal religions but they DOGMATICALLY believe it and there are no guardrails. No "suicide prevents heaven" etc. This tribe has not gone extinct, and the people do not just randomly suicide, but they do suicide when slight issues arise in their life. Sam Harris discussed these people before I think.

Whenever there is an experience, something experiences it. Find the thing that experiences it. It is purported in these philosophies that nothing TRULY exists other than that. That is everything that ever was and will be. Everything else is basically a product of that inside of that. Terms vary on what it is, I've heard the explanations and I find the dogma over the distinctions irrelevant. Some will label Brahman, or God, or I. In meditating religions they don't like to use I because I is a concept/thought and when meditating, whenever the thought of "I" arises you're creating a subject/object split: The thought I, and what experiences the I. This technicality to me is pointless and needlessly confusing. It is funny that the elaborate words and discussion and infinite threads will almost make you think you are looking for something outside of yourself. When actually it is literally the most basic element of what you are. You are conscious right now as we speak. That is the thing you are trying to isolate.

This to me is really the only plausible thing. Nobody could believe when Robin Williams hanged himself, that is usually the case... I cannot accept a person just jumping off a bridge like this. It makes no sense at all. I don't think the Buddha chucked himself off a bridge, Maharshi hasn't chucked himself off a bridge. It doesn't seem the done thing outside of cultural influence. I have strong conviction this was essentially an excuse to end an existence perceived as unpleasant in some way or another. If this was the end result of spiritual belief, every guru like the Buddha etc would be committing suicide.

I'm of the curious type, not into spiritual development. If I wanted to use them for actual development, I'd say I have found n,n-DMT very good at its best but very much a dice roll. The effects are VERY unpredictable. I have many many trips on DMT and I have found various distinct places it can take you. I will ignore the visual element because that is not important for what you seek... But for example it was rather a dice roll as to whether I would get a nondual experience with little visuals, or "feel like a clown" or weird disturbing things, or have a trip similar to Salvia. If it was directly after a trip I could more accurately describe the weird headspace and what's happening. On only a few occasions did I experience a more typical DMT trip but it was still 100 mph. What I found is that higher doses of LSD combined with DMT was able to skip over that mind-rape and stupid jester shit. There weren't really entities then it was more of a headspace shift. I do not plan on using them again. Three times DMT has replicated a Salvia trip. Two of the times were good trips (I get on well with Salvia). The last had me rolling around out of control yelling and having flashbacks unable to sleep for a week. I've used Salvia many times, so I'm used to those trips, and the last one I had on DMT was like a bad version of that. That is the dice roll... There is also a possibility that you will be unable to let go at all, because sometimes like Salvia it might be the case that you don't even know you are tripping etc. and don't know any of your life, you then run on pure instinct... 5-MeO-DMT sounds more dangerous and mentally severe, but also 10x more sober in the trip. I have not heard a person experience that Salvia type of mind-rape on 5-MeO-DMT so much. But on DMT and even LSD I have felt similar vibes.

A shame we don't usually use i lowercase so that I uppercase could be distinguished like self vs Self. It confuses me greatly when people get too technical and absolutist with meditation stuff, it stops making sense. Words are how humans convey things... For example Swami Whatshisname who does the Advaita talks in New York has a fantastic way of teaching via language and metaphors and stories which can easily be understood by all. Also the guy who wrote I think it was "What Am I?" (or "Who"). Their names are complicated so I forget the spellings. But also that is another person I found is able to convey things very well. And there's a monk on YouTube also, not sure if it's his channel or just videos of him. You'd know his face if posted though. Again a man able to get things across easily. I've heard people talk on Dzogchen. I've also been able to follow them often with what they are saying... But many people are so into using the right words that the message no longer makes sense to me.

Salvia Divinorum did not reproduce the no-self effect for me as deeply as the combination of being really stoned on cannabis then hitting a large amount of DMT. On that combination I recall now that I literally had no idea that humans ever existed. By no idea I mean truly, I did not even try to remember what a human is because I didn't even know such a thing existed. I did not know that I had EVER not been where I was at that time or that I ever had a name. I WAS a worm, always had been, and I had always existed in this neon green tunnel which I moved through. There was no possibility to be scared and I did not focus on the trip or what was happening, because I had NO IDEA that this was unusual at all. It was like you are a human now but really you're a space alien and soon you will be back in your alien self. We have no idea what's happening now is abnormal so we feel it is mundane. Same thing. A curious experience but ultimately uninsightful. If you don't even know that you ought to be paying attention to what's happening then you will simply miss it all.

I feel quite certain this is wrong and due to obsession with objectivity over subjectivity. The only thing about you that is identical to others is the observer. Absolutist truths do not matter. Awareness itself does not feel pain or ANYTHING it only OBSERVES it. This is one of very few things a person can, I think, outright prove. But will the cessation of Tucker cause sensations of pain to arise which subjective selves will perceive and be hurt by? Absolutely. You would not think that sawing off your leg won't hurt, you wouldn't do it regardless of any objective/absolutist belief. Because once you start cutting there is no denying that there is an unpleasant experience. The subjective truth is that we are selves. If that were not subjectively true there would be no conversation between us right now. The objevtive truth is that the experience of pain can exist. The subjective truth is that your end will cause "selves" to experience pain.

Wow really? I heard it is basically the "haunted house version of n,n-DMT". Did not realize it was this intense. It is as far as I know much physically safer than 5-MeO. For a solo tripper it might be a better option. In the UK it is not legal and frankly impossible to locate (research chems being low demand).

Elements of these experiences are immune to what you are talking about because they can literally be known with 100% certainty. For example, you cannot say with certainty that the Earth is not a CUBE. But if I ask you "are you conscious?" you will answer definitively yes. You could not be convinced otherwise. Because it is factually knowable. These experiences simply strip away every layer that exists on top of what is your consciousness. I have not used 5-MeO-DMT, but have used n,n MANY times. N,n is a bit misleading because it comes with visuals and such which are not possible to definitively state are real in the same way I can say for sure that awareness is real. It is odd that some of the patterns etc. are mathematically perfect. That might point at math being involved in some way for how the brain processes certain data... But largely it will be just an experience of your own self... The relative sensation of it is also more accurate, the normal sense of a consciousness conforming to the boundaries of our body is proveably false... The Default Mode Network which gets downshifted on these substances is largely responsible for such illusions.

It seems rather pointless to get into something for the purpose of self improvement, then kill that self as a result of said improvement. Rather counterintuitive. There is not enough emphasis put on relative existence, which leads to psychosis-tier mental derangement. When someone loses sight of relative experience, you only need to tell them to go let a bunch of bees sting them for fun, or have them watch a movie or read a book while repeating "this is all fake" throughout. People love getting lost in fantasy like with fiction books or films or TV shows. Why then do they refuse to get lost in actual life?

I cannot really accept that is the sole motive. Especially in modern times it is rare to think this way since the world is more secular, so generally people only end up with such philosophical outlooks because of freak chance first hand experience, or because they are mentally unwell and looking for answers wherever they can get them. A lot of people who seek "enlightenment" are probably trying to escape some mental turmoil, so you will find more mentally ill people than usual on these places. I do not understand this practice as a way to escape suffering. It makes no sense to me. You are killing ego to end suffering? Blowing your brains out will "end suffering" too. These options suck... Total ego death is essentially death as experienced. You cannot live like that every day. You cannot lead an entire life preparing for death. Really human ego ought to merely be turned down a bit at most, like a volume knob to a level of something like the strength of ego found in a cat or dog. Subjectively humans like stories and illusions. We get sucked into fantasy land within minutes of a movie starting. Nobody watches a film thinking "IT'S NOT REAL" throughout, because it ruins the movie. Why do that for life?

@Ora Why would you want it to last? I would say MDMA is more enjoyable and seems to do the opposite (bolster the ego). MDMA makes external reality hyper-real. Psychedelics make Mind hyper-real. I absolutely cannot understand that anyone would ever want to remain in ego death etc. You cannot live that way. Anyway, I found LSD and mushroom analogues uncover very real parts of your subconscious mind. You are not one "self", you are more like a board of directors. On 4-AcO-DMT specifically I experienced a mental split and had numerous thought threads running simultaneously... It was very confusing because I could not differentiate memories from the present very easily. LSD can be more recreational. DMT is not recreational. It's too severe. And I would not even have the courage to touch 5-MeO-DMT. Maybe "babby" tier amounts at most. It fascinates me to no end, but DMT traumatized me the last time I used it. The appeal of 5-MeO is that I doubt there is any Salvia-tier mind rape, but still it sounds too much.

@Terell Kirby Nihilism ought not to be seen as a negative. I think that is down to objective vs subjective again. In actual fact Nihilism is very freeing and positive, as opposed to something like a dictatorship where a higher power is imposing rules and such on us, and we have to do X, Y or Z to have lived a meaningful existence. Just a perspective change... Put more emphasis on subjectivity and a lot of the oddities like existential crisis is less likely. Why not kill myself? Because I feel happy and content. The objective truth matters no more than if someone advised you go stick your hand in a bee hive. Does it really matter the absolute reality of the thing?

How would you best describe what it is, if not "Brahman" etc?

If the now is all there is, how could anything NOT be the now? I think the flickbook is already written from start to end. Every page of it exists at once. Flicking the pages makes the character "animated", but the entire flickbook already exists all at once. There's no objective past or future. It's kind of BS word games because we have an experience that there is a passage of time. But you see that when harping on semantics it doesn't make sense to say anything isn't happening now.

Don't get it. So God is not "Brahman"? It is not awareness without attribute?

This is true. I have suffered bouts of derealization and also very briefly existential crisis. Often accompanied with thoughts like "I don't want to know anymore!" Remember the Russian woman in the Crystal Skull Indiana Jones movie? Knowing is not necessarily a good thing.

@Dodo If you were sober and seeing things which aren't there and thinking you are Jesus being attacked by dark forces, I would suggest looking into the possibility of schizophrenia. There's an actual easy at home test for schiz, involving sipping soda while making a certain facial expression. Connor stops believing he is an alien etc. once he is given antipsychotics. If dark forces are causing you distress, something like Seroquel might make them vanish.

He also says he is a 5th dimensional alien lifeform, that he is the literal second coming of Christ, and all sorts. Have you even seen how unhinged and ill he is? He has been sectioned for psychosis already.

I've never cared about the path, this is merely intellectual to me. It's a philosophy I adopted after psychedelic use and then subsequent logical consideration. I do genuinely and truly believe it is most logically accurate, and have had mystical experiences, but my interest ends at understanding. I think others go the other way round... I became nondual because I had experience which pointed to it and I became curious. I had no choice but to believe what I do... Others instead look for a "path" to improve their lives or w.e. and believe the things in the same way someone may believe a religion... I did not even know what nonduality was until I searched "monist religions" after a DMT trip. Connor is intensely mentally ill. He claims to have been taken hostage by the government. Not even one claim he ever makes is trustworthy, and if he did do some wack shit, then oh well we all know he is literally crazy. Someone mentally balanced like Leo does not go on camera shoving his hand in wasp nests. That is madman stuff.