RMQualtrough

As I understand presently... "I" is literally nothing. All something is perception. The union of the two is like an encompassing of both nothing and something. I can't find a fitting term. The term God seems to imply something I can't fit to that for some reason. Not sure why but I feel like God has to be the "I" part of the union.

Psychedelics changed me but didn't make me more mentally well. My struggles are much the same. I don't have like a serious mental illness, but typical struggles.

I am feeling sad. It is not something other than I having the experience of being sad. And the experience of being sad is not an experience of something other than being sad. I might be feeling happiness simultaneously (some other human, relative-sense speaking), but I am indeed feeling sadness...

Don't touch this shit. I know what it can do. If you still want to use despite adverse warning, you're probably the right type of person to try them. With the heavy duty psychedelics you may do everything right and just..... A severe panic attack on DMT is just....... I genuinely fear being dead less because if I'm dead I can't experience "that".

Change happens, emotions happen, dreams happen. Where people draw the line between what is real and unreal is pretty damn arbitrary... The only thing we all seem to say is certainly real is "I". Which is ironic because "I" is literal NOTHINGNESS and only known via somethingness like peering into a mirror...

This is obviously impossible to discuss. I is the only I there is, perceptions are the only "things" (in the way we think of things - objects) there are... The subject and object interplay and unconscious reality, how can it even be discussed? Can't say time is real but how can it be said to be unreal? Can't say consciousness is a thing but also can't say it doesn't exist... And then the totality of both? Not totally sure it can be called God as that implies a specific something without including the nothing. The container of something and nothing. Wtf is that? No words...

Process of elimination maybe? Don't know how it works but you can reach certainty through negation of any alternative possibility.

Literally true also, without needing to think about material survival. Nothingness cannot be experienced = no experience = "death". Total nonduality cannot be experienced, just as to see a dream you must seem to be inside the dream = no experience possible = "death".

Nahhhh, people aren't real and neither is the self.

I think it can be known. You can easily see and explain how and why there aren't "things" out there as things. It's quite blatant actually, since any attempt at describing a thing will always invoke either perception or abstraction (abstraction would mean like a mathematical formula). Things as literal things = infinite regress. Impossible to say what the thing IS in and of itself. Nothingness = no regress, no questions.

I had the realizations, sometimes things were different. But then after a while nothing changed. Infinity doesn't seem to be able to comprehend itself. Rupert Spira has said things which make great sense of why. Recently I had a serious and very severe trip with a megadose of DMT out of an electronic dab rig. The dose was so big because my friend kept fucking it up so we kept adding more until he gave up and I hit it... Well I had a severe, severe, severe panic attack. Screaming. Crying. I didn't care about death as that's not an experience, I was scared of the experience. Which I cannot explain. Period. Nothing. I think there's great expanse to this... As Leo has said, infinity also expands outwards. The "experience" of total Oneness appears easier to comprehend, as opposed to, for example, Salvia Divinorum extract.

I would say anything under 100% (such as the fact of existence) is an assumption no matter what.

Tbh I would just smoke 5-MeO if anything and be done with it period. Using other substances in large amounts hoping for a 5-MeO type experience, it's completely unpredictable at that point. There is nothing insightful about smoking 80x Salvia except in very rare cases. Dab rigging like 50mg DMT in a bong hit is entering danger territory. You won't physically die but what happens may legitimately be worse than being dead. 5-MeO-DMT seems terrifying and serious but in a different way. It seems very rare that anyone gets mindraped beyond the death-blow. The fear seems purely based around TOTAL ego death and of course the severity and impact of the loss of boundary... But what doesn't seem to happen is the twisted fucked up carnival madness ride that can happen with Salvia extract or high doses of DMT etc. I will absolutely not ever dab big amounts of n,n-DMT again. Never. Ever. That's straight up it. I have been having flashbacks and nightmares. Not my first trauma with the stuff but this was even worse, as I was crying and yelling and I literally could not put a single word to what was happening. Infinity etc yes we all get that, but there was other mindrape stuff happening and I genuinely have NO word to put to even one part of that. I could not possibly tell you what the visuals were, not even that it was insane geometry etc. I have no way of conveying it. I could not tell you what I was thinking, or what was happening AT ALL. Yes I come back and I am okay now. It doesn't matter. I'm not touching it again. It's done. I fear death less because I realize it won't be that.

Dude it is straight up an assumption lmfao. It's even an assumption that if you drop something it will fall. These are called extremely well educated guesses. If something's happened 10000 times before, to think it will again is a VERY safe bet in many cases. But it is an assumption to at least some degree. Always.

I've used DMT so many times. I had a traumatic trip some months ago. I just used it again, and I'm fully done with it now. Luckily I had a friend with me this time. It's all fun and games in cartoon land seeing elves and colors etc. People think that's the trip. It's easy to envision infinity as a concept, but you don't necessarily want to experience it. A human is not meant to experience it. Have you seen those giant waterslides where the floor drops out from under you and you just hurtle down? As humans we are standing and living happily in ignorance standing on those trap doors. If you go far enough with hard psychedelics, a trap door you didn't even know was there can fall away. And you find yourself at the mercy of a completely terrifyingly open boundless timeless spaceless infinity. You aren't a human anymore, you are infinity expressing itself through a human. And that can manifest through you as screaming, crying, begging, thrashing, terror, etc. I was crying without control during this trip just now. I was completely at the mercy of infinity (which I was) which was expressing through me. I've definitely used DMT around 100 times or more. Don't think that once you've had a breakthrough it's as strong as it gets. You are playing with infinity... The bottom of the rabbithole can be known yes, everything = nothing. No distinction. Absolute. God. Yes... This can be known and found. But don't forget that the nothing includes everything, and everything means that the range of your conscious experience can extend outwards. Meaning any experience a human can have can be dialed up to absolute max. The most fear a human can ever feel. Or the most joy. Or the most wonder. Anything... It's boundless and infinite. I put away the dab rig and that's it. I don't have any desire to ever touch this ever again. Yes it helped on low doses, but the way it can go is just....... You think you can "let go" but the concept of letting go relies upon a person to let go. If there is no person there is no such thing, just the total mercy of infinity wherever it decides to take you.

I was terrified, but I mean I wasn't scared for my life or self. I genuinely can't describe what was happening. It was like a tiny paper sailboat in a storm in the ocean... Like Salvia, just total loss of ALL faculties. At the total mercy of this. The happening was truly indescribable. I can't even say zippers or 2D or whatever. The trap door did open and there was boundlessness. But like Salvia something was happening in conjunction. Totally incomprehensible. My empty puppet vessel was just completely raw, infinity seeing itself through this puppet, and what it saw caused itself great distress. It alone never feels fear or resistance. But remember infinity includes everything, it's the only thing, so fear and resistance and humans ARE it. So if a human feels fear, infinity is feeling fear because it is the human, the scary trigger, and the fear emotion. It's all of this. I am it, the emotions and trip were it, etc... So infinity through me felt utter terror and expressed, through me, yelling, crying, and begging at the witnessing of itself. Me the person was just an empty puppet vessel.

It's not. They're wrong. I'm not sure if you've used Salvia before, but if people think every psychedelic experience is magical and wonderful if you just surrender, give them a big bong hit of Salvia extract. Personally my Salvia trips were cool so there is a chance they will be fine with it. But if they're one of the majority who react badly to the substance, they will understand these things aren't all rainbows and butterflies, where any negativity is simply because the person wasn't as Zen as them. It's just not the case.

No honestly it was beyond anything like this. I can't verbalize it but it was beyond something like this, in the same way that during a Salvia trip you don't just surrender your ego and wonderful things happen. It's just cosmic horror. I can't really describe what happened except the loss of boundary. I wasn't scared for my self or of death... On Salvia you can describe zippers and 2D and repetition and other such things. This scope was wider, and I genuinely can't describe what was happening beyond the loss of boundary.

@Godishere Just experienced this myself. I've used DMT a LOTTTT. People forget the implications of infinity. After I came back enough, I put the dab rig away with my friend and I will truly never touch this substance again. I felt like God agreeing with himself to hide the truth away with a little handshake to never speak of it again.

This type of divine knowledge and even naturally-attained human experiences of the divine differ from the experiential element of whatever these compounds do. The ultimate divine truth can be found naturally, but experience can also extend outwards infinitely. As anyone here will know, some things cannot be adequately verbalized, only experienced. Leo is a calm person, he said with psychedelics he has had one near panic attack. What do you suppose the absolute maximum amount of panic and terror a person can feel is like? Imagine a terror where you are not afraid of death. You aren't begging for your life or medical help, you don't care about that, you're begging and crying because of infinity. Or more accurately you are gone and infinity is begging and crying through you because of the power of itself.

If you stop suffering, others still are. But ofc they're you. So yeah you can't get out of it.

I'm quite sure it refers to what things are when perception doesn't take place. There's no form at all. And ofc when perception happens a "thing" can appear in infinite ways because of the fact it is inherently nothing.

Well nothing of the self at all is carried forward. As in there's as much you in you as there was in a Brontosaurus millions of years ago, and as much as is in me right now as we speak...

This didn't make sense to me before. It's often explained poorly. l'm certain all miscommunication and misunderstanding is from mixing Absolute and Relative around.

It's mental masturbation, but fun mental masturbation. We are all going to die. The enlightenment of the human self is hence, of course, inevitable. And when it happens no part of the human is even there anymore so your lifelong pursuit for spiritual development no longer means anything.