RMQualtrough

It's fake like water dowsing. Don't pay anything for astrology stuff.

I don't understand, because even with total removal of the self I was able to identify with the absolute void, such that I felt to be a void observing "me" and other things. But it was like identifying with that void as a true "Self". However, other experiences merged self with other, I don't remember if there was voidness to that. But if the two experiences were merged, I presume there'd be the appearances by themselves with no sense of "being" a void seeing it. I think that is probably the accurate truth, I think that is probably total awakening.

The top two images is when a person views reality via the illusion of the notion of a "self" or ego. The cycle of death and rebirth exists if you identify with the ego, just like how you literally believed you were a music track, you would think you die when that track ends and the next one begins. The bottom image is my attempt at demonstrating the reality of the situation. The cycle of death and rebirth is "escaped" because you understand there is no you which ever existed to live or die, and instead there is only reality ALONE, which is infinite and undivided. Self illuminating in the way that awareness knows awareness. It stands alone by itself. When you hear a sound, the sound exists but is not heard by anybody, there's no you present. The sound rings out self luminous as a modulation of awareness itself.

There is a difference between the nothingness of ego which I have certainly experienced, and what I am pondering about whether even the viewpoint which is "the void" can be eliminated. When I became void and nothing, there was still a viewpoint. I was nothing such that my ego became an appearance in front of me just like a vision was, ALL forms were in fact. But I was this nothingness. And I wonder if maybe I am not even a "nothingness" observing objects which includes my self, but literally just the observed objects which are sort of observing themselves and entirely alone in the same way the Sun illuminates itself. No God or I or self or any of this.

What I was attempting to do with the before and after death thing, is show that the ego can change completely yet the reality remains. Death would just be like a nametag rolling over and a new ego being built from scratch. If a person identifies with an ego self, then when that falls away as all impermanent things do, there is a "cycle" of death and birth because egos are constantly ending and beginning. And then at the bottom I am trying to show what I think may be happening, which is that, basically, you were never a being viewing the world, but the viewed world itself which is known unto itself without observation. And that is what was ACTUALLY always happening.

@The0Self I smoked a small amount of Salvia a year or so back and I could feel the pins and needles place it was pulling me into, the same thing for me. DMT completely changed over long term usage, it does something now that I can't face or describe. Flushed it all.

I'm starting to really think it's the latter, that there is no self-ness even to that void. That the existence we see unfolding is one and self illuminating... The experience of Sunyata was still a dual experience, despite the fact I became nothing (without any question or delusion), there was still a point of view which was nothingness. Even though any aspect of me was just something happening to that point of view... But I wonder if it's more like a mixture of that voidness experience, as well as typical DMT ego death where self and other becomes intermingled. I think it might just be happening with no self even as nothing. Difficult to explain the idea of something like a sound ringing out unto itself if you see what I mean.

Yes I know but it's difficult to interpret, as I have directly experienced Sunyata (being myself void), but I can't then tell if I exist as nothing, or if there's just straight up no self period.

What if there's no-one PERIOD? It's difficult to interpret wtf is going on sometimes.

Yes you're not understanding what awareness of absence entails. Time is not experienced in absence for one.

@Salvijus I know what he means, YouTube Rupert Spira deep sleep, and he explains in much more depth. I also have his books.

@Salvijus It is absolutely what he meant. 100%. He talks about it a lot in his videos about deep sleep.

Rupert means that the gap between being put under and waking is not experienced, thus you just experience counting to 10 (the anaesthetist tells you to do this) then waking in the recovery room. Continuous uninterrupted awareness.

A sound doesn't possess awareness, awareness has sounds. Awareness is the sole "substance" in reality and its isolated nature is that it is nothing (emptiness, Sunyata). All things are simply modulations of the only awareness that is. They are all self luminous like awareness. They do not have their own ego selves or points of view, they are constructed from pure awareness (void), and just as awareness is self illuminating, so too are these constructions. It's like the qualia appears but to nobody. There can be many many things happening at once. I have my own thoughts on that as I'm not sure there are ever multiple things happening at once, or if all happenings (like a sight and sound) conglomerate to produce one singular unit of self luminous happening. In other words if I play some Toto while looking at the Eiffel Tower, and play the same track while looking at something else, I think the "happening" I speak of might be different... I suspect the music is not separate or distinct from any other happening. I think we may just categorize things as sound or color unfairly, when actually the difference between a C note on a piano, and the color red, is no more different than the color red and the color blue. We apply the categories of color and sound.

Uhm no not that my ego is reborn, but that reality continues after my death via other egos etc. Just like how a music track ends and another one begins. If you identified the self as a music track, you die when that single track ends. But when a track ends music continues to happen. It's just a different track. But you can also understand that there never was a self at all, there is ONLY the appearing sunset by itself. No "you" viewing it. That is what I mean in the bottom photo. That the you part of the entire equation is simply not present at all. There is just the sunset which is self luminous as awareness itself.

That's the thing, there is no "my" awareness or "your" awareness, or "God's" awareness. These are all possessive terms. There is awareness. All things which are, are modulations of that same substance. There is nothing more to a sound but the qualia of the sound, which like awareness is self luminous like how awareness knows awareness. Leo did not explain this well in his video on this matter IMO. But I don't know if I can either... When you speak of the self you are talking about Sunyata, you mean the void right? And you are thinking the void observes the forms it produces. Try: The forms are made OF the void (which is pure awareness), and the observing OF those forms is one and the same thing as the form itself. Closest way I can word it currently, is to indeed imagine sounds hear themselves. Because we only get duality. But there isn't a sound that hears itself, just the sound PERIOD. Do you get it? A sound is self luminous, when it falls back into void (what empty awareness is) another form may arise like a sight, and that sight too is self luminous. Remove the notion of the self, even as void, and experience the self luminous singular undivided reality where reality knows itself without anything separate from it. See picture below... From the ego perspective there is a cycle of life and death. When you recognize there is no segmented off you entity, and rather you are literally reality itself, you realize there is no self to die or be born. You are reality. Infinite, eternal, undivided.

Do you believe in duality? If there is only awareness, then you see that what knows awareness exists is awareness itself. As such awareness is self luminous, in the same way as the Sun is illuminated by the Sun. If awareness is the sole thing in existence, then sounds are made of awareness, and as we know awareness is self luminous. The sound knows itself and is by itself. Existence knows itself. SO, when saying I or self or God, it is taking what illuminates itself and adding a non-existent entity onto that equation. E.g. rather than the sound illuminating itself in the same way awareness knows awareness, there is something "else" illuminating it like a God or self or I. The moment there is an "else" there is a divide and finitude. The self and I are, themselves like sounds and sunsets, just appearances by themselves known to themselves. All in totality there is just existence. Period. No me in existence. But existence by itself knowing itself, completely alone, no God, no I, none of that beyond appearance. Which is why you can never die, by the way, because you aren't a finite being in reality, you are reality itself. The you element is like all appearances, a mirage.

It seems to me, that "awareness" is something self illuminating. I.e. what knows awareness is itself awareness. If all things which exist are made of that same "substance" which is awareness, then they are merely modulations of awareness which share the self luminosity. Such that the sound does hear itself. Or moreso, reality as a whole is by itself, to itself, known to itself. No God bullshit in the mix, no self, no I, which is exactly why you are eternal and invincible because you are reality itself and not a being observing it. I could phrase that as reality experiencing itself. However, I have seen many people say the void is "not an experience" and I hope someone can explain that element.

Not sure I understand but would certainly like to, is there another way of phrasing it?

I tripped in a dream. Strange happening. A family member popped out of the wheat and argued with me so I decided to go my own way. As I walked away on the wheat field, it became completely infinite such that no matter how far I travelled or where I went, I was always just crawling around on this neverending wheat field. I then broke down crying in joy as I realized there is only the wheat field and the wheat field ALONE. I had some odd thoughts in the dream which I don't quite remember, but involved infinity necessarily being nothing, meaning I could never actually move away from the rooster even if it appeared I was. An example was the attempt to imagine looking at infinite transparency, and how to be perceived as something it must necessarily be limited by the mind adding a black or white backdrop. Something infinite is nothing and imperceptible so although I looked to be moving away from the rooster in actuality I was merely fixed in nothingness. Later in the dream (maybe a different one after falling back asleep) I was on a game show where we had the chance to completely swap out our ego. It showed past events in my history (a fake character, not this me) and showed how the character mourns over those bad past events because it believes it had or is having them... After a very fucking weird bit where a hooker injected liquid in my dick that made me incontinent and shit myself for life (what the actual fuck), I yelled out that I don't want this life anymore, though I had 2 kids and some other stuff like being a successful businessman. Instantly I was back in the game show place and my name tag rolled over and became a new name, everyone cheered, and I was this new person. I then realized the whole hooker bit was a simulation to test if I want to keep my current self or swap it to a new one. The new self still had the medical issues but it felt like "that's just how it's always been", and when shown past events of myself with the old ego crying, I did not feel emotional anymore because I did not identify that character or event as me. It was like watching a doppelganger being tortured instead. Interestingly, the moment I was back at the game show and my tag rolled over, I felt so much relief, and felt anxious about how bad it would have been if I had decided to keep my original ego and squander this chance to be born anew. I'll probably fall back asleep now. But did not want to forget. Fucking weird man.

Why is it not an experience? Can it not just be a self-luminous experience in that it's happening unto itself, with no self in the equation?

So, like a modulation of a single thing? Like sticking a pole in a stream and seeing it split in two? Awareness being the substance, and appearances being the forms built from that substance.

Meds. Now.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=M5QGkOGZubQ

Reparations LOL.