RMQualtrough

I'd like to dream that I have a better hobby than this. Fml.

Change is what the mirages do. The nothingness doesn't budge or change a bit. It's always identical...

The backdrop never goes anywhere but that contains no element of selfness at all... The self entity is very much like a TV show, scenes change all the time. The scenes are like the self. And only the memory and ego provide a continuous string from one scene to the next... When the string is cut there isn't any self that remains in tact as the scenes change. You are still present, but you see that the changing scenes are more like a mask on top of what you really are. Srs.

There is nothing. Do you understand that? ALL things are changing and finite. Something remains though. The thing that remains is nothing. See the difference between this moment and the next, the vision is different, the audio is different, even if only a bit. The input from a moment prior is gone. But one single thing stays stable in all of these. It's the ONLY thing that doesn't ever change or go away. Then see if you can find the difference between your awareness itself and that one sole unchanging element. And see what that unchanging thing is.......

Leo isn't here. It's kind of frightening to see, it reminds me of uhm... When you are in so deep but still "with it", everything becomes trivial, meaningless, so your face just completely drops. You don't care about emoting anymore and don't feel the need. Something much beyond is happening. It's like "the game's over, the fun is over now. It's ended"... And you're just left a husk as everything that matters stops mattering and stops meaning anything whatsoever, and the human there just has this sort of... Almost anxious expression. Like very mild concern at what is unfolding... The eyes glossing over is why it looks that way, glossed still from the insanity that came just before. Feels weird to see this third person.

You just have to get used to it. And don't burn it. I coughed very bad initially. Just try your best to hold it down. You can close your mouth and your body just tries to cough on repeat like a frog or some shit.

Probably toad. Toad can't distort what it is with words, toad just does what toad does. An experience is nothing but itself. n,n-DMT is the only one I know. Fuck this shit. Tbh I need a better hobby, I don't even use drugs anymore.

Lol'd. Some people WANT to follow a cult, WANT to be in a cult and have someone to worship. Even if Leo doesn't want this, some people are using him like the Messiah because they NEED that in their lives. When the self help crowd realizes their self help coaches are scammers, they end up trying to find someone else to blindly follow.

The term "experience" is such a Grade A bullshit red herring. So is consciousness. I wonder if people in the East are raised with an understanding of that term where if you say "what do you have in common with a rock?" They're like "consciousness DUH". Obviously in the West that is not how we understand things. Never fucking ever, man, in seriously seriously fucked up psychedelic states, was it like "oh it's all consciousness bro". I come out of it conceptualizing in a different manner: "I rejoined the sheet of existence", "we are existence itself", "they (other people) are us (the sheet of existence)". I am sure there is some major difference in the understanding of these words in the West and I think to a Westerner, consciousness and experience is only understood by dual language. We understand the all as "existence itself" not as "consciousness".

Plz explain. Do you mean because ideas are conceptual while what you are discussing is experiential? E.g. "rollercoasterality" where every facet of riding a rollercoaster is explained in depth, will itself never be the act of riding the rollercoaster? Cheers

Half the forum have """awakenings""" by watching Leo videos. It annoys me because these same mofos advise people like me to take hardcore drugs and say "dw bro the fear is just ego, surrender to death", while the most fucked up they've ever been in their entire life is from a couple pints of Foster's at the local pub. Pisses me off let me tell you... It's easy to just copy Leo's words like how people blindly follow Self Help gurus and sit there stone sober, sippin' Bacardi Breezers while telling other people to vaporize toad venom.

If the only thing that really existed was paper, how could anything ever exist which is made of something other than paper? Duh... "Subjective" experience and "objective" matter are made of the same exact thing. It's literally that basic. Earlier today I was really deep in thought. I'm an extreme introvert so it happens... There was a baby seagull walking around near me. And there was something about it that struck me as so mind-bending. Because obviously the seagull is, essentially, just reality itself, the universe (insert your favorite term), being deformed into a certain shape. And obviously it is completely impossible that it is actually disconnected from that, or that I am, and that fundamentally it is guaranteed we are both just deformities within reality itself... Like folds on a piece of paper. The paper is the only thing. And yet it is able to seem, through the creasing of ONE single reality which is just existence itself, that there are somehow multiple discreet entities, which are 100% independent and separate. This is not only some experientially verifiable thing, and that is one of the reasons my most major DMT trip really stuck, because it was also a logical inevitability, that there can't be anything outside of the "all" so to speak... It is a logical certainty... And it bent my mind watching this seagull, trying to comprehend how exactly a single thing (reality itself) is able to so rigidly separate itself like this. And how it is able to seemingly confine itself like this, as people and as seagulls, and as you and me, and so on. When separation is an actual impossibility.

I had dreams of smoking DMT, I had already used it before and WASN'T lucid. It worked though which is interesting, because I can't willingly induce that state while awake.

Well sort of. Like we share the same moment, although not necessarily the same exact nanosecond or wording etc. E.g. some thoughts come after some sort of intangible thing. There's like a wordless sense and then I guess our mind does some slick processing and spits out a word. Like if I say what do you want to drink, it's not INSTANTLY "coffee", there's an intangible wordless moment there where you are I guess weighing up different options... So say we're both watching a movie, and a character on screen says something. Maybe it triggers in me that feeling which leads to the thought of an inside joke we both share. And I can tell you are thinking about that joke too in that moment. I'm not saying necessarily the moment happens at the EXACT same second, btw. It's not real communication but just becoming so aligned that our thoughts begin to also align. And I wonder if, if you were SOOOOO insanely aligned with another, the same thoughts would arise in you both for more prolonged periods or even permanently... Assuming equivalent genes and environment etc which is not likely to ever be achieved, but you see what I mean.

@Eph75 What is true telepathy? Take a real spoken out loud conversation vs simply predicting a person's thoughts. If there is no idea of "choosing" at play, so the idea you're choosing to say a word is BS, what then is the difference between the words appearing by prediction? That's why I was discussing "true" telepathy, as I think the typical idea of it is BS. Maybe it is genuinely just having the same thoughts at the same moment. Not like a mobile phone "incoming call from X" lol. Think of the characters you speak to in a dream. We think their spoken word is external when in truth..........

Well look, lots of people (most I think) have wonderful experiences. For me it was often panic attack inducing... I even had PTSD symptoms (so now even smoking the tiniest amount causes a panic attack as my mind thinks it's going back into that)... But I'm here now and I'm okay. Worst case scenario is that you freak the fuck out then come back down. But if you increment gradually, this freakout is not going to happen. Also notice I am posting here. Why? I don't give a FUCK about spirituality. I don't care about it AT ALL and NEVER have. I don't care about being zen or escaping suffering. But because of the intense drug trips, I have no choice. My mind still constantly ruminates over what happened and I spent time almost every day having deep existential thoughts. I can't see life in the same way anymore. It's not a bad thing per sè, it's more like arthritis or tinnitus, it's just something that slightly bugs me which I can't get rid of. There are worse problems to have. And if you are actually into spirituality your mind may be that way inclined and you won't be taken away from your current mindset. I was very egoic and material minded and was comfortable that way. But yeah.

This is how I did it also. I was also less afraid to smoke it when I was already very high on large doses of LSD, and I had the strongest experiences like that, by using in tandem. I can't recommend this drug OP. But, if you do it as this guy explained, you're not going to be overwhelmed. 5 mg isn't so scary now is it? Just feels like you're walking on clouds. Then what about 10? 15? Etc. Build up and you aren't going to terrify yourself with unexpected results... Many things come on fast, like nitrous for example.

Watch, if you jump right now, in the next moment you will be in the air and the next you will be falling back down. There is actually nothing to you except this exact moment and whatever the content of that moment is. Just imagine that you literally have no ability to form ANY memory whatsoever. And what that would be like. Where would there be any sense of continuation? Just a series of constantly coming into being and then immediately vanishing into the next moment of being. That is what karma and rebirth means. It's about how each moment relates to each other.

You know, I think when people who have never tripped read people say like "it was an eternity" or "seemed like years", they imagine this in literal linear time. Like people are literally living 10 years linearly. Imagine, you could add like a billion years onto your human self life like that lol.

Linear time only exists in appearances. There isn't actually a past and a futur. Like how a movie progresses even though the screen is absolutely and completely static. We can have an idea of linear time and measure linear time in the appearances. But it isn't actually there. That is very DMT trip, when it's not entities but just shifting shapes.

Dude this is mega cope... Leo will tell you himself that you don't end life with some reward for your years of meditation. It amounts to nothing. Hitler = Jesus. Jesus = Satan. There isn't really a person A and person B. Person A and B are the masks on top of and made from the all there is. Wave back into the ocean...

There is no element of your lifelong spiritual practices remaining in strong ego death. All of it is gone. Srs. You can't get there if elements of your self remain. I recall that aspect. I wrote it in very full detail just after the fact: A monk can't get "there" if any element of the monk remains. The monkness of the monk has to fall away. And when these shells crack and fall off, nothing you ever did mattered because all of it has fallen away. You don't get to keep your progress or life achievements. When appearances are seen through, everything is identical. Such that there is absolutely no difference between Hitler and Jesus and Buddha, because Hitler Jesus and Buddha have gone away. Every element of them is gone.

Children are free and unburdened by mental illnesses (usually). I know coz I had similar thoughts many times. Particularly one time where I innocently began to wonder about "I" and if everybody's is the same. I was 14 then.

"Listen, it's really crazy." Fkin lol. Here's the thing. Mike Tyson is a top tier boxer and athlete (gifted genes physically, his body is able to take a lot of abuse without dying)... He also had an enormous ego... Tyson probably went right in with the highest dose anyone has ever taken. And his body is so gifted in fitness terms that it could survive what would certainly kill you or I or Leo. I'm certain that's what happened.

Buddha wasted his time. We are wasting our time. Spirituality is a waste of time. There's also no such thing as a waste of time but still... Even the most egoic, sociopathic person, is inevitably ending up the same way. Everything does. When you are dead, none of your life's spiritual achievements matter. None of them. And you are then exactly and precisely equal to Hitler. When ego death happens, you are immediately equal to Hitler. Nothing you ever did ever mattered. How could it? And I wrote immediately after tripping that hard the same thing. That there is no point in these practices whatsoever, because when the ego is gone, everyone and everything is exactly and precisely equal. You and Hitler and every person who spent their lives indulging in materialistic pursuits. There is NO FUCKING REWARD. Even those people are the same as you in ego death. Yes, literally. No, your life's work meditating won't mean you are different or superior to them.