RMQualtrough

What human vessel is there?

@Tristan12 Tbh it's always pleasant to read messages like this. I felt faint again at the supermarkets. It came over me again. I became only slightly nervous about falling down dead because I thought that nothing changes if I die as there isn't really any person here to die, but I did think I was about to just fall down dead.

I'm tired of people missing and encouraging obvious schizophrenia. Pisses me off when it's thus blatant and not one person is suggesting mental help. Don't fill the guy's head with further distress.

Fuck I'm in bed alone, terrified. What the FUCK is this? I died. Lol. I died and existence continued exactly the same, what the FUCK. How the FUCK am I the world and not a being viewing it? How tf is this possible?... Yeah I got all the "we are one", but wtf is THIS. Idno what to do even, I'm just panicking again rn man. I'm not even afraid, just panicking. I seriously think I might faint not even joking. My chest feels really light and weird like butterflies. I used to collapse like this in biology class. Ffs. Undo button, undo button, undo button. I'm not ready for this, not remotely. I'm not a spiritual person. I never wanted "awakening" just to know the answer out of curiosity, and now I'm fucked. Sorry for rambling it's just panic. I need to find something to do instead of lying in bed in silence with my thoughts.

Dude it's not experiencing, there is literally just red, just music. Not experienced by anyone, or anything, or even itself. It's not consciousness. It's just that, there...... Look uh, sketch a stick figure looking at a plant. Now just cross out the stick figure. Just the plant. That's it. All of this trickery is caused by the sense of location. That is precisely and exactly how "duality" is created. Like if you take K and think you're on the ceiling but you're on the ground. The trick is exactly the same, what "is" is just sensed as being "over there" and BY IMPLICATION we then feel a sense of centre that is back and away from what is... Like, see how you can't imagine any image as being anything other than in front of you? That's the magic trick. That is literally how it's done... The fake sense of centre gives us a sense of a beingness away from and apart from the object. It's not there. It literally does not exist. There's just that. It's not consciousness, it's not you, it's just fucking red, or music. It's not experience or experiencing. It's just reality... Just what is... Like WTF man? This is seriously fucked and weird. Honestly it's FUCKED, why the FUCK are people seeking that instead of dumping it into the ocean? I distracted myself with DIY earlier but I almost fainted like when my bio teacher would discuss the heart (collapsed twice in class from that lol). Now I'm trying to discuss it without falling back into it.

Telepathy of sorts does happen, but not like where you can think really hard and read minds from across the country or whatever. But like, I only have a tiny group of friends, I prefer this. One friend I message with every single day for many hours, for almost 10 years. Say we are watching a movie together, I already know at many points what he's about to say. Like inside jokes, I know when he's about to reference it. That's probably what real telepathy is. Maybe if you become SO aligned with someone, you can tell what they are thinking more and more often. And maybe you could become SO aligned that you basically always know.

"Maya", or duality, is created by projecting the center of an appearance into some kind of spatial plane. That's literally all it is. Ever done K (recreationally-ish)? Know how it might feel like you're on the ceiling when you're lying on the ground? The mind is doing this exact same parlor trick. The sense of "over there-ness" is part of mere appearance, see that as soon as you create a sense of something being "over there" it causes the sense of a center or beingness outside of that something "over there". But there isn't actually anything back where you think there is a little being, it's a false sense. That is EXACTLY how the "cosmic prank" is being pulled. Well, now you know the secret.....

Would it be good or bad? It seems that telling kids they don't exist, would be kinda psychotic and drive children mad. And if it clicked, and they realized that there is no them in the equation of reality at all, they might not bother to study the sciences and we wouldn't have sikk air con and dishwashers or medications and stuff. However, it's the rug pull that is probably what causes total freakouts on 5 and n,n. If I smoked some of that good shit right now I know you'd have a screaming crying guy here begging for help... Because it just doesn't make sense... Salvia does similar, creates an infinite brain loop because your mind can't process the image at all, and you just laugh like a psycho as a result... DMT takes you out of the equation of reality. And it is too foreign and bizarre to see that there is an image without anyone seeing it... Because we have been taught to believe that the substance of reality is something other than just "what is"... It is too shocking and incomprehensible for a Westerner to grow into adulthood, then discover that qualia is the reality. When we think it can only possibly exist in the presence of a mind observing it. This leads to panic surrounding matters of death.

Well wouldn't that be swell... Probably not possible since like, before Medieval times even... What you're talking about is closer to tribal life... And let me tell you those motherfuckers are dancing around smiling despite gloves of ants stinging them.

Christianity offers people a apparently spiritual worldview when it is simply stretching materialism into some fictitious heaven, hell, Jesus BULLSHIT. It gives people not only a self but a literal one, a literal "soul". Wtf are they going to do when they see that literally, there was never any such thing as "seeing red", or "smelling flowers", but just "red", and "scent of flowers". It's incomprehensibly strange, impossible, jarring, and terrifying. Nobody expects it because we spend like 20 years + falling deeper into the belief there is a person here.

Maybe stop using drugs, this sounds like you went into psychosis and/or suffer from schizophrenia? I've not used drugs in about 9 months. And it was some time before then. Really glad I stopped. I was smoking DMT several times a week and I am stuck with daily ruminations over the trips.

I think I can help you... I have very serious Social Anxiety Disorder, I've had that for over a decade... As the post from the other dude that I quoted above, there's a large element of self acceptance involved. As a very socially anxious person, there's something in accepting who I am even when I'm weird AF, rather than feeling shame or judging myself, that is exceptionally helpful. I used to hyperventilate and "manual walk". I haven't "manual walked" in years. It has always been much worse to try fighting against the disorder, vs building myself a life around it. A lot of people are like "oh man work on yourself, fix yourself bro"; I actually found that approach less effective at improving my quality of life. The fact is that I've realized, and you might be the same, I am VERY introverted and I LIKE to be alone, a LOT. I don't actually WANT to be close to other people, I literally do not want it. Another thing that was pointed out to me, you might just be different... You definitely are "different" to be on a forum, a spiritual forum at that, with a cartoon avatar, etc. And because of this, you don't connect with other people. People might not be connecting with you because you simply have NOTHING in common... And I definitely noticed that in myself lately too. Fact is I'm majorly geeky but too un-geeky for actual geeks, and most people fit into pretty narrow categories.

So true. It's funny though, because I don't actually want a relationship etc, so when I actually let myself think "nothing matters", that means I don't even want to go out and talk to women at all. Because like, deep down, I don't really want that. And that scares me. There have been only a few occasions where I was genuinely turned on by a girl, and not just going through motions to get validation at the end. And I would go out literally every weekend without fail. Many nights out, I don't find ANYONE attractive at all, which just makes me super frustrated.

@Someone here Oh I read you wrong. There isn't any replacement for having had and processed the sort of experience which leads people to this type of thing. Even just having such an overwhelming experience, you are left reeling and confused. Doubting it even happened, doubting your own written words describing the experience directly afterwards. People say oh, meditate daily so you never forget this wisdom. And you're like "pfft, I will NEVER forget that", but then you do indeed forget, doubt, try to logically explain it. Etc. If you manage to navigate through all that, you should have no more questions.

When you say YOU are God (and also when you say "God" surely you picture Zeus or some shit) you are wrong because you don't know what the thing being referred to as "you" is. I think it's probably just the easiest term to use when trying to describe it. You probably don't think the universe and all your relatives etc end with you (not using the obvious time trickery that we can't experience in death). Because you think the world out there is a sentient and separate object. You though, are as indestructible as the solar system, as the entire universe. And you don't see it because you don't recognize you are existence itself. You think you are FUNDAMENTALLY something inside of existence and the fear, which is also just an appearance of course, is because you think that unlike the universe """your""" consciousness will cease to exist while everyone else carries on, and stars keep shining etc.

Depersonalization-derealization disorder and dissociative disorder.

Where do you go from "formless consciousness making appearances manifest" to it having CHOSEN for it to be a particular way. They're very different ideas. Having choice (the latter) requires having multiple options to choose from. Those options being ideas. And ideas being appearances. More of the same...

You haven't had (or alternatively, haven't yet processed), a mystical experience. And that is why you have to go through logic riddles which aren't correct. I've heard that one before. There's no void before your birth or after your death, there's no you to be in any void... See you can't remove the consciousness from you, but you can remove you from consciousness, and like a thought it's gone. And you don't feel terrified when a thought comes into your head and then disappears. What you are doing is like, imagine a person having a thought, and they REALLLLLY think they're that particular thought. Maybe the word tiger is the thought. And because they think they will vanish when the thought vanishes (because that's what they think they are), they desperately cling on to that thought and try not to stop thinking it. But we know that when the person stops thinking of a tiger, they are still there... And now step back more, to a singular unified beingness which truly believes itself to be this person, which in turn is not made of anything BUT the thoughts and images which are constantly changing.

I don't know, it's too weird to explain..... It feels like you are quite literally talking to yourself in a dream, and it has nothing to do with whether or not person B is watching you watching them. Your sentience and their sentience seems to unite to become part of a singular whole, irrespective of whether we are individuals in how we discuss it now. It's VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY alien to how we feel currently. VERY alien. But most similar to lucid dreaming and having a conversation with another character, and you start stirring in your sleep and waking up. And how that dream and the character and everything sort of fade and then you open your eyes in bed. The sensation is quite like that.

Well then it's still coming up the chain of command, that way it is going subconscious -> conscious... Where did the subconscious get the decision from?... If it was a choice to say, go to McDonalds or Burger King, then somewhere in the chain the two things have to appear as options. What chooses the options? Things like this, and also ideas like the God of Abraham, or materialism, causes infinite regress. Which I think is usually a signal that it's not accurate... Choice itself is "dual" as you are deciding on A and not B, etc. At some point something has to just be. Not choices chosen through options chosen through options chosen through options etc.

Where's the moment of decision in this? Free is different from free will, I think.

Did you also do that before this life? Did you go to a void where you got to choose your next life? If not I don't see it happening afterwards. One time I smoked DMT while very high on cannabis (I don't touch cannabis, ever, and smoked a fair bit of oil). Well I did not even know that this life had ever happened. I mean genuinely, absolutely, I did not have any knowledge of this life AT ALL. Not what a human is, not what my life is, not who I was... I was just flying through a kind of dim tunnel... Well, after a little bit of that, elf-like creatures began to open hatches in the tunnel. Through the hatches were glimpses of my bedroom. At first I did not recognize what it was I was seeing, but after flying a bit further down the tunnel, as the elves continued to pop open hatches, I eventually remembered it is my bedroom, I remembered what a human is, I remembered my name, etc, I mean I came down from the trip so it all came back to me... So I always imagine that any switcheroo from death here to "another life", will be like that if anything. Just like this never happened.

God isn't real IMO. Nobody on the planet doesn't think of God as "entity who reigns supreme above us". It's a pretty good in the same way 5-MeO is nicknamed "The God Molecule". And it does tick the boxes for God but not for the reasons thought of. It is all knowing, technically, because all knowing takes place within it, made of it. There is reality. When you take away the supreme sentient creator notion, then would you still think it has choice? Does reality itself choose things? It is sentient if you are for the same reason above, because any sentience is within it and made of it.

Yeah strong drugs might cause this effect. You can do it in lucid dreams too, I managed it once in a lucid dream. All you are talking about, is the typical psychedelic type of "out of body" experience.

The way through which I know it is as the "story of you". Example: Your name is Michael, you like Doritos and spaceships, a few minutes ago you were listening to hip hop but now you're listening to jazz. In ego death, the "story of you" goes away, and you are no longer anything other than the present moment. In other words there's no "story of you" accompanying reality. There's just this moment as it appears now. And no continuous "Michael" character through each either. Actually no "Michael" at all. Literally I have lol'd like "what the FUCK is a *my name*?", because there was definitely no such entity present. So that was a bit weird... And then there is dissolution of you, where you no longer have size and the sensory data completely encapsulates where you currently think you are... You don't lose consciousness... But it loses you, if you can imagine what I mean? You're both literally everywhere encompassing all objects of awareness, but also nowhere, not even a "point" or dot...