RMQualtrough

It is odd because people start meditation etc to "escape" whatever present situation they dislike. This forum/business is partially self help and that part is in direct conflict with this part. Gurus and life coaching and self help and even "spirituality", is driven by desire and lack of acceptance of a current situation. Pain too, all the meditative exercises to try to accept it, is itself driven by lack of acceptance. Like the refusal to accept severe shyness because of a deeper refusal to be romantically fucked, there's a refusal to accept the sensation of pain because of a deeper refusal to suffer... There are many things like that. When many people think of accepting pain, they are thinking like "I will make myself accept pain, so that the pain will go away", there's an objective of reaching something other than the present feeling. It's like when people during bad trips try to "let go" IN ORDER TO stop the terror. It is seemingly an action of surrender, but in actuality is more doing X to get Y. It's striving, desire, trying to get something or somewhere. Easy for me to say as I live in 5 star luxury. Much more challenging to accept living in poverty or with chronic health problems etc. I don't think I could do it. I definitely couldn't...

Definitely acceptance is an important thing... I actually think self help is the literal exact opposite of what anyone should do. Very "Chinese finger trap". The more you try to change something the more you suffer... Many times the reason you must try is because failing will mean not getting something you desire. E.g. you CAN'T just be shy and stay that way because you might not get a girlfriend. There's a refusal there to accept the consequences OF the acceptance. But if you can accept both the trait AND the consequence, you are free...

Don't know. It's fortunate though. I know all the airy-fairy people enjoy derealization, but strikes me immediately as horrifying... Any time it actually gets serious I regret having ever explored it and wish to forget. Always makes me feel like a retard and mad that I listened to people promising it will make life so great etc. finding myself in an inescapable state of dissociation. And fortunately it goes away.

The fact of experience is undeniable. Even a delusional experience at least undeniably happened, or "appeared" rather. Experience ought to be impossible when there is no experiencER. So when the experiencer, when the conscious being completely vanishes, yet the "experienced" objects remain, it is completely impossible. It is so completely impossible that it should be impossible even as a schizophrenic psychotic break. There is no way this should even be possible to appear to a psychotic. It is impossible as both fact and impossible as illusion. And yet it is appearing. And the fact it is appearing is absolute and undeniable. Again, if a schiz maniac says there's a pink elephant floating in the room, that could be a delusion. But the fact that schiz maniac is seeing it, is absolute. And that is what happens. Like how the Sun doesn't need to be lit up by an external source, sights and sounds and all manner of things like that are illuminated AS THEY ARE. Alone. Completely self luminous. The qualia is what they are. The idea of me + red = redness is fake. Completely fake. There is just redness. Observed by nobody, by nothing. Illuminated is what it IS. Like the Sun.

Lol'd. This is why we need a "Like" button on the forum bruh.

Why?

I think the Bible would be a better fit for you, you're looking for something to believe in. You'd be better off with scriptures etc to just follow.

Straight up impossible. Even hallucinating it on drugs or in psychosis, it should still be completely impossible: How the FUCK can any shade of reality be made of redness and NOT made of a seen redness and the one who sees it? How can it ONLY be redness alone? In even the most schizophrenic of delusions, or the heaviest of drug highs... It is still completely impossible and should not be able to even appear even the strongest delirium. And yet it can happen and when it does......... Something extra to ponder: I think vision might be the reason for our predicament; on hardcore drug highs, every other sense can lose placement entirely and this happens quite easily I find. But vision is VERY stubborn. Even in a lucid dream, the sense that the sight we are seeing, like some sort of landscape, is in front of us spatially is super strong... Every other element loses this fast in ego death. But this is gorilla glue tier stuck. When the spatial placement of even vision goes, something completely and utterly impossible is revealed. That the sights you thought you were seeing exist in absence of anyone or anything seeing them. That they are self-luminous like the surface of the Sun, they are not happening anywhere at all (as in, you can't find a location where it is, front, back, side, etc), but they are also happening everywhere. And they stand completely and entirely and wholly alone. And you simply do not exist and never have. It is hard to drill the idea of a you out of the appearance of existence... It is hard to explain with enough gravity for a person to see, that they do not exist. They are absent. That the world is painted with strokes of redness and soundness and tasteness, not with red or sound or taste + a you observing them to turn them into reality. That the qualia is the ONLY thing there. When redness appears, there is redness. There is ONLY redness. The appearance of redness is the ONLY part of the equation that is present. Not the underlying red or "your consciousness". Redness shining like the Sun, its own surface already illuminated without eyes cast upon it. Luminosity in-built. "Observer and observed" loses the observer. And redness shines by itself. The lingering thought of the "one who observes" is the final frontier of fear and grasping...... And then it is all over......

Is the infinity in the room with us right now?

What deep sleep nothingness? Has never happened lolz.

I lost two family members to cancer. I wonder if this will be comforting, but on the day my nan died, she'd been very delirious but suddenly became completely alert; she said to my grandad that she'd had a dream. He asked her what about, and she mentioned the crucifix. Then she smiled, genuinely. It's a common thing that on the brink of death people have some sort of major realization, which seems to be very comforting. The specific religious imagery isn't really important, just the realization behind it. Ultimately "everything is going to be alright". You are safe, you will be okay. It's natural to be apprehensive but as the time gets closer you might get a realization like everybody else, which puts you totally at ease.

Be careful in India, it's basically a guarantee you'll get super ill. Tbh if you can skip India I'd skip it. Nepal might be decent.

Not me, and there was actually some dude who tested if the elves or w.e. could show/tell him something verifiable he didn't already know about reality.

It will probably kill you if you had the drug on a constant drip. They experimented with doing this in the legit medical field and IIRC it caused heart attacks.

Mushrooms were legal in the UK until about 2005. Crazy right? They used to sell them openly on Camden market... When I was younger, about 18ish, I used to go there and try to get DMT etc... Obviously no hope in hell, they at that time couldn't even sell mushrooms so when I asked for them they fetched me Amanita Muscaria instead. So I guess I had interest in those things for my entire adult life. What you probably encountered was a legal grey area of some kind. E.g., you could sell cactus here for a long time, but not extracted mescaline... And you still can I think buy spore and grow kits.

The cycle of death and rebirth has nothing at all to do with the birth and death of a physical body. Freedom from it has nothing to do with reaching some state or place.

Some people don't realize just how fucked they can get. The level of panic can become indescribably severe. In fact I think some of those states are more frightening than just ceasing to exist.

Acceptance is the greatest means to liberation. I understand the balancing act, though... You have to be actually Buddha or some shit to give up all Earthly things and just be fully contented. In the modern world I imagine it's harder. Life is centered around material things. Not only that but we are so advanced that you are giving up more than Buddha would have. Buddha as a prince even never had air conditioning and gadgets or cars. I have experience with this act, as I am a pretty much lifelong sufferer of Avoidant Personality Disorder. Basically it's impossible for me to form social connections, and when I do I secretly want them to end... Over many years I am able to better accept the panic attacks and anxiety. They still occur, but my response to them is less judgemental, which cuts out the "wow I'm such a fucking loser" thoughts which follow....

Maybe don't transcend psychiatry. Transcend that when you're dead. Anti-medicine stances lead to unnecessary suffering. Fuck life without my Zoloft...

Fuck Jesus-cope. Fighting leads to a deepening of depression etc. Total acceptance is the sole way out... Sometimes it is so severe the mental illness that acceptance won't help. I'm thinking like, people whose lives are just a permanent Salvia trip.

The qualitative elements of the ego are really present, such as the thoughts about what we are etc. But no actual entity will be found where the ego likes to suggest it ought to be. Reality has never needed a self and never had one. Just the same appearances which everything else is.

The ultimate weirdness of this statement being because the recognition of it is knowing I don't even exist. It's just too weird. At first I felt in awe, but then for some reason I just snapped like "I don't like this"... And I almost outright fainted, felt like biology class again when the teacher would discuss internal organs and I'd go all pins and needles and collapse... Reality isn't made of a "you" seeing red, or of seeing red, or of seeing, it's JUST red. Nor out of a "you" hearing music, or the hearing of music, or even just hearing, it's JUST music. I don't really even wanna type this, it's making me come over faint again... Srs... I don't even think I wanna discuss it too deep because it's coming back over me. Hopefully you understand what I'm saying. I'm not "seeking" this shit anymore. It should be locked in a chest and chucked into the ocean, wtf would anyone want to come into contact with that for? I mean, minds change but rn I feel shaken badly... I think it's a psychedelic flashback probably. This happens to me often but I abused DMT, outright like, several times a week for a year type thing. The thing with psychedelic trips is that because we aren't tripping out 24/7, when we have a serious breakthrough and come back, we don't really remember or relate to the experience. When it starts seeping into normal living, tbh I don't know if it's a good thing. Maybe in 500 BC China or w.e., I don't know...

I genuinely think these symptoms might be a physical manifestation of something psychological. As I've seen a number of people on that same path of chronic fatigue. It might be related to depression or something like that.

Probably because God isn't real.