mamad

in my mind act of services and buying gifts are more pragmatic and YANG since it shows protectiveness to the other partner. word of affirmation and quality time are more emotional oriented and intimate type of languages which are more YIN.

good perspective to gain but while choosing a roommate for a lifetime its not reasonable to see through this paradigm. it is not working in the long run my ex`s love language was buying gift it was fun at first to get a gift every date but it meant nothing to me but whenever she said I love u she made my day which was unpleasant for her to say since it was not her language. this was a big lack of compatibility

@zazen good points... it was mostly about hookup culture but some of the points was about the sex. being a monk and avoid it for a lifetime is not a reasonable option in my mind. it is another form of toxic relationship with sex (avoidant.......secure........anxious). it should not be repressed it should be transcended and when it is transcended the moderation will come naturally. but it is good to know the downsides in order to not being anxious about it.

it is good to have it but do not afraid of not having it.

do not afraid of not getting sex. be aware that If you get sex with this mentality you wont burn your Karma but crave for more. If your body want sex go pursue it physically but detach from it psychologically. I know how it feels when you crave for something and not get it. it sucks. BUT this quote from ramana maharshi calm me every time: "WHATEVER IS DESTINED TO HAPPEN WILL HAPPEN DO WHAT YOU MAY TO PREVENT IT. THIS IS CERTAIN. THE BEST COURSE, THEREFORE IS TO REMAIN SILENT."

it is sad to hear this story :(. whatever happens within you at the moment is not wrong nor right, it is just your condition at the moment. do not feel guilty about it. we are not responsible for our thoughts and emotions, it came out of nowhere and will go out of nowhere, what we are responsible is how we deal with them and our action that arises from those thoughts and emotions. and do not TRY to change your hate towards your ex. sit with it and SURRENDER to it. it will leave your body when you stop resisting it.

@Gesundheit2 @flowboy @bloomer @NoSelfSelf @Yarco tnx for the advice @LyubovI feel you man @Elhamمرسی الهام

my gf is moving to Russia to study medicine for at least 6 years. we are in deep love and she asks me to marry her and move with her. but I have some plans for myself for the next 2 years and it is undoable for me. we can see each other each summer but for most of the years we are far away from each other. I am in deep frustration . have you ever been in a distance relationship. was it successful? I dont want to break her heart in a foreign country. we have one month know and I dont know If I should give it a chance or end it while she has the mental stability in our country. every advice would be highly appreciated.

I am not 5 feet 11, I am GOD

no amount of distance can ever silent the voice of inner parent in our mind. moving oneself physically is not a primary advice. as a person who suffers a lot from parental issues I would say accepting your parents limited attitude towards life and love those attitude and transcend them is the one and only way. after that If you want to move away from them do it.

leo`s self-deception video means alot to me as it leads to a big AHA moment. in Islam there is a phrase in Qoran that said:"والله خیر الماکرین" it means"and Allah is the Best Deceiver " and there is an adjective for Allah which is "خلاق" which means " a constant Creator". it was amazing to me how all these points connected to each other with leo`s teaching. as he said " God using Self-deception in order to create and he does it constantly " this video also solves ego`s backlash for me. whenever you find the Truth, God will be there for you to deceive You and Create you again. so it is not a bad thing. it is not scary. it is only a gift from You to yourself in order to exist a you. it is your next homework:)

dating a girl for months and we have a lot fun and so many things in common and we are in same stage in spiral BUT she is twice richer than me and has a luxurious life. although my income and status in society is quite good and a bit above average but the difference is considerable . we have good chemistry and damn good compatibility beside our monetary status. recently she asks me for more serious and committed relationship ( I was so hesitant to initiate the talk ) and I see this relationship is driving the path of marriage. we have not talk about this issue with each other because I thought I would seem insecure in her eyes but she seems fine with that. I`m not sure if this become a problem in the long run or not. do you have the same experience in the past or what? say your opinion to help this poor guy

good point

since I see Attraction as a survival game Im afraid to lose my attraction in the long run

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0FTSbrZYfI beautiful loving song about a blue person missing out Imam Hussien(some kind of religious guru who was killed in the way of serving Allah) and his Haram(the place where he was buried) in Iraq. in Arbaeen day(40th day after the day of his murdering) millions of his followers gathering in his Haram.

tnx for the effort.

such a wise girl marry her

tnx a lot

I guess most of you have read human magnet syndrome by Ross Rosenberg or you know about narcissistic/codependent relationships. as a male I always want to be supportive and provider in my romantic and long term relationship. But I feel as I concentrate more on my partner`s emotions and needs and try to be the pillar of the relationship I end up in a narcissistic/codependent relationship where the relationship is all about her and her needs. and as I become more neutral about her needs and concentrate more on my needs I feel the spark of the relationship goes away. am I wrong in my understanding of masculinity in relationship or is there something else? any advice would be appreciated

of course I didnt do it intentionally. in those scenarios she seemed alone and her partner was not near her. he went for shopping from near grocery store or she was waiting for his arrival and he arrived during the approach.

how much does it take between choosing the person and initiating the conversation? I followed 3 second rule but I faced challenges . there were situations that the girl was with her bf/husband and I approached and the boy became aggressive and some conflict happened. now a day I take 5 minutes to watching her and make sure she has no partner with her which is so time consuming.

self limiting beliefs(SLB) usually come up when you stretch your comfort zone in each area of your life. try to come out of comfort zone and watch out the voice and the feeling it generates in your body. you can then contemplate on the root of those voice and feeling and when you find them just accept them and give them all of your love. SLB happens for lack of love and acceptance in some aspect of your life, so in my opinion writing them and burning them is an aggressive and self-attacking way to handle it. at the end of the day you dont change your SLB, you embrace it and let it go...

you have no idea what you should looking for and what you find attractive in your partners when you are new to serious relationships. its a road of mastery . you need experience of being in serious relationships for at least 5 years to be able to determine if someone is proper for you or not. enjoy the journey