Cathal

my core wound of being unaccepted by my family as a kid seems to really fuck me hard sometimes but it blows my mind how much healing i've done on it - It's really like etchings in the sand that the oceans must wash over and over and over for it to heal, and sometimes some rough striving is needed for growth @BipolarGrowth nice to hear Brandon =]

the one who says that is in a framework that says mind is an appearance, that is mind saying to itself ah there is an appearance of mind - it's another game you're in mind IS the framework from which you are in and how you are percieving reality/yourself and it is not something you observe, you are observing expressions of mind

only through attachments the illusion that some'thing' is reincarnating comes about, when you are in the space of pure infinity there is nothing arising or passing away so neither something was born or will ever die - and what are you? an expression of infinity, your essence or drop or spirit or soul or whatever the fuck - unless you can experience that truly there is no center to you then you are attached, unable to percieve what is right in front of you, unable to truly understand this and your intellect will try endlessly to come up to a conclusion because it all seems so far fetched because of the current framework of reality you are in dissolve the frame and see there is no center, no time, everything is spontaneously emerging for absolutely no reason from nothing

@Matys if this understanding that there are no others is not enriching you or making you more loving, then you have not understood what that means, and that is why people here really get entangeled by solipism and all that shit , then you are trapped heavily in your own conceptual understanding and creating a nest out of an insight instead of using that insight to truly free your(Self) - no, the truth is you are not seeing what is causing you to perceive the boundaries between you and Self or (no others) - it is a lack of understanding of your attachments to a self and that's ALL. the more blinded you are by that, the more you go on seeking - it is just attachment! and you can't meditate or 'realize' your way out of that - that is the fundamental root of what is causing you to percieve the way you do, and you also say 'no lasting basis for action' man, look around at the world really, look at some documentaries, look at what the world is right now, there's so much basis for action. You are just a product of an environment, everything from the guy sweeping the floors in mcdonalds to the people developing new vaccines are contributing to the fact you are breathing right now - start to see the logic as it is i will say it again for anyone else who reads this, if the no others insight is truly realized by you then you it will naturally emerge a deep love and drive to serve others, if it isn't, you have not understood the no others or you done psychedelics and are attaching yourself to your insights dysfunctionally - use it functionally as in doing shadow work and such things

@egoeimai too gather info of your income to see if you are eligible for free therapy - if you make enough money to pay for it yourself, you would be declined

can u bump here? this seems to have worked for everyone who wrote to me. so yeah bump /char

@Migue Lonas ahah love it will steal this and make myself look funny at some point later

@PepperBlossoms lack of emotional intelligence causes emotions to fuck you hard, that's when your emotions turn against you sweetness and love and joy and happiness - you don't even think about it, you just are it, you become the activity - and you want to spread it to others, naturally, everyone is like that but when you avoid, run, judge, escape, push away other emotions or fundamentally believe it's right and wrong to feel certain things, you will trap yourself in misery for suresy

Most of you guys haven't realized you were raised up in a cult, it hasn't hit you, everything you do and value is defined by others and you are enslaved into seeking validation from other people in an echo chamber you can't even escape on the internet, you are merely a product of conditoning - at least what you seperate as other cults and communes people looked a bit happier would you rather be where you are or here?

@Manusia Learn to trust yourself, that's all that you have to do to emerge masculine energy - that and working out The reason masculinity is so praised is because you were conditioned in a validation seeking society full of bitches who can't stand there own ground or do the right thing, they live in fear of not doing socially acceptable things and have there values and behaviours defined by others Find something bigger than yourself to live for and give yourself into it, your masculinity will blow up

intense mania and suicidal comedowns (2019) they are a good substitute for a lack of emotional intelligence

Be careful with psychedelics, they can really fuck with you - in the absolute sense of everything you can only grow and learn, but relative to your experience right now it can be extremely painful when there is a dense layer of ego that has all of these core attachments (like to your gf) and the existential things aren't exactly to be rushed, there is no rush to God-realization for anyone at all and I would say use lower doses to get some clarity on why there are these dense layers and how you can work through the layers instead of trying to eat the elephant in one bite - taking it bite by bite. What is the most important thing is not the secrets to the Universe but how to reduce your experience of suffering You are all alone but everything is you and it's better to reframe it as, you are deeply connected to everything around you at all times, you are an ecosystem that is in sync and harmony with the entire universe and this beautiful planet, but when you have strong attachments to limited forms such as a family or friends and a gf, I can imagine it's quite confrontationally intense to see them no more important as a tree or flower. But yeah, overall you can see now that everything around you is you and you can treat it with sweetness and you can begin to understand yourself so much more radically through being aware it's always your mind projecting itself and there is so much room for growth right now, your eyes are opened and you can use this experience as a reference frame for choices you make right now that are good for you and everyone around you <3

@sleep Hi there. Let me ask you one thing, do you do any of things consistently a lot of the time? 99% of things you will suck at in life, but if you are afraid of failing you will miss out on 99% of stuff to do! fuck it and enjoy the process, learn to detach yourself from trying to go somewhere and enjoy what is in front of you, if you just try your best to find what works, the word failure doesn't even make sense. in your childhood you kept digging a hole and ran into so many obstacles, roots, rocks, insects, you never failed - you just kept doing something until it worked. that's how everything is, there is no failure, failure is in your bad, being bad at stuff is in your mind. ---there is only a measure of competence, sure you are incompetent in a few things! so what? you don't say 'i am' and leave it no, you put the effort into being more competent if it's something you truly want and leave what you don't want behind . there is only figuring out what works and what doesnt work - but when you introduce right and wrong, good and bad, you create the duality and resistance and suffering in yourself

A real life purpose has no doubts in it. If there is a doubt what you are doing isn't your life purpose, its not your life purpose. Life purpose comes to YOU, it is realized by YOU and not constructed by thought. It comes when your heart is confronted by reality and followed through with your intuition/gut feeling that this is the right thing to do in life, it takes quite a lot of clarity and understanding to differentiate intuition and mind when you've been conditioned to distrust yourself since you were a kid. If you truly want to find your purpose, enrich yourself in life and what is really happening around the world and look inside of yourself to see how you can best serve others, giving will set you free! I just wanted to write that because of all the shit around purpose <3 There is no meaning, no inherent purpose to anything because that is purpose found in the mind. Your purpose is a found through feeling.

@BipolarGrowth come on bro why not alexander the factory worker... joe is such a discrimanted name but true, not many people give a shit and despite the amazing beings who have walked this planet look at reality right now. the real question about mass awakening comes when the right people gather themselves together - we are too scattered across the world individually, you think?

@Marv definitely wim hoff method is more for enjoying the very physical benefits but going towards deeper dimensions, shamanic breathwork is insane and still to this day I have experienced the most insane fucking cathartic experiences and deep connection to the essence and a lot of clarity for reflection and all that. if you are interested or want guidance there's a dude here who you can join a class for free, pretty sure leo has a video on it too, i do too haha

only trust your direct experience, you are making way to much conclusions on what other people have experienced man. why don't you go out into the world where there are underprivileged kids and people begging for food and ask yourself that question then? trust your direct experience only, what you feel, what is real, what is right, what is true within you use concepts and guidance but don't make conclusions from them wake the fuck up to reality

@Spence94 Hahah yes! the silence... the stillness, that is what we are always trying to find, always, every moment of the day but usually in a really dysfunctional way or in the limitations of what we believe we can and can't do. Shining a light on what is causing our inherently still lake to feel disrupted, fragmented, unsettled, unstable is the intuition, radical honesty is stepping towards things that seem like they will cause us deep pain and letting go is the amazing feeling of confidence and love when we face it and follow through <3 hehe @John PaulYup I learned that the hard way

Your intuition is the most dangerous thing to your survival. Your intuition is the most dangerous thing to whatever positonality you are in right now, it is the biggest threat to your social situation, your relational situation, your family situation, your job situation, what you believe about yourself, what you believe your purpose is and all that shit you have in your head Your intuition is literally the inner guru, it is highest form of intelligence within you. It is literally the lighthouse of God guiding you in your storm half sinking ship trying to return you the state of harmony/nonduality/stillness/childlike innocence The moment you realize how absolutely terrifying it is to trust yourself but you do it anyway is when you stop projecting your intuitive authority that is inherently inside of yourself to explore and think about how reality works for yourself - this is the end of validation seeking, and becoming a man who knows what he wants (or woman<3) and for those seeking life-purpose, your intuition is literally the calling to your life purpose and IT TAKES TIME for it blossom and unfold and have deeper realizations for why you are here, but it's so important to really begin to trust your gut feeling as much as you can for that blossoming to come, how many of you think you have found your purpose but have some backround doubts? , i don't exactly know how the life-purpose program works here but it's not difficult to realize truly what you as God wants for the world - what have you came here to give? give. give. give. give. Because your intuition as a child was guiding you until you got socialized and I bet if you REALLLLLLLY reflect back on your life SO many times you had this feeling that 'this is wrong' but you look around at everyone doing it and you naturally DISTRUST your own intuition, and so begins the creation of attachments and a seperate self that is being created to adapt to whatever everyone else in your environment is doing - all your 'self' is merely a product of your environment and most of you guys reading this have realized this is not you, and now you are working on detaching yourself from that - some of us have really dysfunctional and traumatized self but the intuition is returning to your essence/enlightenment/a non-dual state/harmony You stop adopting other people's paths in the mind and realize your intuition is the light under your feet right now showing you the path Of course if you're really far far gone into the mind, it's good to look for guidance, but it's so fucking limiting. It really is, and I bet a lot of the time you guys feel so unsatisfied and limited by things, like you had made such amazing inner progress but you seem stuck looking to go further. That is the calling for striving, and the intuition can emerge if you can listen. It literally is like your antidote to attachments to a self. your medicine to your seperateness, if you learn how to listen (entering a massive bumpy terrifying road) you begin to see the massive surge of love for yourself, the coke-like confidence emerge, everything you have been looking for, it is actual transformation. It is an inner bond unlike anything you will ever find, it IS THE connection you seek most of the time in other people. You don't worry about failing, you can always rely on yourself and fall back on yourself instead of this need to find a mommy and daddy, this is SELF LOVE. You do the right thing and build this trust in yourself to do what is right, and you stop being tortured by the fear you will do something wrong and revert to the emotional patterns that trap you --- that you will be rejected in society, you will be ridiculed, you will be unwanted, you will be left out, no one will like you, the fear of not being normal - it all begins to dissipate the more and more you trust in taking action through intuition https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScljRnoebQ0 Anyways I would be curious if any of you guys have thoughts about it or whatever, hope it sparked some thought for you

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I ended up with someone demanding I take care of them and it felt like taking care of a child (post trip) and I was just confused and never met someone like this - of course while on the trip it was sitting and guidance and that went great but I have been told I have no empathy and I caused them sadness and a lot of pain to someone because I wasn't going to tell someone how to live their life and explained how to think for yourself and figure things out and I can't save you from your suffering - I will help with integration but not saving - and this is just a tool to understand yourself bla bla bla, I donno. It doesn't make so much sense to me and i'm reflecting on it thinking about if it's just not a good idea to trip especially with girls i meet where this expectations of a romantic connection - my thoughts were prior to it that it would be something I wish someone had shown me, a person with some experience and understanding to make sense of a trip - because when I did it by myself alone, I had no understanding and I just fought against it and had so many bad trips till I could make more sense of it what do you think about doing psychedelics with people? I have only done it this time for the first time and it wasn't enjoyable or at least I thought there was so much potential to explore but yeah, it just felt like I was with a child and I didn't want to push anything or go deep into things

@puporing yup! i definitely need to really question my assumptions about people, they almost seem to form in the backround and are incredibly subtle.. reminds me of the video 'assumptions is the mother of all fuck ups' leo made - self-deception, or seeing what i wanted to see which i guess deep down was just me wanting another like minded person. fuck haha

@Terell Kirby yeah we did and it seemed like a good idea but all of this shit came pouring out and i guess i wasn't able to see it until the point of taking the lsd, that really made her express what she was always feeling and i couldn't see through the mask

@Random witch I think in the very deep root it's the inability to be honest with ourselves, truly being honest with ourselves roots deep pain and things most of our lives we've been avoiding, definitely brutal confrontational honesty towards how you feel and why you are really doing what you are doing is the best way to build that trust in your life and return to your own innocence and yes you are right, when you don't feel accepted the urge to create a character that fits in comes about... at least for me most of the suffering i have been through is the games i have created to meet my needs of being accepted and belonged - i was a fucking chameleon everywhere i went

nice <3 yeah, i think the journey of really understanding yourself truly you can just accepted yourself and truly just BE yourself, be your wounds, be what you are, express yourself as you are- naturally you attract the people who are right for you, although loneliness is a very difficult journey you could reframe it as an emotion trying to communicate you need to find the right people for you and it wants the best for you