Cathal

forgiving yourself is more of an understanding that goes beyond the dualistic perception of a story in your head about you and other people that you or them were done something right or wrong to a seperate you and is the recognition of just sin/error, just mistakes. loving kindness isn't enough because you are coming from a place of wanting to get rid of negative emotions that's why you keep coming back to them. this guilt and pain sticks because you still in somehow believe there was something inherently wrong, bad, evil about what happened, what you have done or what another has done. you must see your innocence until you can truly let go, that's all i have to say because i broke my head over trying to forgive and realizing your innocence is a lot of work - that you nor anyone has done anything wrong, ever. true compassion has to be seen within yourself

Do you think your intuition is the guiding intelligence of you as essence unobstructed by ego desires as you keep taking on forms/life to life?

@Nadosa do you think you don't need to work on your experience of the character/personality?

what exactly does self-love mean to you? because when i'm doing self-love i feel like i'm torturing myself sometimes, confronting my shadows and whatever the fuck

metta has been invaluable to me, I describe it to myself as duality dissolver, you should notice when you are sending whole heartedly intented love to people who you may think have wrong you or you have old attachments to, it can be a very intense experience sometimes and remind you to smile at all of confusion it's also just a powerful practice all around and very easy to be with a feeling, i think i can fall deeper faster into stages relaxation by softening tension and resistance with the loving kindness intention just having that intention to bring kindness to a heavy heart will bring out whatever needs to come out, you don't have to feel any kind of warmth and infact i spent months at the beginning just feeling all kinds of painful cold energy and tensions and just bleh

@Ulax seeing your innocence clearly through a realization you can see it in everyone else and there's a great sadness but also great love and that has been the most transformative thing so far @Breakingthewall yes, this i also remember realizing this it was quite funny. everything is exactly 'just as it is' and that's all, all just is and ends there. it's beautiful

@PurpleTree no Just become aligned with your authenticity because the thing is just see it like this, whether you try hard or give up will make 0 difference on the ratio of people you make comfortable or uncomfortable and the beauty in it is once you talk/meet with people while not hiding anything you feel far more relaxed and accepted and you can actually enjoy company and all of these fears don't bother you like they do when you're trying so hard

The belief systems around you getting your needs met. As in that part of you that thinks you need to have/be something you're not to get what you desire, there's nothing wrong with anything you have written but at the same time you need to understand yourself better if you want to stop falling into your patterns over and over

shamanic breathing broda If you want to join a free online class, try here although it's more emotional healing the things people describe doing this is pretty much flicking on your inner lsd

you're lucky she puts herself out there so you can do some shadow work on yourself and stop projecting your shitty tiny self to everything

the pleasure of being a victim

just play call of duty instead for real though right now the world doesn't need more soldiers fighting me vs you, we need people to fight to stop the fight of me vs you

the buddha said there were millions of buddhas before him and there will be millions after jesus was like i am the son of god, follow me for salvation - that was utter blashphemy to the people around him

Fuck the mental health system and find a real healer, a person realized as a healer who can actually help you

@Irina Wolf sounds like you're learning the lesson, compassion for those who hurt us when we realize they just project the very same pain they experience - it transcends all the pleasures you get from getting a one up - revenge, vengeful, superiority, definitely feels good. but true compassion really sets you free

@RMQualtrough I feel that lol

Just a story about skyrocketing to heaven and plummeting into hell. The story is basically about why you should be very critical towards the systems you are getting involved in and questioning the way you assume the people you adopt as authority figures because of there status in soceity know what best for you is what is actually best for you (going to psychiatry, getting evaluated, pharmacueticals, psychology) As in really explore and think for yourself are these societal systematic mental health systems actually going to help me change myself? There are so many options for you it's really crazy, the real question tho is more like what are your belief systems regarding what you can and cannot do for yourself

@Gianna never heard of that term, yeah i remember it like it happened a moment ago it's i was shedding a both within a body and all that was left was a very intense feeling of limitless love but it felt like i couldn't contain and was just endless and racing in expansion and i was losing my fucking mind. but hey at least it gave me my first real clue of what i was looking for

like imagine you lay down on a bed, get up, lay down, get up for hours on end without even caring because it feels so intense/good, mania is the worst/best time of your life, you can see in both those ways haha

If you want to conceptualize life purpose beyond the sense it is just the activity you take in that is not based on any attachments or you could say the desire of truth - as in you know what is right and wrong intuitively beyond concepts. If your purpose was truly to raise the consciousness of humanity like you said you wouldn't give a shit about the means or the utilitarian purposes you must fulfill, if you care about the utilitarian aspect it's always, in every scenario an attachment to some'thing' in consciousness and not based on observing as in you're getting identified with things Just confront yourself and try to stabilize yourself in what your heart wants and stop avoiding feelings that feel bad along the path otherwise if you fall down every time you take a step youll get fuck all done

emotional attachments to what you think is right or wrong dogmatize it

You never truly found your life purpose then, If you found your life purpose what your colleagues do or don't do would make no difference and just from what I see I really think you need to see more clearly why you are experiencing those emotions because you are essentially gaslighting yourself because of your belief what you identified to be a life purpose It is just a projection of thoughts and that's why it's so illusionary and making you suicidal - your emotional attachment to a thing with no substance to it/foundation in reality

this guy does daily meditations: https://www.youtube.com/c/MonkLife https://discord.com/invite/hdq3B6kDnk

@Illusory Self letting go is a consequence of surrendering to the what is - what presents itself, whatever you feel just is and it's not something you do. it's like the struggle in not struggling with things and that's the whole effort, a radical way of allowing everything as it is, not wanting to avert from negativity from avoidance or craving to be in some other state of being but yeah there's a lot of confusion in it in the sense you may ask well what the fuck am I to do now? you cannot let go of those states of consciousness as this is wanting to get rid of things and is not letting go- apathy, depression, loneliness, unworthiness because they are merely consequences of things you actually have to let go of which are being held together by belief systems -those are buried within and it's up to you to learn the methods and take the effort to confront them. as in for example: you feel unworthy of a partner and rationalized it in your past as 'i am' unworthy - through identifying with that feeling you basically encapuslate yourself inside of that reality because you really believe you are unworthy so you don't see the point in taking action for your desires to fulfill your needs which leads to apathy, loneliness, depression etc so the question is how do you confront this belief system? well, being able to observe this all emotional shit happening inside of your body, being accepting and allowing of it/non judgmental and simply understanding - whilse pursuing your desires to have a partner will lead to your personality structure transforming and you actually feeling different and nothing else you can do besides facing these fears will bypass the feeling of being stuck here. so letting go is really once you surrender yourself to your own inner turmoil without wanting to change it as it arises and not getting identified with them, you can allow them to dissolve. with very complex traumas that usually come from childhood it's more complicated and requires a helping hand and guidance imo also in that book, he really gives a beautiful explanation of the pleasure we get out of not letting go which is very very important to see within yourself, as in you get a kind of enjoyment of being a victim or whatever, and how we bullshit ourselves quite a bit and so on, great book