Illusory Self

Wondering what are the best free/paid sites people have come across when it comes to gathering stock images? I am needing some great artwork to fuel my LP

@Hello from Russia She even wants me to text her good night and morning messages.. smh

Thank you

There are some websites where there are archives of loads of great books I saw some good recommendations earlier on in this forum but forgot the names of them

Thanks. Will do.

It seems so challenging just gone on a 2nd date with a woman but I could not get over her LMR and she says stuff about doing things like going to the cinema etc.. I don't know how to properly communicate to her that is not what I want to do but still keep her around. I think in her mind she wants to get a boyfriend but in my mind I want to have fun without any commitment It's a matter if getting her to buy into my frame, seems challenging

think I am just gunna turn into a sociopath, at least they don't have any emotions . It's just shit, girls dump me all the time and don't care about me but then I feel bad for leading a girl on. There survival strategy is to settle down and mine is getting laid. I am more interested in a long term solution for this because I am going hard into pickup/socialization.

I notice way to often I read and get ideas but fail to write them down. This is like a really well organized commonplace book on notion.

Hey, finally decided what I want to do and I am going to be starting a SMMA. I have the course material and fully commited on this entrepreneurship journey but looking for an accountability partner for an extra source of motivation

Lately I have been working really hard on starting my own social media marketing agency and I will have to be doing a lot of prospecting. My social skills are very bad and I am not great at human interaction so this project is both exciting and scary at the same time. I decided to undertake it as I think it will improve my people skills. I am just afraid that what if I don't get better with sales or interacting with people. What if I am just not cut out for it? Some self limiting beliefs I am aware of. At the same time I am excited because it is a good business opportunity if I can execute it correctly. What are your thoughts on good sales people? Is it more of a natural thing or learned from a very early age? Can someone very deficient socially become an expert sales person even at the age of 26? I am excited about the idea of learning how to close potential clients.. it's just these limiting beliefs come up sometimes about my own people skills.

I got so terrified when I saw a spider on my weighing scales in the bathroom. I had one of those things to trap it so I could put it out the window but the whole process really terrified me. The spider was moving so quickly so I found it very hard to try to trap it. I don't get why I was so scared and how do I ger over my fear of spiders...

I am 26 years old currently and got diagnosed with osteo-arthritis 5 years ago in my right footwith an MRI scan ago due to a bad diet. I had subsequent x-rays the following years but nothing showed up. I want it to go away as I constantly feel it in my foot on a daily basis, I had another MRI recently and waiting to see the results but I’m guessing it will be the same and I’d choose to believe them over am x-ray as they are more accurate. Is it possible to cure it as I don’t buy it when the doctors say it’s incurable. Surely I can improve diet/get surgery or something to fix the issue permanently. but again, maybe I’m wrong because I don’t know much about osteoarthritis. Just sucks to have it at such a young age. Really limits what I can do in terms of exercise.

I have some deep childhood conditioning that I am not quite sure how to exactly get rid of. I can sleep with girls, in fact a lot. I have loads of experiences of girls giving me validation and liking me but I still have this fear on naturally expressing myself. In the bedroom, talking, communicating, knowing what to talk about, what to text them. The primary thought is "if I say the wrong thing I might get rejected", it even happens with girls who clearly show they like me and even had sex with me over 3 times. The fear of shame and afraid of expressing my authentic self incase of rejection. I would send a girl a text who I have been sleeping with and in the time period she doesn't respond, I will feel bad - like I said the wrong thing. These thoughts get incredibly intense and repetitive. I know I must do inner work to correct all the conditioning from the unwanted beliefs that I have been fed but I really want to know how to precisely cure this problem. I am becoming so acutely aware of my traumas and negative thinking when it comes to being around others. I guess I am looking for specific action steps to take to correct and undo this trauma instead of just saying do 'inner work'. I try doing that but it feels like the thoughts are always still there, constantly persisting. I meditate everyday but it does not make them go away. Maybe it will just take time.. I want to be enough without the feeling of needing to say the right thing to impress someone. I put on a mask for my true authentic self. Loads of layers of armor that I have built to almost protect myself, based on past rejection, bad reference experiences, being bullied, feeling judged, etc... Tend to harp on this negative story of not being good enough for anyone... almost like the next rejection is just around the corner

@something_else @Tyler Robinson Just got rejected by this super attractive girl who I slept with 3 times. It feels harder sleeping with a lot of girls and having them reject you after but I think it is slowly diminishing. I think I have to really fuck up for a girl to reject me after having sex with her multiple times right. Sucks because we had a lot in common. When she was over on Weds, I was super fearful in the bedroom, communication, everything. Yeah I know, I will keep taking action. Just gets really emotionally challenging at times. My reality is of that of been rejected. That is my worldview. I have such little positive reference experiences to go on. Can kind of become a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's worse when I lose girls that I would get along really well with if that fear was not there. I am even starting to feel shame when I have sex with them now. The whole experience of being with a girl feels very strange/foreign/weird/uncomfortable. Do I go full on monk mode and try to develop a solid foundation for my life or deal with these emotional upheavals by practicing socialising at the same time? Kind of really tempted to give socialising like a 6 months break while I go hardcore into my business without any distractions and turn myself into a high value man. The thing is I have money problems also so I am conflicted between the 2.

Taurus

@something_else What's even worse is I find it hard to be compassionate towards others. I am always taking. I was. No, I even get these anxieties when I am typing to you right now. Maybe I could of said something better... always second guessing every action I take. Yes, I want to around 10-15 different schools and was isolated/bullied in most of them. Had toxic friends who used to bully me a lot also. My past is primarily based on people not being nice to me. Of course it is not, just wanted beliefs and conditioning. I know I must love myself more and not hate myself so much. It's a learning experience and I could of had it worse. Spending years playing computer games and not really talking to anyone probably did not help.

@Tyler Robinson The problem goes very deep. I proactively go out of my own way to try and be with a girl. Ignoring my own emotions and needs. You see usually after I see a girl around 3 times, they cut me out of there life so I have developed a fear that may happen again. It's an extreme fear of rejection, I find it so hard to open up and be myself. I always feel like 'i'm being fake' around others. My plan is to focus on only myself for the next 3 months before trying to delve into the company of others. My life is far more important. It will be hard and I hope I push through because the cravings get intense.

I hear you shouldn't do psychedelics in a bad frame of mind but also hear that it can actually save people from depression and being in rut by giving them a unque perspective. Thinking of doing some LSD soon as it is very apparent that I am constantly stuck in a paradigm of negative thinking/depressive state of mind, basically most of the time. Just living without much change in anything. I have done around 20 or so trips of LSD in the past and have all been good experiences but I kind of fear nothing is going to change so seriously considering having a trip soon and will be with a friend just in case things go bad.

So I have been thinking about how my life is playing out and it seems to continuously happen that I sleep with girls such as having ONS etc.... but what is worse is when I am with a women who ideally wants something casual to begin with and then willing to let things develop if things get more serious. I recently saw this women around 4 times but I can only see them around 3-4 times before they cut me out of there life basically saying they don't see anything progression or a romantic spark and bascially don't want to see me anymore. Is it up to me to create a romantic spark? I try to just be myself but being myself is just talking about what I am passionate about and spiritual stuff. It comes down to me questioning is being my self enough or do I have to play a more kind of strategic survival game the first several times I meet her. I just hate constantly having to chase women and it annoys me that I get a lot of advice 'just be yourself' but when I do that, nothing good seems to come from it. Of course it can emotionally be challenging when most girls seem to reject me after having sex several times. I think that kind of hurts the most for me. Almost like my personality is not good enough to keep a girl to stay around. So just be yourself or idk... but I must be doing something wrong to have all these women reject me after sleeping with them multiple times.. I used to feel horrible but kind got to the point where my emotions seem rather numbed down at this point, almost like I half expect it. Maybe I am just not fun to be around, who knows. Kinda expect a women to complete this kind of void and that's toxic in itself so probs just go MGTOW and work on myself. Feel like I waste so much time chasing women and always end up back at square 1. Hurts my self esteem dealing with all these rejections Do I have to behave in a certain way around her in order to stimulate her attraction towards me? Because I get this just be yourself advice around women a lot and it never seems to work.. confusing..

@Raptorsin7 We had a good time together, probably will see her again but just focusing on the areas I need to improve on. She even got me a takeway, the most delicious burger ever. We didn't have sex though because she said she was on her period. Pretty confident I build enough rapport with her that she will see me again, was with her for 5 hours. Went to mine, swimming in sea, hers etc... She was such an attractive spanish girl.. probabaly a 7/8 Dates are honestly so dependant on emotional state at the time..

I noticed my most recent encounter with a girl coming over, that I got incredibly indecisive on what to watch on netflix or what music to watch. I just did not know what to do with her at the same. There was so much indecisiveness going on so I figure I need to get some good shows on T.V to watch and good music to listen to, just not sure what or maybe even doing something else. Does anyone have any good shows/music playlists or suggestions that I can use for when I next have a girl around Maybe even something else, I notice I am very indecisive when it comes to this. I need to have things in the back of my mind on what to do. I'm guessing good music will be ideal while I can chat/escalate. Also, I don't drink alcohol and don't know if I should have a bottle of wine in stock in case she may want a glass. Thinking about doing that also. Any and all advice welcome

I am a man and currently have not watched porn or fapped for like 4 days and feeling so agitated. I constantly keep on thinking about women, checking my phone. Almost thinking about fucking anything but I really don't know how to relieve these sexual urges. What emotion am I experiencing. I currently feel extremely irritated and frustrated that I have all this energy and just really want to have sex right now with a really attractive women so I can feel more calm and at peace. So my mind can be at rest and at ease. I wish the sexual urges would stop but I feel like it is hard to live without watching porn and fapping. I get so much sexual energy and excitement. I feel more motivated to conquer in life so I am trying to actually not watch that much porn but at the same time when I get like this, my mind is constantly on the topic of having sex with any women and feeling horny like 24/7. It has not even been that long. Is this like a good practice to try and control my urges and emotions but at the same time I don't want to supress them. I am experimenting to see if keeping all this vital life force within me will give me more energy during the day and it does seem to be doing so but my mind is going loose, constantly thinking about women. I really don't know how to control my mind in these states of extreme frustration and agitation of really just almost wanting a 'realease'. Is there away to relieve my urges without watching porn/fapping? I want to train my mind not to think about women even when I have a lot of sexual energy

@Flowerfaeiry That's interesting what do you find terrible about it? I think it becomes terrible if you have resistence to the ego death, requires surrending to the experience but again, everyones egos are different and some probably have a huge fear of death when faced with it in the moment. I don't think mine does as it feels like more of a natural experience. It is interesting how others react to psychedelics though. I have had ego death on several occasions during different trips and found it incredibly liberating and freeing. I think the only time I got really scared was on 5 meo but that kind of felt beyond ego death. More of a god-realization kind of effect. I recently had an ego death smoking weed and it was so peaceful. I found natural insights just came to me because the "ego" was no longer running my reality doing its same behaviours.

Going out tonight so need some advice on how to feel comfortable approaching. There is always the fear I have of approaching and not knowing what to say after the approach. It usually holds me back from doing a lot of approaches. In set I will typically get a lot of negative thoughts which harm my interactions with women, I just don't understand why I feel so uncomfortable talking to strangers. Almost like I don't even want to to. I even get a lot of attraction from women but I still have the same horrible inner game mindset whenever I go out doing nightgame. Almost like my own mind is beating myself up and I cannot go into a free flow state of enjoying the conversation. I have been pretty consistent the last few months by going out twice a week, some nights I would do a lot but the root issue is still there, just not even enjoying the process. Last few weeks I have been really slacking and barely doing any approaches during the night. I need to try to gain more motivation for becoming better with women but fundamentally my huge issue is the fear of being seen and approaching in general. Leading a conversation. Do I just approach with no expectations? Maybe there are exercises that I can do before going on a night out or some videos to watch to give me an extra boost to actually approach and not waste the night being in my own head? Going out with some wings tonight but they never seem to approach either, I usually just end up talking to them for most of the time.

I don't know if this is normal but lately I have been pondering my same routines and behaviours that basically run my life. I find that women and sex are a very large part of my thoughts and my thinking process. This constant craving of connection/sex with a female, it almost entirely dominates my thinking process to the point where I try to pursue the opposite sex as a distraction from the deep and meaningful work that I should be doing. Almost like I am trying to run away from something. Like I don't feel whole or complete by my myself and I just crave intimate connection so badly. I was bullied and isolated when I was younger at school, I probably went to around 15 different primary schools and I never felt included by the other kids. I use to have friends that would constantly make fun of me but I would hang around them just because it felt better than being alone. I believe that those life circumstances made me who I am. The process is me getting a lot of inital attraction from women because I am tall and good looking. I can get loads of dates just by doing some swipes, and the pictures are not even the best. Unfortunately whenever I interact with them, I get extreme stifledness, I assume unnatraction - like why is she even here talking to me. So I majority of the time I spend chasing, getting rejected, chasing, getting rejected etc... that seems to be a theme that runs my life. I kind of have this fear of expressing myself. My concern or question is am I running away from childhood trauma that has been ingrained within me or is this normal for guys to think about? Sometimes I wish my mind would generate insights and not pursue meaningless stuff. If it is trauma, what is the best way to heal myself from this constant craving the other sex? It is more of like a neediness kind of craving, like I am not enough by myself so I want to be with a woman even at the expense of my own integrity and values. I feel like I have 2 options right now: 1: to just purely focus on my inner game and incorrect beliefs about myself while giving women a break (I know myself so well, that I will desperately crave it though) 2: Do both simultationsly and go out 2x a week to work on improving my social skills/game while doing inner work at the same time but for some reason I feel so bad when I do pickup on the weekend that I end up laying in bed all of Saturday & Sunday. Option 2 kind of makes more sense but I find it prevents me from doing inner work and I tend to feel very bad on the weekends, going out to nightclubs with autistic level social skills can be rather challenging and nightmarish to deal with. I feel very bad emotions, even when I am at a bar or club. Like I don't want to be there. Anyway, any advice appreciated. This is an ongoing and huge problem for me for basically all of my life. Currently 26.