Illusory Self

@universe Yeah, I want to get nice muscle mass & become good at dancing at raves because I view that as an artform & beauty. Especially the edm/techno music. With dating, I want to eventually find a a compatible partner that I can go really intimate with & do spiritual practices together, have amazing sex ect. The dating is a stepping stone for that.

I fell into this trap for a few days, if you have an awakening. Your ego can really take control of it without you even realising. You think you have no ego but then there is still some ego there which you are not really conscious of at the time. It is very tricky.

@Sleyker I don't feel the hello's are that anxiety provoking for me though. Like I am not learning much, I mainly struggle with maintaining a coversation. Yeah I have been watching the fearless man it's great. inside, but if you want to finally get this area of your life right, consistency is key so don't let yourself be inconsistent. Don't let your mind take control. You have full control each day. The fact that this exercise is triggering anxiety means that you should keep doing it until you are so embodied and flowing during the exercise and there is no resistance what so ever. Meaning there is no reactive energy at all during the exercise. You remain completely open. This exercise has the power to eliminate 90% of your social anxiety. If you can do the 100 hello's, flirting and connection becomes 10x easier. What makes the hello's work is your connection to your body and how well you are feeling. When saying hello, can you remain open - feel through your chest and heart? Like actually feel through that area and feel people through their heart? instead of tensing up and rising up to your head? Can you look people in the eye while remaining connected to your legs, pelvis, spine? You need to work consciously with the flow of energy through your body. I will link 2 videos which you should check and they will help you understanding the next steps. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KhvLGe4-Lw&t=1s @JonasVE12 Hmm, I don't know.... I don't really feel that much anxiety in the moment of saying hello's though. I more struggle with keeping a conversation going. @Leo Gura Yeah, I will try to focus on quality next time. My main struggle is being constantly stuck in my head after I approach & I draw so many blanks/not knowing what to say. That makes it quite hard to enjoy it. Did you have this struggle when you first started? Constantly over analyzing everything. I will usually approach, that is not so hard. I will say to a girl at a nightclub "Hey, you look cute, I wanted to say hi", after that though my brain will freeze up & I will just say like how is your night going or something, I know it is a boring thing to say but I feel so much tension to say anthything else & I feel I can never come up with clever or witty things to say, everything seems very scripted in my own mind for what is 'socially acceptable'. Maintaining conversations feels so hard for me, especially at the beginning when talking to a girl because you have to do most of the talking, since they expect you to lead.

I have been experimenting of just looking at every stranger in the eye also whenever I go out. Forcing them to break eye contact with me. I feel it has been helping to increase my confidence. Some girls will even smile at you.

I have been trying to do Leo's LP course for sometime now, but it gets incredibly challenging not knowing what you are passionate about. I am 25 right now, but you could say I have been locked up in a cage most of my life using computer games as an escape from reality. Never exploring anything, never having any friends. I genuinely cannot think of a time I was passionate about anything. I even tried doing the visualizations.. right now I am interested in spirituality, going to the gym but I feel like I lack life experience so don't exactly want to pursue the wrong thing. I think a good analogy to use is that I have been put in a prison cell for 25 years of my life and finally been let out. It is just that knowing where to start. I know Leo says that if you feel like this you need to expose yourself to more life experience. I am on board with that, I currently live in a big city with a lot going on but I am in my own comfort bubble on a daily basis, don't really have anyone at all I talk to or any friends, It is like a feeling of being stuck. I also feel emotionally numb a lot so I don't even know how I could tell if something would be my passion or not. I do know is that I want to help people in a conscious way Can anyone suggest ways to go about acquiring more life experience in conscious way? I want to start working towards doing something great in this lifetime. How to look for activities? Where do you start? How can you determine if something is your passion or not? how long should you try something for? How to make friends?

200mcg along with 500 mg choline sometimes. Tried several times & just end up being awake all night, sucks because I mainly got it for trying to lucid dreaming

I personally find myself to be emotionally numb all the time, I just get a feeling in my body & that is about it. It's a feeling of just being emotionally numb, not being able to or knowing how to express your emotions. I know it is possible to let go of it because when I girl broke up with me it triggered emotions in me to run wild, like I have never felt before. How do you do it consciously though. I hate this feeling... of numbness to existence. It feels like I am trapped or something, not being able to express myself. Not even knowing what my emotions are.. Just always feel this numb feeling in my stomach & not even knowing what it is.

When I take huperzine A I can not get to sleep & end up being awake all night

@happyhappy Yeah I know about that, I think I have it, everything feels like a dream like I am not in tune with who I actually am. Hard to explain

@gettoefl I don't feel like I have any passions

I don't really feel fear or love, however I sometimes get panic attacks which is strange.

@hyruga Do I do this in my own company only or when communicating to others? I try to reduce the suffering of others as much as possible, I think about how they feel instead of myself.

How though? I never feel anger. I don't even know what anger feels like. Nothing makes me angry.

I would recommend checking out Mantak Chia. The Taoists use to do such practices thousands of years ago. It's about cultivating male sexual energy throughout your being, you can even use it as a form of spiritual practice. It's been said that it is actually better for your health. If you just go on Nofap, you are repressing the energy, not knowing how to deal with it. I would much rather know how to circulate & control the energy. It's also a good skill set to know when you meet a significant other.

Why not just learn to orgasm without ejaculation, then you get the best of both worlds

I can relate, I go through similar feelings. I will go up to a woman typically in a night club & say "hey" easily. The biggest challenge I face is the knowing what to say after, I go completely blank minded usually & it creeps the woman out. I have difficulty leading the conversation or just knowing what to say. I know the woman can typically sense this kind of subtle neediness that I am trying to extract something from them instead of trying to provide value. Unfortunately it is a self fulfilling prophecy because the more I seem to get rejected, then it reinforces feelings of worthlessness/ not knowing what to say ect.. I am sure I would be a lot more confident if I could easily get a lot of attractive women, things would probably come to me naturally then. I only seem to have bad memories with women which causes me bad emotions in this aspect of my life. I am the only one that can change myself though, I even have an overboard of knowledge of 'game' but it means nothing if you don't go out & practice. Defo going to try & incorporate daily approaches. Determining wether to do nightgame or daygame though. I feel like you can just procastinate on this for way to long without taking any action at all. I think my problem is just not really talking to anyone in general to be honest, you kind of just get to a point of not even knowing how to socialize. I remember doing 10 approaches in a night club a few weeks ago just by saying 'hey' & my mind went blank afterwards, the women did not really even give me there time of day to talk to me & it affected my self-esteem a lot that night. I guess 10 is quite a lot when you are not used to it though. I often go out & try to have the mindset that I want to do a solid approach instead of a meek one, which enhances approach anxiety so I think it would be best to drop that state of mind for the time being.

I currently have no stretching or yoga routine right now & just focus primarily on bodybuilding. Is there any good stretching/yoga routines that I could incorporate as a beginner as I have never really done anything like that before? Any good resources anyone can recommend?

It just feels like there is no many different techniques for meditation from loads of different spiritual teachers, it can become overwhelming & puts me in a state of mind questioning if I am doing the right one. Currently just following the mind illuminated book & focusing on my breath for 1 hour. In terms of posture i just sit on a chair right now with my back against the rest as I find it uncomfortable otherwise. Going to probably alternate between that & lying down. I am not sure if that actually effects the insights you can get meditating as your body is not in natural alignment. I think burmese is optimal but recovering from injuries right now. Interested to know what other people on the forum do for meditation and how it has benefited them. What technique has worked best for people?

@Thought Art Okay thanks I will, it just can feel pretty tricky when you have such little life experience. Do you think the ones I am not sure about to just go for the middle option

I did the strength assesment to find my highest strengths but sometimes I get questions such as "do your friends consider you wise", what if you had no good friends? or something along the lines of "do you have a good work ethic". But what if you are just in a bad situation right now which results in bad work ethic but you would have a good work ethic, if you were not in a bad situation. Also I got a lot of questions about team work & groups but I have never really been a part of a team or group & same goes with leadership. I tried doing it a few times but a lot of the questions I am really unsure about & I go neatral on quite a few. Do you recommend that? Also does anyone have a link for a list of the the top 24 strengths with all the definitionsalso? I had a look around but could not seem to find a good source.

I don't really have that much memories of my early childhood years but I do have a few experiences that I do remember. I remember that I was always very afraid of the dark when I would go to sleep & would look at some posters on the wall and would remember seeing the eyes move on it. I used to have horrible dreams a lot of the time when I was a child to the point where I felt that I physically rolled out of bed in order to make the dream stop. It's strange, I had such a different state of consciousness when I was younger. Do these experiences mean anything? The main ones I do remember however are.. 1. One night when I was laying in bed, I actually saw a very large ogre of some sorts, doing a walking motion. Not moving however. I got so terrified by it, that I got out of bed in fear & ran into my mums bed. I must of been around 5 then. 2. I remember sleeping in some kind of cot and i saw an actual sheep, I think it was. Right next to me... That is all I remember from that situation, I kind of felt the feeling that it had my back & I was loved. 3. This one was really strange, I was in a room by myself, with the lights off. So it was pitch black & I could see nothing at all. I was the only one in the room. I felt someone tapping on my back. I could never make sense of that memory. It really freaked me out at the time though. I honestly felt like I was a completely different person when I was younger, like I am the complete opposite now. I rarely dream, Not afraid of the dark or anything. I think when I was younger I had a lot more fear but seeing things made and feeling things maybe made it worse. Do these experiences I had in my past mean much? or indicate anything?

@Nahm Ideally, I would like to sit with a straight spine. I would prefer to do do burmese position but right now I cannot due to knee injuries & a bad foot. Is it possible to do it while sitting on a chair, people say your hips have to be higher than your knees? When I was meditating on a chair attempting to sit up with a straight spine, I noticed my body continually slumping & I felt it was really uncomfortable as if I would constantly be having to adjust my spine back to straight which would distract me a lot from focusing on my breath. What is your best advice for trying to learn to sit with a straight spine? any good youtube videos or tutorials? I would ideally prefer to be in the most optimal alignment with my posture & have it feel comfortable. When I did it in the past however, it felt like I had to put mental concentration on constantly trying to have an upright spine. It would slump very often also. which meant it was hard for me to focus on breathing. Should one ideally be sitting with that perfect alignment throughout the day also, what are your thoughts on sitting on a chair with a rest etc... I notice a lot that I slump during the day. Maybe I need to make more of conscious effort to sit upright. It just feels so uncomfortable & mentally draining.

@Medhansh Ok thank you, i will check that out

I have been completely off antidepresants since April, but the last few months I find I am struggling to get the motivation to do anything at all. Not sure if I should go back on them or not. Maybe my brain naturally produces low serotonin or something. I just find myself feeling very lethargic & tired during the day, like I want to be in bed all day. Feels like I am wasting my life right now.

@Terell Kirby @universe @Loba @hyruga @Preety_India Great, thanks for all help everyone I am going to try & incorporate the advice given