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@Roy yes. I do not want to jump the gun. This post is to help me contemplate all points of the situation and make a decision which will align with how I feel, but yet won't be pushy or controlling or inconsiderate towards him.

@Preety_India thanks dear for support. I know how clingy looks like and its not that. Clingy girls don't have mature conversations about their feelings, thry just demand attention, affection, and adoration and chase the guy. I am not doing any of that. He is still the one who reaches out more and I still have my independent life and plans. But I do feel that due to his level of support when i was in crisis, relationship moved to a new level. In situations like this, people truly show their colors and his behaviour was totally on point - very supportive and protective and generous and caring. So I naturally feel closer to him now and since i am away, want more physical closeness when i am back,because emotional closeness is there.

@modmyth i think an assumption that we need to know all of the person is flawed. People r not static, they grow and develop through the course of life and one will never know another to such a degree, its always a discovery process, that's what keeps it interesting and exciting. For God sakes, we don't even know ourselves that much, let along another human being! In the crisis with my mom and based on a few other situations from his life he shared, I am confident I know enough to make this step. As I said, I never felt like moving in with a guy before, because I clearly saw they are not what I want, mature enough intellectually and emotionally. This guy is quite mature and with age I think we r getting better at understanding people and gauging who they truly are! He introduced me to his friends early on for example, cause he judged my character quite accurately from the get go. Lots of people report to him, so he is good with judging character. He told me about it straight out - that I am the most emotionally mature and balanced woman he met in awhile. Self reliant, independent, strong, go getter, but at the same time calm, rational, emotionally healthy and consistent. His words. Of course apart from being beautiful ??

@Leo Gura i will look into this desire deeper. Overall i just feel I want more physical closeness for now and probably don't see any other way to get it considering that he is a successful guy and works a lot.

@Raptorsin7 financial health is important to me. I dated guys who earned lower than me and that caused issues, so I am not keen on men who are less successful than I am. U r looking into this too much. Maybe its your own weak spot. Thing to ponder for yourself i guess.

@Raptorsin7 he is 12 years older than me and has a son University age so he is fine either way he said. Not too keen, but not against kids either. Same as me pretty much.

@Raptorsin7 you r projecting. He is very smart and if I wanted his money, he would already be on his way out. Also, I am not poor. I repeat, he is wealthy, but I am wealthy and independent too. So I do not chase financials here. Purely attracted to the person.

@Nahm I am not keen on having kids. So no biological clock of any sort. But I do think he would be a good father. I am concious about my projections very much and no I am not projecting anything, just really looking at his actions. If not for his actions, I wouldn't even consider moving in with him right now an option. I am puzzled what to do as I do understand that this step - moving in together - he might not be ready yet for and last thing I want is to push anyone to do anything if they r not ready. The main dilemma i am in is how to share where I am at honestly without necessarily pressuring him to do the same in case he is not ready.

@Raptorsin7 very certain. We discussed kids early on too. He didn't run away when I needed support when there was a peak crisis with my mom as well. In fact, he was so supportive that I felt even more loved and cared for ?

@Khr he already showed plenty that he is genuinely a good person when I had the peak of the crisis with my mom. Here where I am, I have a support group, when I am back, I have close friends for support, but no family. I don't think asking for support and being emotional about a tough life situation is being clingy, it's just being human. And that's how we are with him, we are just trying to be human to each other and support each other. And he already proved that he will drop everything for me if I need hos help, so I don't have doubts in this department. That's the main reason that made me think about taking the relationship to the next level.

@Leo Gura I wouldn't date you if you took my desire for more support and closeness in a difficult situation like that with my mom to be clingy. He is a secure relating type of person, same as me. And showing support and being there for me in a difficult moment is what making me to appreciate him more and feel deeper for him. If he distances himself in this situation, I would lose interest, because that means I can't rely upon or trust him to be there for me when i need it the most. If a guy or anyone (friends), only there when things are going great, I better be alone then. So far he was on point relating wise.

@Etherial Cat good idea, i can ask to stay over for a week or two as I am indeed in a difficult place emotionally regarding my mom situation and he was very supportive.

@Arcangelo correct partially. I am not poor too. But for women, a guy who is well off is important if it is a serious relationship.

@Leo Gura Well, he does work a lot and max time we met up was twice in a week. Mid week and weekend. With his schedule i dont think it will be possible for him to spend more time with me without sacrificing his "me" time. I just want to be closer and more intimate and have more regular sex I guess. Not much to gain otherwise. Of course I can love him without moving in, but considering where I am at, it will feel like we r back to square one after I am back and there is no natural progress in a relationship and it will actually make me feel less love and intensity in this relationship, knowing that things r consistent, but all the same. I feel like with his support in my mom's situation when i was away, things progressed, at least for me. And coming back to the same routine of 2 dates per week, won't be enough for me anymore. And I know for a fact that it will be borderline impossible for him to make more time, unless we move in together. @Leo Gura @Leo Gura @Harlen Kelly

@Harlen Kelly he didn't ask or voiced it in any way, no. But what in my post made u think that way?

@flowboy no rush, i just feel this way and want to get this info out in the open. I think i will be ok if he is not ready. It will upset me of course, just because its so very clear for me on him, so it's a tiny bit frustrating when it's not yet obvious to the other person, but maybe he is not yet certain about me. Don't know, although his actions show otherwise ?

@Tangerinedream with covid no chance for long holidays abroad. But we did 2 days staycation for 4 weeks in a row. So we did spend 24 hours together and it was great each time ?

@flowboy well, timeline is arbitrary. If u just go on dates and conversations are very superficial and surface level, and you both didn't get to know each other on a deeper level like we did, maybe it's fast. But we shared some deep shit and he knows everything about me as a person and my values and my mom issues. I shared everything - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Same for him. So from that perspective I feel like it's a logical next step to move in together.

@flowboy after he didn't fully reciprocate I was actually thinking about pulling away slightly cause I don't want imbalance and me 2 steps ahead and him putting on breaks. But I think if i dont share how I feel - that I am ready to try to live together, that will make it worse for the entire relationship, cause I will feel that relationship is stagnating and not moving forward and I am in some kinda limbo. At the same time I do have a tendency to take control over things cause it gives me comfort being in control of the situation and here i will have to wait until he catches up for however long it might be..

@flowboy nothing changed much in his behavior after I told him I loved him. He still texts regularly as usual and we r having calls while i am still abroad and away. But on a distance hard to say really if there are any minor changes.

@flowboy well, you do have a point and I was thinking about it and got quite upset that it seems he is not therr yet. But he does have issues expressing his feelings in like words. He is mostly the guy who shows with action, rather than words. And how he supported me through the crisis with my mom show me he loves me and cares about me. But also, from the other point, I think I should tell him how I feel - that I want to live together - otherwise if I keep it all inside and be waiting patiently until he will say I love you, it will eat me out from inside and will reduce my level of feelings for him in the process. So I am puzzled really what to do?

@Nahm yes. Relevant because I don't think he would like being pushed to do anything he is not ready for yet. Thus this post and me trying to be extra considerate.

@Nahm not relevant that much. Just mentioned it to describe that he is a true alpha guy but with a warm heart for limited number of people he loves and cares about. And its me moving in with him. His place. So it's not my place to ask I think.

@flowboy Based on what I know about him and his relationships, it is difficult for him to say no to people he loves or cares about mostly out of feelings of responsibility for them and how they feel about him I think.

Well, I did say I loved him or rather texted him cause where I was at that moment when the feeling hit me, internet connection was so bad! I could only text instead of a video call. He responded that I am a very special person for him and said if I need any support whatsoever with my mom situation, I can rely on him. That's what hit me the deepest. I am not afraid to just tell him that I want to move in. I am just trying to be considerate here not to jump the gun before he is ready. Thinking maybe to wait when he feels that way too and suggests it himself? Worst thing is to push him to do stuff he is not quite ready yet but maybe will find it hard to say no if I flat out ask him. That's my train of thought.