falobma

Hi guys, this is my second post and i believe your point of views/ advice will really help me i'm 20YO Male and i'm a virgin, so idont know what real sex felt like (i'm a virgin cause of religion and social conditioning here) {i really want to have sex tho >.< }. so, i have sexual fetish, it's cuckolding and femdom(basicly the idea of male being dominated) BUT these fetish are really different from me in real life ! because in real life i tend to dominate other people(like no one is using me for anything). what does this mean ? i want to change this because i think it's not OKAY and i dont like it. A little bit about my background : i'm from Indonesia a country where religion is pretty strong especially about relationship between man and woman. i've 2 sisters and they pretty much take care of me beside my mom, and my father doesnt really talk that much so sometimes my sisters told me what to do. I learn relationship between man and woman since 2 and half years ago from youtube pickup( and this is where i learn how to be more dominant) and in that time i discover about self improvement.. So what do you guys think ? why is this happens to me ? and causes it will make ? How to stop ? Need you Advice guys

@Emerald Wilkins Ohhh okay i see what you mean and i think i found a way @ProblemSolving yea your way of thinking kinda weird . and yea it's kinda hard to dominate our own life path.. but once you succeed the payoff will be so damn good Thanks so much for your help guys Apriciate it !

@charlie2dogs I dont know why am i doing it i like it but it doesnt felt right. I dont think that's why i dominate( what i mean is : dominance in real life but not using other people) I'm being dominance is because i trust my self( i think i'm better than other people) and that's makes other people belive in me + i like powers.. Hmmm... 'taking responsibility' is this mean like "oke i like this fetish, if i'm okay with this fetish then everyting is good. but i dont like this fetish it's my responsibility to get rid/avoid it" like that ? @ProblemSolving Yes, i really want to change this !! because, well tobe honest i'm afraid... i'm afraid this fetish become into something worse and ruin my life what kind of introspection did you do ?

@Falk Well yea, Currently i'm reading The way of superior man and this book give me more clarity than pickup ever will Thx btw

@Falk I've this fetish but i also see hot woman in real life and i thinking about fucking her... sometimes i imagine someone else fucking her(but not mosst of time) ohh yea a little bit of detail : i only imagine someone else fucking a girl when the girl has a boyfriend and the one who fucks her is her BF( i just relized this). you know sometimes when i watch this kind of porn i imagine myself as the dominant male not the cuck.

@J. M. Wigglesworth Wow, that's deep dude.. about my subconscious mind, what should I do about this ? Inner work like meditation or doing things that will proff myself that i'm worhty ? "There's no expectations of society or peers on you while being degraded so you can drop your mental guard and 'submit' fully. " I dont understand this And for your advice : yes, i'm trying just still not finding the right 'moment'. well, I Actually never watch any Pickup videos again cuz i think it's too much and it doesnt teach you to be more authentic but it tells you what excactly to do. Yep, i'm trying to avoid Femdom shits and porn in general but when i mastrubate often times i think about femdom which makes me felt guilty -.-

@Emerald Wilkins So, basicly you're saying i just need to accept my fetish and live with it ? No! I wont because this fetish is destroying me... I agree these things happen to me have somekind of reason and i'm here looking for it so i can fix this problem. I'm a man and in real life i'm a dominant man.(this is why i get confused). I know you need to self-accept before you can self-improve. here's what i think : 'fuck i like this fetish but this fetish is killing me, I need to change!'. @charlie2dogs why ? you're not helping by saying that dude.

yea, maybe i'm in a lot of chains right now (transition moment). well, i think everyone have their own perspective on good or bad things, right. @MartineF What do you mean by Accept what is. accept my sexual fetish ?

Hi guys, i've already following leo advice since 2 years ago and i like the way he explains things... and i have somekind of issue i guess... everysingle time i have a new crush or when i go 'hang out' with girl I always tell my close friend about her and what we do + how i feel, which makes things gone bad usually i once watch a video explaining about "when you tell your friend or anyone about your goal or what you want to achive, it will increase fail rate of what ever you're doing", it says because our brain doesn't know the different between reality and imajination. So, I think 1 of the reason i fail to get my crush is because i tell my friends about all things we do and what i feel.... Am I making right about this ? (oh god, my english kinda weird .-. ) . and how to not tell my friends about things that we do, because i dont know why, but i find its kinda hard to keep it to my self... any advice guys ? ohh yea 1 more thing, why am I sometimes easly fall in love with someone, is it normal??

@AylaThanks alot for your help and opinion... I'll look inside more, hopefully will find something @SenshiAna, So what do you do about it ? I guess what we should do is turst your gut more. but, if I just trusting my gut, everything(relationship things) will tear apart, i'll come of as needy as fuck... that's why i'm confused to trust my gut or no, and when i can trust it....

is that mean i'm broken inside ? i don't get it... yes, ofcourse it affect me in someways and i'm trying to fix this trauma by changing the way i think. and so far i'm getting better

@Aylahmmm childhood trauma, i don't think i had somekind of huge event happened in my childhood. BUT what i know about my self is until i reach 17 YO I dont know anything women. I know NOTHING about women, until 2 and half years ago i learn from PUA and other sources(mainly internet). I've work so much on this(from mindset, bodylanguage, eye contact,voice tone) until well maybe i can say "i'm more than average men in my age". and yea i suffer from self esteem issues in my childhood.. What do you think about my self esteem ? cuz i think it's fine or atleast it's has been better(much more better) why i want a relationship ? well, because i want to be a better man and maybe i want to prove to my self that I AM CAPABLE OF THIS.

@Ayla Maybe you're right, there is something in that's not ready for realtionship... 2 months ago i just get friendzoned... and that's really hurt... i dont even know why i ended up in friendzone my intention was very clear, this girl knows that i liked her and she always respond to my text and/or calls but she always reject me when i ask her out, she says "she never go out with man" and i know this is true...(my country is holding on religion so hard) so @Ayla is this because of what happen to me 2 months ago ? cuz of heart broken ? then why am i can easly fall in love ?do you have any opinion on this ?