spiritual memes

Just as I thought I was making progress, I got hit with a pretty brutal reality check. My life situation is still shit and my subconscious anxieties are as strong as ever. Have I really been making progress? My life has been shit ever since I left university and I'm still unemployed. I've never had a girlfriend or had sex, and all my friends are too busy to talk to me. Part of me feels bad even meeting up with my friends because they've all got their own busy lives while I'm depressed and alone. I'm tired all the time and my habits have gone to shit. Quite a few people have messaged me asking for advice about IFS after reading my journal but I feel like a fraud giving others advice since I can barely get my own life together. I have dreams of becoming super spiritually developed and making huge contributions to humanity but I'm just kidding myself. I spend most of my life fantasizing about the person I could become, imaginary relationships with girls that probably don't think about me at all, and a future where I am happy. I guess that's just a coping mechanism. I guess I was repressing this frustration with my life. I want to have a positive attitude but its so hard. I feel like I'm kidding myself. Have I really made any progress?

She didn't report him?

You betcha. I sexually identify as a gangster.

since everyone is chatting shit, I'm tier 69 stage glow in the dark sparkly latex purple. This stage is so conscious and awakened it appears to others like I'm mentally retarded.

Fair play. I don't kink shame

Yay, I'll get the popcorn ready.

In that case, @Eternal Unity jerks off to furry porn. Prove me wrong.

Making an assertion without any argument and asking others to prove you wrong is intellectually lazy. The burden of proof is on the one making the assertion.

with love

I've discovered one of my deepest and most repressed parts. It is the part of me that is afraid of being happy. The part that gets paranoid whenever good things happen because it believes that everything will go wrong. Its so deeply rooted in my psyche that it has subconsciously influenced my life leading me to a life of misery because that is the only state where it feels safe. It's trying to protect me from being caught off guard. It believes that reality is fundamentally hostile and therefore I must be constantly vigilant at all times, never letting go. The moment I finally allow myself to let go is the moment the rug gets pulled under me and something devastatingly bad will happen. This has been the case many times throughout my life. Out of all my parts, this one is perhaps the most cruel, willing to do anything to prevent me from letting go. It fills my mind with the most fucked up possibilities. It is protecting one of my most wounded exiles, an inner child that has experienced such unexpected suffering. I have managed to communicate with the part and get it to relax, however this is perhaps the hardest part I have had to deal with so far. I found myself exhausted after the session like I had run a marathon.

Tate fans are saying its fake and ai generated

I would also like to see this one

I think they would be cute together

You are correct, however the conceptual stories you create about here and now are not absolute truth. To break out of the 'matrix' is to realise the illusory nature of these conceptual fabrications. Absolute truth is raw experience without conceptual fabrications that you mistake for reality.

Try fibonacci fap february and you will quickly change you mind on that. If you spend 99.9% of your life in the matrix but you escape once, that one time is the highest truth regardless of the 99.9%

when you see past the illusion, those 2 switch round.

I get bored after 1 wank, imagine an infinite number...

You aren't taking a meta perspective on this. If you made a movie about some dude having a non stop orgasmic overdose it would be pretty boring. If there are no limitations in imagination then there is no reason why physical pain can't be infinite love. Since logic doesn't apply. You are the one trying to put physical pain below an orgasm but this is a human perspective. From god's perspective there is no difference.

sounds lit, where do I sign up?

Yes its delusional but the entire ego is a delusion. If you wanted to see past delusion, you would surrender your ego to infinity and then suddenly all suffering would be revealed to be an illusion. The very notion of a self is a delusion so once you realise there is no self, how can suffering exist? there is no self to experience it. positive and negative, like and dislike are all projections of the ego. whether you like or dislike it, reality just is the way it is.

Yeah I will admit Its a lot to handle and its not for everyone. Unless you're crazy enlightened or on psychedelics, its probably not a good idea to think about these topics. I'm not there 99.99% of the time so it really fucks me up. But when I do see past the illusion, boy is it an incredible experience. Being aware of all the suffering that exists isn't particularly good for survival, which is why the ego is so good at making people feel separate from you. Which is why its best not to think about it XD.

Yeah I'll fully admit I'm scared of suffering, my human character is supposed to be like that. That's what the ego is designed for. But on an existential level I know that nothing real can be hurt. Why would I want to escape infinity? Infinity is the best possible reality. I would argue that your argument is copium because your ego doesn't want to comprehend that suffering is an illusion. The ego is built around suffering so to admit that there is no self to experience suffering is to see past the illusion of ego. when you fully surrender to infinity, you will see past the illusion but the ego will fight tooth and nail to survive which is why it terrifies you so much.

But from gods perspective, people in real life are things god is imagining. That is not to say that they are npcs, just that all of them are god playing with itself.

yes but that would be pretty boring from god's perspective.

Here's a different perspective. Consider the show game of thrones (ignore the last season) . People loved game of thrones because it was so brutal and unforgiving. The characters could die at any moment and the evil guys frequently won. In fact, the highest rated episode is the one in which a bunch or main characters get brutally killed out of nowhere. From the perspective of the characters in the story, the writer of the story must be evil for causing so much suffering but from his perspective he is writing on of the greatest stories of all time (except season 8 )