spiritual memes

Its actually mad how much of my reality is actually my projection. For example, the minds of other people are entirely a projection of my own mind. I imagine what their mind would be like. In particular I imagine their opinions of me based on subconscious beliefs about myself. Its actually mad because I spend so much time caring about what other people think of me and I always have flashbacks to embarrasing past events and I imagine peoples perception of me based on those events. But the reality is that none of it is real. I've spent years worrying about what imaginary characters think of me.

F

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FeD16vu_qQ I just had a spontaneous awakening experience, I was listening to 'In the aeroplane over the sea' and some of the lyrics really stood out to me: ''And one day we will die And our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea But for now we are young Let us lay in the sun And count every beautiful thing we can see'' ''And when we meet on a cloud I'll be laughing out loud I'll be laughing with everyone I see Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all'' I started thinking real hard about these lyrics and how life is fundamentally temporary and how amazing it is that I even exist at all. I realized that life is a beautifl experience and that the whole point of it was to enjoy its beauty. Suddenly a wave of emotions hit me and I started crying. After I stopped I realized I was completely in the present moment. All thoughts and worries about the past and future had completely dissolved. From this viewpoint I can see clearly how all my problems are all illusions created by the fundamental illusion of self, past and future. The mundane objects in my room shone with an otherworldy beauty. Things that would trigger my anxiety now have no effect. I know this isn't permanent but damn is it nice.

I've noticed an inbuilt flight response the permeates my entire body. It's been buried so long and deep that I just assumed it was the way I was. Its actually crazy.

Labelling is super useful. Although the thing that really changed my meditation practice is to embrace and actively enjoy the struggle. The uncomfortable sessions are actually the most beneficial.

ok I get why Leo does it now...

what's it like?

yeah i know, I just wanted him to make a video on porn addiction, sexual energy and nofap/semen retention since its a problem a lot of us srtuggle with

Like beating your meat to porn on 5-Meo DMT?

yeah, thank god for stage yellow

Yeah I've noticed that I lost a lot of my masculinity after transitioning to stage green. However in return the masculinity that was left behind is far more genuine and conscious.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the definition of alpha differs depending on your stage of development. A stage orange person would see a materialism and selfishness as alpha traits.

What you're describing is the ideal stage purple/blue male archetype which is quite interesting. A lot of stage orange would disagree with your definition.

@Tyler Robinson I mean I agree with you, but he does fill most of the traits you listed...

Damn, guess I should have listened to Tate after all...

I mean we already have Andrew Tate who is by far the pinnacle of healthy masculinity... I'm obviously joking in case you haven't realized...

Quite a few of these are red flags and signs of insecurity...

Holy shit, a fellow Porter Robinson fan!

I hear earth is a good place to look if you want high value women...

When I started this work, I was desperate to improve myself. I was unhappy with the way my life was and I knew I couldn't blame anyone else. I knew that I was the one manifesting my reality. I was tired of not being good enough. I was frustrated at my inability to do what needed to be done and to get the life I wanted. I was frustrated at my social awkwardness and my passive nature. I was bitter and resentful from constant rejections from the opposite sex, and I felt guilty and ashamed for feeling this resentment. I always felt like I wasn't masculine and dominant enough and hated my 'nice guy' nature. I felt completely alone and unloveable because of the innate way I was. I blamed my mind for the way I was and I started this work because I wanted to change. A lot of this work has helped me, but I still had these parts to me underneath the surface that would hold me back from the person I wanted to be. After about 2 weeks, of IFS therapy, I no longer see my dysfinctional parts as broken but as parts trying to protect me based on programming from my childhood. I realized that I was treating my traumatized inner child with the same harsh judgement that my parents, teachers and bullies did. In my desperate bid to prove my critics wrong, I had internalized their voices and directed them at myself. Well I'm done doing that. I deserve better.

I'd like to offer a different perspective. If i was so mentally fucked up that I was raping, killing and torturing innocent people, I would want someone to end my suffering instead of keeping me locked in a cage for 40 years. The death penalty is euthanasia since you would have to be in such profound states of suffering to resort to killing people. From god's perspective its like waking yourself up from an extremely fucked up nightmare.

I managed to reach my exiles responsible for low self esteem. This is the part of my inner child that was made to feel like he wasn't good enough and so these feelings of inadequacy was repressed and formed the foundation for many of my behaviours. For, example much of my motivation for self improvement was to improve myself so that I no longer am inadequate. In fact, most of my life is built upon correcting this feeling of inadequacy, from my desire to build confidence, to my gym and bodybuilding and my career. Even my motivation for spiritual work is to correct this feeling. This might just be the root of all my insecurities. After doing some integration work, I no longer feel some of my overactive protector parts.