Jed Haldir

I have meditated for serveral years but I don't really feel I make progress in some tangible sense, particularly during the session itself. I have mostly been focusing on stilling thoughts/emptying the mind/concentrating on being present. I have tried Vipassana but my mind still wanders doing it. I am looking into Kriya techniques but it seems so overwhelmingly complicated and straining. Well there is only so much time in a day and I can't spend 4 hours a day just to cover all differnt methods. I want to stick to one and make progress. Is Vipassana the way to go or Kriya yoga? Trying to feel more and more sensations on the body (Vipassana) makes a lot more sense and seems more achievable than "imagining" energy and manipulating the body, breath and mind in all kinds of straining ways which really makes no sense why it should do any good (Kriya yoga). @Leo Gura has expressed that Vipassana is too soft and Kriya is more potent, but I know of a person whose practice consisted of Vipassana and self-inquiry and that was enough to reach full Nirvana/enlightenment in about 7 years. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am frustrated, overwhelmed and guilted by not finding a spiritual practice that generates anything for me. I feel like all the promises of maturing spiritually and raising consciousness or whatever else isn't coming my way, and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm losing faith in this whole thing. I wish I never came into contact with these ideas because I will never be able to forget about it now.

I know it's not a joke. Or is it? Like foreal, I want to know from someone who actually has actual personal experience with this and not speculation please. How does sitting cross-legged and doing tongue gymnastics help me be a better meditator and ultimately more conscious.... or whatever. And Kechari mudra, rolling the tongue back up the nasal pharynx...? Like wtf is this good for? I'm humbly asking. The book by J.C. Stevens doesn't explain the logic behind this. Only that it's important to do it. @Leo Gura What's your experience? I know you will say "Don't make it a big deal." Well I am not making it a big deal. The book tells me it's important. How would I know? Non of these techniques would occur to me by itself in a million years. Thanks

Thanks for your replies everyone!

Can you detail what your experience has been like? Can you describe your progress?

In the J.C. Stevens book it says I should intertwine my fingers and rest them in my lap, and also have the palms facing down? How exactly is this accomplished without straining and being in an awkward position? If the hands are clasped with fingers interlocked and I sit in crosslegged with a pillow under and heel on the perenium, the natural positions of the arms and hands are such that the knuckles are pointing forward and the tumbs are on top, in other words the palms are pointing sideways (even slightly upward). Well?

Hello I have many questions about attracting girls, I am confused by some things. Help me sort this out. ( @Leo Gura Dad, I really value your input, please respond. ) Some principles seem to contradict each other, and some things to be a prerequisite for some other thing and so on. I would like to establish the details here of what the right sequence is. Sexual intent Firstly, you should show sexual interest to let her know your interest in her is not about friendship. But, should I communicate this in order to spark attraction in the first place, or to escalate further only after getting indicators of interest from her? Waiting for a green light sort of thing? Because on the other hand, you shouldn’t be too overtly sexual because it’s a turnoff. And yet I must show shameless sexual intent, own it. So what is the proper way to think about this? What must first be established, if anything, before using sexual overtones in my communication? Humor Secondly, how can I be funny, humorous and keep it light without being too goofy and become a clown, getting stuck in joking all the time? Because humor and lightness is great social lubricant in general and to build friendship. I feel focusing too much on being funny all the time may subtract from my seriousness and poise, confidence, appearance of being grounded and cool. So how do I use fun and humor the right way? Is it needed as a social foundation or can humor be used for sexiness specifically? So that she actually gets turned on and not just "entertained"? Is humor always sexy or only sometimes? How? Any insights and tips on this issue? Making a move Thirdly, what is the difference between showing I like a girl and coming across as needy? After all I must be proactive and tell her with my eyes and body and words "I WANT YOU", but if she feels she’s the prize it may turn her off. How do I show I want her without falling into the seller-role in the buyer/seller-dynamic, trying to sell myself to her? How do I communicate I like her without her feeling she’s got the upper hand? Thanks

So how do I succeed at work? Right now I get mixed signals, I think: We have a bit of a "teasing relationship", she has playfully whipped me (on my arm and I said "careful these are just polished" and she laughed, this happened twice), complimented my not particularly special bracelets, and once remarked we were "together again" after not working together for two weeks and I sensed she was blushing at that thought just a bit, I have pinched her now and then and she hasn’t recoiled from that. I joked about the color pink and nicknamed her Barbie and I think she liked that. So at worst am currently friend-zoned. How can I read the difference in her signals? On the other hand she’s a bit "bitchy", tried to make me clean up and do things for her rather than help her, has kind of curt tone sometimes and unimpressed expression on her face. She’s basically more experienced at our work and so sometimes I get "schooled" by her, which I think is bad from this game-point-of-view. I really wanna take it as far as I can with this girl.

Okay, feels good to hear. In this event, what is some good canned line or other response if she rejects a move? (I am trying to attract a girl at my work.) Related bonus question: How do I create an emotional moment to warm her up when I’m about to do a more explicit move, like pull her towards me or say I wanna play with her etc?

In short, I was at my work place when my cousins and lots of girls with them came by. The day after my cousin texts me saying two girls asked if I was single. I told my cousin to let these girls know I am interested in "meeting another single too." They were cute so I want to take the opportunity. Just want some light and easy meeting, and it could be either one girl. But I feel I should do something proactive and not just sit and wait for my cousin to mediate. On the other hand, it feels like a needy signal from me to call them directly (I mean why haven’t they done so themselves I they are serious?), and also should I then call both in that case? "Hey yeah I could date either one of you I don’t mind". Wouldn’t that turn them off?… Basically: two girls I don’t have the contacts to and won’t run into asked my cousin if I’m single, and I would like to ask either one out. What should I do?

HOLY SHIY YOU GUYS! I am at work now and THE GIRLS just came! With one guy! Haha they are in a room playing shuffleboard, I’m in the bar. What should I do?

How will they react do you think? ("What a needy loser / He's cool")

@Leo Gura Truth is I don't know how to meet lots of girls. And this fell in my lap. Why let it slide and do nothing? I think I have little to lose here, only thing I ask is how do I seize this (potential) chance? That I need to learn more game and dating skills I am painfully aware of, thank you very much. But that's anohter issue.

I don’t see how this refers to what I’ve said. They wondered if I’m single, that’s the best indicator of interest I could get. If they want to meet up now a week later, I want to find that out. I simply wonder how to….. : Well?

Yes but it isn’t true, I didn’t mention that I did interact with them (I was working behind the bar and helped them with drinks). So I have interacted with them and know their faces, but nothing else, (Context: I work at a bowling center with restaurant and a soccer team of 30 girls came to enjoy a Saturday night. The girls are mostly 18 years old, my cousins about the double, and then there were these two I’m talking about that are 21 (I’m 24). I served their tables and bar all night basically. I would recognize them and even remember what they were drinking. Then two days later one cousin who sat with these 21 years texts me: Several girls wonder if you’re single. I said that’s nice but they seemed young. Then she said two girls asking were the 21 years at her table. I replied they were hot, tell them I’m interested in meeting another single. Now it’s been almost a week since.) Well in general I want to be more abundant with girls, that’s for sure. But this doesn’t really help me right now with these particular ones. Here is an opportunity I want to capitalize on. Isn’t it a good thing if I do that? And here I sit with the above concerns. So how do I make the most out of this?

@Leo Gura Dad, what do you think?

Thanks for your input. I know I have a way of overthinking but am so worried about the outcome that I can’t help but calibrate before making my move. If it was just one girl, I wouldn’t think of it as much. But because they are two, I assume one wouldn’t want to feel replaceable with the other and so I might end up alienate both automatically. Or would contacting both at the same time actually "make me more interesting"? Alternatively I go with one first and let it run its course before moving on (should nothing develop). What do you think about this? Yeah I hear you say just fuck that but to me this seems like a real dilemma. I may end up having 0 depending on how I approach this, is my worry. And again, is there a chance of coming across as needy by initiating a contact, or is it rather let’s say "ballsy/attractive"? I’m afraid there could be a sense of me reaching out of nowhere that communicates to them "I can’t stop thinking about you why didn’t you come up ask me in the first place I would’ve asked you out then and there I know nothing about you yet wanna date you so what do you say?" …while they may have complete forgotten about it.