Julian gabriel

when what feels like my intuition takes over I often second guess it and then feel slowly like it may be fear instead. what's the difference between the two?

the biggest problem with meditation is that it’s boring. the lack of mental stimulation. the coolest thing about psychedelics is they are exciting, they are the opposite of boring. there’s a lot of mental stimulation. Any of you combine the two often? if so, how does that go for you? I’ve tried it, seems like the best way to raise the baseline state of consciousness would be to do this consistently.

Ever since the solipsism video was taken down and Leo changed his approach to a more cautious one, he has said he is working on a more advanced course to be released behind a pay wall so that only those who are sincere in their investment will have access to it. I do not understand why there has not been more discussion and excitement surrounding this prospect because it seems like it would be the culmination and the best of Leo’s recent work. I want to stay updated when it comes to this course so maybe it would be a good idea to create some sort of place on actualized.org which directly updates people about it and how it will be available to buy, maybe just a mega-thread of some kind where we could discuss the subject.

after watching the solipsism video and doing a bunch of shrooms and meditation I had a premature kundalini experience. do you guys have any information on what I could do to remove the energetic blockages in my bodymind to let the kundalini move upwards as it wants to? even though the kundalini experience happened a year ago I still feel a force within me trying to move upwards and clear my vision of assumptions. thank you.

conflict turns me on but compassion and love does not, i want to change this by first developing an understanding of why conflict turns me on. by conflict i mean dominating the other sexually by choking and slapping and degrading, or having them do those things to me. i would like to be turned on by being WITH them not ABOVE or BELOW them. i started watching porn at a young age and slowly started watching more and more violent porn.

yes

i am immature

@Leo Gura Thank you for responding, I look forward to the course, hope u enjoy making it.

it isn’t that you need mental illness, it’s that you need internal conflict, which often manifests as mental illness but doesn’t need to.

Lex has recently said that he’s looking for less mainstream people to come on his podcast. He seems extremely open minded and often speaks with people who he does not agree with on many topics. He’d probably find leo interesting, soooooo…….. Why not go on the podcast?

At first it was kinda cool, like a new toy to play with, a new concept, a new idea. Now it’s reality. now i talk to it and walk around with it on my shoulders. now it is me. it’s everything all the time. knowing that reality is only what i see and that there’s nobody else who can see it too, makes me feel sad in a deeper way than anything else ever has. idk what to do about it.

I am in my first Monogamous relationship now but i feel very trapped because i’m not allowed to do anything with other women. I would like to get as many perspectives as possible on the difference between Monogamy and Polygamy. I really like the girl i’m with a lot but i also really don’t wanna be with ONLY her, the problem is she won’t be with me whatsoever if i’m being polygamous.

when i’m looking at a thing (like for example a number or a letter or a car or a person or whatever) it seems strange that i can’t just change that thing into whatever i want to change it into, since it’s only occurring in my mind, as my imagination. what is preventing me from just manipulating the world into being whatever i feel like manipulating it into?

So reality is whatever i believe it is. But how do i change what i believe? my beliefs feel so engrained in my mind that it seems almost impossible to change them.

what do you think determines what we dream at night? WHY do we dream? Seems to me that they serve the purpose of helping us process things which impacted us a lot. For example if a family member dies we will probably dream about it a lot. But people also dream about flying a lot so yeah.... I got no clue wtf they're supposed to be sometimes, what purpose they're supposed to serve.

@Rafael Thundercat i know that once i get it i’ll just want to lose it. i’m just playing the game of going back and forth. its fun as fuck

@Leo Gura could u explain to me why u think reality is not whatever i believe it to be? My argument is that reality is absolutely relative, therefore it is whatever it believes itself to be. it could be that we are just using different words to mean the same thing. instead of “believe” i could say: reality is whatever i “think” it is.

the question this guy keeps asking is: why do people believe what they believe? i couldn’t come up with a good answer to this question. could you tell me why?

I have 2 friends who self harm a lot. One of them told me she hooked up with this guy, then felt guilty and dirty, then cut herself. I find it difficult to empathize with this behavior since I have no desire whatsoever to cut myself. she also wants to show me her cuts on her body Why do people cut themselves and how do u help someone stop doing it?

I've recently started meditating in the forest at night and it feels way more powerful than meditating inside or during the day. Anyone have any theories as to why it feels so much more powerful? It feel powerful in the way of clearing my mind and grounding me in my breath and silence instead of my egotistical thoughts. I have theorized that it helps me face my PRIMAL fears and this facing the primal fears, such as fear of being alone and fear of the dark clears the mind. Please let me know what you think, thanks

I hate the pull of sleep and food and using the bathroom and porn and girls because I feel like I cannot resist the pull of them. Why do I want to feel like everything which happens is my OWN decision? Why do I want to feel like I am NOT being controlled by something external?

I heard @Leo Gura say in one of his videos that he uses his arrogance to cut through bullshit, I also do this, and I also have been doing it since I was very young. What new ways of cutting through bullshit can I develop? So that I won't have to rely on my arrogance to do it? I do NOT want to continue to rely on this arrogance because it creates separation between me and others, and a feeling of superiority within my heart which is corrosive. Thank you

I uploaded this video a month ago of me speaking as honestly, openly, and vulnerably as I could for 30 minutes. I would be curious to see what any of you may think I could be missing in my view, or if you have any other observations of any kind. Basically, I just want to figure myself out and I want help doing that, thank you.

@StormLight overly trusting others

maybe spend a lot of time thinking more than u usually would before you do the retreat to get a contrasting affect. and also that could be a good way of making you feel tired of thinking by the time you start the retreat so maybe you won't crave thinking as much. you'll just wanna relax and enjoy the silence instead of feeling like you miss thoughts so much, cause you will have had you'll fill of thoughts