Seven7

Hello everyone I’ve been a big fan of Leo and his content for years and have frequently checked this forum though never making an account. Really has helped me in multiple aspects of my life. However I finally pulled the trigger and made my account because I am going through a really difficult time right now and need perspective and I guess also just some people to talk to Recently my (ex) girlfriend broke up with me. We dated nearly 3 years. I 100% deserved it as I was not a good boyfriend towards the end. We had a very loving and healthy relationship at first but the last 6-8 months I had been extremely distant and treated her worse. This stemmed from the fact that in all honesty, I wanted to have sex with other women. I wanted to be single. She is absolutely gorgeous and attractive but I couldn’t shake this feeling no matter how hard I tried so I knew it was ending, I guess my way of dealing with it was to slowly let it die(my mistake) instead of cutting it off. Anyways about last month she decided to end it. I was hurt really bad and we spent the last month in a toxic cycle of the breakup, but me clinging and promising to change, us getting back, but similar patterns repeating, so breakup again. All until last night when she went to a party and I called her wanting to talk but she didn’t pickup, causing me to freak out and call a couple more times until she did. Then she basically tells me it’s done there’s no chance and I can hear her friends in the background calling me a horrible person and a liar etc etc. All of this plus my prior freakout led me to have a bit of a mental breakdown and I cried while on the phone lol yes very pathetic. Then we said our goodbyes and I blocked her This is causing me a ton of distress. I have always been affected extremely hard by breakups. I had a 3-4 year relationship a few years ago and with that breakup I was an absolute wreck for months. This breakup I feel is hitting me even worse. She is an incredible high quality woman. Very authentic and has a lot of integrity. Extremely loyal and very beautiful and hard working. Really she was perfect, but I’m not trying to get her back, I just want to move on. I physically feel like I am dying. I get massive waves of really intense painful sensations throughout my body. My thoughts are chaotic and irrational. I keep wanting to breakdown and cry and I feel like I’m in a strange weird nightmare world. Very depressed and anxious, I dream of her 2-3 different dreams a night or during a nap. I’m super close to quitting my job right now because I can’t handle dealing with customers in my mental state. I know what I have to do is basically level up. Become a better person and also improve my life in other aspects like finance and physically. I’m huge on self improvement (I’m sure we all are if we’re here right) so that part I have down, and I meditate 1 hour a day 30 minutes in the morning and 30 at night. I also know I can get another girl relatively quickly as I’m pretty attractive, 6’2” and muscular but I don’t think that will help right now lol. Basically I’m just really desperate for help and for someone to talk to. Why do breakups affect me so hard? I’m sure I have some type of Abandonment issues. How do I work through those? How do I survive this friends because it legit feels like my entire sense of self is being brutally shredded away. Thank you if you took the time to read this!

Ahh man that description is spot on. It’s like an agony to exist, every single way you described it was perfect An entire year?? I cannot survive this for a year dude, it is unbearable. I will not make it

This was very raw bro thank you for these posts. I might do something similar. I feel SO similar to you and your descriptions. Going through the exact thing from the early posts

Hey guys, small update. Some of you may be disappointed in me lol but here’s what happened I think my ego rationalized to me that if I dedicate 100% of it to her and become exactly what I should have been, that she will take me back. I was ready to dedicate myself and be serious about this girl, no matter what. So after work I called her up and explained very thoroughly and genuinely how I felt, what I planned to do, and that I will take whatever response she has head on. After a lot of talking and some crying on her end she denied me, saying it’s too late, and that she physically cannot trust me at this time with words, and has accepted that it’s time to move on. It hit me hard but at that moment I realized it truly is finished and that is her feminine intuition doing it’s magic. Like @museumoftrees said above, it’s the universes way of teaching me a lesson. We talked for another hour, reminiscing on times we had, going through photos, and then we both said a strong loving goodbye and hung up. Then I went for a long drive and got home, drank a protein shake and some fruit, then wrote this up. Going to meditate some more before bed. I actually feel okay, I’m sad af but that was a good ending and the closure I needed and I think she did too. Tomorrow and for the next few weeks I know I will be really sad but this time it feels a little “lighter” so to speak. Not with the same crushing intensity. Thank you all for the help, really a beautiful community. I have a long ways to go with healing, but I’m definitely gonna be more active on here and try to give my perspective on things where I can help ??❤️

I need help with destroying that thought. My father actually went through a similar thing with my mother, and he went through a long process to get her back. Do you think it’s a generational thing I need to break? Mentally where I’m at is: this hurts so bad, I would literally do anything to get her back. And be the right man. With complete certainty. There is that little knowing in the back that tells me not to avoid this pain though but it’s just SO strong

I feel the most intense desire to get her back. Like I will do anything to get her back. In my mind right now I will 10000% percent become the right man. It’s insane how strongly I feel this lol. What can I do about this? Should I try and get her back? This feeling is too intense.

How do you deal with the guilt and regret? That is eating my alive right now. That knowing that I could have and should have done better but now will not get a chance. I keep re reading her last message and it just hits me so hard, it brings up feelings of being a terrible person, and reminds me of how selfish I have been throughout my life to all the people I love

Thank you brother, both of these videos helped a lot (especially that first one which I am doing constantly now) and I’m feeling lots of insights. Like the poster above said it seems like I am craving after what I don’t have to fill that void. My ex left me because I wasn’t loving her properly, and that’s because I didn’t love myself. Suffering is brutal lol. What a wake up call it is