I'm a 22 saudi girl. I need help with creating a strategy\plan to follow and realize my vision. I've been stuck for so long because I feel discouraged . I don’t want to know what’s the best thing to do in my situation.
I've been watching leo's videos since I was 18 I took leo's course\book list and ever since I've been working myself , and I've made good progress so far. However right but I'm facing hard time getting excited, motivated to follow my vision of my life because I feel I won't be able to ,
also I feel so frustrated because the way I live my life, I basically have to fake myself, wear a mask all time I can't be authentic because if I did I might get killed or a get ostracized and abandoned or even get to prison for example : I’m not a muslim so but I have to pretend to pray \ fast during ramadan etc andI can't think clearly ,my logical mind prevents me from creating plans and take actions (because of obstacles I’m facing ) most of the time I feel I won't be able to figure it out so why bother trying
I’ll not share my full vision here, but I'll share the things I need help with:
I have one more year before I graduate as far as my life purpose\career I don't have any problems I have a plan and I'm working on it.
I want long term intimate relationship:
The obstacle: I have to get married
- I don't want to get married
- I'd have to find someone that's not muslim and very openminded\conscious which is almost impassible ( there're some but it's hard to find them )
-I'd have to go on dates secretly and hide him from my family all the time and it's just add a lot of stress on my life.
Right now I'm isolated and I don't have friends because the huge gap of consciousness It's so difficult to connected with other people and I always have to wear a mask be careful of what I say\share ,it's possible to find conscious people friends here but they’re so rare and it will require a lot of effort and personally don't want to spend a lot effort on friends , I’m an introvert don't mind being alone but sometimes I need support\someone to talk to during hard times
I want live by myself\ move to another country:
I should stay in my parents house until I get married but families are different here ,some are very religious,close minded and some are not and they allow their girls to live move out and live alone ( very rare ) , unfortunately my family are villagers extremely religious, close minded , super low consciousness they're like children, but also dangerous I need to be cautious thats why it's harder to me to do whatever I want even with the new changes that took place recently ( I can travel , drive, my dad has no power on me anymore I can anything without his agreement ) it's impossible they will agree and allow me to move out unless I have a strong reason like work or something they can't even say no to or by force , if I did it by force there will be tough consequences my family's reputation will be affected, there will be a lot of conflicts and I might be abandoned.
I feel discouraged because I'd have to put extra effort than other people , sometimes I feel so hopeless and thatI will not ever be able to realize my vision and live my life to the fullest and sometimes I feel I'm so strong for making it this far ,in this environment .. it's really hard
What would you do if you were me ?
What would be the best\smart thing to do\focus on ?
