Growly

@Nahm "You got me in the feels, but then rained on our parade with “my subconscious”. " XDD "if there is said to be something which one is not conscious of, such as a ‘subconscious’, notice one is saying one is conscious of, this so called ‘subconscious’, and therefore the subconscious is not sub -conscious at all. Instead, inspect what it is you are aware of. " I like the way you write XXDD it makes me laugh. Yeah, I don't know why I said Subconscious for because I'm actually aware of myself because I used to consistently figure myself out every day 2 years ago and always watched actualized.org. I devoted my time to this CULT LEADER XDD. I'm aware of my attachments yet I don't try to resolve then because I'm scared of judgement from my family. I never told them my problems even though I don't need to because I can resolve them alone. The only thing I'm not aware of is politics XDDDD because i never gotten education yayayay. (“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it”. - Rumi “I’m too afraid” is a thought. How does that thought feel? “Ill procrastinate” is a thought. How does that thought feel? ”waste my time on unproductive low conscious things” is a judgement, a thought. How does that thought feel?) It feels good because of the productivity I accomplished in one hour but then after my dopamine hit is gone, I feel like shit and don't even want to return back to what I digressed from because I lost that excitement of learning English. I usually rot on quora or looksmaxing websites and it's unproductive and it just compounds my mental health more yayayay I'm always counterproductive ayayayay. 'If you allow yourself to see this, it is absolute that you feel the goodness that you are. There is no other possibility. Not in a past, or a present, or a future... there is no other possibility... because you are feeling, right now. You can not change this. You are free however, to focus on, or not focus on, to believe, or not believe, that which does not resonate with the goodness that you are, which can never come, and can never go, but just, is. " Yeah, I understand the goodness in me still. I don't care much about my past anymore after I consciously don't care anymore(I don't know if that makes sense tbh) The only thing I'm feeling now is perpetual anxiety and occasional depression due to the blackpill. You can stop at boredom, many do. But you are free not to, and expression is the way. Start at boredom, admit & acknowledge for yourself only, for your own well being only, that any and all conditions which you hold upon this moment as it is, are only thoughts, and focus can be shifted to seeing, hearing, breathing and feeling... and you are at peace, content, with this moment exactly as it is. It need not be different. It need not change. Question: Do you think it's counterproductive if you always think about the present because I think that's what low IQ people tend to do because they lack critical thinking skills like me which leads to being unprepared in life yayaya. That's very hard to do when your bored. I'm aware of my thoughts most of the time and let it be there because if I combat it, it'll just be insidious and make it worst. Whenever i'm bored, I usually go on YNC.com and watch gruesome videos just to use as an incentive to make me feel how lucky I am to not be born in third world countries. But that doesn't work now and it's just counter productive and insidious. Now I just use it as entertainment when ever i'm bored. "Paradoxically, when this moment is perfect as it is and you do not impress upon it your conditions, that it must change or be different, or contain any thing, substance, or experience... you indeed begin to feel quite hopeful and inspired. You feel the true unconditional nature of the love, the creator you are, and again, paradoxically, knowing you can let go, that you can put your conditions down and feel contentment, you begin to realize you can do so anytime you choose to.' "when this moment is perfect as it is and you do not impress upon it your conditions" Never heard of this technique. The only perfect moments I have is when I learn something new from English as of now because I'm learning on my own which gives me a good dopamine hit and knowing that I don't need teachers to help me yayaya. I'll try and not be impress of what I accomplish but instead let it be ayayay. "You can create, be & experience what you truly desire to. When & if life gets hard, you do not ‘freak out’, because you know the way from boredom to contentment is letting go of conditions held, and you can employ this knowing, expressing, and letting go anytime. When you say ‘it is this way’, ‘it is so & so’... it be’s this way, it be’s so and so. So too, when you say ‘mountain move’, the mountain will move. It will move out of your way. " Wow, I can understand what you're saying and I can see that happening If I pursue this again maybe. the only thing i'm afraid of is my anxiety because it hinders me greatly but I know the source of it. Boredom is the 2nd worst thing to feel and adding on my depression which makes me suicide thoughts but those are rare. Question: Do you think nootropics are good?

@Nahm "If you spend ten minutes a couple times a day with those one or two I think you’ll be glad you did. Be sure to release / express, and not to suppress (typically with the belief “something is wrong with me”)." Maybe I think I did a meditation practice similar to what you said 2 years ago and it did work because I didn't feel much anxiety anymore so I'll try again. "understanding the emotions you’re experiencing, vs misunderstanding or potentially misinterpreting and directing thought toward yourself, is incredibly relieving and empowering." I understand and I know where my sadness is mostly coming from. "The frame work, or thinking behind these methods is that anxiety isn’t something one has, and has to combat, but an experience one creates unknowingly from collective conditioning and self referential thinking. The more it is seen & understood how one is creating it, the less one does, and the more one feels the true nature of love, peace and happiness via alignment with the true nature." I think that's the source of anxiety and you explained it XDDDD "Making a dreamboard can be a real life changing experience specifically in relation to anxiety. What was interpreted as fear or nervousness is realized to be excitement and enthusiasm." I think I understand what you're talking about on the 2nd statement. When I learn new things, I get excited but I procrastinate after because Idk why but I do know why. Maybe my subconscious says: "I'm too afraid to change so I'll procrastinate and waste my team on unproductive low consicous things yayayay" somewhere like that xDDD I think it's pretty sad how I could of ascended when I was 16 yrs old and been persistent throughout my years but now I'm 18 wasting more time on petty things like facial attractivess and other attachments. I'll maybe be happier if I start smoking spritual related drugs or start a new meditation practice.

@GreenWoods I thought chakras were fake ngl. I tried to open the "third eye' When i was 16 yrs old but it ended up giving me a headache and I think that is too complex for someone that has stopped meditating for 2 years now.

@Bando I know but it's deep inside me now and it's just making my mental health worst than it was before I discovered it. I wish the dating scene was more fair so I wouldn't have to deal with this. The only thing that'll fix me is being model tier and pray that I grow to 6ft so I can feel better about myself.

bump

@JonasVE12 seems like a lot of frauding going on. It'll work but I think the best option is to get generic surgeries Pretty sad tbh

@Tanz 'im saying meeting women by walking up and talking to them ' Only works if you're 6+/10 'there are also obscure Hispanic apps out there in developed countries....'

@Tanz I guess what you're implying is go to third world countries and use dating apps.

@Bando Nah, I know that it's over for most non white men, especially indian people because of the stereotypes. What do you mean by High quality pic? Like frauding your face by finding the best angles?

You're so oblivious

@museumoftrees I don't know because I never had a chance to know but maybe i'm hispanic. I look kind of liked Tyson Ballou because of my eyebrows n' midface. My skin is light skin sadly. 5,10 18yrs old

"I am on my knees, god I ask you, the universe, PLEASE love me once and for all"

Just compare yourself to low status men and you'll feel better

@Peter Miklis Maybe, but I rather wait till I fix my failed features so I can feel like a god to these people yayayayayaay

18 Yrs old, non existent education with massive amounts of childhood trauma. The only thing I've gotten from school is bullying and lost 2-3k dollars from just bullying alone. I'm so sad how I have to deal with all the effects from my past and now I'm trying to relearn English because It's so fucking broken. Just to make it worst, I'm now an Incel and adopted their ideology which just compounded my situation ffs. I'm now fixated over my height, face, race and most importantly dick size yipeee. I use to wish I was white occasionally but I got rated 4.5PSl/8PSL from looksmax.me which made me happy a little bit but with ethnic tax 4PSL/8PSL because I'm ethnic. I looked up to actualized.org when i was 16 yrs old and i was actually ascendning literally and I've gotten so close to astral projecting but digress from it because of these intrusive thoughts i get everyday. I stopped watching actualized.org when someone criticized him and that made me skeptical about him and then eventually stopped watching him completely and that was probably the most regretful thing i ever did because it was the only thing that kept me motivated about life in general. Effects from my unlucky life: Intrusive Thoughts, Nightmares about my bullies(7-8 bullies in total) No education, Probably low IQ because I can't critical think anymore, Social anxiety, perpetual depression( Usually distract myself by playing games or learn english) Incel Ideology which gives me more reasons to just rope. What should I do? I just want to smoke spiritual related drugs so i can get away from this fucking sadness :(.

@Bando That's how I cope, by looking at average-below average people. I try to stop going on there but it became a habit now because I rotted for 8 months just browsing there. But at least I learned facial attractiveness. YIPEE!!! I try to be proactive now by learning phsyiology and English because those two alone can ascend any person's life yayaya. All these bluepill advice is good if you're above average only btw. I already woke up when I adopted the blackpill and made me more serious about my age and my knowledge which was a double edge sword but it was worth it(not really tbh) 'I know youve seen people who look worse than you get good results with women and appear confident, that should give you a hint that you can change your circumstance.' Solely depends on where you live sadly.

@Jacob Morres You're right about self love but I don't think I can love myself after I realize being ethnic ascribes you inferiority. I'm native american maybe but don't know for sure since my mom n' dad got divorced long time ago. I'm 5,10 thankfully yipee!!! I just wish I didn't discovered the blackpill or the redpill because that was very insidious and I used to think it was a joke until I saw the statistics. I discovered it when I was 17 and after, I started rotting for 8 months and that was detrimental to my cognitive abilities. Probably lost some IQ points maybe. I need some spiritual related drugs and nootropics to give me a boost in life and to finish up things because time is indeed running out for me. It is true that average-below average looking man can get gfs but that depends on the location and how they grew up. My school consist of mostly ethnic people and little bit of whites in California so it was easy here to get one maybe.

@Jacob Morres Yes but looks trumps all maybe height. Fashion and confidence is false because most people will generalize just by looking at his/her face which you probably know by now. flirting? Seriously bro? you need to be slight above average to make that work and they’re gonna think you are using PUA tricks so it’s not gonna work.

@Enlightenment I meditated when I was 16 and stopped a year later because It didn’t work tbh. Maybe it did or not but it just wasn’t worth it because I was mundane everytime I did it. i don’t go on those websites anymore because it’s insidious and it made me even more depressed than I was before I discovered the blackpill. Blackpill is truth maybe

@roopepa You right tbh. I think I know what i'm gonna do. I'm just relearning english for now and I'm slowly getting out of this incel mindset since I already lost friends from having this mindset. I don't know how people cope in life despite being average especially being low IQ. Yeah, I'll take those drugs in low doses but the problem is that I don't even know where to get them. I remember they are in the process of legalizing them in the US but that's going to take forever.

@Peter Miklis I wish it was that simple to deviate from this. I don't think it's weird for knowledgeable people to rate my face and I used to rate people's faces as well and recommend them practical surgery .I think it's good to get surgery If you're average since you can ascend quickly because you have a good base to start with unless you have severe recession. I know education is useless but It's bad that I have no good foundation to start with since I haven't gotten the knowledge for certain subjects like I'm literally at the bottom of the barrel and I thought Spiritual related drugs would help me ascend faster than if I was doing it without it. I was thinking of just popping an addy(adderal) or any practical nootropics to give me a boost but I don't know if it's worth suffering the consequence for it tbh. It's just painful to realize that I'm far behind in life. Maybe if I was born with good cognitive abilities then maybe I wouldn't in this position.

@Nahm what do you think of this youtuber, Andreas Carlund He has his own teachings and it’s called Timeless Education ?

@Preety_India How is that suppose to help? that's the most generic self-help advice ever no offense. Give me the most practical spiritual related drugs that will help me