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Hi everyone, In this post, I want to share with you guys an event that happened with me in the past and I want you guys to tell me your thoughts about it. By your thoughts, I mean, I want you guys to tell me, was my friend correct? What should I have done different looking back? Was I the wrong one? Is this normal? In the month of July, last year, I along with my friend had a fight with a gang consisting of about 4 to 6 people. I and my friend were only two people. So it was 2 vs 6. FYI, below are the details of how the story unfolded: It was 2 a.m. midnight and I with my friend, accidentally, broke into an apartment for the purpose to inspect property damage. We found a girl sleeping and we did not know about the girl presence in the apartment in the first place. However, the girl called her brother and her brother called 4 to 6 people to fight with my friend along with me. My friend was in the Frontline fighting and I was back so my friend got slapped 2 to 3 times and punch 2 to 3 times by them. However, they did not beat or hit me. For this, my friend charged my 400 Chinese yuan. Then again, in the month of September, last year, I was slapped by a friend of that girl's brother. We went to the university administration to solve it. Then again my friend came with me to the administration. Then he charged me 100 Chinese yuan because he took my side with me in the administration. So are these charges of money which he laid upon me was normal? What should I have done in retrospect? Thank you for your guys responses!

Hi, I am a third year medical student at the People's Republic of China. 🇨🇳 My family however lives in Canada 🇨🇦. Currently, I am in Canada living with my family. Recently, I am not able to adjust living in China because of various challenges like language barrier, not good financial situation, not good friends, people forcing me to smoke/drink alcohol and their are even some gangs in my Chinese university who want to beat me up. I have two friends in China but they also want me to spend 100 to 200 USD on them per month otherwise they say that they will not protect me from those bad gangs and they will tell to those bad gangs to beat me up inside the university Campus. However, I have already invested 30000 USD in my education in China so far. If I leave my education in China then 30000 USD went waste. So, I want your guys opinion on whether, I should continue studying on China or leave China to study in Canada and live with my family in Canada 🇨🇦. Thanks for your responses

Hi everyone, I want to share an incident and I want your guys opinion and advice on how to handle this situation. Basically, I had a bike accident on June, 2024 and I suffered so much blood loss due to the severity of the bike accident. My friend took me to the hospital and took me to my apartment plus he took really care of me like he gave me food on time and medicine on time because my one leg was paralyzed due to bike accident for one month. After one month, I recovered from the accident and I could walk well. As a result, he said that he wants to live with me for free for 3 years because of the help he provided me when he had a bike accident. Although, he has sufficient funds in his bank account to support himself financially to pay rent for an apartment for 3 years, he wants to live with me for free, without rent for 3 years. I do not have sufficient funds to rent an sole apartment alone for 3 years so I might have to share it with some roommates. I wanted to ask you guys that is this normal of him living with me for 3 years without rent or this is not normal/not okay? Currently, he is staying with me in my apartment without paying rent. Any opinion or advice to help me in this situation is helpful.

In Chine, the system works as give and receive. If someone does any work for me then they expect to recieve something in return

But he was taking care of me 24/7. He was with me 24/7 and right next to my bed 24/7. 3 years worth rent is 28800 yuan and one month expenses in hospital is 15000 yuan. Oh really? Is it dickish? How is it dickish?

@Sincerity He is asking for 15000 Chinese yuan because my current residence is in China and if I rent him a room to him for free for 3 years then it will basically make up to 15000 Chinese yuan and I don't have such money. To be honest, my mental health is deteriorating because he is asking me such money and is telling me that he should not have helped me because I should have paid him such money first and then he should have helped me in my road accident scene. For the full picture, he saved my money because if I was in the hospital then my medical bill would have been 15000 Chinese yuan to 20000 Chinese yuan for the treatment of my paralyzed leg during the road accident which he did at my home residence for free. Good point. So I give him 15000 Chinese yuan as his kindness?

@Salvijus FYI, I am a student and he is also a student. However, thanks for the reply and your advice.

Hi all, I hope you are doing well. I want to share an event with you guys which happened to me recently and I need your guys advice on what action steps should I take next time to prevent event like this happening to me again. I live in an apartment with four other people. We share a wifi router with 5 sim cards. So each person gets one SIM card from the total 5 SIM cards. I have been using the SIM card from the last 5 months. Just last week, I figured out that I am the main card holder which means that all the wifi package comes to my SIM card and then from my SIM card, the wifi package gets shared to the other four SIM card. This is how the system of wifi works in China. I also figured out recently that the SIM card which I am using as the main card holder is not opened on my passport information but on one of the passport information of the other four people. The other four people knew about all this but I did not know about all this and just figured out about all this recently. The other four people actually hid this information from me. Some of the harmful ramifications which I could have face in the future because of this would be that the police could have caught me and put me in jail for using a SIM card on someone else information as you guys know their are many risk of an individual opening a SIM card on someone else passport/information and not his own respective passport/information. In response to this, I created my own SIM card seperate from the other five shared SIM card on the shared wifi router. My question from you guys is that what kind of action steps should I take next time to prevent situations like this happening again and I should not be made a fool again or get scammed again? Thank you for your responses

Hi all, Yesterday, I approached a girl and I had a little chat with her. I asked her how she was and I was engaging with her. She seemed to be quiet interested in me and we were getting along. She even walked with me back to her home. For Your Information, she did not know English very well and I know English so we had to rely on a translation software in instagram. However, at the end, I text message her on Instagram to show me some pictures of her family and some pictures of her house from inside. She then text messaged me this: Your question today made me feel a bit invasive of privacy, and I don't really want to chat or meet with others while preparing for the exam, so I deleted your Instagram account first and don't add me. Wishing you success in your studies, thank you. My question from you guys is that can you tell me what was my mistake and how can I approach much better in the future?

@Consept Yes, the problem is solved. I got the advice and I will never ask anyone photos going forward. Thank you for your advice.

What kind of questions do you think I should ask and what kind of action step do you think I should take instead of this? @Princess Arabia What does a girl signal when she always run away from me the next time she sees me?

For Your Information, it was not even a first date. It was my first approach and my first time talking to her.

I was just looking for ways to engage her. After asking her all sort of questions, like what is her major and how old is she...I ran out of asking questions. So, I asked this question with the idea that it would engage her but I was wrong.

@Consept How to make a girl feel safe and comfortable around me? How can I improve this part of my game?

Are girls very protective of their family? I have notice in my interactions with girls that whenever I ask a girl, especially Chinese girls because I live in China about their family then they get triggered and stop talking to me. Also, the next time when they see me, they run away.

Sorry for not being clear. What I mean is: I apologize again for not being clear. What I mean is that my roommate lied to me so that I can put my blanket outside because my roommate knows that I am loyal to him and if I had put my blanket outside then my roommate friend will sleep in my blanket. This means that my roommate is exploiting me with his lies because his friend is sleeping instead of him. My question from you guys in this thread and the thing that I need help on is that can you guys suggest me what measures should I take in the future to make sure that people such as my roommate for example in this scenario does not exploit me? For clarity purposes, I will share these messages which he sent to me after the call and I will provide translation to you from urdu to english language ny apko key ne di mery kamry ki (urdu language)= He did not give you the key (English) Ab main kahan per saoon ga (urdu language) = Now, where will I sleep? (English) Sleep kahan karon ga main (urdu language) = Where will I sleep? (English) Us ny kaha hai main xxxx ko key dy raha hoon (urdu language) = He said that he gave the key to you (English) Kindly apky pass jo pehly wala chota blanket hai woh to bahar rakhty jao (urdu language)= Kindly, leave the first small blanket of yours outside (English) Aj raat main us main guzara kar loo ga, kindly (urdu language)= I will sleep tonight in that blanket which you will leave outside for me, kindly (English)

Hi everyone, I hope you all are doing well. I want to share a situation here that happened to me with my roommates and I want your guys advice on how to deal with my roommates. I am currently living with 1 roommate in a two bedroom apartment excluding a living room. For the sake of context, I will name my this one roommate T. It was late at night when I returned to my apartment with my friend and T friend was in my apartment. T called me and told me that to put my blanket outside so that T can sleep for the night in my blanket. However, T never returned that night and I know this because when I returned to the apartment early morning, I did not see my T in the apartment. For Your Information, I did not leave my blanket outside for my roommate because I was feeling that something wasn't quite right. After this, I realized that my roommate lied to me so that I can put my blanket outside and my roommate friend can sleep in it therefore making my roommate to exploit me. What can I do in the future to make sure that people such as my roommates cannot easily exploit me? Thank you Yahya Yousaf

Hi all, I hope you all are doing good. I want to share my current situation regarding my university education and I want your guys opinion on this. I am a second year medical student in China and my family is in Canada. My family in Canada wants me to come back to Canada from China to stay with them. However for that I need to quit my degree and all the money for my first year tuition fees and second year tuition fees as well as living expenses which I consumed of my parents for the first two years of my university will go wasted. So what do you guys think that what should I do? Should I come back to my family in Canada or should I stay in China to complete my six year program degree? Any opinion on my next steps will be appreciated Thank you

Sorry for not being clear over their. For Your Guys Information, my parents don't want me to finish this university degree because they think that their are so many other degrees which are better than a Chinese medical degree and I think that they perceive me as a small baby who can't live alone by himself away from family.

Thank you guys for all of your advices

Hi all, I hope you all are doing good. I had this quick question. For self-actualizers or people who are into self actualization, is it recommended for such type of people to live alone in life or should they live with people in life? Thank you Yahya Yousaf

Hi all, I hope you all are doing good. I want to share here a personal incident that happened to me in my home and I want your guys third person unbiased opinion regarding this incident. I am a student and I am living in an apartment away from my parents with three people. Two of my roommates are nice to me and treat me with respect. However, the third person does not treat me with respect and always scolds me who I will call S in this post for the sake of context. I mean that S always calls me bad words like ass-hole and dumb ass person. He gaslights me, interfere in my personal life, touches me uncomfortably on the face/neck, tells me bad things about myself, he is very manipulative, he takes my things without my permission and he tells me to bring his things for him such as a glass of water or mobile phone which he is lazy to bring. I got so frustrated and heart broken with his behavior so I complained to my parents regarding this who are back at home. I gave S phone number to my parents and my parents sent a voice message to S on WhatsApp. In the voice message my parents basically told S that he should not talk with me and that I should not talk with him neither in good things or bad things. My parents threatened S that they will not spare S and they will come to S wherever he is living. My parents told to S that my parents should not hear any other complaints from me regarding S otherwise my dad will not spare S. After the voice message, S called me to his room and told me that we both will not talk with each. S told me that he did not forward this voice message to his family and if he did forward it then the issue will be much bigger. S told me that my parents did not talk with manners and his family is much more well mannered than my parents. At the current moment, my dad is asking me the principal number and my two other roommates number to talk with them regarding this incident. Can anyone give me advice or suggestions for what I should do regarding my situation. Any response will be greatly appreciated. Thank you Have a good day

Thank you so much for your response!

Hi all, I hope you are doing well. I wanted to share a scene that happened with me recently. Today, my roommate asked me if I am hungry and if we should cook food. I said that we will begin to cook food when my friend arrives because my friend told me to let my roommate know to not cook food till he arrives. Then my roommate asked me the same question again and I gave the same response again. My roommate asked me the same question the third time and I gave my roommate the same response the third time. After this, my roommate yelled at me and told me to,"Mind my language and to talk with manners. " I ignored him. I want some third person opinion on this scenario and let me know whether my reaction was a healthy one or not a healthy one. Thanks

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