ll Ontology ll

And a lost dogs home shelter I want to start one of those, and cats too. All animals that need healing. We gotta fix so many things on this planet together, all of us

Mediaeval part of me wishes we still had gladiator games, fight to the death kind of thing. Just go all Spartan. I want to have coffee like a nice fucking black creamy coffee in a hot air balloon while going through the clouds overlooking the green snowy mountains you know, with the heat above flowing into my face to offset the breeze

There's really nothing else in this life for me. True love or true hero, the latter is the only way I have the balls to betray my heart on the former and the former is the only thing I can find in this universe worth pursuing. Thus it is inevitably both unless she forbids the latter but then what will she nag me about when I'm not occupying my attention there. Write books and music perhaps, not too much violence or dangerous positions of any kind. Create businesses that change the face of the planet. But then if she doesn't want me to strive for too much power, find a place in the mountains together to be alone with one another for the rest of our days however she pleases. I could write a jokes book to share witticisms with her just to get her to giggle at the right moments, we could grow our own food someplace, even setup our own water. Start a community even if that's what she wanted. Anything to make her happy. Until then I have no choice but to work towards heroism with love. It's in my genes, it's been pressing into me for many years. Combined with my reasoning skills about life I can't mellow out without a woman, especially not under cultural values. I have to destroy something with class or make something of sophistication whichever brings about the greater level of creativity. What am I creating and destroying and what for? I don't care for fame, status or anything of this nature out of helping me find love if that's the place I need to look to open up my options. This is who and what I am. Only thing godly about me is my wit, everything else is merely courage. With all my intelligence and creativity, it's nothing without my heroism and the woman I love. I've thought of Polyamory but that's an open question at this point something that would be discussed with a potential partner. I've thought about 50 love relationships with women around the world while being a hero of my choosing of some sort. But as I say that, even though we could negotiate something seems odd about that if I was talking about this with someone that I felt I was really compatible with. Even if I didn't feel like it was a betrayal it would just be like what for, it's just extra periods I gotta deal with other than the benefit of alternating between in their off periods. Plus if I have multiples then at least some of them will as well so what does that mean about my relationship with the dudes don't want to be looking after them in anyway haha. Regardless, I'm here to die for love. I am here to be selfless. For her, for everyone, life or all three.

Title: Her and Me, again free to be, all of life but I, must continue to make mine Lost in my own nirvana with no one to play with Free willed and free spirited, no ordinary thought crosses my mind Blind to the cultural times, I can only see my own visions of crime Speaking to the people on the street, oh it’s good to meet Another version of my self, like picking up a glass off the shelf But the way we ask who am I, we do not nearly see, eye to eye An object in their minds eye after a glance, a phantom to barely revisit in memory several thousand steps later This thousand yard distance that others speak to me with, even with a cheerful smile they cannot grasp my consciousness Sitting at the bottom of the ocean and the middle of the universe Sucking and converting all of the worlds informational contents into creative play The touch of a woman’s hand, calms my mind and for a few moments I am able to forget this dream that others cannot capture with me For a couple of hours, she only feels me and I her, I allow her, inside my energy even if she cannot hold my mind As I stare into her grey blue eyes, the moments gone from both our perception of time Into our energetic universe we create, this experience of intimacy, quietening the release of the inability of my parents to provide me with any outside the most inconsequential periods of my life where I felt the jolt of my mothers or fathers calming energy in an unexpected hand on the shoulder or hand in hand, but in hugs I could never properly feel their heart sync with mine, I had to get used to the only rhythm I could create But in this feminine energy she is completely surrendered to me Wanting me whole so I give myself fully Because I know she wants this experience I know she needs it This feeling of love she’s come here for, even if, only for a couple of hours So she can forget the darkest hours of her day And remember me when I’m no longer around The need to speak to me late at night until the early hours of the morning She feels my energy, but she cannot adequately hear my mind A safe presence enough I provide, a protective duty I follow Free willed and free spirited I abide, to the strongest frequencies of reality I try not to push aside Who needs me now I am there, but who am I, I do have this stare This renegotiation with reality, a reformation for continued tranquility In the quiet of my mind, a storm rages for the greater sublime A reaching to know, but oh too I must let go Into her arms for these few moments Awaken her mind as she peers into mine Hollow depths she cannot reach, for I am still searching for my peak This reason to hold her tightly, will fade by next morning as we say goodbye To her, I do admire, her calm fragile energy not yet burned by anyone and not yet Me Protect her I need to, from my own fire For so innocent has been, her desire Love cannot be between us, I can only give love and her too, and when the time is right, let the paper boat float away to the bottom of the sea and the paper aeroplane the middle of the universe You. Are. Free See you again soon, and reality I continue to accept this war with you again and again, with honour and fight, all my might To my, Greatest heights, with love and mercy, to the latter, for only those that deserve it For life, must continue to find its highest end with and without me but while I'm still here My highest skies as well Flight

Personal Aphorisms: Mature enough to know now, that my heart and mind communication is no longer with any one phenomenon or experience, but all of reality. To my heart, we have the synchronisation of those ephemeral and wavelength beats: passion; fearless dominance; protection; tranquility; flow. To my mind, the mere relational attunement in open space, anything but awareness, out of trace. Together we have an infused state of creativity, apart we have mere devotion to the part arriving to the whole. Maker, maker, make it right; truth confides in mind, heart confides in truth. Artifice's and logical interfaces, tools to make the world and its analogical inverse, make me whole, and because of it, the universe a little more too. Who is the higher mind without the godly heart, the higher heart without the godly mind? Split the difference but don't tear apart, find yourself, beyond BraveHeart.