empathysarah

...Love you mom... (we just had the best conversation we've ever had in our entire lives) I told my mom about the therapist I've been seeing and I asked her if she wanted to come with me. She said yes! (so many conflicting emotions but we'll go with the last), I know what I said above doesn't sound like I love my parents much but its just because I have a lot of unresolved tension, conflict and wounds there. I feel so much happier now! We've got a lot of issues and I have no idea where this is going to go also I realise its going to take months to years for us to really bond but this finally gives me some hope.

I want to find a guy that wants to really know me, i just feel like I'm used for sex. I want 1 guy. I want true undying love. A guy that will devote himself. I want to get married. I want that deep connection. I want someone really similar to me. My fake friends, my fake life. This is all shit.

shit no tampons... ---- cotton balls ladies ----- I know right but its all I have (no toilet paper either.... yep)

I earn thousands of dollars as an instagram model per month. Go me. But still... This empty void

Worshipping your cock is my honour You are so fucking creative Mother Earth blessed your loins well I want your cum all over my face Give me all of that energy you have, show me how you can transform my state with it My heart pulsates and my mind rushes with fantasy as you whisper into my ear Treat me like a slave you gentlemen, stop being such a fucking gentlemen Enter into the possibility of the universe that allows us to explore anything and everything together Love

@wwhy you have no idea what its like to read a comment that is irrelevant to me

I feel so emotional every day. I just needed to get that off my chest. Like, did you even notice me in our consciousness space when I had my back turned to you? You were meant to mirror my heart but instead you mirrored my fear of abandonment.

@Karmadhi we are so much more susceptible to trauma. Guys are born with more testosterone along with other social norms that aid them more easily when it comes to handling trauma. You have no idea what its like to deal with dissociation, feeling unsafe in your own body, extreme empathy and sensitivity. We are the bosom of mother earth, these are such crude comparisons between men and women. It totally neglects many other contexts that make a woman and a man themselves both beyond and inside their trauma, which are almost two or more different beings depending on who you are.

This whole entire discussion just doesn't resonate with me at all; it feels so alien to me

You told me you wanted to be with me for the rest of my life and this is how you repay me now? Why can't you make up your damn mind? I feel like you're one of my special students for Christ's sakes You never repaid your debt, what have you done? Do you know how long I've been waiting for you, do you have any idea what I've gone through to reach this point? Huh, to think I would waste all that time on you, you're not even that great. I see myself above you now, in a way I'm glad you're gone. Just get out of my head you don't belong here anymore. GET OUT! Go on with your fake life for all I care

Received whatsapp message from guy from last week... Ummm... pass.

All of this can be held in absolute cause and effect, I feel like I'm watching all of this from the beginning and end of the universe simultaneously

Who are you? What makes you think you know me at all? You have no idea what its like to be me, what I've been through If you could live in my body for a day you'd question your entire reality To have that warped experience, to feel inside of me I want you to but you can't I need a man to, a man who wants to know me deeply on the inside out, someone that will hold my heart as deeply as his lungs will be crushed at the bottom of the sea I am sorry I cannot let you in I want to, but I'm scared My sailor boy

My father, so cold and aloof Watching him coddle my mother with the affection I never received nearly as much I was jealous of her, my mother designed to protect her daughter Now I just look down on her slightly, with aloofness and distance that deep down I wish she occupied with attention more than she did attention on her own mindless gossiping To make me into a real woman, the way she would have wanted a daughter to be

Antarctica is my favorite destination on earth when I am around you The dream of you dead like a warm blanket The pain you caused me, you have no idea how many vengeful fantasies I've had