Gesundheit2

I don't think there's any guy on here who disagrees with this. In fact, I think this is exactly what we are trying to learn and master and all of Leo's advice that I have read so far seems to be pointing into this direction. It's in the heart of all the advice.

I agree. I am never against women offering their perspective in a rational healthy way like you are doing right now. Men can be biased sometimes, so we need to hear your voice. Of course it's not a coincidence, but that doesn't automatically mean women are right and men are wrong. Maybe there's a deeper reason. For example, statistically, most of the women who get offended and disagree with the advice are over 30 years old, I have at least three users on my mind right now. Maybe they come from a different era where attraction worked differently, or maybe they're traumatized, or maybe something else. Perhaps that's a topic worthy of further exploration.

I can't speak for everyone, but I have no interest in bending over backwards to please any woman online. I really don't care if women trust me or not, and I don't care about containing them, either. None of that matters to me because I'm not trying to attract, just speaking my mind. I'm different with the women I deal with in my life, and they deserve all that and more, especially the closer they are to me. Here I deal with everyone like I deal with a random stranger regardless of gender, even though I try to be more careful with women because they act super sensitive. I see that too. And I agree. There shouldn't be a lot of gender based discrimination, but if you notice, there are apparently two major parties here; Men trying to get laid vs. Women not liking the advice and trying to change it. So it isn't much about the gender, rather more about two clashing agendas. Some women perceive the advice here as evil and manipulative, so they use all their techniques and try to nullify and contradict the advice. Emerald was a huge antagonist, for example. And she used shaming, blaming, villainizing, playing the victim, claiming experience and authority, misconstruing statistics, appealing to consciousness, appealing to truth, and other psychological techniques to manipulate us into the feminine man role. She probably had good intentions, though. I really enjoyed reading her posts and sometimes arguing with her.

Congratulations, man! And here's to a perfect health, free from all sorts of poisons!

Clarity & Conclusion: Apparently, I have a set of interconnected "problems" that cause me trouble interacting with some people. I rarely have problems with people nowadays, but it doesn't hurt to turn this rarely into a never. Here's a list of my problems: Extreme aversion to victim mentality, which trigger me to try to dissolve it every time I see it. I trained myself to be 100% responsible, so it's a habit that I can refine, because in the end it's a good habit and I don't want to get rid of it, but it sure has its negatives at the extremes. Joseph Maynor always stresses that everything has pros and cons. Nothing is absolutely positive or negative. The yin is the yang, and the yang is the yin. Tendency for crossing boundaries, which tends to increase even more with people who let down their boundaries for some reason, which is another reason why I don't like people giving me special treatment, because I have an unconscious tendency to abuse it. Looking back, I probably picked up this habit unconsciously from my parents who are always super involved in everything we do. My parents aren't good at people, and so it's no surprise that we struggle too. Assuming that my perspective is obvious to everyone else, which time keeps proving that it rarely is the case. Most people aren't as transparent and direct as I am. Combined with the two habits above, this can become disastrous sometimes. So, I assume my perspective is obvious, then I see a hint of victim mentality, so I try to push my perspective down people's throat, and when they push back and resist, that activates my boundary-crossing tendency, and you know the rest. Solutions: Distinguish between displaying your opinions strongly and pushing your perspective down people's throats. Understand that people are at different places than you are, and rarely anyone shares your opinions. But don't feel weird or alone, maybe you're just too advanced for the normal person. Understand that people have different abilities and capacities for learning. Learn to be more detached with your approach. Don't try to help unless you're asked to. You can't help anyone who is unwilling/unreceptive/not ready. Learn to communicate better, and spend more time trying to read the energy of the other person. I already have this installed, but more of it doesn't hurt. That being said, I think I already got it all fixed, so I won't be having any more problems. Watch me and see. Healing/Correction happens at an instant because time is an illusion. Maybe it's a unique ability that I possess and others don't, but it sure is a great ability. To a new life, absolutely free from social struggling.

You're not awake, Leo. You're just privileged and delusional. It doesn't matter if most other privileged people are more delusional than you are. You're still not awake. You think you're God, but that's just a projection of your privileged situation. You say other people are God too, but in reality you think that they're an extension of your "Godhood". You're not God, not even a spiritual ego. You're just a dude who's wearing spiritual ego as a mask as a survival strategy. And you're unaware that you are that.

I'm not heartless nor insensitive. I would have talked very differently if it had happened last night, but the story is 11 years old, for God's sake. However, I do realize I was perhaps more "logical" than I should have been, so I'll work on that in the future. But the problem you guys have and do not see is that you think you're being helpful by acting all-supportive and emotional, but in reality you're not doing anyone here a favor. 11 years and still unresolved trauma. Why? It's because no shift in perspective nor a recontextualization of that experience have occurred, not because there's not have been enough virtual comforting and support. Yeah, man. Shit happens, so what? I have endured a 7 years long civil war, and I was on the brink of death a number of times, literally escaping sudden death or getting permanently handicapped/dismembered by a slight margin for at least three times, once it was an air strike, and twice it was a mortar bomb, one of them hit the very next room in the neighboring building while I was asleep, and the other completely destroyed my bedroom when I went to the toilet. That's a plethora of PTSDs for ya. But you don't see me talking about that all the time, whining and complaining every time the topic of war is brought up. You may rarely see me hinting at it in my journal if you ever read it, and it might still be somehow reflecting on my behavior till this day, but you don't see me running around crying about it as if it's the end of the world. Because of how I often conduct myself, most people assume that my life is perfect and they treat me as a normal person, so when I make a mistake or talk inappropriately they respond like they would with a normal person, which is exactly what I want because that's how you return to being a normal person. I have evidence for this because I have improved in less than 5 years and am still improving, even though I endured an actual war that lasted for years, let alone the rest of my traumatic past. The truth is that I deliberately try to avoid telling my stories especially here because I know how everyone will respond. You will all try to comfort me virtually and say that you're sorry and all that empty hippy nonsense, and then I can act like a tyrant and use my stories as a defense to deflect any criticism by appealing to your morality and emotions, and you will give me excuses and leeway for being an unconscious asshole (the last one actually happened before with a mod, and it reflected poorly on me in retrospect). Hippies are so easy to manipulate. But you know what? I don't want any of that. It means nothing to me. It's not just useless, but also even harmful. Because it will keep me stuck in the past like a victim instead of helping me move on forwards towards a better future. When you tell me you're sorry I had to go through such and such, what you're communicating to me is that I have been abused, so I am permanently damaged and can't recover let alone overcome and improve, so I shall receive special treatment for the rest of my life and cater to people's sympathy instead of my own authority, and that's how you destroy every chance for recovery for me. I told some of my story once and people started giving me special treatment, which I truly hated and regretted. So by all means forget about my story and simply take the moral that I'm trying to communicate here. That a lot of victimhood is actually a mentality that you should be careful not to reinforce, because the more you reinforce it the longer it will stick with you and the worse it will get. There needs to be some balance, which I admit I might have lacked in my approach, so again I'll work on that. I believe that every experience is a learning opportunity, not a scar that you take to your grave. Take responsibility, try to see things from a different perspective, express yourself but don't take it too far, don't take things personally, etc... That's how you heal yourself and grow. At least, that's what is working for me. It's not a sweet pill to swallow, but medicine is not always sweet, and life doesn't always work like we want it to. Don't underestimate the power of mindset. It can make or break you, and I know people who got broken for much less than either of our cases here. That being said, I'll take a break from posting for a couple of days in which I will reflect and try to improve. In the meantime I will also be reading the rest of this thread if there's gonna be any. Ciao for now. I agree. That's a healthy attitude.

Guess My Number Pig Game Two mini-games I made a couple of months ago with the help of an instructor. I used HTML, CSS, and JavaScript. Maybe I should return to this and make some more. Maybe I should also optimize them to work better on smaller screens.

Over and over...

@Knowledge Hoarder Leo's shadow side turned out to be more diverse than I expected ?

If he had offered you a drink, would you have thought it was poisoned?

Nonsense. Even the top celebrities talk and sing about swagger. Swagger basically means playing all the games perfectly while pretending that no games are being played at all. It's the same when women wear make-up, follow strict diets, do cosmetic procedures, then pretend that they're all real and natural. It's only to strengthen the illusion and create a better experience.

That's quite the plot-twist

Lol.

I may have been way too careless and insensitive. Thanks for the friendly note. I will work on improving that in the future. Although, I still won't take back what I said.

No need to suppose. I confirm this to be the case. Everyone wants to have sex. It just so happens that women control the market these days. So women have become the bosses and men the employees. So of course from a woman's perspective it seems like desperation to hold on to every chance for sex because they have all the sex. But from a man's perspective it very much seems like getting a promotion and only a fool would throw that away. In fact, you can see how an employee can get crazy and make parties if they got a very little promotion after years of hard work, while bosses can lose millions in a minute and not care. It's the same thing here. Not much rocket science. But of course no woman has empathy or understanding of the male struggle, because they're too selfish to care, so that's why they're judgemental and insensitive and cutthroat. And that's fine by me. I accept the game as it is. And I don't care about the labels.

Fine by me. Oh wait, she's playing footsie with me in my bed. Kids play innocent footsie too, right?

It doesn't make any difference to me why women play their games. Some play hard to get simply for attention, some for selection, others for God knows why. For me, I still can't go up to a girl and ask for sex directly, which I sure would love to. And what's up with the judgemental/misogynistic terminology? Should I report this or is it acceptable if a woman uses it?

Oh yeah? Well, that doesn't convince me as a judge. I'm imitating a courtroom setting where she would have to defend her case against a lawyer. I can sympathize with her, but in the courtroom facts weigh more than feelings. Let's look at the facts again: She went home with a dude, which means she trusted him at first. Then she changed her mind and withdrew the trust when she was alone with him. Suddenly she became afraid. However, she didn't act like that. She didn't stand up to leave. Rather, she stayed. So he pushed until she gave up. I'm not saying that's perfectly fine. For example, I haven't and wouldn't push that far. But it's also not rape. And that should be made clear to her and everyone, because anyone could be in her or his shoes. The lesson for me is that I should not push too far when the woman is not receptive, but if I did and she consented, then it's not rape. At best it's a grey area case and I could easily get myself out of it. The lesson for women would be to be decisive and clear that no intercourse is happening under any circumstances, and you communicate that by getting up and leaving. Now if the guy stopped you and forced you into sex, that would be rape. It's as clear as day.

@Etherial Cat I'm just playing that dude's lawyer in case you chose to file a report at the time. If you have no answer, then the case is closed.

So you're at that dude's apartment and you just want to stay the night, but you're not willing to get up and leave if he's disturbing you. Doesn't seem like a firm no to me. It seems like you chose to exchange sex for sleeping there instead of going back home because it's easier.

One firm no would have been enough. See, lots of women say no in a nilly willy way just to test a man's perseverance, so how should a man distinguish between a test and an actual rejection? I am all for that. And I am for women developing their boundaries and communication, too.

I'm sorry but it's not that obvious to me. How exactly was it rape if you consented? You didn't say no. How should he know to stop? Had you said no, then yeah I am 100% with you.

On what basis?

You can't become a grown-up if your child needs aren't met. Like, you can't buy stuff if you don't have enough money. But also don't get stuck on getting your needs met like Peter Pan, or like Elon Musk. There's a fine line between addiction and satisfying unmet needs. Don't try to kill the child, and always keep looking up to becoming a more responsible person. Return to the real world. Find the right balance for you. It's a simple concept, but it's not always easy to actualize.