Gesundheit2

Apparently, my mind got exposed by a dude called Eisenhower. Wait, maybe we live in different realities.

Life is so complex, yet so simple. But only if you're awake. Otherwise, it doesn't matter what you think, cuz you don't really understand life either way.

Lol.

Break up. Forget about her. Find someone else. Never do long distance again. Ever.

Spiritual Ego - The Damnest Thing.

@Leo Gura This isn't a discussion about awakening. It's a discussion about the responsibility of handling inputs from reality, and the desire to deflect and delegate it all onto you. They clearly don't want to take responsibility in how they feel about your style, so they think you should change and accommodate to their expectations. Clearly a victim's mentality. But I guess their point could be that some people are vulnerable and could follow you blindly with that style and it might hurt them, but the question remains: If those vulnerable people don't follow you, will they follow someone better? I doubt that. And I would say this specific discussion about your communication style doesn't really matter, because it's impossible to please everyone. You could become a care bear and you would still get criticized, or at best your message will not reach the people it is reaching now. We already have plenty of Eckharts and Adyashantis. Maybe we need more Leos.

Sometimes I feel very grateful that I am poor. Maybe this is a lesson for me. I think about how stupidly I would have been spending my money based on my past naïve mindset. The thing is that I naturally feel attracted to narcissistic/empathic type people, and so that's probably where I would have been spending my hypothetical money. I just stand in awe at how my emotions could have been used against me. I would have been used and happy. My perfect match would probably be a narcissist who just takes, and I would just give, or some other weird dynamic. I love playing the fixer role, at least I used to very much. I still feel this urge till this day. It's buried deep inside my psyche, for some reason, but I don't really know what it is. This urge to give is usually what gives me the best climaxes when I masturbate. When I hit that point of giving my life energy, and the feeling of twisted worthiness/unworthiness that accompanies it, it just makes me feel complete like nothing else. I do not think that I was born that way. It's probably not genetic, but environmental. More accurately, I think it's been programmed into my mind over the years. It comes mostly from my aunts who are polar opposites in my mind, and both of whom I feel very attracted to and have weird sexual fantasies about. Yup, you read that right. I have weird sexual fantasies about my aunts. I would love to incest with them, even though they're both over 50 years old or something, I still imagine them younger like in their 30s when I was a kid. And I jerk off to them often, even imagine a threesome lol, but never do anything stupid like that in real life. I know things like this happen like at least not rarely but are never talked about because they're the most taboo thing that there could be, but I just don't think it's a good idea in my case. Maybe it's because they're taboo that I have these fantasies, but not really, because I don't feel any attraction whatsoever to my mom or sisters or aunts from my father's side. Although, I do feel attracted to my cousins, but that's probably natural attraction cuz it's not taboo/incest to marry a cousin in my culture. It's actually complicated. It has to do with my upbringing, religion, early-life working experience, school, and other factors. I'm starting to see the reality behind this delusion. Anyway, back to poverty. Yeah, I'm glad that I've been given this opportunity to learn about the world and understand it correctly before I am given the keys. Although technically to make it a correct metaphor, I do have the keys, they're all in my mind. It's just that I am a little bit far from the doors that the key are for if you catch my drift. I know how to use money. I just don't have it. Yet. Oh, man. Once I pass the bare minimum, I will keep the snowball rolling forever. I know all the ways in which reality works. And I have almost zero attachments besides my family. Plus, I have the highest consciousness and life experiences possible for a human, and am still learning and increasing my consciousness. Suck it, Leo. I'm Godder than you.

Hmmm. Then maybe you just don't know how to present your talents/personality as something amazing. It's clear that you know you have unique qualities, but you don't seem able to communicate their true value to others, so you end up devaluing your gifts and understating them when you should be doing the opposite. Think narcissism here. Maybe you need to work on things like confidence, body language, eye contact, vibe, hype, etc. These are the things that attract women's attention and captivate them. Basically learn the games that men play to get women. Learn pick-up lol. Seriously, often times, the guy has many good qualities, but he just doesn't know how to communicate them with girls. Most girls tend to perceive the world from a different perspective. They don't value the thing in and of itself unless it has good marketing. So if you want to play and advance in the women's league, then you need to learn the tricks and focus less on the actual gifts that you have. I would bet that you can name some girls who don't have as much good qualities as you, but they somehow seem to get what you want while you don't. That's because they know how to play with people's emotions and give them roller-coaster rides. They know how to push and pull, they probably oversell but never undersell themselves, etc.

Could not agree more.

@somegirl What has worked for me was making nuanced but critical lifestyle changes. What you can do for example is limit your exposure to the things that make you think the thoughts that you don't want until you forget those negative thoughts entirely, or at least until they lose their significance to you. And at the same time, you can increase your exposure to the thoughts that you want more of in your life. For example, since you said you feel unworthy as a woman, then one possible cause is the IG super models and things like that. So the first step in this case would be to stop watching that kind of stuff. At the same time, maybe listen to more feminist type people (but be careful of extremists). Then after some time, you might be able to look back again but without feeling unworthy. The key here is time, so the change is not going to happen overnight. But with this awareness that you already have, the change has already started, and it's simply a matter of time.

I would say that you might be looking at self-actualization and personal development rather in a narrow/limited way. Notice your aversion to drama. That's not what you ultimately want, because it creates a shadow. I think you can learn something from integrating more drama into your life, but without being a victim of it or sucked into it unconsciously. In other words, let there be some drama in your life, but don't react to it in a similar way, don't reciprocate. Rather, act from the highest consciousness place that you can, and see how that might reflect on your life. At the very least, it will increase your compassion and help you distinguish the real from the fake drama in the long run.

Best Actualized video so far! Hands down!

Sounds super cool! Looking forward to it!

Black-pill is true, not only in dating, but everywhere in life. That's just the way it is, e.g. one's genetics determine most of their life potential. However, it's not the full picture, since it misses on very important truths, like mindset and effort in the right place at the right time (Red-pill). People who identify with the Black-pill often have victim's mentality and a lot of defeatism in their minds. They don't (want to) know that there's a lot of room form improvement, so they just stay stuck where they are.

There's no attachment here. Only spontaneity, playfulness, and curiosity. But feel free to believe whatever you want about me. I have no preference or control over your mind. Though, I like the way the focus of this conversation has shifted from you over to me. Looks like someone could use a mirror

Looking back at my past and feeling disgusted by myself and the amount of delusions I used to have. Delusional thinking is the trickiest of all problems. I currently have very few delusions, and I'm aware of them. Yet I still can't simply get rid of them. I have two or three primary delusions that my existence hinges on, or at least that's how I suppose it feels like from the unconscious mind's perspective. Having awareness of the delusions does not automatically remove them. There's probably something more powerful running in the background. But I don't know what that could be. I have no clue whatsoever, despite all of my meditation and contemplation, etc. The main reason I know for sure that what I'm experiencing is delusions and not truth is because they go away sometimes. Sometimes I have clarity and I can see myself without those delusions. A less concrete reason would be a rational explanation that these delusions should not exist in the first place, because they don't serve any apparent purposes. Though, I'm 100% sure they serve purposes that I'm simply not aware of. So now, what's the deal? Should I just let myself be delusional like that? I've been allowing and accepting of them for a very long time, and they seem to be only getting worse. Though, they are not harmful delusions, at least for me as of now. Or should I abandon them and stick to the window of clarity that I get every now and then? This option does not feel possible at all for now. When I am delusional, there's no way to logic my way out of that state. I will know and understand that I'm being irrational when I'm being irrational, but I will still be irrational, I just can't help it. Logic resonates on a very surface level, not very deep, it does not reach the ground layer of my perception. I mean it's better than before when I could not even recognize my irrationality. But still, I'm stuck with the delusions for some reason. I think if I could somehow get rid of them, then I would be in total God mode forever. I don't know. Maybe these delusions are part of the reason why I'm still alive, happy, and functional. I don't know.

I meant to say that I'm detached from whatever results this exchange might lead to.

Because it will help you. But of course, you're free to dismiss it. I don't care.

Not necessarily what beauty is, nor how I think of it. I was just sharing some food for thought about the mechanism that I perceive as primary in determining how emotions work, and really the psyche and perception in general.

Classical Conditioning

No problem. Not really. Maybe consider taking a short break from that Aaron guy. Maybe you'll see things in a different light.