Gesundheit2

Irrelevant piece of trivia: Sharks rarely attack humans.

This seems more like something you'd get from concentration practices better than from meditation. That's awesome! And meditation will certainly help. It will show you your true self, your strengths, your weaknesses, what you want and what you need, etc. It will increase your overall clarity and sense of direction, especially if you keep a log of the insights you get.

@Ayham What are you trying to achieve with meditation? Elation? Or insight? And what do you count as "results"?

https://www.actualized.org/forum/staff

I'm givin' you the best of lovin' When you look inna your life, gal you're just discoverin' You used to be sufferin' You never get no bubblin' You never get no troublin' But now you keep cummin' in!

@Scholar God, I hope not. I think maybe he needs to pause for some time, cuz he's probably still under their influence. Maybe he'll get better if he does.

If you cannot see the Absolute Beauty and Perfection of God, you are blind. @Leo Gura Same pic, but you're biased and like them blondies ?

Porn material is not allowed here because it will most likely become a distraction from the meat of the work. We would be discussing the hottest pornstars in the industry all the time, and there would not remain any space for serious discussions. Eventually, the forum would become a porn forum. This does not have anything to do with porn being bad or unhealthy. In fact, I would bet that Leo probably believes that porn is both good and Good. It's just to keep our eyes on the ball, that is personal development. Maintaining a standard on a blog is not essential, but it is essential for a forum. Though, the blog is a different thing. You can subscribe or unsubscribe, I guess. It's your choice. It's just Leo's thoughts. From the top of the blog.

@Scholar I'm pretty sure he's just trolling at this point. Too bad I can't ban him and avenge myself.

@Danioover9000 Don't overthink it. Leo does not socialize/get laid a lot, and he's addicted to porn. Put both facts in a blender, you get that picture.

She's a 6.

There is a chance that all of Leo's seeking is a cope, and that someday he's gonna kill himself. I'm red-flagging all of his content. He's not a reliable source anymore. Anyway, let's talk about that whore... Back in my early teenage years, I used to work in a pharmacy, a place which I hated the most, cuz it took me away from my authentic desire (tech). Someday, though, the boss Fadi, decided to spice things up a little bit by hiring a nurse. He claimed that it was to ensure that women can get the privacy they need that they can't get with him, and plus she could help out in general. Understandable, at least the sounds of it. I used to work two shifts; from 10 am to 3 pm then from 5:30 to 10:30 pm. So basically I worked 10 hours a day 6 days a week on summer vacations. On the other hand, this nurse, Fatima, had to work only one shift, from 5 to 9 pm. She didn't last long though. She was in her mid 20s, divorced, tan, short, and cute. She also had a nickname "Swan" cuz she looked like one haha. Next to this job, she used to work in a hospital, which was her main job and source of income (allegedly). She had an apartment next to her parents' and her little sis (another whore, but maybe for another time). All of this came back to me while listening to this playlist: The reason is that Fatima used to play these songs on her phone a lot when she was there. At that time, there was also the Turkish drama fever that infected the entire Arab culture. Turkish drama shows were being dubbed in Arabic, and everyone was hypnotized by them, including me. So why am I calling her a whore? Well, that's because she is! She used to fuck with Fadi. I did not know at the time, but then later I connected the dots and got it. Here are some of the dots: I caught them kissing once in the inner room of the pharmacy. Every time they're there before I come on my night shift. Every time I enter, they start acting weird. Once she had to cover her groin with her nurse dress. The first porn I've ever watched was on her phone. Sex in the bathroom, the wedding night. I remember everything. She used to share that porn with him. She used to talk a lot about her male superiors at the hospital and how much they adore her. Once I came on my night shift, but the pharmacy was closed. A few minutes later, Fadi comes in his car claiming that he had to check on Fatima's mom and give her an injection. (Of cooooooooooooooooourse ). She used to touch me and rub herself on me and draw hearts when she's next to me. Every few days she would invent some drama and make it an excuse to skip work. The list goes on and on... So back then my autism was high and could not figure all this out. Right now it's clear as day. They were fucking, and she was also fucking her superiors at the hospital to gain benefits. Gold-digger or a whore, I'm not sure which one is the right term. Probably both Now I realize every way she used to hypnotize and manipulate men, including me and Fadi. Her perfume, her sexy laughter, everything. She was a pro. Even I fell in love with her but did not even get a piece of that thing I was like 13 at that time. But even though I hated that job, I would come so eagerly on my night shift, because she was there. She lightened up the whole place. But when she goes, I'm back to hating the job and counting the minutes until my time is over. So why did she leave? Well, she didn't. She got fired, because I told on her. She was stealing from Fadi, and selling him back the stolen stuff. How stupid was I? Why did I tell on her? I hated Fadi and loved her, and yet I still did the wrong thing. If I could go back in time, I would not tell Fadi, but rather blackmail her into sex. Or at least a kiss from time to time Dammit, she was hot! Really, a Swan! I really hate myself right now for being such a righteous idiot. Who does that?! But it was worth it to see Fadi's reaction. He flipped out and called her immediately to fire her. I was his most trusted advisor, so he did not doubt me. There was clear evidence, too. So I did not make anything up. He probably felt used and taken advantage of, which he probably hated the most, since he is a narcissist. But what surprises me even now is how she was able to hypnotize all of us and use everyone like that for her benefit. I used to daydream about her a lot. I really really fell in love with her and was addicted to her presence, even though she did not give me anything. The good thing is that I did not give her anything either. She doesn't ask. She just takes what she wants, when she wants to. A real pro.

What happened to that "Don't post while high" rule?

You've been teaching this stuff for at least over 5 years. According to your own estimation, you're failing severely, cuz you could not awaken anyone except yourself (allegedly).

He's shooting himself in the foot even if he excludes himself. Because if it's true, then his teachings are evidently useless, so there's no point in listening to him in the first place. He probably didn't think it through.

Did I miss some posts?

Being a human is not an illusion. Just the identification and the fixation on this form as some sort of an absolute reality. Believing that other povs don't exist can become a human illusion too if you identify with it. A human dreaming of being God without realizing the nature of the dream.

Yes, indeed. Seeing through the mind is definitely higher than just silencing it. The former includes and transcends the mind, while the latter ignores it. God could not be complete without the mind.

I don't believe in solipsism, but this does not seem like the best argument against it. People play video games with a computer just because there's an interactivity. Now, imagine if that paid your bills. A better argument I would say is the desire to convince others with solipsism. Why would you want others (who you believe don't exist) to agree with you that they don't exist unless you believed on some level that they exist? I can't think of any good answers.

It's a loophole in the system, caused by the corruption and selfishness of mankind. But it kinda allows the stronger/smarter/healthier chimps to control the weaker/dumber/sicker ones, so it's not completely useless.

Actually, it's because any form of intellectual understanding is not anywhere near actual understanding (being). The only way to truly understand something is by directly being it. The only way to truly understand anger is by being angry, the only way to truly understand happiness is by being happy, etc. Any theories of anger or happiness are at best inferior versions of the real thing, and sometimes even a completely distant thing. So that makes all intellectual understanding illusory, and therefore Buddhists are right about this. Shutting off the mind is a pointer to the purity of raw being that is uninterrupted by the illusion of thoughts. A simulation of that state if you will. It's, in essence, God-embodiment.

@Loba Hi! Just finished watching the video. There's a lot in there. The process you're going through seems very personal. Though, I like how you closed with open-mindedness while referencing courage and faith. It is certainly a most powerful combination. I always keep in mind that it's always possible that I don't have the whole picture, and so I try to not quickly jump to conclusions. I don't think it's necessarily delusional what you're experiencing, but I don't think it's easy either to dissect any part of it and then gather some tangible understanding, or even just have opinions without knowing your entire history. One thing that I'd noticed about my spiritual journey was that it almost always had to do with my past. I was confused about the present, then I learned from shadow work that the best way to understand the present is through understanding the past. There were certain fixations that did not go away until I dug back into my past and got to the root memory that initiated them to begin with. They just built on top of that memory until it got buried deeply underneath until I lost track of it. But I'm guessing you've probably figured out this much on your own already, so this might not be very helpful, anyway. I'm just here for the cookie. I want it so bad Seriously though, there's a part of my awakening that had to do with the external circumstances that were happening at the time (war, stress, existential crisis, etc.). It was hard to see that until the external circumstances changed. I was like a fish in the sea in that sense. The present itself was inducing an altered perception, and it did not even occur to me that that was even a possibility at the time. I used to think that there's reality, and that's it. Now I think there's reality, and there's my interpretation that is likely influenced by my current state and many other factors. It was a game-changer for me when I realized this, thanks to Leo. It separated me from my thoughts and I was finally able to dis-identify/detach from them, which caused my ego to disintegrate. When my ego disintegrated, I surrendered deeply and let go of everything, until I hit rock-bottom or peak state (I know it probably doesn't make much sense, but it was both at the same time!). During that period of time (over 6 months), I experienced Love. It started strong right after my ego-death, then it faded away a little. Then I started meditating for 6-8 hours+ a day and Love started intensifying again. I saw the absolute Beauty and Interconnectedness in everything around me. It was awesome! And it kept on growing more and more every day every time I would go to walk outside and meditate. I was deeply depressed before that, but then I discovered this whole new world of ecstasy. It was unbelievable that such levels of joy were possible, and that I wasn't even aware of them. After that period, I found a new job and started going to work again, and I had to control that state because it was too much for the real world. But it kept flowing outside of my control, and I kept experiencing ecstasy for some more months. It was the most vulnerable state that I've ever been in. I could not keep going in that direction. I don't know exactly what happened. I kind of wanted it to stop because it destroyed my whole discipline and self-control functionality. But it also seemed to have reached its conclusion on its own and that my time was up with that energy, so I let it go. Later I started a project that was dedicated to find balance in all areas of my life. And I learned to create the balance between self-control and acceptance. It's documented (at least the beginning part) here in the journals section (but not in this journal). Ultimately, I agree with you that everyone's spiritual journey is private and personal, and that my keys might not work for anyone else. But I think our stories are worth sharing because there can be some similarities that might be useful if we look at them from a meta perspective. The content of my experience might not match the content of your experience, but the context might do. So that's how sharing can be best utilized in my opinion/experience. I have found that I learn the most by looking at the patterns and taking notice without letting the content influence my center/authentic experience. Finally, it's nice seeing you. You look bright, radiant, beautiful, pure, and innocent. Like an absolute treat. Keep glowing.

That's an easy one. There isn't "your" or "my" definition of success. Success is an objective thing, and it's the ability to set realistic goals and accomplish them as effectively and efficiently as possible. If you plan to walk five steps today and then you set out and actually do it, you will have succeeded in that task. The end result/goal is irrelevant. It is a success as long as it matters to you, no matter how small. Though, you can be less successful or more successful than others, or than your own self at certain times in your life compared to others. It depends on your resources and bodily + mental capabilities at any given moment, and these could change. The good thing is that you can't be 100% successful or 100% a loser all the time. It's not possible. And that's because you are capable of making mistakes and learning. The question is: Are you going to let the mistakes set you back or fuel your desire to improve? The truth is that you will make and keep making mistakes all the time, we all do, we're all humans. You will fall down, and try again, c'est la vie. The only failure in life is giving up. Don't give up. I'll start posting answers here in this journal, so that only the people who think my thoughts are interesting and worthy of their time can read.