Gesundheit2

Nahm did not meditate for me, and he certainly did not contemplate instead of me. Not only that, but he also didn't jump out of the screen and give me instant enlightenment for free. I have proper, realistic expectations, but he's such an asshole for not following through them, even after accompanying me in my sad, lonely times.

@Barbara Sounds like you've experienced trauma that now needs to be resolved, which probably means vacation/retreat/inspection time. If that's not possible, then just focusing on the fundamentals for now with minimal effort. I would say you need to be absolutely honest with yourself about your current ability to pull through this (whether right now or after vacation). Do you think you can? If not, then you probably need to take some more time off and let yourself breathe a little bit before trying again. That means no books or anything that takes from your mind space and/or is related to stress. Keep in mind that you've already learned a lot and done a lot, so you won't need to start from square one when you come back later. Your knowledge is earned, and your progress is saved. I think you also need to understand that what happened is perfectly fine and normal. Too much work without enough rest is not ideal in the long run, and it will eventually backfire. That doesn't mean you can't work hard anymore or that any time you put in some effort you will return to that same nightmare. No, not at all. It just means that you need breathing spaces and a rewards system instead of being too hard on yourself and beating yourself up unnecessarily. I wouldn't worry about overcoming this fear just yet. When you're finally ready, you will know with absolute clarity the difference between being lazy/procrastinating vs. being exhausted/burned-out. As long as you can't tell the difference, then you're probably still tired and simply need more rest. As well, "too much work" is a relative thing. What might feel like too much at your current level will feel like nothing when you advance. So pace yourself at that. Use your feelings as a compass instead of your thoughts. No more workaholism, regardless of ambitions. Think of it like learning a new language. At first, you will struggle to create one sentence. Then later, it will become an integrated part of you, you will be able to write essays without even having to put any effort or think about it anymore. The process of mastery is always hardest in the beginnings, and you've probably already finished the hardest part. Also, consider trying to delegate micro-management to someone else. Your main focus should be on the bigger fish, not on the smaller distractive, and energy-consuming activities. Think of a family member to help you with this, could be a parent or a younger relative. That shouldn't cost a lot, and the returned value should be immense. I think what you probably need the most right now is comfort. So you might want to consider saving this post for later, while focusing only on the comforting parts for now and skimming through the practical parts. Take care, and good luck!

Because time is money.

Asking "why?" is useless in this context, because you really don't have a choice.

I was going to answer, but then realized the question is pointed at Leo specifically.

It's literally the same thing if a girl is attracted to your looks, money, personality, charisma, status, and/or something else. These are all appearances that are perceived as value, but you ain't any, let alone all of 'em. They're just things that are attached to you by you attaching yourself to them. You may carry them with you or drop them off, but they still ain't you either way. Who/What you are is literally unlovable, because it is so out of reach and untouchable. Nobody could love you except you. And you, you also could not really love anyone except yourself. Though, you might deceive yourself into thinking that you love others, but that's just your coping mechanism to conceal your love for yourself, precisely because you love yourself so much that you can't allow any external love to ruin your own, including your own external love. See, there are two types of love, internal and external. The internal is ever present, but most of the time taken for granted and ignored. The external, which is illusory, is extremely valuable for survival. When you confuse one with the other, that's when you fuck up. Sometimes, external love can hurt. Other times, it can heal. But the internal is always healing. You can heal yourself with external love, but it's not always guaranteed, and it might even backfire in some cases. If you don't want to take risks, go for the internal directly, and let go of the external completely.

I don't use reddit, and I don't remember how it was here. Maybe someone else knows.

For those who don't know, there used to be a karma system a couple years ago. Then one day Leo announced that he's taking it down. You might be able to find the thread if you search, but I don't think it's coming back again.

Am I the only one here that avoids most featured/mega-threads like the plague?

@Leo Gura You'll get the chance to ban him again. Best comment of the month (Combo x2).

Your posts are often too long and return too little value.

Unban @Joseph Maynor.

I've spent a lot of time in the past couple days trying to take some rest from programming. Most of it was here on the forum, and the rest I could not help but watch some tutorials and write some code. I've learned about Svelte and SvelteKit. And they're really interesting, it's not fair that React and other libraries/frameworks are way more popular. I think I need to rest for real this time. That means no forum and no programming. Not sure why I would want to do that, though. The momentum I have now might decrease if I stop moving. Anyway,

@Leo Gura ?

@eos_nyxia I see what you're saying, and I agree with all of it. I would even dare say that many men are way more emotional than some women. I've also met some really cold and logical women, and some really irritatingly emotional men, at least on the surface. However, there is a part that you don't seem to be taking into account in your perspective. The difference is that women, unlike men, act mainly based on emotion. The decision-making process for men is mostly a logical one with a clear goal in mind, while for women it's mostly aesthetic and socially aware, i.e. For guys, the new IPhone has a 13megapixel dual camera (my phone info are a bit outdated, but that's not the point), etc. For women, it's mostly just the pink color that matters. My friend is a doctor, he told me that his girlfriend once made him a crafty thing of wooden tongue holders that doctors use. She thought that would impress him. He facepalmed and told me it's the silliest thing he'd ever seen.

@Majed Habits take time to build and stick, and they also take time to dissolve and go away. Whatever you keep doing regularly will turn into a habit after a certain period of time. Precisely, 66 days (on average, of course). Once it becomes a habit, the re-wiring of your neural connections will settle, and the habit will become effortless. But until then you will have to exercise some will power in order to make it stick. The brain does not distinguish between good habits and bad habits. Whatever you input, it will then output after a period of time.

Lol. Okay. Hell is paved with good intentions. Just because you're a surgeon with good intentions does not automatically make you a great surgeon. Which can both great and dangerous at the same time, which is why they need to be kept in check more than normal people. Narcissists are also known for their ability to "sense" some things that you would not ordinarily be able to.

Like a broken record.

Both spiritual teachers and their teachings are illusions. But they don't tell you this, even if they seemingly do. Nahm doesn't even call himself a teacher, which allows him to maintain a stronger teacher façade, at least with certain people. Don't look at what people communicate with their words, look at their actions and what those communicate. Hippies preach and talk about love and selflessness all the time, but most of them are of the most selfish and narcissistic people you could meet. They will only preach love and selflessness as long as it serves them first and puts them above of you. But once you try to level the playing field, they will increase and focus their usage of gaslighting techniques on you in order to triangulate you and paint you as a bad actor even if you're not. You're an enemy for questioning their authority.

@Thought Art Really? I don't remember consciousness as a component of Jed McKenna's teachings. In fact, I think he would say that consciousness is just another human invention.

They're allowed to leave, and some of them do, eventually. But leaving probably sucks even more than staying, so the majority stays. I don't know if it's better or worse. The entire concept seems flawed and unmaintainable in this modern era.

Though, ironically, conservative societies/arranged marriages are way less prone to divorce.