99th_monkey

Nice thread :). After reading your last post I felt the urge to share, seems to be coming up a lot. I am guilty of searching this fleeting experience. I have been expecting fireworks and never got any, had some cool tingly experiences while laying in bed, and when meditating, but that's it, no lights, no out of body experiences, no nothing lol. But a serious understanding like a fundamental understanding just feels like its been downloaded. Or unlocked, or whatever. Its a beautiful thing, The mental though process has switched, has aligned with and produces... Different stuff ill call it. But dropping the idea of having an experience similar to someone else's disnt produce anything, but an allowing was able to happen, like an entertaining of something was allowed Cheers bro. (Sorry for the thread jack)

There's a strange sensation of cognition that is interpertating, but no meaning, . a cup. A dog. A feeling. TheMEANING of these interpretation are after, or seemingly spawn from the cognition of the world, "My" is one of those meanings. Maybe that's where the label Maya comes from lol "Hey bro, that's my ah...car there yea" Observing, the labels put on the labels seems to happen in time, Thing not there, now thing there, its a presupposing that the thing should be there in the first place and it isn't. How does it get there? Maybe it doesn't. Every my label is "after the fact" and never before, but the label itself assumes it is, like there's a sticker on it saying "thank you for purchasing the idea of me before you" Every experience is observed and then claimed, and the claiming is the content of a thought.

Nice, lol almost had beer come out of my nose when I read this.

I am something claimed, an appearance after the fact, everything is claimed and used and filtered and Im thought to be the one doing it. Then the thought of being the one doing it is claimed by a thought of the one claiming. My gates of perception, are claimed, and called my own. My thoughts are claimed and called my own, my behavior's are claimed and called my own. Any change atall, any movement is claimed. And used. Manipulated, changed, mmorphed, how can I exist? Its impossible, how can a separate entity exist after the death I go through every night?. I feel like a machine at a machine shop, thinking that it has a choice and perform all duties as it sees fit, when in fact at the end of the day, the switch gets flipped, and the work stops, only to be resume when the switch is flipped again. The world around me is nothing without a me.

All of this is not true, it may be what someone at some point needs to here, buts that's all it is, figure out if you're one of those people. If not, is useless. Even if it comes from Leo.

What's to become of the flower seed after full bloom It does not exist yet is told of its magical transformation "You were once a small seed in the dirt" the flower hears. "You will become a beautiful expression of nature" the seed hears. Non of this is there reality. Just stories of others from others, I am a seed in the dirt, catching water soaked mud and fleeting glimpses of sunlight. I am a brilliant flower blossom that gets bludgeoned by rain and misses the feeling of soil. Of all this, who is what and what is not?

When doing self inquiry, feel into the process of the question and answering that's going on, try to be a presence that is witnessing both the questioning and the answering that is coming up. If the thought "this is useless" comes up, try to question and inquire into who or what this is useless for, and then figure out what that is, confusion is the mother of insight like necessity is the mother of invention Don't give up.

Yes, very. Extremely, actually. I was so sure so certain and comfortable in my understanding that I got depressed and felt very negative, this went on for a bit then a part of me that I hadn't recognized had surfaced and "burped" out, it was a gift, it put me in check, and showed I was still identifying with something, it just happened to be one of the flotillas of ego. Haha. Of course this may or may not be of any use to you, but I'd figured is share

So. Here I am. Being, and what am I doing? My doing is my doing. Im verbing. Yet pretending to noun-innng. to be an it, so to speak. I Am. Isnt real, there is no I Am. I am nothing, no-thing. Lack of thing, a lack of any ness to lack a thing in. What?! no noun, my me-ness, is an activity, an action, a happening, a happening without a happeninger. There isnt seer and seen, to try to see things "differently" is no different then the way you see them now. I Am, yes all of it, and no none of it, and so can you Lol

Aw you're mean. I don't wanna play with you anymore, im going home, hhhmmmmmpphhh

You sure?

Maybe take up knitting or something. Or get used to hearing "no self" If something isnt making a gong sound in your head doesn't mean its rubbish. Its just not what you need, so just move on and leave it, it will probably work for someone maybe .

The best thing we could do for him in that sense would be to be quiet, don't ask questions and let him go :)~

"Of where I am speaking, you can be in the middle of great misery and be in great joy. And I am not saying that this joy is only in pretend misery, in pretend pain. In real pain there is joy." -Mr. Peter Ralston

Nope

Like coloring but more serious coloring Lol

ending it just because youre worried about something that is both created in your head and not real is going to be cause for more problems for you in the future. i think you need to friggin relax. all this stuff that your wanting and worried about, your creating. so take a moment to reflect on that, take the actual body of your little girlie out of it, and look at everything your thinking about. you two may as well be perfect for eachother or down right poisonous, but a forum isnt going to give you sound approval for either, when you get your thoughts in order on the matter and pull your head out of your ass of self the right answer will reveal itself even if it seems like one you dont want. please dont make life altering decisions based on a seeming person on your computer screen, thats giving away your power of responsibility trying to coast through life, and all you will do is hurt yourself

adult coloring books?

we all motherfuckers do need Jesus.

For some waking up takes work. For others its instant. I'm not at a place where I can help anyone with that. I can only speak from what my experience has taught me. I can tell you that once you do wake up, (if you go that route), the real work begins. who would want to do all this crazy stuff ?lol And on a side note @jjer94 your new pic is creeping me out bro lol

Im not going to lie I only read halfway through this and decided to respond. Your problem is fundamental. Your looking at meditation to GIVE you something. That's not going to happen. Its extremely similar to a drug addict going to a drug. You want an escape. Meditation will bring you peace. WRONG what happens is you need to wake up. And what a lot of people don't tell you (because you can't sell it) is that waking up is literally DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE. Then THAT'S what meditation is for. Ummmm I think the bhuddists called it "right view". Wake up first. Then trymeditation. This probably doesn't help you though

Drop you.

so. After a night of mental attacks, Of being, Miserable Misunderstood Alone Taken advantage of No friends Disconnected Depressed Sad Unhappy. A few others I can't remember (go figure). Something inside said "when is enough enough?" when is it going to stop? This little beacon of light, this little gift was enough, even in my lonely pathetic sobbing state while doing dishes, to ask, what is feeling these and to be open to what came. Guess what came. Me. But not me. It was the "remembered" me. The me from my story kicking and screaming, the scared little boy who had no friends and no family around to take care of him when he was young and scared and alone, the scared little boy who when he woke at night from a bad dream tried to get comfort from the passed out baby sitter on the floor, the scared little boy who was never alowed to be scared. And it donned on me. This is my story. Things are falling away from me by the day. Habits, hobbies, friends, family, my needs and wants, as these meaningless distraction are exposed for what they are. And are dropped, dissattached, and the story gets shorter, I get scared, I get lonely, I get depressed,.... Seemingly. At the end of the day im fine. Nothings changed except there's a little more clarity into the emotions that come up and why. When guilt and regret can't get it done something else will try. The beauty of it all is nothing can work if you're vigilant. So that was my night last night ?

i never heard a shit-fan anology work so beautifully