99th_monkey

this is important because certain people can be a trigger or down right keep you alseep without their even being aware of it. This whole "process" is about "you" and you have to be as selfish as humanly possible. even though its extremely taboo to be that way, but living for others isnt going to wake you up. And others that depend on you to live for them will fall away if you do this work seriously... there is a part of the "process" when that stops and you transcend, but if those people are still sticking around by then , you'd have to find out for yourself.

I suggest finding out who you are and keep it under your hat until then. dont wanna go scaring people by challenging world views, we all know how that goes good luck

ok .. i see the difference.. i see the difference between mind in control and mind controlled. oh boy does it fight, hard fight, like fighting with your child to take a bath, or eat broccoli. its obvious. but you get lost in it. lost in the argument. lost in the fight. its all a game. a sick game... like manipulation... twisted manipulation to survive and be "comfy" i see you there. i see all there. im not you, or you or you. i am that. thats that sees... but thats not all. drop it ... fucking drop it. all of it. it must go. burn it. pain is the fire that heals. coteries. disguised by that wish "wont" be healed. why people sleep. Why i want to sleep. i want to drink the Kool-aid. but i cant. cant "unsee" i love you, deep beautiful you. i love all . but all must go, i dont know what love is. and you going will be the death of me. bring the fire and the water, i will float and not be either. i will fall and i will rise. the dream will end, and i will see. to hell and back.. ......bring it on......

24/7 try not to focus on the "routine" of it.

that crap happens all the time you just dont notice... anyone else reading should heed @Henri 's advice

"Hey there you, do you like my mask?" Good bye. Farewell. I am not that. I am not this. The pain of loss is from the fire of cleansing. Disguised. A ruse. Maya. The name of the dog is Maya

i feel the things. i feel the simple things come in. they come in with beautiful intelligence, and they swirl in the thoughts. they get caught up in a vortex that is the only portal to the being. they get lost. forgotten and ignored. fuck........

"I" look and sound exhausted. thats what everyone says. "What's wrong?, Are you ok?" thats what everyone is asking... Do "I" talk about my walls to a wall? thoughts, process, meaning, everything. I I I I dont want anymore clothes i want to be naked... I dont want anymore thoughts, i want to be free.. let go. just let go. all of it. it all has to go. even the things that "hold you" I AM a boy with my hand in the soda machine, and trapped in a prison because i cant let go of the can.

its not mooji, but i dont think @Ayla will mind

"I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom."

Cool.

Who is born?

how do you go from a point to a spectrum? say you're the color red. how do you go from being the color red, to being the whole spectrum of light? what if, that whole spectrum of light is what you, and all the other colors, are. but "you" (being the color red) identify with that color and assume it to be correct (as do all other colors). how do you break free of that?

fuck......................

you need a shift, and stop calling your "ego" that... your "ego" is you. might as well say " I " and quit fucking around. if you contemplate death do you contemplate life? they cant exist without each other. go further. yes life just happens..... anything else is added by "you" for "you". and unfortunately "you", dont exist, and hold death as your antithesis. its easy, yet massively .... fucking suck all./ its how you make yourself real.

the not-rightness of all of this........

realizing the simplicity is one thing, experiencing it is a new paradigm

there is a pull. and there is a stationary. ... what is the force that keeps a barnacle to its rock? what is the force that pulls it away?

its a perception. just a window. not the world. or a mirror. or a movie screen. ... so humble to carry the world to me while staying the same and never changing. places the world on it to barely ever get noticed. passive, non judgmental and perfectly clear with no blemish.

find what these thoughts, emotions, feelings , whatever are tracing back to. there is a belief or assumption or somthing taken for granted as true that isnt lingering back there. good and bad feelings and emotions arise from this. good emotions hide it just as much as bad ones do.

why are you meditating?

Watch yourself. and dont worry about enlightenment. pay attention to happens in your head just putting your attention on it.

when i open my eyes and ears. put on clothing and dine at a fine restaurant with an interactive waitstaff. smell the smells and taste the tastes ..... what notices that? what notices the notice of that?

if i close my eyes and shut my ears(?) stand perfectly still with nothing on, smell no smells and taste. what notices what? what sees the thought images and sounds? what sees the memories and the feelings, what notices the projections into the future and the ideas about what should be? what?

wrote that one down... thank you