Walkaboutman

Hello all I am one and a half years into my PhD. I have made some progress but at this rate I am not going to make it. Can anyone suggest a course of action to combat my debilitating laziness or perhaps point me to a book or anything?

Hello all So I'm trying to figure out something. I have had a rather volatile relationship with my girlfriend with frequent fights and disagreements. We are physically attracted to each other but don't see eye to eye on certain issues. We have been together for 5 years. During one of our rocky patches there was a phase were we would get together to have sex, except she refused to come to my house (I live alone) and wouldn't let me go to her house either (she stays with her parents). So the middle ground ended up being my office. My office environment is somewhat deserted so I wouldn't normally go for this type of thing but anyway that's how it went. This carried on about once or twice a month, for about 6 months. Even if I asked her why she refused to come to my house she would never tell so it's pointless. However I am bothered by the fact that she refused to see me anywhere else. Obviously cheating has crossed my mind but I don't see how coming to my house would have exposed her in any way if she was seeing somebody else. I can possibly see how me going to her house would be a problem if she was bringing somebody else to her house. But in the end all of this just doesn't seem to make logical sense. Any ideas?

Thank you all for your feedback I really appreciate it. I had a good long look at this situation and coupled with a little research came to some conclusions which really, is supported by some of the comments made so far on this forum. I came across research done on attachment styles and after doing a couple of tests found that I have an avoidant attachment style, that dovetails with my girlfriend's anxious attachment style. I run away from the relationship and she pursues, a perfect mixture of toxicity. I looked at all my past relationships and discovered that they all share this same pattern, I am consistently attracted to women that attach anxiously and I try my best to avoid them. I saw that my mom is a lot like this and I guess I am more like my parents and their relationship than what I wanted to admit at first. I spoke to my girlfriend about this to try and find a way to be more healthy in our relationship but she just fights and continues to try and one-up me. Ultimately, I had to concede that we were attracted to each other because of our disfunction, and we needed to separate in order to move the situation forward. I worked out that we were not going to resolve our differences and there certainly is no fighting your way through to a solution it seems. I broke it off with her. I was a little over-invested in a relationship that was mostly only sexual, and it was a lot of drama to go through for the little sex I was getting as well. Break-ups suck but I must admit the peace and quiet is amazing. And predictably also it wasn't long after I ended things that I saw on social media that she was with another guy. You win some and you lose some...

Thank you everybody for your helpful responses, especially the recommendation of the book War of Art. Amazingly I was speaking to my friend about this problem and he sent me a copy of the book, and when I returned to this forum a contributor had suggested it as well. After some soul searching I found that since young I had a wish to conquer my Alma Mater, irrespective of which degree it may be, it needed to be a PhD. I discussed my delayed schedule with my supervisor and we worked out a plan to move forward again and get the work done. I will keep you posted...