Federico del pueblo

I scored a "secure".

Haha, then got girls basically dancing in your living room ?

I get you. I mean, if I could simply choose where to live I would probably choose something like Barcelona or Madrid, because of the weather and general attitude of people (more warm hearted and open in the south of Europe), but of course it's not all that easy. I'd have to speak perfect Spanish and stuff, so it's just easier for me to go somewhere else (the best city in my country). I don't know which city you're considering but probably for you there are also certain inconveniences that come with going to a certain city, a lot things need to be sorted out.

Lol. So you think that if you go to London or Berlin it's gonna be boring and lame and and not conducive for developing good game?!!! Is this an assumption or have you validated this for yourself? Of course not. It's just that if I think of the handful of approximately 800k cities I know, they have "normal" distributions of male/female or young/old. If you approach 1000 girls per year (which most guys don't) you will need 10 years to have approached 10k girls. Amsterdam e.g. has a population of about 870k and is known to be an amazing city for game (many bootcamps take place there).

If 800k is not big enough for you to learn game, then something would have to be seriously wrong with you.

I clicked on the thread expecting to read an interesting story of having picked up a model....and now this... My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined!

@Javfly33 It's definitely a long term process, that's for sure.

For several reasons. First of all it can be used as an attraction technique, because if you have standards it communicates to a girl that you must have abundance, because without abundance you wouldn't be able to be picky (which is why qualification is a thing in pick up too, it's basically pretending to have standards). Ideally though you don't just pretend to have standards but actually develop them. Because without real standards you're constantly gonna have to put up with shitty behaviours from girls or girls who are just boring or lame or nasty, drama queens etc. This is closely linked to having boundaries too. Boundaries are basically your standards for the behaviours you are willing or unwilling too accept from others. And linked to this is your willingness to (actually) walk away from a girl. Because you can't force anyone to accept your boundaries, nor to meet your standards, so you might have to choose to quit the interaction/relationship if it's not satisfactory for you, which ironically can make you more attractive again so that the other might then actually adapt their behaviour. If a situation calls for it I might say something like "Well, you and I just talk, and the moment it's not fun for you anymore, feel free to leave, as will I, ok?"

Ok, I give you a break Take it slowly my man! Maybe you're projecting something onto me yourself?! Anyway we don't need to get in a little ego war here, ok? So let's calm down. I'm just telling you that as a long term strategy it will help you to you raise your standards to improve your results, but do whatever is necessary for you now.

Which is something you absolutely need to change.

True. And still I'd consider it to be even more low conscious if we denied our low consciousness desire for sex and stayed passive about it like the incels do.

I totally agree with everything. And still on some level it bothers me that I can be associated with these psychopathic guys, for talking to girls. I've heard female friends of mine say things like "maybe he was doing this pick up bullshit" because some guy approached us as a group (which was quite ballsy because we were a mixed group sitting at a table, a hard "set" so to speak). Kinda sad that pick up has such a bad reputation because of some guys who take it to far, but I'll deal with it.

How big is it?

Just read the article. If some of the things stated in there are even just remotely true, then this is really fucked up behaviour (like having sex with 17 yo virgins and recording the audio to sell it online). Though I do not know how much I can trust such an article. These writers tend to distort the facts to feed their narratives. And it is kind of fucked up how these behaviours and the consequential articles ("dirty PUA exposed") can make you feel bad about learning seduction, like people might give you shit about talking to girls because you could be one of these criminal pick up artists.

What is this toxicity of pick up you mean? That you keep wanting to get hotter girls and there is no end to it? Or all these little status games that surround pick up?

It is all fairly simple. Looks do matter to girls or make a difference, but not as much as they do for us guys. So of course girls ideally want a guy who is good looking, especially if they are good looking themselves. If the girl is not so good looking herself she will at some point end up realising that she (usually) can't have the hot guy, so she'll lower her standards and take a guy who's about as good looking as her. The girl who is good looking herself can have all kinds of guys, including very good looking ones, very successful ones, popular ones etc. So if she can have good looking ones why would she not choose them most of the time? She can so she does. And then you have the guys who are not as good looking but still can have good looking girls. If they don't have the looks, they must have something else and this is either good game or high status or similar things (like being a popular guy etc.) or a combination of these things. If you don't have the good looks then basically you have to compensate and develop a personality that is extraordinary which encapsulates things like good game, humor, confidence, charisma etc. And it shouldn't come as a surprise that doing this is not easy, given that because of your average looks you don't get a lot of positive social feedback from the attractive girls. You must develop the level of confidence of someone who's received positive validation his entire life, like one of these children actors, without ever having received a whole lot of it, so naturally this is not gonna happen for a lot of guys. So the not so good looking guys do what their female counterpart does, they assume they can't have the attractive girls, lower their standards and settle for girls who are less physically attractive. That's it.

Your entire family died in a car accident yesterday?! Just shut up and go approach!! ?

As long as it's not three hardcore feminists I think you're fine. The only problem I could think of is if you live with people who are very conservative sexually and will give you shit if you frequently bring new girls home and make loud banging against the wall sounds

What exactly do you mean by negging? It's hard to tell whether a certain behaviour is useful or not if it's unclear how you define it. They might do that, but it doesn't work with most women, it can work with women who are abusive themselves or who have very poor self esteem. I feel like you view this topic too black or white. It's not like you're either an "abusive alpha asshole" or a weak "beta nice guy". You can be a guy who is strong, confident, fun, chill, grounded, flirtatious, leading, friendly (from a place of strength), all without ever being an asshole. Imagine this: If you had been very desired by women for all your life how would you now behave with girls? Would you be concerned about a particular girl's opinion? Probably not. Would you constantly be afraid to speak your mind out of fear of rejection? Probably not. Would you be able to playfully tease a girl? I think so. Would you be worried whether what you have to say is good enough? Would you be willing to drop a girl if she behaves too bitchy? Would you always agree with her? Would you be afraid to communicate to her that you are intrigued by her? Would you screen every girl for qualities but also red flags to make sure you only let girls in your life that add value to your life?

Which is no surprise. What you said was way too condescending. This idea of girls liking assholes can be misleading and the ones who really do fall for complete assholes are often emotionally damaged and you should avoid them anyway (they're sort of like the female equivalent of assholes, like crazy b!tches etc.). Where this idea of girls liking assholes comes from is the fact that girls feel attracted to guys who are unattached, i.e. guys who "don't give a fuck". What that means is that if a guy is emotionally unaffected by a girl in a sense that her drama, tests, attractiveness don't throw the guy off, is what attracts the girl. Being unattached indicates that a guy has options = is desired by women in general, which is attractive. Usually guys who have abundance can act in a way that other guys can't. It shines through that they're not afraid to lose a girl. If you're not afraid to lose a girl you are much less afraid to offend a girl by behaving in a way that is authentic to you. You don't try to offend girls, but you don't care if girls get offended either. Girls like it when a guy is a challenge, someone who doesn't walk on eggshells around her, someone who has an opinion, someone who's a bit edgy etc., but none of the latter means to be insulting to girls. It's a teasing, challenging, polarizing kind of attitude. Things like: "Really???!! I can't believe you said that, oh no, please tell me you're not the kind of girl that does X" (willingness to push her away a bit) "I really thought I liked you until you said X" "Nooo, girl, you just blew it" "We would never get along, I'm so cute and innocent and you are just 100% trouble" "Yeah, you're cute, but I don't think you could handle me" (be prepared for the "why" shit test) "Ah ok, I thought you were gonna say X and I was about to fall in love, but since you don't...nevermind" "Really you're from X-city?! That totally loses you a few points" "You know what I really like about you?! ...Absolutely nothing nah just kidding, you seem cool" So you basically give her shit tests instead of just receiving them, but notice how none of the things above are actual insults and on top of that most of them are delivered with a smirk.

@Noahsteelers34 Sounds like you got it. Maybe this video here could be highly beneficial: https://youtu.be/7RDcxRcJZSA It's Todd's college game manifesto

I'd suggest that you completely think this issue through to get to the very bottom of what you're afraid of. So what is it that's realistically gonna happen if you do these exercises on a 40k Campus? What is gonna happen to you if you indeed do get a "bad reputation"? Is someone gonna walk up to you and spit you in the face? Maybe there'll be people who've seen you do an approach, maybe you'll get a shit test from a girl like "oh are you that guy who talks to all the girls?". And then what? Maybe some guy will say "yeah, he's that guy who approaches girls on the Campus". I don't think it's gonna get much worse than that. I don't think you'll be on the local news or anything like that. You don't have to do super crazy, sexual approaches. The Dating coach Todd V said in some YouTube video that he approached many hundreds of girls on his college campus. He WAS known as "that guy". Sometimes girls confronted him about it (aka shit test) and that's it. He once had a date with a girl who lived somewhere close to the campus. He rang the bell and the door opened, but it was not the date girl who opened the door, but one of her roommates. He saw the girl who opened the door and realized that she was a girl he had already slept with ? Then she brought him to his date haha. So I don't think you're gonna get publicly humiliated by a mob of raging people, realistically you'll get called out on doing approaches every now and then, mostly by people who wish they had the balls to do the same. And you still have the bars and clubs to practice approaching prior to doing it on campus. Watch some YouTube prank channels like ThatWasEpic, there you'll see guys who approach girls on Campus all the time and they do things much worse than you'd ever have to do to meet girls.

If reality is 100% perfect then it doesn't matter if you fight an illness or not, each strategy is 100% perfect. But more practically speaking, only you can know whether you want to overcome an illness or not, and you are god too, so you can do whatever you want and it's fine.

It is possible. You need good game though.

You must move. You can practice being social where you live, but developing some serious game might be hard. Just talk to people in the church and make more friends if possible. Then do social things with your friends and hopefully get introduced to some girls. But again, the number one priority for you is to move asap.