Federico del pueblo

Thanks for providing me with this opportunity. I'd be lost without you

It's in fact highly possible and even the norm. That's because most people first need to face a lot of their trauma before awakening. Trauma is a separation from love caused by an outside force/circumstances when you were still unable to deal with it. It's like an energetic imprint or branding. When you awaken you will realise that your trauma was just imaginary but until then it contributes to your non-awakening because you can't look beyond the boundaries of your limited trauma-informed reality. I'll probably need a handful more trips to awaken because when I trip unimaginable amounts of energy come up and I'm twitching, shaking and trembling like a fish on land deprived from oxygen and that seems to not leave room for awakening yet.

Thank you! (Oh damn...now I look like a nice guy because I'm being nice ?)

But be careful to not confuse niceness with actual weakness. If some charity rings your bell and you say "I'd kindly like to reject your request" you are being nice while being strong. If you accept their request even though you don't really want to, now you're being nice but weak. If you don't want to dance with someone you can be nice about it without looking weak too. What repels people is neediness and insecurity aka people pleasing behaviour. Here you will alter your behaviour and act incongruent in relation to your true values and boundaries. This gets spotted as weakness, because it is weak, and generally is regarded as unattractive. Then there are indeed people who think other people who assert their boundaries without being apologetic about it are "assholes". But the reason they think like this is a coping mechanism because they're insecure and needy themselves and thus they need to alter their subjective perception in a way that protects their own fragile ego.

How many trips have you already had? How many of them were on lsd more or less? And after how many have you had your 1. awakening? I can only tell you that when I experienced fear of going insane during trips I tried to simply embrace it and be like "so be it...". I think this is actually what makes it least like to go insane. There's nothing for you to do anyway, you can't control so just let go...

What have you found that works for you? Anything like specific techniques, how you prepare or what you do before the meditation (e.g. breathwork)? Specific background music or wearing earplugs? Changing your mindset about meditation, maybe "not trying" at all?

Ok, interesting! Thanks! So am I! You're one of the good folks here it seems, like you got good energy and interesting stuff to share without having a huge ego about it.

@NoSelfSelf sounds amazing.

Great! I have recently experimented a bit with these types of breath like Wim Hof, dmt or psychedelic breathing and holotropic breathing etc. and feel the same about them, they're energizing/vitalizing. Aren't all these breathing techniques also derived from yoga?

Awesome! How did it make you feel or which states did you enter?

@tuku747 Ok, how much Salvia do you recommend? ?

Why precisely weed?

Could you elaborate just a little bit? Didn't we two recently talk about lsd and how yogic it is, was that you?

@tlowedajuicemayne Really though? Do you not in some way have to strive? Like you need some dedication don't you? How else would you manage to sit there for an hour each day?

So ideally I'd read the two books from Leo's booklist about Kriya Yoga (the thick one and the thin one)? Do you know about any good youtube videos that directly through me in the practice?(Or even an online course if one exists). At the moment I'm reading other books already, so I won't be able to read the kriya books for a few weeks - months.

@Dabidoe I would say it's not very safe generally, but if all safety measures are taken it could work for healing purposes. Your condition can (temporarily) worsen after an experience if you haven't been able to handle it or couldn't adequately finish it (something left unresolved). Interestingly though if this happens you should do another trip to resolve what stayed unresolved, but you might then be too scared. And you better believe that if you have bipolar there's some really dark stuff in your unconscious mind. At least don't do it without comprehensive research and adequate preparation. Don't just "pop" some lsd at a party to have fun. You probably won't. Read Stanislav Grof's lsd psychotherapy. If you plan to do e.g. lsd then be prepared for the most negative stuff of your psyche to show up, because your mind wants it to be healed. If you do plan to it then of course you must assume it's gonna go well. Still I'd advise you to have an experienced sitter you can calm you down. You'll feel horrible emotions but if you allow them to be however they are you can overcome and release them. What lsd does is it makes the emotions that are otherwise stuck and rigid, fluid and releasable, shit comes up and can be puked out so to speak (sometimes literally). Probably the most important piece of advise is this: go with the flow. Don't try to alter the experience with your will power, you will get dominated if you try that. The trip will dictate what the trip is like. So if you're suddenly shit scared and thinking "fuck, I'm gonna go insane, I'm gonna be psychotic forever" then accept that this is how you feel. Be like "so shall it be...ok, I'll go insane, it is what it is, I chose this and here we go". With this type of acceptance and indifference you'll least likely get traumatised if things don't go well. Obviously your intention shouldn't be fun but serious healing, you typically won't have fun with that kind of condition on psychedelics. Also "therapy with substance" is said to be a great read, might wanna check it out. Cheers.

@NoSelfSelf @ryandesreu thanks! I'm thinking about delving into kriya and kundalini yoga and combine or integrate these practices with my meditation. It seems like incorporating the body more could be a good way to bring stillness to the mind too.

I mean any process where you bring up or become aware of energy within you with the ultimate goal of bringing everything into perfect (energetic) balance. Let me share what I already have done or keep doing with the corresponding benefits and then maybe you can add to that. Meditation => improves the energetic state in a general sense, feels vitalising especially for the brain but also the entire body Visualisation => for me preferably integrated into the meditation towards the end, brings up amazing positive energy Music => especially in combination with meditation and visualisation, brings up even more amazing energy, like profound gratefulness, connectedness etc Psychedelics (LSD) => brings up absolutely enormous amounts of disruptive (survival) energy related to traumas or negative past conditioning, kind of like a download of a big energy data pack, which then gets unpacked/unzipped and "opened" to then be converted into consciousness as in understanding about the origins of the energy, accompanied by massive emotional releases with crying and an "abreacting" of the energy with heavy tremors/shaking, upper body movements all of which happen involuntary/automatically but can be consciously interrupted if needed/desired. Is the most intense way of working with my energy thus far, but also seems like the most effective in terms of how much of my "negative energy" breaks away (improvements in reactivity to trauma triggers etc) Then combined with either one of the first 3 techniques (meditation, visualisation, music) or also simply by basking in the present moment, even more intense purely positive states can be reached, including things like existential ecstasy, pure joy of being, love, gratitude etc. It's basically like first dying to then be reborn, just that I haven't yet had the experience of actually dying (spiritually). Emotional freedom techniques/tapping (trigger work) => brings up a bit of the disruptive energy associated with negative conditioning by intentionally focusing on a trigger (memory, future event, a situation etc.) to then rebalance the dysbalance caused by the trigger; so it's like creating a bit of dysbalance to then establish balance again to teach body and brain that the reaction to a trigger is inappropriate and can be unlearned Works but feels a bit slow, some problems still seem a bit stubborn and like more is needed. Anyway I think those are the most important ones. What more do you know and how does it work? Which practices are there where someone else helps you to work on your energy in whichever way that is? Also: Has anyone of you worked with TRE, which is Tension and trauma releasing exercises? That stuff looks very interesting too and like you work very directly with energy (associated with your trauma) to release and reprocess it. But I have no idea. Thanks!

@Swarnim Thanks for providing this info. I had no idea of Bhakti and that you could literally ask deities for support.

I'm not sure if you're referring to the negative energy when emotionally triggered or energy in general, including positive energy, so I'll answer for both: Negative energy: only little control available, when the trigger is present (situation, specific type of person) the energy comes up and can hardly be controlled, I can only limit its influence by staying present and not engaging in the negativity of the pattern, as in not thinking more thoughts of the same energy. Longterm I do have control over it by repeatedly working on it with the techniques mentioned above. Positive energy: There's definitely a degree of control over bringing this energy up, I simply have to engage in the things like meditation or visualisation and music and then the brain and body fill up with this energy. Other energy: Then there's like a third type of energy linked to the other ones but still sort of independent/with its own life so to speak. I suspect it to be the beginnings of emerging Kundalini energy. I can sometimes clearly feel subtle movements in the spine that sort of move my back a little bit in a twisting/spiraling motion. This happens during trips, meditation or breathwork, especially when the meditative state is deep or the emotional state is elevated. Sometimes subtle yet noticeable energy start rising through the spine and reaches the brain. It can be accompanied by a sort of electric feeling which goes all the way up to the top of the head. There it can cause twitching in the face and eye muscles as though these muscles were stimulated by some low-key electrical current. I have no control over it. I also have no control over it when in psychedelic experiences huge amounts of energy get liberated and make the entire body shake, twitch and tremble, it's completely involuntary but feels like a higher intelligence is doing some energy healing on me

@Davino That's incredible haha. What dosage were that when you first had a kundalini awakening and how many lsd trips had you had under your belt? Would you have been able to stop the movements if for example you had moved dangerously close to some furniture or whatever? Also feel free to reply in my other post about working with energy, if you have anything to add, but no obligation ofc ?? Here's the text:

@Chives99 True! "Hurt people hurt people"! ?

@Benton thanks, I'll check it out. Edit: Would you mind giving just a short overview about which techniques/practices she mentions before I watch the 53 minutes? Like, is it different types of yoga or also other stuff? The first ones make sense but the "being confident" one seems like what you would get as the result of improved energy. Do you mean acting confident in spite of feeling some insecurity, thus raising your energy or do you mean just feeling and acting confident from the beginning?

That's interesting. There are other experiences where normal western people suddenly remembered being some Egyptian mortician in a past life who took care of very specific things associated with funeral like some kind of anointment or very specific actions during the ceremony. You could have contemplated more what your relation to random pieces of Egyptian technology might be, you might get surprised. That's fascinating stuff! When you had that Kundalini experience was the energy sort of intense in a survival sense (like fear/stress) in the beginning or was it like tons of love, joy, ecstasy from the get go?

There's this theory of authors like Arthur Janov ("early imprints") but also the researchers who were involved in the early LSD studies in the 1950s to 70s - especially Stanislav Grof ("realms of the human unconscious") about how the emotional and sensory pain endured during your biological birth is stored in your nervous system and thus in your unconscious mind. The theory is that these experiences of enduring things like high mechanical pressure on your head, temporary oxygen deficiency and the corresponding fear of dying, but also in general this entire fight for your life and the corresponding emotions - leave an imprint in your mind that acts as a type of archetypal pattern, sort of like a blueprint for your later problems in life. Examples: Someone gets strangulated by his/her own umbilical cord during birth and experiences the fetal version of extreme fear of dying, powerlessness and hopelessness. Now 30 years later this person might suffer from "inexplicable" symptoms like asthmatic attacks, shortness of breath, apparently physical symptoms related to the throat, maybe even the thyroid problems, feeling impotent generally or sexually and maybe even developing weird sexual kinks about being strangulated during sex, maybe even close or beyond the point of losing consciousness. The birth related trauma gets reexperienced and reprocessed (typically over various sessions) and all these symptoms disappear. This reexperience of the birth related pain can but doesn't have to be accompanied by a spiritual process of death and rebirth. I wanted to ask all of you here and especially @flowboy (because I know you've delved deep into this), what can be done to make this type of imprint conscious? Is it something that (in a sober non-psychedelic state) can only be experienced when you actually go to one of these institutes where they guide you through the process or is there something you can start doing right now in the comfort of your home?