Federico del pueblo

Sure, but it's important to note that (if I remember correctly) the op has NOT had sex with the girl yet and she is also acting weird and plays games etc. @Karmadhi has already shown "interest" on the date, has escalated to the kiss and the girl texts him this "the end was weird" kind of BS. If he now keeps texting a lot he might actually make himself less interesting, she is already showing less investment than he is.

@Karmadhi I don't remember the details of the story with your girl, but just wanted to add my 2 cents in terms of the messaging. With some girls it can work to text a little bit more, but the context is very important. If she's already showing little investment then you texting her more probably will just make you another orbiter of hers. Once you've had sex with her and there is more commitment from her, then it could actually hurt you if you rarely ever text her. I once had a girl tell me "well, you never text me, so I feel like I don't know you (silly logic from my pov because you'd only get to know a person when you meet up, but anyway...), and I don't want to meet up with people I don't know". Until then I had only ever texted her when I wanted to schedule the next date, but it seemed kinda obvious that if I kept doing this I would have lost her (she basically told me this). So from then on I had a little bit of back and forth via text and then at some point scheduled the next date, no more complaints ? This continued for probably more than 6 months until she went back to her own country. Sometimes girls will tell you what you need to do to sleep with them, but ofc it's hard to know when this is the case and when not, so take it with a grain of salt.

What is that supposed to mean?

What more needs to be understood? Is it really that hard to find out if you have some homosexuality in you?

How fast does this stuff work after swallowing the pill?

Are you triggered into anger or into insecurity? Anyway, I think you just have to persist with calling them out on their BS. And there is this saying of "love it, change it, or leave it". If you find that your efforts don't get you the results in the mid to long term, then maybe you want to consider relocating. And maybe see if some empathy helps you. These girls might have their own fuck ups, so they need these strategies, it just helps them to feel better.

Then what makes a woman a whore in your eyes. This differs for different people, so it would be interesting to know how define whore.

What makes her a bitch as opposed to a lady or a woman?

You can though! It's just a matter of which pain do you prefer feeling? The pain of being made fun of, or the pain of speaking up inspite of some fear/discomfort/resistance. I know it feels awkward to assert yourself if you're not used to it, but it gets better, just like the other social anxieties. It also doesn't take a super elaborate "declaration of war" or anything fancy, just like the "I feel like you do X, how do you see this? (ideally with examples of specific events)" I mentioned before.

The girls could be full of shit and insecure, so they derive a sense of strength or superiority when judging or devaluing others. Maybe they are also just silly and clueless. I think you must openly communicate to them what you're not ok with in terms of their behaviour. The longer you allow them to do these things the worse it'll get and at some point it becomes humiliating. "Girls, honestly I feel you two sometimes speak in way that is somewhat condescending, and I feel disrespected by it (name concrete examples of instances). How do you feel about this? (See what they say). I'd appreciate it if you could stop doing this." But I don't know, maybe sometimes your mind is playing tricks on you too. Maybe they're just laughing/smiling because they find you so fucking hot (that's probably what your standard assumption should be, unless proven otherwise...).

@Hardkill Whenever you ask a question like "do all women do X...?" or "does nobody do Y?" etc. you can be almost certain that the answer is no. So there are girls who have a ONS and it's the guy who messages them again but the girl ghosts him because she clearly just wanted a hook up without continuation.

I wouldn't have let her gotten away with that. Seems like really annoying games playing. So my response would have been something like "don't do that again though, I'm not the kind of guy you can play these games with...it doesn't matter what your intention was ("training your confidence "), I don't tolerate that kind of behaviour, so two strikes and you're out, ok?" It's important to not seem butthurt though when you assert yourself like this, so you can't say this and seem very angry or like you're about to cry, it should be more a "It's simply assumed that you will adjust your behaviour (I don't waste my time with BS)" kind of vibe. But this is grey area stuff and others might have very different opinions here, so let's see what they say.

Yeah Not being an English native speaker I had to look up this word But I'm glad that you're also learning from the threads here.

@Leo Gura Good advice. Thanks!

But not in the way in which men do it with women. Women favor good looks, but if you don't have ideal looks you still have decent chances to succeed if many other things are good. It's also easier for your ego to believe that there's nothing you can do because of your looks. Until you don't make an effort to improve yourself and become proactive with women it's gonna be very easy for you to make yourself believe it's looks what is limiting you. Ask yourself what you want. If you want to become better with women then do whatever you can to improve yourself while ignoring all the limiting black pill/incel kind of ideologies.

It's still excuses to a large degree. Nobody is denying that some guys were dealt a very bad hand. Of course, if you are short, have a weird face, autism and are really skinny (or whatever else), then dating is gonna be much harder for you. But you can still attract some women. It'll just take longer and require more work to get to the point where things are working out for you. I mean just look at Owen Cook for example. He's short, bolding af, ginger and has autism (Asperger's). He still got laid by hundreds of girls. Often your insecurities about your flaws matter more than your flaws. Just make the best out of yourself and take action. Also lower your standards, especially in the beginning. If you are a 4/10 then be ok with dating 4/10 girls. Simultaneously work on becoming a 6/10 and just keep going.

So you'd have a date and basically just keep your man to woman stuff at a certain level, like say 4/10 sexual, and the touch also at a corresponding level? @aurum

@Someone here So let's address this one by one. I think before even thinking about what to talk about you need to undertake an important mindset shift here. You must lower the standard for how good something needs to be, so it's good enough to be brought up in a conversation. This is probably already the number 1 thing where most guys will fail. Guys are so concerned about the girl's perception of them, that they think only amazing things are good enough. Like "yeah, I typically fly with my helicopter from Philadelphia to NYC twice a week, last week we got in some crazy storm and almost died..." No, don't think like this or you'll never have anything to say. Do the opposite!! Everything that ever comes to your mind is good enough and it has value because it has value for you. You should be able to make a girl wet by talking about how you made yourself breakfast this morning, like what the experience of making and eating it was like. The next question is what could ever be talked about? You could talk about everything that exists in the entire universe, but there is a hierarchy of what matters a lot and what matters little. What matters a lot to her is e.g. how others view her or think about her. Therefore whenever you can make an assumption about her about something that you've noticed, it's a good thing. "You look really studentish...hm...wait... I'd say you study psychology". This is more interesting than just asking, it creates more intrigue because she can wonder why you would assume that, whether you were right or wrong. A lot of the Infos you'll ever receive of her can be used to make things flirtatious. Like if she actually says "yep, I study psychology" you can tease her like "oh wait, but you're not one of these girls who will now constantly analyse everything I say and what it means about my psyche...cause that will ruin everything :)" So you take an info about her and wonder what this could mean about the (potential) relationship of the two of you. Apart from that anything about which you know something/what you did/experienced could be talked about. And you could put something like "I just had to think about when I (experienced X)..., so we were in X place with some friends and then..." and then you just tell the story. But tell it in an emotional way, not in a logical way. What did that mean to you? How did you feel? What was the ambient like (paint pictures and write "songs" instead of just listing facts)? Or you just start rambling about something you really enjoy. "Man I just started reading a really cool fiction book...(what happens, explain emotionally). "Man...I really love working out recently!!! Oh, and you can't give me such a devious look btw...anyway...when I work out I just feel powerful, it's amazing (details!!! What's your favourite exercise? Biceps curls? Say it "oh let me check out your biceps quickly...hm, yeah that counts as a biceps, not too bad". "Yesterday out of nowhere I just started to think about how fuckin big the universe is...and it blew my mind! Did you know that the light of this star (point to some star you know), when it arrives here so we're able to see it, has traveled for a few thousand years?" Also whenever she brings up something herself you can endlessly keep talking about that. Just start to associate. In each sentence there are many jump off points. Like "I studied X in the university of California in Y-City" - studying - university - university of California - California - X subject - Y city There's so much to talk about. You can ask follow up questions or contribute something you know about one of the things yourself. "Cool, so then you're probably a summer girl right? You like to have some palm trees on a campus and read your course books on the beach and stuff like that don't you?" "I always wanted to visit California, but still haven't managed to so" (what intrigues you about California so you've always wanted to visit it?) You can search for an exercise called the "yes, and exercise". Here somebody says something and you have to immediately follow up with "yes, and" and then spill out whatever comes to your mind without planning ahead. Like this you train to free associate and keep talking without censoring yourself too much. Any sentence of a dialogue in a book or a YouTube video or movie could be used to practice this. And then you can yes and yourself and keep talking forever. Or grab an object and speak out the first observation that comes to your mind. Like, e.g. a cup. You could even game the cup "You're a kind of special cup, because you have this conical shape to you. I mean you look nice, but honestly I just prefer straight cups. Don't get me wrong, you look cool, you're a decent cup, but nothing compares to the feeling of holding a straight cup in my hands...and let's be honest, your shape let's the center of gravity rise higher up, so you're just a little bit less stable than the straight cups now don't feel insecure about your shape, I think your handle is pretty nice, so it kind of makes up for your overall shape...etc etc." With exercises like these you train your brain to become good at bullshitting and that's very important if you want to have fun, lighthearted and interesting conversations. Ok, that should be enough for the start.

That was quite fast. It's not long ago when you asked for opinions about where to move

Yes. Feels more stimulating than the real deal. For this reason I don't like it too much, something that creates less friction would be better, but I don't know if such a thing exists. It's kinda like you start fucking it but then after not too much time you're close to the point of no return, but also your dick starts to feel so hyper stimulated. Kind of like the way it feels after cumming, when the head is still so hyper sensitive, in a way that further stimulation is almost unbearable.

Yes. If you watch too much porn you'll become impotent with women. You also might after some time experience heightened levels of social anxiety. Maybe your brain will start functioning less optimally, due to the extreme and repeated dopamine surges (if you have hard-core, marathon sessions). Solutions: Find a buddy, maybe here on the forum or somewhere else, and every time you relapse you have to pay 10$ to his PayPal, or maybe you have to donate 10$ to the political party you hate the most Install porn blockers. Make it very hard to access porn. Have real sex. Masturbate without porn (maybe you'll want a flashlight, see other thread). Do other productive things, like meditation, working out, reading, engaging with your life purpose.

Well, the dark sky part sounds nice. But I'm a bit surprised by the cemetery and sitting at the tomb part. That sounds a bit spooky and like it could be the beginning of a horror movie where all of a sudden the guy says "and now I'm gonna show you your tomb (evil face)" But nice if you enjoyed it.

@Javfly33 Honestly, it doesn't matter how the fuck we call whatever is going on. Whether this is a inner child that needs healing, or trauma that needs to be overcome or the inner monster that needs to be killed. Sure, our language should be chosen carefully, so we don't limit ourselves with it or make things harder because of how we call certain things (e.g. it's probably better to think "I have a bunch of weaknesses" than "I'm a complete loser"), but apart from that I'm not a big fan of becoming so fixated on words. In the end all these words are still just maps. You haven't fixed anything just because you know your inner child needs healing (I know, you don't use that term anyway). The fact of the matter is that there are problems and you need solutions right? Techniques or procedures that actually yield results right? So have certain things already worked for you and what exactly has worked?

That what you just described must be like the female version of porn, right?

Great! I think it's good that now we have a system of rules that allows us to transmit information via any kind of variation of a physical quantity. And we also have clearly defined the rules, syntax, semantics and synchronization of communication and possible error recovery methods, which will help us to communicate in the most effective way from now on. Oh and just so you know the entire truth: When I wrote my first comment about writing a letter to a girl, there was not even yet any idea of a girlfriend. It was just joke. The idea of maybe doing this to a girlfriend came later on, after you had commented again. So technically, the "mistake" I "apologized" for was not really a mistake. (This is just for the protocol...). But I'm still glad that we now have our communication protocol established. It will surely be beneficial for everyone.