Federico del pueblo

@Someone here yeah no worries, we're good ?? Yeah, I agree here. Of course, you handsome charismatic sigma male kinda guy ? Nah seriously, just keep improving and you're fine. Less forum posts, more grinding ok?

Look, it's all good if you have arguments against masturbation, but at the end of the day everyone must feel into their body and feel what an activity does to them. If I fapped 3x per day I'd have a problem. But my masturbation is moderated. Also I agree on the porn thing. Porn indeed does have negative effects on me, so I don't do it. But we can't just mix different things together and then say the first thing (masturbation) is really bad because of the second thing. Probably having sex while tripping on heroin is much more unhealthy than just sex alone, right? This doesn't make sex more unhealthy though. And yes, as with everything, you can do masturbation in the wrong way. Just like working out done correctly is health promoting and working out in the wrong way can cause health problems. Then, regarding this point, normal sex is just as detrimental if you ejaculate. And btw, I totally respect it if someone doesn't want to fap. The only thing that gets annoying is if some constantly tells people what they shouldn't do and then calls them weak if they don't live up to his arbitrary standard. Like, I don't know if you eat meat. But in case you do, you probably don't want to constantly have some vegans lecture you on how you shouldn't eat meat and how bad it is etc., right? Btw, you also have to beware of your own confirmation bias. You made the experience that masturbation affected you badly. Now you're looking for evidence for why masturbation is bad. But have you ever tried to do the opposite? Like doing research for 2 hours on what are all the scientifically proven health benefits of masturbation? You won't have to search long to find benefits either if that's what you want to focus on.

@Someone hereh Sorry, but this is simply not the experience of a lot of guys (the masturbation problems). Let me address it one by one. Maybe science says that. I don't feel weak from masturbating at all though. No it doesn't. It has quite the opposite on me. It makes me feel relaxed and relieved. (Porn certainly can have these effects though) Easy to prevent by simply not using a tight grip. And no, vaginas aren't that wide. It's not like the average vaginal opening is wider than the average penis. The grip I use when masturbating is often so light that I'm barely still moving the skin. The arousal comes from naughty (?) thoughts, which btw also have positive effect on ones sexuality. You could say the same about sex (or about reading or playing volleyball or meditation). But actually it's not all that addicting when you do it responsibly. It's kinda like with every type of pleasure, that at some point we'd like re-experience the thing. It creates relaxation. So if you already were tired before masturbation (or sex for that matter), then you'll have an easier time falling asleep after masturbating. But I don't see any harm in that. Often we masturbate when we want a short release of tension anyway. The tiredness after masturbating goes away quickly and then I'm better than before. No it doesn't. It creates satisfaction and relaxation in my soul. Of course it's not a strategy to become happy or whatever. It's just a healthy temporary activity. No it doesn't. I feel completely fine after ejaculating. Well you are one to speak about relationships But I don't think it has anything to do with whether or not you're a man. Realize that this is a bias of yours

I think that's pretty normal, but might change over time. I don't have this anymore. Once you've made out with a lot of girls you become a little numb to the event and then you might need to sleep with a girl to get that same feeling. And the same can then probably happen again. We simply like to be validated sometimes. And whilst we don't live in caves anymore we still react similarly to cavemen. You still received a lot of social conditioning that taught you that approaching unknown girls is unusual, even in bars/clubs. Not too many guys do it and you're brain picked up on that rule early on and now you have this mental/physiological program that's running your emotions. Your brain works exactly as it should, protecting you from perceived social threats

@Someone here I wasn't talking about mindless sex with hookers. I referred to dating girls, maybe some ONS with regular girls, lose relationships etc. Which is going to be much easier in some western countries than your country.

@Someone here nah don't worry. I just thought that the one liner of my first post pretty much summed up what you needed to hear Anyway I contemplated 'your case' a little bit. I think you should definitely consider doing a year abroad as a student, maybe somewhere in Europe. I see so many Asian students here and this would probably make getting laid a lot easier. I mean you are good-looking too (if you're the guy in that one playback singing video), so if you're not limited by the conservative norms of your country you might have a much easier time. I mean just think about it. 5 years until you can have sex and 1 woman for the rest of your life ?

It is true but it won't work for you as a strategy. Only once you're good enough with women that attracting them is kinda effortless, then you will see this principle at play (working in your favour). For a beginner it can be a misleading mindset because it might cause you to think that you should just be standing in a night club with sunglasses looking cool and like you're not even trying... won't work! Once you can easily talk to women then you can also just have fun and maybe attract some women like this (because you look so non-needy). Also if you have other hobbies that you're passionate about and girls can see you do it, this can be attractive because you look so immersed and like you don't need anything else. But if you're not good yet with girls then you have to try!

Yeah. No offense though. You'll get there. And then these threads like this one will probably disappear. Yeah, that's a good attitude though!

@Someone here It's time for you to get laid bro!

Yeah, the confidence of really young and good-looking girls often has something narcissistic about it. It's not like this girl really has strong core confidence. She's received a lot of "oh you're so hot/pretty" feedback and that's what her confidence is based on. It's probably fragile. And then you keep needing more external validation.

@Karmadhi I honestly feel like you got a few things twisted regarding attraction. You shouldn't remove ALL empathy and kindness. You just shouldn't be kind and empathetic just to please her (or pursue her). There's a difference between doing something and then NEEDING something back from her (= neediness) or doing something because it's just human decency to do it. In game the basic message you want to send to a girl is: "There's a chance that it could work out with you and I, but I'm not sure yet, maybe it won't work, maybe it will. I have to find out whether you're up to my standards. If you're not up to my standards I also have no problems with walking away from you, and incase you reject me I'm also fine with that". Then, to reinforce this willingness to walk away you also do things to push her away a bit (teasing, push pulls etc.). Yes, with some girls you can or have to be toxic to pursue them, but that's because they're toxic and damaged too. If a girl has a history of being abused emotionally, then the best kind of game would be to do something similar i.e. constantly communicating that she's not enough or so, BUT you should avoid these girls and not damage them even more. That's bullshit and a misunderstanding. If you have higher perceived value than the girl (from her pov) then that's all you need. From a guy like that she WANTS to be treated well and with respect. It's not like girls want to be treated like dirt. But as long as you don't have enough value she doesn't care about you treating her well. That's why in old school game "demonstrating high value" comes FIRST. The way game creates value is that first you show different attractive qualities like confidence BUT ALSO a willingness to walk away = a form of non-neediness. You not needing her but still being potentially interested and being unapologetic about your potential interest makes you attractive for her. And if at some point you've done enough good game she wants to convince you of her, thus she wants you to care about her a little bit, and at some a little bit more and so on. And then you actually can care about her to some extent (without becoming a needy doormat kind of guy) while also still demonstrating attractive qualities. At this point the message is a bit more like. "Ok, you've kinda won me over a little bit. I've started to like you and care about you to some extent. But if you mess up this will change again, so be a good girl :)" In essence you can't be only kind an loving because that's just boring, you need a mixture of positive and edgy, with edgy being the game stuff.

@somegirl being pretty doesn't mean that she can't be a validation addict

Nah...that sounds like something that girls would do.

Or you could've started with "Hey, you look exactly like that girl that stalked me in elementary school... should I be worried?"

I have no idea why you would start an exchange with "hey, very ugly posts", what is that even supposed to mean? Was it irony? You could have started with "hey...you look kinda adorable in your pic, but that facial expression says "I'm trouble" right?"

@somegirl Sorry to hear that. Even in that case we don't really know what was going on. He might have liked you but thought it was cooler to deny it. High school people can be very unpredictable anyway. In the recent case you described it all seems very unambiguous though. I mean if HIS FRIEND texts you that this guy liked you, how could he possibly have known that? Only if they talked about it. But maybe the people who talked about him were being like low-key bullies, making a bit of fun of him. Then obviously the ego feels emasculated and wants to defend any remaining honour and pride, so he just denied that he even liked you (hoping this would solve the problem).

Shouldn't that all be quite obvious? He felt rejected and silly. Then he felt like a school boy who got caught liking a girl that didn't like him back:. "hahah Tommy likes Tina, Tommy likes Tina..." So now he has to deny it to save face and not feel even more humiliated. Also his action of putting his hand on your waist seems uncalibrated, like he doesn't know what he's doing. The upper arm/shoulder is a much better starting point for physicality, but ideally what is spoken about verbally should match that physicality, like he shouldn't be speaking about the weather while touching a girl.

@Karmadhi It's true that the young girls (and maybe even not so young ones) often respond well to toxic, slightly asshole-ish behaviour. But that's just cause it's more interesting than the stereotypical nice guy. The nice guy is needy, clingy, and attached. You can still run good game without being super toxic. You must be DETACHED, not toxic. Admittedly the line between these two things can seem very thin. You could actually be quite positive if you're also very non-needy. You're non-needy if you are not concerned about a girl's judgement of you and about whether or not it works out with you and her, thus you're also not concerned about potential rejection. In fact once you are extremely non-needy you're more concerned about whether SHE meets your standards, not about whether you're good enough for her. Girls feel drawn to guys that have more of something that they feel they don't have enough of. That's why good game has a lot to do with validation. If girls feel that you have more self-love than them, then they will often get attracted, the same is true for happiness, passion, a cool life etc. (So start with self-love). But you can't be fake-happy like some goofball who's actually seeking validation by entertaining others with silly jokes. You must be the source of validation. All that people are chasing is love and happiness and a lot of people try to attain that by attaining validation from others. With girls the validation that you give can't be completely unconditional though. A girl only gets your validation if she's cool enough. Your validation must be earned. You can't be like Jesus with girls, like when they slap you, you let them slap your other cheek, no no no. Strong boundaries, standards, fearlessness, non-neediness, man-to-woman stuff, willingness to walk away etc.

There we have it. You like guys, not girls...that changes everything! ?

??? Incredible how hard reality slaps us in the face sometimes, isn't it? ?

Think about it. Do you know how much time that would take if Leo always wrote long well thought out replies? He's got a 36k post count, writes many replies every day. That's a lot of work already.

Seems like good game. It's also good if you still want to take her home for sex, because if you make out heavily with her in front of her friends and then want to take her home she might feel judged for leaving with you because her friends will know that it's probably for sex and then she might not want to do it.

@RedLine Great! Now that we're already translating so much, do you by any chance have a good translation for the word "trouble" in Spanish? Like you might say to a girl "oh oh...you seem like trouble, I'm gonna be careful with you :)" I want to experiment with "traviesa" maybe "bribona" , "peligrosa" or even "bandida" (creo que eres una bandida) but I don't know if these words have this kind of meaning and sound ok in Spanish, I don't want to end up saying "you look like a slut" you know ?

Yeah, I get that. Though what you can sometimes do for practice purposes is to intentionally ask/say sort of weird things, at least if you have a fairly good night life scene where there are many bars/clubs so you're not immediately known as the weird guy. Basically like doing some challenges that are a bit embarrassing so you can start to give less of a fuck about being judged (this is not good game, it's just training). Like tell a bartender that you want a drink that is named after you and what the ingredients are etc. ? Yeah, that can be difficult. I'm not a native Spanish speaker but do speak Spanish and probably because people realize that I'm not a local I can get away with saying weird stuff. How is the word "chulo/chula" perceived where you live? Like "la gente más chula siempre se encuentra por aquí" Anyway just alter the stuff so it works in Spanish. Maybe you can sometimes just bounce into a group and be like "Joder! Qué gente más guapa por aquí! Me tengo que quedar un momentito! Buenas! Todo bien?" This might still seem weird, but also realize that even if you said the English "coolest people" phrase from above somewhere in the US, you'll probably still feel weird and judged because it's awkward to open groups if you're not used to it.

I think it depends a bit on the environment. But basically you just spit out a lot of random stuff, nothing too serious, neither too committed. For the most part just a few words while you're walking past some people/one person, like "Hey, what's up?" "What's good?" "Hey man, how doing => bro fist" "Cool shirt, my man" "cheers => clink glasses" And it's more like you keep slowly walking and only if someone seems really responsive you might add something to it or they say something back so you sort of get pulled back in the conversation when you had already almost walked past them. Then maybe a few more things where you have to actively walk to them, like "Hey, I heard this is the spot where the coolest people always meet, is this you tonight? :)" "What's the best drink here?" "Hi guys, you seemed like cool people, so I wanted come by for a second, how you're all doing? Good? Awesome! You all local people? Nice! It's my first time here in this night club, yeah I kinda like it...blablablabla" Remember it's more about the energy than whether what you say makes a lot of sense, you must seem like you've been talking to people for the last 200 years, completely normal for you. And nothing is too silly or random, everything is good enough, at least in high energy crazy venues, not when you're at the Oscars (sure people can always find you weird, but it doesn't matter). "Hey guys, man you wouldn't believe me what kind of an amazing salad I made myself today, like I cut some cucumber and tomatoes and the sauce was with olive oil and lemon juice, so damn good!" And then you just keep shit talking and hold the frame no matter what. "Why do you tell us this random stuff?" => "Because the salad was so damn good! Don't be envious, I might make one for you if we ever get along" Just a lot of bullshit.