ebrink06

Thanks for your response. I think changing the paradigm of thought through positive action comes slowly. Positive acts and positive thoughts build on each other. A nice thought can lead to a happy action which can make you feel good and have more positive thoughts which can lead to more positive actions. Maybe focusing on feeling good (without abandoning consideration for your future self) is a good way to propel it. From my personal experience, thoughts are more significant than actions. I was recently nominated for an award for some of my accomplishments but it didn't initially make me feel good. I won't go into details but essentially I didn't feel like I deserved it. So even though my actions were positive and others recognized that, my thoughts were not on the same level. I had also been doing affirmations for a few months which really made a difference in many areas of my life. I got to a point though where I realized I didn't believe what I was saying. I'm kind of at a stand still now. Resolved to try to enjoy life moment by moment- a little break until I feel recovered enough to start believeing in myself again. Not sure if I'm making sense...

I think you're doing great…. This should make you angry. There are horrific acts justified by islam and other belief systems. The fact that this enrages you is fantastic. It enrages me too. It's even more upsetting that the belief system of "liberalism" glorifies it, and as you say, "ignores the core values they are supposed to stand by". So many people buy into it, it's very difficult to escape, especially in an academic setting. They also ignore their value of "diversity and open mindedness", by completely shutting down your argument as logical as it may be. It's also enraging to not be heard! I think the important thing here is to realize that you're not having a real discussion with this person/people. You might as well be speaking to a ton of bricks. They're not capable of having a rational discussion. Your challenge is to find people that are capable of that and hold on to them for dear life! And I think you may be doing that. You're not acting out violence, you're talking about it with compassionate people who understand reason and logic. Please keep standing by your principles and talking about it when the moment strikes. The world needs you! But know when the person has stopped being rational. Just keep filtering until you've found a friend or two or three that are intelligent enough to converse with you! Keep up the good work I want to share a personal note to give you perspective. I have had anger issues too, which is why I originally clicked on this thread. Mine were for much, much less. One trigger for me was if I dropped something, or if something fell, I would pick it up and then it would fall again. I would become enraged and break things over this. It's truly crazy to think about. I taught myself to control it. I think that I knew it was insane and I didn't want to be that person, and that's what allowed me to take control. It took maybe a year to master and it hasn't completely gone away. I remember feeling my brain be flooded with whatever chemical happens when you get angry. Instead of reacting, I would try to pause and be aware of that feeling and wait for it to pass. The above dropping scenario happened just a couple of days ago and I felt that same flooding. Now though it lasts just a second or two and it's over. I still experience negative emotions though. When I learned to control my anger, I felt deep sadness creep in. So now I'm dealing with trying to overcome depression and suicidal thoughts. Positive affirmations have been a big help, but I took a break from them when I hit a low point and couldn't believe anything I was trying to tell myself. Still exploring the root and the solution… Anyway, I hope that helps. My anger was most often destructive and pointless and crazy, yours could be productive, important and completely rational.