IAmPaulQuinn

"Tomorrow, I'm going to go outside, explore my area, make friends and date girls!" Tomorrow comes — and trying to execute my plan feels dreadful, I feel tired, and "not in the mood to socialize and go outside." I rather just stay at home, do my work, etc. How can I fix this? Note: - I don't have anxiety or anything. I'm a confident person. - Advice like "Just do it" is a short term solution. — since I've gone outside & socialized a lot recently but I still don't have the desire to do it again. - My dream life is to go on adventures, travel, and talk with strangers! (But when it's time to *actually* go do it —— I'm tired, "not in the mood", "leave me alone", dread feeling.)

Let me set some points for clarification: - I like girls. And I would love to have a romantic relationship with a special someone and build a great family. Let's continue: I've been thinking a lot about this recently. With self awareness, I realize that most of my motivation for chasing 'success' is to make sure I have a wide variety of mates to acquire. The only problem with this is that: I feel a sense of meaninglessness. Like, what am I doing? I want to build a meaningful life, following my core values and activities that will bring me to fulfillment. I want to focus on a small number of things that is important to me. Girls should be a bonus. That's it. I don't think it should be my main motivation for chasing after the weird definition of 'success' that society tells me to acquire. Thoughts?

I'm a young man who is questioning a lot of things at this moment. With the help of self awareness, I realized that my primary motivation for 'getting after it' is to increase my ability to get laid. (Attract girls and hopefully have sex.) .. And I believe its because I got pressured by our culture to "Get girls and get laid!!! Or your a gay man!! An unsuccessful man!!! A scared cat!! Haha!" This, deep down, actually feels fucking empty. I don't know what's the obsession about wanting to get sex. It just feels shallow. Look, I'm 17. I would love to experience having a relationship with a girl and have sex. But I really want to look at it as a bonus. Not a primary motivation for why I 'get after it' in life. This self awareness was eye opening to me. I want to live a meaningful life where I follow my heart. I want to die with a smile on my face, knowing that I focused on the most important things in life for me. Thoughts? EDIT: Guys, I'm not saying that I don't like girls and sex. I want girls and sex. But It's only a bonus. Not my primary motivation in life. I have more meaningful things I want to do before I die than chase girls obsessively. The right girl will come in my life, and I will cherish her.

Thank you, @SamC. I'm still confused about your statements but I understand. Again, as I said: - Yes. I want girls and sex. But it's not my main focus in life. It is simply a bonus. I feel like I have more worthwhile things to do, than obsessively chase girls like all blind men do. As they said: Don't chase girls, and the girls will chase you. - Am I repressing it and hiding from it because I'm scared of girls? Probably. Not really. Maybe. I don't know. Depends on how we look at it, haha.

I'm so curious about the difference between true success and false success. This video was eye-opening, but I need more information to really believe it. I'm 17 years old right now. I want to know the TRUE PATH that will lead me to fulfillment. Please, give me more information, this video was not enough. Questions: 1.) What areas on life should I focus on to be fulfilled and die with a smile on my face? (Ex: Financial security, Family, Passion?, etc.) 2.) One thing that motivates me to follow society's definition of 'success' is acquiring girls and having sex. Funnily enough, I want to know if this is a trap and should I just be me and just find that one simple girl who likes me for who I am? Thank you.

@Bando This replies are confusing me. I don't think my sex drive is low, in fact, it's very high. Oh, trust me. Haha. What I'm saying is this: - All this talk about getting laid is cool, and I would love to experience it, but it shouldn't be my main motivation for getting up in bed and staying disciplined. I simply think I should look at it as just a bonus, instead of pressuring myself to stay disciplined because girls like ambitious man! (But how about my happiness and work-life balance? Give me a simple girl, and I'll be happy with her.) - There's too many pretty girls in this world, and I can't have them all. If I value girls too much, and some of them reject me, I would be sad. I want to only care about a simple girl that I am truly attractive to, but not be obsessed about chasing her. That's it. Girls are not the center of my life, but just a part of it. - If a random high school girl classmate wants to have a one night stand with me for fun, then I will accept. Because peak experiences are great. Haha.

So you're saying that my subconscious is fucking me up? That perhaps chasing after girls is worth it and should be pursued? Yes, I want a girl in my life, but my thought process is this: It's only Secondary. Not the main part of my life.

I didn't say at all that I want to permanently stop myself from getting laid. Haha. I said that I want it to be a secondary motivation. A bonus. I would love it, but it's not something that's on the forefront of my mind 24/7. Thank you, Roy.

I read your post and I thought about whether I was making an excuse because I was scared of talking to girls. Maybe? I don't know if I'm making an excuse. Or maybe I'm in denial? I really don't know. I really just want to make it a secondary motivation so I don't have to deal with this negative pressure to 'get after it' and actually focus on balance and creating a meaningful life that I'm proud of. Maybe what I'm saying is this: - My meaningful life first. Girls are secondary. That's it.

Interesting suggestion. Thank you, universe!

As soon as I clicked this post, I knew somebody was gonna say this, haha.

I'll definitely use my gut feeling to initiate ideas and activities that sounds fulfilling for me. As a young soul, I still have a lot more learnings to do. But I won't stress about it- for that does nothing. I will simply enjoy the process. Thank you, Matt!

I'm 17 years old. I've realized along the way the deep problems of marketing and how it can change cultures in a negative way. This is only exacerbated by the fact that highly POPULAR social media platforms like Facebook and TikTok exists. (Which, don't get me wrong, they are benefits to the existence of this platforms, but they are also HUGE downsides to it as well.) Especially TikTok, where most people have high beauty standards and acts like acquiring an IPhone and expensive nonsense is the best thing in the world. (No hate towards people that likes luxurious things. I like them too, but I'm not spending what I haven't earned, no matter how much marketing power a product or service has on the masses.) No wonder most people at my age are confused and highly distracted on what truly matters. And I don't desire to be confused. I want clarity. Any blueprint? A map? What ideas and activities should one instill in one's life to live a meaningful and fulfilling life? Please. I need this map. I don't want to be part of the zombies. Haha.

As of right now, with limited experience in life as a human being, I am leaning towards researching, learning, sharing and digging deep to find the truth about life. For I think, it seems to be the only thing worth chasing. Thank you, Megan! I really appreciate it.

Thank you, Sahil. I am very lucky to have you here. I'm definitely a knowledge guy, so number 5 really struck with me. Much love.

I don't get it. Haha.

If the traditional 'success' of society is not what should be chased, and it is simply an illusion that won't bring deep fulfillment, then what is? What should we chase? What areas of our life should we really focus on? Money plays a ee too right? Fame has downsides but it also has benefits, right? Please be specific. I am really curious. I know the wisdom of 'just be happy now.' Although, quite helpful, it can be quite hypocritical when you're already rich and comfortable and you give this advice. It's annoying.

No offense, I love fancy quotes and cute words. But this is not gonna cut it.

It's a video titled: "Successful people are Not Happy."

Thank you for responding. And what does this mean? Leo, has a whole topic about not chasing success. Because it's an illusion. Happiness and growth is what you want, he says. Side note: I really don't want the replies here to be a stage show for words to evoke emotions that is not practical or actionable, as that annoys me.

Yes. The process is what generates happiness. But, this completely disregards Leo's teaching on not chasing success. I'm sorry, but this whole thing is making me confused and makes me think that this topic is utter nonsense and I shouldn't be overthinking too much about it. Here is my real question, and I'll say it again and again: - What life areas should we actually focus on for fulfillment and happiness? (Ex: Health? Wealth? Family?)

Thank you, SurfingWave. I'm guessing that you are a regular consumer and action-taker of self improvement material. I would love your answers on this several questions, so I can selfishly skip the nonsense that our culture shoves in our throats nowadays: 1.) What are the life areas that will generate the most fullfillment and happiness in life? (Ex: Family? Health?) 2.) I've been realizing that being able to attract a beautiful and stunning GIRLS is what makes me just want to be my best self and conquer the world, and acquire massive resources such as status, wealth, fame and power. Again, is this a trap? - Note: If pretty girls didn't exist, I probably wouldn't care about seeking power, and seek more happiness in my life. Haha, oh lord, please help me. (It's not like I won't be happy seeking power, I'm all about balance anyways. So I think it's fine. Right?

As much as I love the wisdom that you said here, I feel like it's missing. Yes, chase nothing. But I feel like this is utter nonsense, because as humans, we are always solving a problem. What we need is 'better problems.' So the next question is: What problems should we focus on for fulfillment? Yes, enjoy the journey. But of course, having a 'path' or a destination may also help. Yes, creativity adds up to life fulfillment. But saying that 'money is an illusion' just doesn't add up. You need money to pay things. It's not an illusion- it's a real thing that you should worry about IF you want to survive and acquire things that 'feeds your soul.' We wouldn't be able to participate in this forum without paying for our digital devices with MONEY. I'm convinced that BALANCE is everything. Success and Happiness should be instilled in our calendar. Perhaps work first, and then play after. I am only 17 years old, but I still have lots of questions surrounding this topic.