Rishabh R

Owen. An advice from an internet friend -Rishabh. Try to listen to her compassionately , support her on her mental health journey and remind her that her last doesn't decide her future love life potential. Try to make her understand that it is better to detach past traumatic circumstances from future potentials. Overall it seems wise to me that she is taking professional help ,sorting this out by talking to you. It speaks me about healthy processing of emotional pain and symptoms rather than supression which many people do by addictive substances to numb their negative emotions.

Criticizing others based on inaccurate assumptions about them without doing the investigative work in their circumstances,nature,genetics ,family background etc.

@integral This is a wise insight, 2 years ago I recognized that more I run from negative emotions more they get amplified and paradoxically more I accept them the lesser they disturb me or get reduced. Thank you.

@Amer I would advise to just start and remeber that taking action is simpler as well as easier than we think. Stop caring about external outcomes ,metrics and only care about putting effort . Sorry if my tone seems harsh but I have experience the immense benefits of this mindset . All the best.

@eTorro Your doing great work by Mastering your mind since mind influences action,living,emotions etc. My thought is that consider mind mastery more important during failure,adversity and suffering. For example applying Growth mindset during failure (I personally applied it for more than a year when I was facing rejections constantly in my campus placement and finally I got into corporate sector ),reframing your experience during suffering and adversity . Final take of mine on this impressive post is - Consider questioning your thoughts for checking their accuracy and validity. They all are path of mind mastery since, bullshit thoughts and assumptions are the mind's default way of operating in the world which create problems since mental and physical world are intimately connected.

Happy Birthday @Leo Gura

Trying to stop caring about validation and instead caring about one's own behaviour is a better thing to care about than wheather other people validate you or not. Learned this after huge amount of suffering,insults and disrespectful interactions (even though they still happen now but now I care less about them ).

@Majed You demonstrated an act of self-respect.

Subtle hints like avoidance of eye contact, finding a way to not interact with you or just trying to end the interaction early is a huge sign. As well as not responding enthusiastically can be a sign too.

I only have a classic definition - Mental disorders are disconnection from reality whose roots can be traced back to genetic/ environment factors.

@Magnanimous Embrace solitude but also balance it with socializing. Talk to people who are receptive to you not only romantically but also platonically.

@Leo Gura Have you read books of German philosopher Arthur Shophenhauer? Like Counsels and Maxims. I ordered it 2 days ago.

@Leo Gura So is life's problems as they change from one from to another. By the way I am feeling a little unease for you. Actualized.org was and is a great catalogue for personal transformation alongwith other genuine self-help advice which took me years to understand and apply. I hope that you see the depth of content you have created which not only includes ordinary self-help but transcends it . Thanks Leo. However,have you read books like Enchiridion by Epictetus ? I bought a couple of years ago in my college and read it. It is profound.

@Leo Gura Is your health condition badly deteriorated these day or is it making progress ? I'm worried.

@CARDOZZO great post. I have noticed that resilience is my value which involves not only solving problems but also making progress by creating better problems. Of course my response to this post is inspired by Mark Manson's book Subtle Art of not giving a F---. My biggest problem that holds me back is that I often don't count on my own progress in life.

@Leo Gura What about women who don't make eye contact with you initiating conversation with the you. I have had multiple instances of this happening to me.

I had this insight at workplace, when I and other friends of mine were using mobile phones and I was trying to watch videos that would make me look like sort of a cool and wise person who watches self-help videos, listens to particular songs. I choose it to do it for a brief time but the insight hot me when I was thinking about the book Models at that time by Mark Manson that it's better to prioritize my opinion/perception of myself rather than others perceptions/opinion of me. Insight : I am needy and people smell neediness from a mile. So, I need to do things for myself rather than others. After which I started listening to songs and watching videos which I liked rather than that persona of an attractive me would watch. I felt a little sense of joy for sometime.I also think that having a goal of being myself is better rather than performing as if I am an attractive male.

Yup. I remember replaying harsh rejection from a girl in the past in my mind. I have tried acceptance of suffering , cognitive reframing and they helped as well help me to a large degree still.

Disrespectful interactions.

I remember that I was in highschool. I just made a point to quit it and did it. Even though I logged in it few times but it was 2-3 times and never looked back.

@IslandWild In my experience to reach the mountain one must keep moving forward ,sometimes pivoting to a different direction is good but most times including adversity trying again and again is a necessary part of growth. Also, with each time recalibration of one's approach to a thing or multiple ventures is necessary so that one is not just failing but failing better and becoming better with each iteration.

Thanks dude at least someone is concious of this pattern. Even though it is unhealthy for me to count myself as unattractive but I have been bullied by females in the past for hitting on them in school and college. However, I don't think that all women are like that. Majority of them could be good people even if they don't like me.( By the way I read your whole post but this point resonated with me as a 25 year old single male )

@Natasha Tori Maru I didn't know that you were not that tall. 😂Just joking.

Could be as it depends on one's priorities.

@Leo GuraConsider the perspective that this channel maybe moving from simple self-help to spiritual narcissism. Your old videos are better than most recent ones. Also, remember that people who act like devil view themselves as God and I am not saying I am perfect since, I am too flawed but consider reflecting back on your claims , your actions,the way you treat others mirrors your own struggles. Consider the possibility that God transcends both - the ugly and the beautiful which makes it beautiful wholly(Captial B). Just my advice and observation.