Rishabh R

I have developed immense hatred against girls of my batch whom when I first talk to they call me brother and reject me by giving bad reactions while when some other guys of my class talk to them , they get attracted to them and start dating them. I am suffering as even in the past in my highschool a girl whom I used to talk to rejected me by saying to study as these things are futile and after some time she started flirting with other guy. I have been on antidepressants since then and suffer when I see couples cuddling in my college campus. How to develop non reactivity ? Even tough I have made some progress by talking to many girls , flirting with some and realising that I can get a girlfriend.

@Sugarcoat Now I am confused but I appreciate your openmindedness.

@Fearey I have started using notepad.

@Sugarcoat Everyone puts their crush on pedestral including me. @Javfly33 The thing which is helpful is realizing that nobody is above you no matter what it seems.

Contemplated it right now : Now it's time to put the insights into action.

@Buck Edwards ok but any sources for typing one's insights ?

@Buck Edwards thanks for the recommendation. @Sugarcoat great to hear it.

They are helping somewhat as when I am off from them I suffer a lot but when I am on them I suffer but applying self help techniques I get over my suffering. @Sugarcoat Can I ask the disease ?

Ok then I am starting a thread in the Personal Development forum shortly.

Yeah I recognise that I am responsible for this problem but girls also play a part into it , which is not to say that I must blame girls which is precisely what my mind is doing , just separation of responsibility must take place in which I take responsibility for my actions , thoughts and emotions.

@Sugarcoat I am not sure as it is written in my diary with pen and I don't think people will understand my handwriting 😂.

No I am not sad but yesterday I felt angry , sad a mixture of it but now I am feeling normal. No I am not teenager , I am 23 years old. That post was for feeling sadness for continuous 2 days, now again emotional distress has come but I am practicing acceptance via shadow work.

😂Haha , I can share the insights too as I have more than 150 insights on - What is the most wisest way to live life ?

@Buck Edwards maybe you are talking about self acceptance of negative emotions which feels after rejection/,heartbreaker, right ?

@UnbornTao @Sugarcoat I already started contemplating since 2021 and now a these days I have stopped as I have generated too many insights. And yes @UnbornTao some people are not gonna like me or accept me which is a fact of life as I learned this from Mark Manson's connection course. Thanks.

@NoSelfSelf I think that I am already growing as negative emotions are key to growth and the topic was how to develop non reactivity which means how to develop detachment . Sorry dude but maybe that's a part truth not whole truth of the matter.

@Sugarcoat Ok. But your psychoanalysis is perfect in this case that's why I compared you to Jung 😃.

@Sugarcoat yeah maybe it's an internal/inner game problem as women's reactions are like up and down cycle. Maybe I could consider your analysis as Carl Jung's analysis as he was also in psychoanalysis 😂.

@NoSelfSelf why you are so rude all the time huh?

@UnbornTao sorry I didn't understand ?

Yeah and Is this mindset correct that my goal is not to have a girlfriend but practice vulnerability?

No but when I see them with their girlfriends , I feel inferior .

@Sugarcoat You are pointing me to interesting questions which answers I myself don't know or am struggling to know while thinking right now 😂. Maybe for the fact that I am not a player like them who behave narcisistically with other guys if they see them talking to their girlfriends haha,😂

@Sugarcoat because they don't want me.