Rishabh R

@Danioover9000I want to be insightful and to penetrate different angles of the question by asking why and how questions .

For example: Question- Is self questioning more important or questioning others ? 1st way - Close the eyes and sit and ask yourself the above question constantly . Stay with the answers generated like - Self questioning is important for understanding , questioning others is used for information 2nd way : After those answers come then question those answers - why and how self questioning is important for understanding, why and how questioning others is used for information . Question deeper and deeper ( continue questioning with how and why till you wish to contemplate ). Which is the correct way ?

Ya @Danioover9000 I am asking like is contemplating a question from one linear thinking like staying with the question is ok or contemplating it with various angles will work ?

Is contemplation an act of asking the question to oneself and questioning the answers that the mind comes up with? And questioning it again and again like how do I do it . Or is it staying with one question and asking yourself the same starting question again and again and writing what comes to mind in the journal ?

So what comes to mind during contemplation is not correct. It must be questioned like if I ask - What create success: Answers -Non negative thinking -Going despite failure -Understanding what is working and what is not So must I question these 3 insights with the questions like How do I embody it ? How do I do it ? What is the significance of it ? What is it's purpose and what are some examples of it ?

@Leo Gura Like if I ask question to myself then if I get the answer. Afterwards again I have to question that answer to get to the bottom of the topic ? Or I have to keep asking the same question again and again to myself ?

I am also sorry for your loss. It also felt me very sad when my mother passed away. Even 2 years after her death I still have dreams of her.

@Yimpa Thank you very much . Could you give me more ways and how does hopefulness fit into the equation (even though attraction is not an equation ?).@Hibahere Thank you for understanding me. By the way what you are talking about is the key for me and first step to that is being hopeful and optimistic so that one can get the energy to socialise.

@mr_engineer dude if you could not take care of your needs first and fullfill them then how could you take care of someone else's needs . And once you said me on my post that forget about girls right now and first earn a decent career. The thing I have to say is that focussing on career is important but neglecting your needs is an unhealthy way to live life. What one can do is besides building one's career one can also talk to girls on the side.

@Leo Gura Sorry but I was asking that which way like the 1st way or 2nd way is important for right contemplation ?

@mr_engineer I think that first it's important what you want so that you can communicate authentically , then it's important that what the woman wants so that after fulfilling your needs you can fulfill her's.

By the way guys and @Leo Gura is there any philosophy book which is written in easy to understand and places emphasis on questioning and understanding.

A similar situation occured to me in college , my group became friends with a senior who was toxic , negative and used to demotivate others. He used to insult me , abuse me and was a hypocrite. I was really annoyed by him and he along with other friends of mine used to insult me for watching Actualized.org (even now my friends troll me ). He didn't have any friends of his batch (which is a lesson to me here that those who hurt others are themselves living a hurt life ). One day he came to know that we used to talk about him in our room in his absence -about his toxicity. Then he left the group of ours- first he did this by leaving the WhatsApp group of our group . He then called me in his room along with one friend of mine . He said - what's yours problem (by keeping his hands on my shoulder in attempt to choke me but as soon as he did it I gave him a punch on the back . Then a physical fight broke down between me and him in which his shirt was torn . As all this was happening my friend was watching it . He then went to other seniors and he made me wrote an apology letter. After that day some supportive friends of mine talked to other seniors who gave me support). The lesson that I learned here was that truth cannot be hidden for long. And life has it's own way of separating toxic people by making changes. Best luck.

Ya @Socrates questioning our beliefs and assumptions are important not only for science but also for life .

@Husseinisdoingfine yeah it's tough , I also have been jealous from time to time but the truth is that the people who got into prestigious university which you are mentioning also have their downside which is not visible to you. So, if one is competing with other then it must be in many domains of life not single domain. As whole a person has his/her flaws and upsides. By the way competing with others unhealthily will lead you olin the race of never ending competition which will make you lose everytime and make you more miserable. As @integral said comparing yourself with with your previous self is healthy and it also keeps you honest on the track of your progress. From my life I can give you an example - most of my batchmates in college are in a relationship which makes me envy them since I am single but when I look at the fact that they are abusive , have cigerette smoking habit , some of the even have poor performances, are dating abusive girls etc it lessens my envy and when I compare myself to who was I 5 years ago then envy is gone . Hold on , things will get better.

Learned optimism.

Ya @Leo Gura something practical like the outer game of success or an epistemology video .

Has it helped you to bounce back from adversity ?

So that's what your mind course will reach . Some of the basic principles are : Honesty - which is a long term investment Life purpose - an impact to look forward to And finally healthy optimism - for something to look forward to .

@Leo Gura does optimism cause a little improvement in performance or significant improvement ?

@Leo Gura ok.

So @Leo Gura as per self confidence it essential to believe that I can change the situation for better ?

@Yimpa ok thank you . So how do I overcome pain and suffering to get to other side ? Will reframing thoughts help me ? By the way you are right , it shows me the avoidance of truth mechanism .

Any sources , will therapy help? as I am working with the therapist and therapist told that what those girls did to me was extreme as no one deserves to be treated that badly as they treated me. When will your mind course release ?like @Leo Gura please release it soon . Can positive psychology and optimism help me ? And Leo you talk about taking responsibility for situations but I am confused as my therapist said me that if someone mistreated you then that is the choice that they are making and they are responsible for it ? - Is this a healthy way to take responsibility? My therapist also told me to write a forgiveness letter expressing my emotions and later throw it . Also I saw on wikihow's article to how to move on from heartbreak and one of the points was to challenge my negative thoughts and assumptions like - I will not get a girlfriend and replace it with - Is it really true? I don't know the future ( which I also know to be true but not able to apply in life practically). Who knows I will meet someone new in the future.

@Loving Radiance I read the book upward spiral a little and looking forward to do those exercises- writing the thought down and reframing it .