Rishabh R

@Natasha Tori Maru Yup radical self-acceptance of negative emotions is necessary. We must not supress our emotions but rather process them.

That is the point of this whole thread. Reframing or viewing reality more accurately.

@Lyubov Yes negative emotions are built on lies and stories which we tell ourselves about particular event. And keep telling oneself the stories which cause negative emotions or switching to empowering stories is a choice. As per my belief it's impossible to remain happy 24x7. Our emotions are not withing our control but how we respond to our emotions or our ability to regulate our emotions is within our control.

@Ishanga You're sounding like the book - The power of Now. 😂 I also read it. It's good that you have mindfulness skills. In my case I accept my negative emotions most of the time as well as I reframe them other times.

@Ishanga Valid point. Emotional suffering is when one is caught in the mental loop of ruminating which increases the emotional turmoil.

@Ishanga So you're talking about mindfulness and I have realized that being present is as equally important as reframing or accepting negative emotions.

@LukeZ I also had the same experience during my college from which I have recently graduated. What can help you is to stop caring about how girls respond to you and focussing on moving forward.

@Lyubov Suffering is not entirely within one's control and it comes and goes. Nobody remains happy all the time. There are moments of suffering in everybody's life.

@Ishanga Yeah expectations lead to disappointment. Living in now or being present is also a key to emotional regulation.

@Ishanga But reframing the failure,setbacks is a wise way for responding to it as well as taking constructive action.

@Princess Arabia So your talking about radical self acceptance ,right ? Great point @Ishanga. I was talking about emotional pain experienced due to failure,setbacks etc. and negative emotions in general which are part of everyone's life. @LastThursday Thank you.

@Something Funny I agree with what @Yimpa said. These items in your list are the things which you cannot change so, it will be much better if you stop caring about these things and just focus on putting effort/taking action in your life as well keep reframing your failures. For example - My failures are the path towards my success which would be possible if I push through them.

@Nadosa You can question those stories which are in your mind.

@Something Funny Keep going. Eventually you will get there.

@Something Funny But still you are averagely happy and that's enough. You made progress that's what matters.

@Something Funny For example - Being fulfilled, being overall happy ,self respect etc. Define success internally. By the way I took my response from a book -Models by Mark Manson. (It's a great book which you can check out)

@Something Funny I think that you are measuring your progress the wrong way. You can move your standard of success from external achievement to internal metrics .

It's good to see you succeed in this domain of life.

@Carl-Richard One's social environment, social conditioning and the things that one consumes online or offline determines the quality of thought.

Yeah, it is the side effect not the cause and also it can be one's career or hobby or something else other than relationships. I have also realized from my experience (even though I have never been in a relationship ) that when one stop chasing the external -the person stops falling into the trap of hedonic treadmill and fulfillment increases. For example thinking that -If I could get something then I would be happy.

@TheGod Try to sit alone in a room with yourself. Feel through the feelings of loneliness and see it go away the moment you confront it. You had a great realisation that you and we all are escaping from being alone in other words trying to fill the void that we should let it be there. Have you practiced meditation for 20 minutes? Just wanted to ask you.

Do watch these videos for guidance.

This is the key. Having something more important in one's life other than women. It is the advice of top dating books which I have read - not to make women the purpose of your life. Even though before reading those books I tried to have my career more important than the opposite gender and this I have learned after painful circumstances in my life.

This is a great question. I was thinking of it right now.

@meta_male Reframe the rejections in the light of Growth Mindset and keep going until you don't get the results. As well as realise that most girls whom you hit on won't be receptive to you.The moment you find out that a girl is unreceptive leave her and move on to the receptive one's. For example- If a girl is smiling at you, if she approaches you then she is receptive. I was in a similar situation of experiencing chronic rejection in college but now if a girl isn't receptive to me , I don't care and move on.