Zeroguy

I am a chess player and I play on lichess.org .My account name is :Aleksandar198 so if anyone is up for game you know where you will find me My instagram is : zivotic.alex I hope I will make new friends because I am lacking them in real life due to my social isolation which is symptom of my illness. I am mentally ill I suffer from schizoaffective disorder.I've been sick for 3 years and thanks to anti psychotic medications my mind was cleared from all delusions including spiritual once.So I start with clean slate.I believe in determinism and lack of free will.I come in peace with that. One friend told me you are your own saviour and don't believe in external God but I don't believe in internal God also . I am on my own and I will fight for better future.

Oh boy I feel like the enemy on this site.Was for Trump and I am materialist,don't belive in Leo's nonsense.I have my own Truth. My mother died previous year from lung cancer and she was a smoker that firmed my belief in science and not spirituality. This journal will be about my own self actualization.

How is alien awakening higher than Infinite Love Awakening?

God is Infinite Love amongst other infinite things.I experienced God/Infinite Love but I died from experience now I transcended all facets of awakening by realising it's just product of Nothingness.Nothignrss tricks us into becoming all these things and creates intense euphoria just so that we keep getting invested in dreaming forever.

I made full circle back to atheism.I was atheist then I started believing in God then thanks to Leo's video I started believing I am God and now back again I am atheist.

I also realised I am immortal and that life is meaningless but I have full freedom to dream about anything I want.Dream is solipsistic.

I was smoking weed.I experienced cessation with Infinite Love.Then I experienced complete cessation and realised Infinite Love is product of cessation state.When this dreams ends I will experience Infinite Love and new dream will appear.I am nothingness before all facets .I was a bit sad but I am ok now with cessation.

I realised Infinite Love is just product of this nothingness to keep me dream again.There is no more fear of experiencing nothingness now.

You sound like Allan Watts.Well I experienced true nature of the heart/Mind/Source.It's still hard to believe I am God dreaming all this.

@Inliytened1 I ask myself is that happens when we die.

Well I can't describe loss of sensory input rather than blackness.It was best experience of my life.

Meditation

Well I experienced formless Infinite Love without any sensory input.It was black I had no sense of self too.

Nowhere