Zeroguy

I am on Clozapine,great drug.

I do need positive outlook on life. Find something you are passionate about and create something beautiful. That's advice I was given from Leo and Cetus. Good advices. Yesterday I had psychosis it lasted for 3 hours. I am right now going to psychiatrist. Stability of mind not reached so life is still on pause.

I had infinite love/God awakening. I died . I had no sense of self or was I aware of anything. I know that my ♥️ is source of everything so I am God but Reality mindfucks me and I can't get grasp on it. Meanwhile I was hitted with mental illness I started hearing voice and I was in psychosis for 3 months before finally going to psychiatrist. Meds healed my symptoms that's why I abandoned awakening and started to see life more realistically. So now I am materialist and atheist thinking all of spirituality is brain state.

Thanks man those are some wise words. Thanks for explaining selfishness. I don't have any. Maybe Leo but I disagree on solipsism.

Thanks man. I will try to do that. This is good advice.

Even on this forum is easy to see devilry let alone in real life. How to cope?

3 days I am on Clozapine and no paranoia or psychosis. I feel well let's hope it will last. Currently my life is on pause until I recover stability of my mind..

I switched off Clozapine for Olanzapine because I run out of it. Tomorrow I have to collect it from pharmacy. I feel strange. I made myself a promise that I will not read this forum.

It's so obvious. It's a red flag.

ISTJ

Yeah life is so fascinating. So many limits imposed on you. I get to live as this Alex dude and experience this life from unique point. It's more rewarding then being God for eternity. Pain, illness, suffering etc all to make it feel very real. Joy of thinking you are mortal and that fear that all will end when we die. It's work of genius if you think about it.

Well I am not everything because I have fight or flight response. That tiger is having fight or flight too. If tiger decides to harm me it means it's separate from me. It's OK to be separated small human nothing wrong with that I don't need ego boost that I am God.

Yeah everything around me is actual Love/God I became aware of it. Infinite Goodness that too. Problem is that I can't accept it because it sounds to narcissistic I would rather be a good man. I feel better while in "denial".

You are talking about self transcendence . I am just the body as the coffee table Infront of me. I get it.

Have cleaned the house and I am not feeling paranoid. If I get disability that means I can't work anymore. So I will try to become chess GrandMaster and learn accounting. Course costs 400$. Will try to convince J. who is master economist that we open accounting company.