spicy_pickles

I am completely fed up with my current job. I don't like what I do (it is so far removed from my passion, and it really shouldn't be), I don't like the environment and I don't like the stress it brings. The easy option is to get another job, but I've bounced around so much in the past four years hoping that the next place was better. I've now come to discover that no matter where I go, it's all the same. If I do decide to job hop right now, chances are it won't be my final stop either. I have my eye on one particular career, but then again, there's no guarantee I'll get that job either. I'm at a loss as to what to do, just thinking about going into work puts me into a state of depression.

Hey everyone, Really glad this forum exists! I've been listening to the videos for awhile. I'm in the process of changing some habits. A big one as of late has been drinking. Definitely not in excess, but the 2-3 beers every night adds up. This morning, I woke up and felt horrible. I made the decision enough was enough. I am proud to say not only did I not have a beer this evening, I stopped by the gym and had a workout. I also politely declined a request to go out for a drink. Small steps!

Well here it goes! I am a 37 year old woman who has dabbled a bit in self improvement over the years. However, after visiting Actualized.org, I realized that I have the potential to do so much more. My first challenge was to cut back on drinking. As I mentioned in a previous post, this was becoming not only expensive but problematic. Two or three beers a night made me feel good temporarily, but negatively affected my sleep and how I felt the next day. I found I was drinking out of habit, not even out of enjoyment anymore. I have cut back drastically in the past week. I do feel better, but I still have work to do. I will not give it up completely, but like I said, I was doing it out of necessity and not out of enjoyment.

I know I probably shouldn't let emotions guide me. I've had very strong emotions tied to something particular lately, and I think it has to do with the fact I'm discovering more and more what I am. Long story short I moved to the "big city" five years ago. Always loved the city, always made me sad to leave. But, I loved my small town. After realizing how crazy things get here, I long for my quiet small town and simplistic life. I get such a strong emotional pull when I think about it. When I visit and have to leave, I'm upset about it. I think this just goes to show I don't need the big flashy lifestyle or six figure income. I just like things plain and simple. That's it.

Reading this helped me feel tremendously better this morning. On my way to my unfulfilling job, one that causes me more stress and anger, frustration and exhaustion. All this planning ahead (new job, higher professional designation, goals, thought of really making a difference) doesn't mean anything to me anymore. I simply don't care because I can't guarantee it will make me happy. I really can't. After all the money and time I invested in higher education and working jobs I hated but that "looked good" on paper has made me realize I simply want to do other things that make me happy. Simpler things. Be a bartender. Be a farmer. Become proficient at yoga. I'm certain many would scoff at me if I told them that, based on my education, credentials and current work.

I found over the years that tv has been replaced with conversation or reading in my life. That and I simply cannot stand sitcoms, reality TV and most other shows. However, I do enjoy watching things once in awhile. Usually just the weather channel or a sporting event I'm interested in. There's some excellent documentaries every now and then as well. It's just mostly filled with mindless crap these days. Once I realized how much I really disliked what was on tv and how much I could enjoy a good book, I rarely felt the need to turn on the tv